Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

[MadAnge]

Good luck tomorrow Jill 🙂 Big hugs xxxx

[MadAnge]

Bigs hugs MissyDec16 xxx at least you now know what you are dealing with. Stay strong ..... Onwards and upwards.......... Xxx

[Missydec16]

Good luck Jill for tomorrow, thinking of you xx

[Missydec16]

Thank you Dizzydee, hope the calmness lasts! X

[Fuffs123]

Sending big hugs to Jill for tomorrow. It won't be nearly as bad as you imagine and at least you'll get a few hours sleep, even if you are unconscious, lol. Don't expect you'll get much tonight. Yep, double G & T went down very nicely for me the night before my first op. 2nd time round, few glasses of wine. Now I'm on the wagon due to my dodgy tum and my Anastrazole induced hot flushes! Oh the joy of it all. Xx

[Suzie55]

Good luck for tomorrow Jill xx

[DizzyDee]

Sending you hugs MissyDec and glad ur feeling relieved. You can move forward after results xxx

[Missydec16]

Hi Madange, they found 7 out of 17 lymph nodes from SNB and ANC had C cells. Consultant said it didn't change my treatment plan and said it was just one of those things. So for the first time since my diagnosis I didn't break down and cry. Consultant said she was positive with my treatment and I said ok and I was relieved. I'm trying to control the urge to google the node involvement! I've an appt with Oncologist next Wed and chemo to start mid-ish July. I feel ok surprisingly and am trying to believe in my medical team and get on with it xx

[Jobey68]

Yep agree on the diazepam front! Got me through the early days along with wine and Gin, wasn't worried about the op but they told me to take one anyway so I wasn't going to argue, Jill it does seems to be never ending at the time but looking back now the past four months have gone in a flash! Does make me angry though that it taken half of the year from me, one minute it was feb and now it's bloody June! My sons getting married in less than 3 months and I'm only just catching up with all the planning that's been going on around me and I still have to buy a dress!!!!! 😩😩😩😩

[missmore]

Sarah,  good luck with your consultation tomorrow

I'm off to see mine tomorrow as well to make a plan going forward re rads and hormones

sheena xx

[missmore]

Evening Jill

I shared a bottle of champagne with my sister in law the night before my op

just do what you need to do my love

wishing you all the best for tomorrow,  all will be well and take the painkillers,  don't be brave xx

sheena xx

[DizzyDee]

Hang on in there Jill. Can i add that dizeapam is a girls best friend as well as beer/wine. Do ask for a pre op dose tomorrow it really helped me before the op. I went in ti the anasethetic room calm and serene and I had a severe phobia of surgery. Not anymore though thanks to my good friend dizeapam. Sending you a big hug Jill xxxx You can do this xxxx

[MadAnge]

Thanks for the pre op pointers ladies 🙂 still have not got my date 😞 I hate this waiting 😞 xxx

[Jill1998]

Good tip,will hold breath....fed up of this bloody carry on..Months to go ,husband bored of all the fuss already,think will have to just get on with it myself....

[Jobey68]

Most definitely!! Made sure I drank lots of water and scrubbed my teeth well the next morning so didn't walk in smelling like a brewery! Did hold my breath when they took a wee sample but were only checking to see if I was pregnant, I said I hadn't better be hubby's had the snip!!! 😳😳😂

[Jill1998]

And you survived.Better have another then....

[Jobey68]

I drank half a bottle of wine the night before mine!! 😳😳🍸🍸

[Jill1998]

Doesn't say anything about not drinking on pre op instructions so having a beer to calm self down.

[Jill1998]

Cats are very calming.They don't do stress,sleeping ,washing ,watching....

[MadAnge]

MissyDec16 hope it went ok today. I was thinking of you. Big hugs xxx

[missmore]

Cat coming home with me tomorrow,  big black cuddly boy! V nervous as i have never had any pets before oh well,  life's full of surprises these days x

[MadAnge]

Enjoy your cat 🙂 I am still waiting too. Was told they would be in contact following a second lot of biopsies but still nothing. I really hate this waiting around 😞

[Suzie55]

Welcome Sarah, I hope you find some comfort here with all these kindred spirits, I know I have!!  Reading all the replies really helped me see that I'm not going through this alone and it has also made me feel very fortunate that my BC was caught early so doesn't involve chemo (unless my family history gene test tells me different)

I'm due for surgery on Monday 22nd so have been waiting nearly 4 weeks to get started and to be honest I've been able to keep myself quite busy with work, family and friends these past few weeks but I had a day off yesterday (blood test and dental app) and it suddenly hit me when the dentist generally me how I was, I said ok then quickly said no actually I'm not!!  I was so glad when they put the dark glasses on me as I could feel the tears running down my face.  I got back to my car and burst into tears :-(.

I wish you the best of luck with your surgery, keep thinking about your wedding anniversary and plan something special so you have something to look forward to, take care Suzie x

[Sarahd-1]

Thank you Missmore

It does seem to be dragging on. I am seeing my consultant on thursday and I will ask her then. I hope everything with your new cat goes well. Im sure it will be a welcome distraction. Thank you so much for your kind words. its very much appreciated. xxxxxxxxxxxx

[missmore]

Oh Sarah, you poor thing x what an awful long wait! Have they said why the wait..?

I'm not brave at all,  was all over the place yesterday and not brilliant today but it is a great place to find folk going through all sorts of stuff, makes you feel able to share things you wouldn't really want to say to your nearest and dearest

to give you an idea of how dippy I am at the moment, my son has persuaded me to get a cat and we are going to the re homing centre this afternoon god help me!

Sarah,  you may find someone here that'll be able to make suggestions as to why there is a holdup

sending you love and hugs xxx

sheena

[Sarahd-1]

I rang this morning and  the lady I spoke to was amazing and very helpful. I am so glad there is an organisation like this and very grateful. Thank you 🙂 xxxx

[June_BCC]

Hello Sarahd-1

Welcome to the forums. 

I'm sorry to hear of your diagnosis, this must be a very difficult time for you.
As well as the support you will receive on the forums you might find it helpful to talk things through with one of the helpline staff, they are there to offer emotional support as well as provide information. The free phone number is 0808 800 6000 and lines are open 9-5 Monday to Friday and 10-2 Saturday.

Best wishes             

June, moderator

[Sarahd-1]

Hi I am 45 and got diagnosed at the beginning of May. I have been all over the place! I have had I have had 3 biopsies the last one is under my arm. I havent had the result yet for that one. I am having my breasts removed on the 7th of July. People keep saying be positive but I am finding it very hard. Telling my kids was the worst thing I have ever done. I keep thinking every day its still in me that its spreading! I have been reading your messages and you are all so brave. I really want my life to go back to normal. It will be my first wedding anniversary on the 2nd of August and was really hoping to be able to celebrate it but dont think I will be able to now. I am hoping that once this has been treated I can be as positive as you lovely ladies are being

[MadAnge]

Yep I know the feeling. Today at work I wanted to scream at someone and tell them to get a life and there are more important things in life. Think I am in angry mode today. It seems many of us are. Hope you guys sleep well ( or as well as you can) big hugs xxx

[Jill1998]

Go girl, the dogs of Britain have benefitted from your misfortune !

[Jobey68]

Definitely! I don't have the same tolerance with people anymore, I don't let people out of junctions in the car, I won't move out of anyone's way, I've never had much patience but I don't have any now, I've had a screaming fit at a women for leaving her dog in the car on a hot day and moved another one to the shade that was tied up outside a shop in full sun, hubby despairs of me but I really don't give a s**t anymore!

[Abby63]

Thank you all, you are amazing.   Wish you all a peaceful night and good pozitive energy always. XXXX

[Jill1998]

Do you think we would get off on diminished responsibility if we did punch someone?I felt like squashing my sandwich into someones face at lunchtime.

[Jobey68]

I could have slapped everyone I came in to contact with in the early days of my diagnosis! Listening to anyone going on about trivial rubbish just made me want to scream and go on a rampage, I don't think I went in a supermarket for weeks, I seriously would have done something I would have regretted!!! Fast forward a few months and all is well again, I had zero Interest in anything but life does begin to return to normal 😊Xxx

[missmore]

Lol - Jill, it's like a wave of anxiety that just comes over you

[Jill1998]

We all have our crap moments and sometimes when you least expect them ! I nearly had a fight with a man who pushed I front of me in a queue in pub yesterday ,wanted to head butt him but restrained myself and then went to the toilet to cry .

[missmore]

Hello Gabriela

It's not a group any of us ever wanted to be in, but here we are and everyone exchanging hopes and fears without having to protect anyone from the raw emotions

I had a meltdown this morning whilst washing the dishes and chatting to my son, he's 22 and a diamond, I usually try to keep the appearance of normality up but I just caved in and let all my fear show.  Wish I could have kept it in when I saw his face crumble  - that's why I'm so glad to be able to get things off my chest here

keep talking with the ladies here, they are such a support

sending you love and support

sheena xx

[Jill1998]

Hi Gabriella,doesn't matter what you do for a job when it is happening to you it is totally different !Everyone talking on this thread has been where you are,in shock , terrified ,disbelief...But we are all helping each other through it . I was diagnosed. 2 weeks ago and thank God I found this forum because the first week there would have been no way I could have got through it without talking to people who really understood .We have been taking it in turns to calm each other down and be hysterical .Women who are further on in the process are very calming to talk to and full of useful info .Keep in touch Jill.

[Jill1998]

Different mad!At least it's a change!

[Janet_BCC]

Hi Abby63

Welcome to the BCC Forum.

Your post from 14/06/15 at 9.39am has now gone live on the forum following your user name change.

I'm sure you will find lots of information and support here from fellow members.

Very best wishes

Janet

BCC Moderator

[MadAnge]

Hi Jill1998 it was a nickname for me at school. I was one of the Mad ones 🙂 I have calmed over the years though!! I guess in a way this stuff is making mad but in a different way 🙂 xx

[Jill1998]

Hi Wiffle,I too have son going through A/S levels I am gearing myself up to tell him after exams,don't want to stuff that up for him so hard to even think about it!Telling people is rubbish and I hate the idea of people knowing my private business?I have told people in stages as I felt ready to do so and don't intend to broadcast it to the world and his wife.Peoples reactions are mixed I have found that people get upset and then you feel responsible for upsetting them so you get upset and so on....I noticed you have just moved house it must feel overwhelming dealing with this as well.I was diagnosed just over 2 weeks ago and I am starting to feel calmer and more in control.Its a funny illness because it doesnt just affect you ,it affects everyone around you,and affects how people interact with you too.The people on this forum really understand and it really helps to talk to people who are further on in the process as they are good at calming you down and giving you hope that its not as bad as you first think and that you will get through this.Good luck,keep having a rant here it will make you feel better.Jill.

[Jill1998]

Hi MadAnge, were you mad before the diagnosis or have you just been sent bonkers by this like the rest of us?!

[Jennifed]

Dear Wiffle I'm so sorry for you - I am a few weeks ahead but your feelings are the ones that we all share. Try to believe that everything will be ok. Thinking of you.

[MadAnge]

Thank you Missydec16, its good to know that other ladies are feeling the same way. Trying to be brave infront of my family but i am scared. Want it out now!! Good luck on Wednesday keep me posted xx

[DizzyDee]

Morning all,
Wiffle sad u dont gell with your BC Nurse i found this too she wasn't that empathetic. Asked to be changed to another nurse as these are your first port of call if u have probs later on after u finish treatment. The helpline on here is invaluable when u have that situation. I was lucky as my surgeons and consultants are fab so dont really need the nurse and now i have been moved to the young womans deadicated breast nurse and she is brilliant. Really important you get this sorted out. I was lucky my anasethesist and surgeon and day surgery nurses were brilluant as I had a phobia of surgery. My old BC nurse wasn't sympathetic at all and this didnt help. Without my fab aurgical team could not have done it. They cured me of my phobia too!

Jill good luck with ur surgery too Thursday will be thinking of you and let us all know how u get on. Dee xxxxx

[Abby63]

Hi everyone,

I am new here and had no idea few weeks ago that I will be posting on a cancer forum as a patient. Well... you know yourself as well as I do... things like this happen... First mammogram ever , part of the  national screening program , then a second mammogram then  the ultrasound  then one, two, three... ,  loads of biopsies (12 cores and vacuum aspiration) 

The diagnosis was recently  (4 days ago) confirmed as being grade 2 invasive ductal cancer of aprox 1.8 cm with high grade DCIS. Fortunately ER+ve. So, this is the technical stuff, medical terms... I am a nurse and  a cancer nurse specialist . Does that makes things easier ?! No, not really as you realize no matter how much you know in fact  you get through the same anxiety, frustration  as everyone else. It is surreal to have stepped over the fence and experience everything as a patient myself. So different...so overwhelming and in a strange way- a unique chance to experience things and learn them from the inside...

I knew once the biopsies were done , something was not right, even if I have never felt any lumps or bumps. So I've told my children  and my partner even before the official disclosure of the results. There were many tears involved. I am blessed with an extremely supportive family, friends and work colleagues. I know they all mean well trying to comfort me and I don't want to act ungrateful but all I want is them to behave normal and look after themselves more then of me.  I want my life back. I will fight to have my life back... but I know, nothing will be the same as before.

 At present I am waiting to see  the surgeon next week, to decide of the type of surgery I will have, to present me the pros and cons... I know from the brilliant breast nurse specialist that the intention is to give me a conservative surgery , followed by radiotherapy , maybe more after they know the results once the lymphnodes are analysed... I wish I have a total mastectomy and get rid of the enemy(I know they say, the chances of reaccurance are about the same as with lumpectomy...)  and don't know if this is possible due to a heart attack I had 5 years ago.

I want life to continue like nothing ever happen but I am well aware that cannot be the same anymore.

I have  read the posts before mine and I find all of you so brave. Compared to you all I am scared and anxious. I act brave in front of the dear ones but inside I am shaking... I am scared of this fight and I am not a brave fighter, but I have to win this battle . I have so much yet to achieve, I haven't even hold my grandchildren yet...

Good luck to everyone and hope you will accept me into your group. I promise not to pester you with my long posts...

XX Gabriela

[Jill1998]

Hi Sarah,got go ahead for op on Thursday just want to get it over and get on with the next part of this never ending process.The snoring just adds to the general early morning waking experience doesnt it!!

[wiffle]

hi me too, crap isnt it, feel ok some times and sick and wanting to burst out into tears other, my tumour is stage 1 , grade 3 not hormonal, don't gel with the breast care nurse which doesn't help. Had to tell my kids yesterday which was horrible, and my sister is telling my dad tomorrow. feel lonely even though my family and friends are being lovely, if its not an hormonal one ive read its more likely to come back which scares me even more . on the outside brave on the inside terrified.

[spongebob52]

Hi Jill how did your appointment go? Sarah wife

of snoring husband.