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Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

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Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

40 Barry , you are a mere child!i hope you have a wonderful day! I'm 50 in October and I'm determined to be blonde again by then and feel more like myself! 

Amanda I hope you are ok and any future surgery is straightforward. Sissy and I have booked on the moving wars course at the k and c in October. Are you going to do it?

Robin, this thread is a supportive and positive one that really helped me. I was due to go to Antigua just after I was diagnosed. The surgeon gave me the choice of having surgery after the holiday as he said bc doesn't grow that fast. I chose to cancel and we got a full refund. I also had to cancel a skiing holiday  we had booked for February due to chemo. Again we got a full refund. Hopefully you will be able to go n your holiday. We have now booked a family holiday to Italy which I am going on two weeks after rads finish. Can't wait! Good luck with everything. You will get through. 

Claire xxx

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Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

More hospital appointments for you Amanda 😞

With regards to me, no it's another injection for suspected piles. And it wasn't a pleasant experience first time round, so don't expect it to be any better in July x
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Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

Crikey Barry, that sounded bloody eye-watering! I assume July follow up is for results? I have my second Gyno at the end of this month, to see what she wants to do about my prolapsed bladder and possible hysterectomy, more surgery is not something I look forward to but I just want to get it all sorted!

 

Robin, welcome to this huge and superb thread, glad you have found it useful so far. I initially had a WLE in September 2015 and was only expected radiotherapy after, but pathology results and subsequent MRI (dense breasts, too!) set me on the course for a mastectomy and chemotherapy, now having rads so the diagnosis can change and active treatment can go on for many months! Maybe phone you breast care nurse and see when the late the results and decisions of the multi disciplinary team will be in, explain your dilemma. They may be able to rush the results but some do take time as they need 'culturing' so they may not be able to give you definitive results in time and your health safety is what is most important here. If you haven't had final results by the 24th; maybe you could cancel and get your money back but still might be able to re-book (with new travel insurance) if you will be finished active treatment in time? On making enquiries about travel insurance earlier this year, I found that no one wanted to offer annual travel insurance for me anymore but it would be possible to get single trip for specific travel dates/destinations. Make enquiries to insurance companies before you book, to make sure you can get insurance and make sure everyone who will be travelling with you is on the same policy. 

 

Amanda x

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Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

I wish I could say "only" 40 Ruth! Thanks you for the wishes though ladies.

 

Robin, when my wife Nikki was diagnosed last August, the rest of the year was one big low point. But it feels a long time ago when Nikki was beginning her chemotherathy in October and everything that came with it. We can't wait until Florida in October, so give yourself something to look forward to. Whether it be between treatment or afterwards! 

 

 

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Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

Welcome Robin. I feel for you and your holiday woes - I had to cancel a short trip last September which was one of the low points for me. Hope you get something sorted.

 

Great to see you here again Barry. Hope you have a wonderful birthday. Wish I was still only 40!!

 

Ruth

 

xx

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Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

Hope you have a great time Barry , my son is 18 tomorrow ,now that makes you feel old!!!!
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Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

Hi Robin,welcome.Can you leave it til 24 th to decide re your holiday?There is a good chance you will know what your treatment will be by then.Also there are quite a few insurers that will cover ladies with breast cancer if you are not able to renew your annual policy.Timscale wise I had my op on 18 th June and started radiotherapy on the 21st August(most people have 3 or 4 weeks) and it starts 6-8 weeks after surgery .If chemo is recommended I'm afraid you will be tied up with treatment for a few months longer .Could you move holiday back a few weeks of necessary ?? I had same dilemma last year although my holiday was only in Scarborough!!!
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Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

I know Jill I'm getting on!

 

Nikki's arranged a small meal and drinks with a few "selected" friends and family tomorrow night to celebrate.

 

Should be good.

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Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

Happy birthday you old codger.,,,
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Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

Hello ladies, and any gentlemen who read these posts. I do get alerts when this post is active, so thought I'd quickly pop in and say hi.

 

How is everyone doing? All the ladies from last summer, sorry to hear about any struggles back at work. Nikki works way too hard if you ask my, she's been back full-time since she finshed her rads. Working does seem to keep your mind occupied though. Her hair is growing back nicely, with people who didn't know thinking she chose to have her hair short.

 

Amanda. I had my first visit to the doctor in May. I won't lie a needle up the you know where isn't very pleasant. Another one planned for July!

 

I still notice the cancer ads and any news about possible treatments, what about everyone else? Do you dwell on things much?

 

Oh and I'm 40 on Tuesday! 

 

Sending love to you all.

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Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

RobinH,

sorry to hear that you had to join us - but really happy sto see you here. It is great, that you already have a 'handle' on us all, lol.

 

Dense breast, lol - I had the same challenge - it just means that the tissue inside is still in pretty good shape!

MRI might  not be able to 'see' through it all, but it will depend on the initial diagnosis of your type of bc.

 

It will give then a better picture of how large and whether there are other undetected unusual 'bits'.

 

The result for MRI and also biopsy should take about two weeks to come through.

 

My suggestion would be to discuss with your assigned BC nurse, if you haven't already done so.

She may be able to get 'provisional' results and to help you make the relevant decisions as to your holiday plans.

 

xxx

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Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

Hi robin, sorry to hear of your diagnosis. Has your team said anything about ongoing treatment yet? Chemo/rads etc? If you didn't have to have chemo then a September holiday may be okay still. When I was diagnosed back In October I had two holidays booked, one for the end of October and the other for February, which I unfortunately had to cancel, luckily I had travel insurance and I've rebooked one of them for November this year. Good luck with your wle xx
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Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

Hello everyone, I've been reading through the start of this thread and following people's stories, particularly Jill1998 - thankyou for starting it 🙂

I was diagnosed a few weeks ago and will have my WLE next Friday 10th. It was my OH who first spotted the lump so I have him to thank, I admit I've been a bit lax over the years in doing breast checks, although I've always gone for mammograms. Although this lump didn't show up on the mammogram they gave me when I saw the consultant, as apparently I have 'dense breasts' (?) so I had to have an MRI. Anyway, the consultant is upbeat so, well, 'fingers crossed' sounds a bit pathetic but you know what I mean!

I really appreciate this forum and it has helped me a lot to read about other people's experiences. I've been telling a few people 'as and when' but mainly just planning to go on as normal, for as long as possible.

 

The headache for me at the moment is about holidays - we've had to cancel one weekend away but I'm hoping I'll be OK for September when we are planning a big holiday (booked about 6 months ago) to celebrate OH's 60th birthday and retirement. Either we cancel before June 24th which is when our annual travel policy runs out, and then find we could have gone, which would be a huge disappointment, or we hope I'll be OK but may not find an insurer to cover us, or I need more treatment and we have to cancel at a later date and lose £1000+. I probably won't know the result of the biopsy by 24th, so - to cancel or not to cancel??  - ACK! 

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Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

I'm a 1964 vintage Sue. Great year all round I believe. Smiley Happy

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Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

Good monring Peggy....

 

advancing years Smiley Wink ?

 

Bottles of red wine get better the older they are! I am a 1958 vintage...lol

 

xxx

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Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

Totally agree that having something else other than BC to think about is a good thing. I definitely manage to forget about it in the main during the hours I'm at work. And it's great to be with my colleagues again.

 

Good luck with the start of rads and going back to work Claire. xx

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Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

I start rads on Monday and I'm going back to work on a phased return on the same day. I'm working two days a week to start with. I know a lor wil be expected of me and it will be very easy to do more than the agreed hours. ( I'm deputy head of a primary school) but I am determined to keep to those days. My rads are all at half four so I will have to leave school early each day. I'm looking forward to going back and I need it as I have been at home since My first op in October. As Sissy said it will give me other things to think about which I need. It's time to me on and try to put bc behind me. Living with the fear of it returning will be hard but work will help.

i was a pretty confident person before all this happened. I had a great life, loved my job and was pretty happy with who I was. BC has knocked me  hard so I wouldn't underestimate the effect it has on us emotionally and mentally. I haven't had counseling but I'm doing a moving forward course in October. One thing I have learned is that it is not a bad thing to show vulnerability and ask for help. I have had fantastic support from friends and family,and this forum and could not have got through it on my own.

love to all

Claire xxxx

 

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Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

I went back to work a week before rads started, I'm now on rads 8/15. I work a set shift pattern and am on a phased return of 4hrs a shift. I've found it tiring working and having rads, but it's so nice to be back and doing something, it also helps to think about something else! Xx
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Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

 
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Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

Hi Sue,

I finished chemo end of January and had node clearence early March. Did not need rads so once I'd recovered from the second lot of surgery (had a MX and recon late last August) I started to feel better physically relatively quickly, give or take the general aches and pains that chemo, and advancing years Smiley Happy , seem to leave you with and I'm having some physio for those now. Mentally I mostly think I'm doing okay. Have had some really useful counselling sessions at The Haven which have touched on work related things as well as BC. 

 

Thanks for the virtual confidence. Smiley Happy

 

Anyway, that's enough of me. Bed is calling. Sleep well. xx

 

 

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Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

I am on a phased return. It is ok but as you have all said they sometimes think you can do more. I am lucky because the occ health have said when I have my herceptins I can work from home for the rest of the week so all is good xx
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Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

Hi again Peggy,

 

When did you complete treatment? You may be asking a little bit too much of yourself, as your body may still be recovering from the ravages of treatment.

At a guess our minds need recovering too! Although never visible, we fight in our heads and hearts with so many things over such a long time - it must be tireing for our minds, too - not just our bodies.

And although having won major battles, it may not mean that we will initially be mentally strong enough to change challenges we faced before diagnosis.

Have you ever researched or thought of working with a 'confidence coach'? I met a lady recently, who is exactly that! And, by all accounts - it seems to work well for her clients.

Not me, I hasten to add, lol - I fortunately - or unfortunately - depending how you look at it - have the stuff in buckets.

 

Sending you some of it virtually.

xxx  

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Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

Hi Sue,

My situation is really not so bad - it's more my ability to handle it that's making me cross at the moment. I had promised myself going through treatment that I'd be more forceful and not allow myself to get so stressed about work issues. To be fair, my company has been very supportive throughout the entire time I was away and working from home. I just need to toughen up a bit and learn to say no a bit more often. I'm glad that you find yourself in such a supportive work environment - I am sure employers who treat their staff in such a way get the benefit of staff loyalty in return - but it's not good that you have to take so much time as annual leave.

xx

 

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Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

Hi PeggyCat, Jill1998 and JenJen,

 

How horrible, that you are being put under so much pressure.

 

Not sure how brave you feel - and how large the companies are, which you work in. Do you have an HR department, which you could rope in to raise cancer/chemo awareness?

Do your colleagues know what you have been through?

 

I am very fortunate in one way and perhaps not so fortunate in another.

Working for a small family run business (9 employees including me) it is nearly impossible for me to consider taking much time off, when I do take days off - I request them as annual holiday. If I am unable to contribute to the business I would have to leave, so they can employ someone more, who can.

 

However, as one member of staff has been through chemo as a younger person, so there is much understanding, especially during the first 8 days after treatment, which really helps to take the pressure off.

 

Long may it remain so, as I have no idea how I will be, when challenges, such as fatigue  start to have a cumulative effect and my recovery in between cycles may slow down.

 

xxx

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Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

I've found it the same with work. Colleagues have been pretty understanding but I've really had to be firm with boundaries which I've not always found easy. It's hard to keep having to say  that no, I can't come in for a meeting at 8.45am and stay for another one that goes on until 6.00pm when I'm supposed to only be working six hours. I'm feeling really guilty today because I've just asked for a week's leave in July. I am entirely entitled to it but can't help feeling a bit cheeky after having so much time off recently. xx

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Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

End of the tunnel is in sight Amanda ,what a year you have had.Treat yourself to some vodka,chocolate sprouts (don't spare the vodka ,or chocolate )....
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Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

Yes Jen,I found that too.Once I was back through the door colleagues/managers just expected me to get on with it and I found it hard to say no too .I did ,but it was hard .
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Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

Im planning on asking for a phased return I know ocxy health will agree but once im "on deck" itll all go out of the window and I will be expected to do whatever im told etc so I guess till im mentally able to say no I shouldnt go back
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Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

Hi everyone, I'm still around, I don't post as much as I used to but do try to check in regularly.

 

Just done 8/15 rads; it's a little tiring at random times but nothing to report regarding my skin, can't see even slight reddening. I started on tamoxifen three weeks ago, three weeks after chemo finished.

 

I think my first post here was on the 11th August, the day I got my diagnosis, so much has happened since then but I have been back here again and again for help, support and advice. The times when I have been down are the times I always know where to come for some encouragement, because you are really the only ones who really understand!

 

Amanda x

 

PS....I wonder how Nikki and Barry are, I think Barry was due his appointment with the specialist last month?

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Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

Going back to work after a big chunk of time off is hard,I think I'm just staring to be in top of things now 8 months on.Can you negotiate a very gradual phased return with restrictions on your work load etcI did with the support of Occy Health.
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Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

From what I have been told I wont get Tuesdays appt till Monday, Weds on Tuesday etc and they can be all over the day so that could be a problem for booking any meetings . The hospital I work at is only 15 mins from the oncology hospital whereas if im travelling from home its 1.5hrs so work would on some days put me nearer. Im so bored I think im ready for work part time mentally but I have just heard that theres a pile of work on my desk already so I think I might stay off because thats just a bit of a mickey take!
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Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

I did work through mine Jen but I have a pretty cushy office job and nothing much was expected of me! I found  it helped me to focus and I was still in the don't want to spend to much time on my own stage so being at work was great for me, I booked all mine from 4pm on and only had one changed to a mid morning so I took that day off as I had a 40 mile round trip, Mike or my niece came with me each day so I had company and a driver if I didn't feel like doing it, all in all I found it fine but it's best to play it by ear especially as your still recovering from chemo xx

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Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

Hi Jen,everyone is different in how they cope with rads ,personally I couldn't have worked as I felt very tired and I just couldn't have concentrated at work.Also although most of my appointments were in the morning they were at random times and sometimes they were running late and I had to travel 20 miles too so big chunks of my day were taken up with travelling too.I think it depends what job you do and how flexible they are with your return and if you can change things if you find it too much.I know Ange worked through rads but found it v tiring and Jo worked too.
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Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

Im 3 weeks not 4 🙂 doesnt hurt much now so convinced myself it was longer ..yay to not hurting 🙂
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Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

Im still here 🙂 im 4 weeks post MX and waiting for rads I dont visit often as busy putting a rubbish few months behind me. Couldnt have done it without you all xx

Trying to decide if work + rads is a bad/good idea as bored so going into town most days + half pay certainly is a bad one

Love to all
Jen x
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Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

Hi all, I still read this thread, though I mainly write on the chemo/rads threads now. You were all fantastic when I was first diagnosed back in October, I couldn't have got through all of this without the support of the bcc forums xx
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Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

Hi Everyone,
Good to see you back. Missed you.
Amanda - how you getting on??
Tina - hang in there gal.
Love to all xxxx
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Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

Hi Delly Doo and the rest of you!! 👍🏻
I'm still dipping in and out of various threads too! Chemo finished April 1st and Rads started on 19th May! 10 zaps down 9 to go!!
This thread was a god send when I had the C Bomb dropped on me last August too!
Thank you all for your love and continuing support 😘 Xx Tina
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Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

Hello Delly, Jo, Jill and all, long time since I have posted. This thread helped me so much so just having a little nose. As Jill says chocolate covered sprouts are the answer. I still don't know how I managed to get through ops, chemo and radio still having herceptin but counting down at each one. Would never have been able to get through this without support. Big hugs to my support network xxxx
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Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

                                                Laughing cat.jpe

 

I like healthy! Brilliant...

 

xxx

 

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Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

Yep ,ticks all the boxes ....brassicas for cancer fighting ,chocolate and vodka to make you better .... Combine all 3 and you get vodka soaked chocolate sprouts ....
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Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

Special kind of healthy garnish for your gin Sue. Smiley Happy

xx

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Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

What the heck is that?

Still uninitiated, lol...

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Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

Stick a vodka chocolate sprout in it Sue and you've got it just right ....
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Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

                                               GT.jpe

 

Cheers!

 

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Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

Another year older now Jill.... Can't hack it anymore! 😜

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Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

Yes Claire hope they don't give you any problems, it's hard to believe you are coming out the other side now, only seems like yesterday you were joining the thread along with Amanda and Tina and so frightened but your almost there now and have got through with grit and determination! Xx  

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Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

Slipping up...
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Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

3 bottles tonight Jo,you normally have 4???!
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Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

Good luck with your rads Claire ,I'm sure yoy will find it a lot less challenging than chemo ,the light at the end of the tunnel is in sight .