Just diagnosed and so scared

Hello from a new, very scared, member of this club. 

 

I was told this time last week that I had breast cancer. It came as a complete bolt from the blue - I’d found a large lump in my right breast in mid August, completely by chance after losing a lot of weight (on purpose) and my GP referred me to the breast clinic. I don’t know why but I thought I was just making a fuss about nothing so when the consultant gave me the news, I just couldn’t believe it. I had mammograms and ultrasounds and then core biopsies and they wanted to check out some calcification in the breast too. They were all so lovely at the hospital with two consultants both telling me they would “make me well again” - words which I am hanging onto for dear life. I am back to the breast clinic tomorrow to get my results and I feel faint with anxiety about it. Haven’t slept properly since I got the news (always been a bad sleeper). I’m trying to keep going (I’m at work right now) but it keeps hitting me like a train. Not helped by the fact that I’ve developed a sore chest in the last 3 days - like you get with a cold - so obviously I’m terrified that it’s metastasised to my lungs, despite them telling me that my lymph nodes are clear. I haven’t told my 15 year old daughter yet (I’m a single parent) and I can’t bear to think of how this will affect her. 

 

Sorry for the outpouring. I just feel so frightened and then numb and then positive and then frightened again.

 

Cirrus. 

Try not to worry. Easier said than done ! I know this. When I was told mine was cancer the worse part of course is waiting to find out what type. My boobs were also sore before I went and I couldn’t even feel the lump , I had a dimpling. I didn’t tell my daughters ( 13 and 11) until I knew what stage etc.  Mine is stage one and I’ve had surgery now ( 3 weeks ago ) MI Cap flap ( not cat flap ?) which has been a success.   You need to remain positive and I’d say if your nodes are clear than I would imagine your stage is also low and you’ve obviously caught it early. Remember breast cancer is so treatable now days and there are so many options to treat that you will be offered. You will be absolutely fine. Stay positive and think positive and please update. If you want to chat anytime I’m here :heart:  Donna (47 year old teacher with a sore left boob ) xx 

Hi Cirrus

 

First, I’m so sorry you’ve had this diagnosis. Reading your post stirred up some memories - Thursday is the first anniversary of my surprise diagnosis (the consultant had it didn’t look like anything to worry about!). But then, isn’t this diagnosis always an unwelcome surprise? We know the odds but it happens to other people!

 

I can’t tell you not to worry - you’d have to be inhuman! What occurs to me though is that chest pain is a symptom of severe anxiety (of which I have decades of experience) so maybe it’s not another bc symptom. Your lymph nodes being clear is an excellent sign. Not trying to outdo you but 19 of my 21 nodes were infected - yet there was no sign of any spread in the CT scan, bone scan and eventually MRI. My point is, we always fear the worst but it doesn’t necessarily happen. 

 

So, a year later, here I am as I always knew I would be (my husband carried the fear of the bc, not me - too busy being afraid of having panic attacks etc!). It will be the same for you, hopefully a bit faster than a year. I’m not a fan of the idea of a ‘journey’ but it’s certainly an experience so I wish you and your daughter well in what lies ahead.

 

Jan

Hi Donna and Jan

 

I got my biopsy results today and it’s the best news possible really.

Ductal cancer, Stage 1 or maybe 2 (will know after surgery), Grade 1. ER+ PR+

Not had HER2 results yet. (If HER2 and stage 2 then I’ll need chemo but fingers crossed not.) Size is 3cm but slow growing. The surgeon said I’ve probably had it for months.

I’ll be having a wide local excision and reconstructive surgery (using fat from my thighs - every cloud, eh?) on 14th Oct and then a month of radiotherapy 6-8 weeks later.
They will also take out some lymph nodes in case it’s spread as they’re not 100% sure. But even if it is in the nodes they say it’s very treatable. They’ll do a scan of my lungs just in case too as I’ve been fretting about that. Then Tamoxifen long term.

 

But it’s all as good as it can be under the circumstances and I’m feeling very, very grateful. I know there are so many out there who aren’t as lucky in their diagnosis and prognosis.

 

Hi there

 

I have just been diagnosed on28.10.19 and I’m also very scared. Feels like no mans land just now while I wait for further test results to find out what order my treatment will be. Doing my best to stay positive and my work being very supportive. Your not alone in your fear and I’m sure this forum will help us on our journey. Good luck x

Hey there, 

 

I have also just been diagnosed and I am a single parent to a 15 year old boy, I have told him mainly because I have alot more family and friends visiting me than usual… I cannot lie it was a distressing thing to do having to tell him but I am so glad that it is out in the open, I hope that you can find it within yourself to tell your daughter I am sure that she will want to help you in any way she can, I now have my son helping me more around the house and etc x

Hi Cirrus 

 

I’m in your boat, just been told I have breast cancer.  I’m so sorry.

 

It’s a strange feeling isnt it. One minute I’m strong and coping, the next I’m a mess. Seeing my 3 children crying was so hard. I also have 2 grandchildren. 

Another reason to fight it. 

 

Let’s hope we are both able to kick its butt. 

 

Lots of love. 

Janine