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Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

delly
Member

Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

Ps. Francine - keep eating the teacakes and you and peggycat - keep keeping your tops on - lol !! xx

Good wishes and love to everyone else I haven't mentioned xx

delly
Member

Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

Yeh Claire and Sissy, good luck from me too. As I said to Lorna - get rid of the unwanted SQUATTER ROACH !! 

And Lorna - back on the subject of "feeling let down by your body" - it is totally understandable. You're struggle and attempt to put it into words was extremely worthy and warranted. But, with my knowledge of human biology and medicine, it also never ceases to amaze me what our bodies CAN do, DEAL and COPE with. It has a HUGE propensity to fight and HEAL.

Cancer may have been around through the centuries for many, many previous years - UNDETECTED. But, due to the more recent sophisticated methods of diagnosis, it CAN now be DETECTED to a greater degree, and . . . earlier and earlier. Makes you wonder if it IS on the INcrease or that we are able/can diagnose it that much better.

 

I'm now going to apologise for my having been on this area of the forum. My first few initial posts were simply to read about what was happening with you all, just say hello and offer my support. I somehow turned that around to my own issues - some of which are not to do with cancer and all that it entails. I'm sure some of you regulars here have been seeing and reading my posts thinking "Why is SHE posting on here when she's NOT "newly diagnosed" but that much further on following treatment.  Yes, YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY BLOOMIN RIGHT.

 

Like you Lorna, and your recent  epiphany one night about the loss of confidence in your body, I had a milder one.  After my being up all of the previous night,  I FELL into bed last night at 9. 30pm, woke up at 2.00 am with the immediate thought of the forum. Fell asleep again, then woke up at 6.00 am, again with immediate thoughts of this forum and my imposition to this particular area.  NO,  I'm not NEWLY diagnosed, so I should NOT be taking up the space, your time, eyes and ears on here and I feel very conscious about it. I somehow got locked into it.  Sorry that I HAVE done, because you all need whatever strength you have for yourselves and each other right now. 

 

I TRUELY THANK all of you who have been so incredibly sympathetic, giving and understanding towards me and my "issues".   I should be on the "Life following Breast Cancer" areas and such.

 

I may pop in to annoy you now and then tho' just to see how you're all doing.

Lotsa love

Dellyxx                        

 

PeggyCat
Community Champion

Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

Good luck Claire. xx

A.Faed
Member

Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

Good luck fot tomorrow Claire! Look forwarding to hearing from you again soon!

 

Amanda x

Tandy 4
Community Champion

Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

You'll be in my thoughts Hun! Step done this time tomorrow!👍🏼 Hope you get some rest tonight! Do you know what time you're due to theatre? Wishing you good luck and lists if love Claire!! 😚 Xxx Tina

Jobey68
Member

Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

Will be thinking of you Claire and praying it all goes smoothly and you are home in time for your birthday! Lots of love Xx Jo 

Cs66
Member

Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

Thank you everybody. Just want it over now. Don't know how much sleep I will get tonight! Will post when I am out the other side! Love to you all xxxxx 

Fuffs123
Member

Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

Good luck Claire for tomorrow. Yep, definitely take the morphine if on offer and don't forget the cushion for the seatbelt. Remind your driver to avoid any speed humps on the way home! My OH thought he was doing me a favour taking the shortest route home but forgot it was littered with them. The air was blue ******
familytree
Member

Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

Good luck tomorrow Claire...this time tomorrow it will be over x
Jill1998
Community Champion

Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

Don't forget to say yes to morphine if offered,it helps a lot pillows to cushion your boobs from seatbelt on return journey,stay in hospital as long as you need ,don't rush home.
Cs66
Member

Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

I think they will sign me off for as long as I want but definitely said only two weeks before I can drive. I am not a good patient as I get bored very easily and I am used to doing lots! After my Caesarian 20 years ago I was told not to drive for 6 weeks but I only managed four. I even rode my horse after 6 weeks but was advised three months! However, don't have a horse at the moment ( was about to buy a new one before this b****y thing struck!) and I am a lot older now so will try to do as I am told! 

Weird today as I am feeling very positive about tomorrow I think it is relief that at last something is happening and it's not just tests and waiting. I am sure I will be petrified when tomorrow comes though! 

Hope evryone is having a good day. Hugs Claire xxxxx

Tandy 4
Community Champion

Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

Claire just read your post on time off!!?........ I was told no driving, lifting, housework for 6 weeks! And self signed off for first 7 days then my dr has signed me off for 6 weeks....... I've got excerisess to do too. 

Suppose every dr different eh?...... Just can't believe you're going through more than I did and told less recovery time!? 

Thinking of you Hun, good luck, talk soon 👍🏼😘 Xxx Tina 

bazza7676
Member

Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

Morning everyone, lots going on. Good luck and well wishes to all. I've got my blood test today, starting to feel some of the anxiety you all feel! x
Jill1998
Community Champion

Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

Good luck tomorrow Claire.Im off to work again today for a few hours but still knackered from yesterday ,hoping I will gradually get more "with it" .
Cs66
Member

Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

Hi Sissy, I was told I would be signed off work for two weeks but will need at least four. No driving for two weeks which will be. Frustrating as we live in the middle of nowhere! Likely to be some pain and bruising but got exercises to do to to help regain arm movement and reduce risk of lymphodoema, I always sleep on my front so will find it difficult. 

I am dreading the surgery but at least it means I have got rid of the thing that wants to kill me! I don't know when or if I will go back to work between op and treatment starting. It depends on what they tell me, dates for starting and how I feel. 

Big hugs to all Claire xxxxx

Sissylw1980
Member

Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

Yes, v pillow, was thinking about that the other day. I like to sleep on my right side, but that's the side that the op is taking place on, can't imagine sleeping on my back, and the drain will also need to go somewhere. I think I'll prob kick my OH into the spare room for a week or so, he's a bit of a clumsy sleeper with arms that flail about!

Claire, did they say how long your recovery would take after the op?

I'm scared about the operation, but I also want it all out of me. It scares me that it's still inside doing god knows what. Sissy x
familytree
Member

Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

Hang on in there Claire! We are warriors remember..( when we aren't emotional wrecks that us!) Lol x
Cs66
Member

Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

Just ordered a pillow. Thanks for the advice Amanda.
Last day at work today. V emotional. Trying to look forward now and getting over this f*****g thing! Claire xxx
PeggyCat
Community Champion

Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

I third the V-pillow recommendation.

 

Know what you mean Francine about appreciating the simple things but getting cross with people who moan about trivia. I'm doing a bit of part-time work from home this week and going through my emails for the first time in a while and the same difficult people are being difficult about issues that really don't matter. And the sad thing is I once stressed about these things too. If I am going to learn anything from this experience it's to put such nonsense to one side in the future. Do hope I remember this in six months time!

 

Hope everyone has a nice evening. xx

Fuffs123
Member

Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

Love my V Pillow, got it off Amazon. Just make sure you order two covers for it, one on one off. Just had zap no 5, 20 to go. Just starting to feel some soreness on the boob, so expect I'll be a lobster by no 25! Treated myself to a teacake in the WRVS cafe today and really enjoyed it, small pleasures seem to mean so much to me now. Having BC has made me appreciate these sort of things so much more. Woman in front of me was moaning they'd run out of bread so she couldn't have any toast. Could have whacked her hard across the back of the knees (worked well with my daughter, lol) The staff are all volunteers and if not being able to have a slice of toast is all she's got to worry about, she's very lucky. I seem to be very emotional at the moment too, could cry at the drop of a hat, sad animal stories a real sobber. Also, some music, especially ones that remind me of my youth, rather a long time ago! Sending all you ladies lots of hugs (and Barry of course!) I read all the posts and feel so much for those of you finding things difficult. Lots of love and caring on this thread, love to meet up with you all, bet we would have a great time. Xx Francine
delly
Member

Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

Yeh Bazza -  thanks. Not a hobby I need - it's a job. Get some purpose and structure back into my life.

 

Yeh Lorna - very wise words from you. I don't have enough strength these days to be doing with nasty people. Does me good to have a loud rant - thankfully I live in a small detached house so can shout as loud, or sing as loud as I want without disrupting anyone.

Temporary visitor - let's call it an unwanted SQUATTING ROACH. What are you like with "ugly duckling" - crikey that's going back. You and I are of a similar age me thinks 56/57. I bet you were glad to finish your rads. Quite a loooong slog isn't it. But you keep in touch with your radiotherapy post mates - the SOUP club !! or is it the SLOW COOKER club - hee!

I  feel lucky not to have needed Radio or chemo. Howare  you doing otherwise on the home front?? You coping okay on your own?  I responded to a new thread that Dawn recently posted about "Dating" probs when you've had a mast - when do you tell someone you've lost a boob??  Dawn had also had recon. Anyway, I put her in touch with Nettles who'd met a guy back in March, they'd fallen in love and he didn't have a prob at all. I came across your post about you having left your rather waste of a space OH when I was trying to find Nettles post. I'm really sorry you had to go through all of that on top of your cancer as well. That must have been extremely tough and an extra drain when you needed to be at your strongest.

Take care flower

Love to all

Delly xx 

Sarahd-1
Member

Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

Hi Delly I am on FECT regime for chemo and glad to say I am half way through. Ihave had 3 FEC and I havent found it as bad as I thought it would be. I am due to have the T part of the treatment and I have been told it can be harsh I think it all depends on the person. I think what I have found out Barry that having a lot of painkillers and that it doesnt affect you until day 4! So I dont feel as prepared as last time. Hope today Ange. How did you get on today Jill? Keep being yourself Delly and im the same as Amanda I think ive got more emotional since I have got older and even more so with this bleeping illness! xxxxxxxxxxxxx
A.Faed
Member

Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

Delly, I found I have generally got more emotional as I have got older, and things on TV are often the cause! (I don't watch soaps, though...they seem so depressing!) When relatives let you down or hurt you, it is especially painful. 😔

 

I just had a thought, especially for Claire and Sissy and anyone else just about to have surgery; I found a v-pillow (aka an orthopaedic pillow) very useful after my op, I usually prefer to go to sleep on either side, not my back or tummy....but side sleeping may be a pit uncomfortable for a while. I found the v-pillow very useful when trying to adopt a suitable sleeping position and for naps on the sofa! Mine has been ditched for now, but will no doubt be pressed into service again next month! 😉 You can get them in lots of places, I got mine in the Range but Argos have them and of course Amazon.

 

Going into Canterbury for a bit of Christmas shopping tomorrow....might be temped by a naughty milkshake from Ed's diner but get a healthier lunch in Eat first!

 

Amanda x

familytree
Member

Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

Hi Delly..I'm done and dusted with rads, finished in August and on a phased return to work now. Glad I didn't just jump in because I do get tired still. Yes you're right 're temporary visitor. Just got to get used to unwanted guests! I've always been emotional too. Cry at adverts and even ' The ugly duckling' used to have me sobbing ;). Some strange folk out there, stranger than me! You have to just let it go else their stupidity and lack of empathy could have you seething. Think we have enough to deal with besides fools! X
bazza7676
Member

Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

Haha Delly, it's because I'm quickly posting from work. She's not locked up at all, she actually went down the road to find a birthday card for someone and then to the docs. So doing a lot better than before.

 

Bless you though with regards to tears, you might need a hobby rather than watching tv x

delly
Member

Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

Bazza - I quite envious of your briefest posts possible. Hope your dearly beloved Nikki is doing okay as she's not popped on for a while. You haven't got her locked up somewhere have you ?!

Tina - thanks for that, I appreciate it. I get very emotional since the C. I have occasional serious rants (to myself at the top of my voice - usually to and about my nasty cousin who pointed a finger of blame at ME for what my brother did. Yeh, I know. I don't/cannot understand people like her either. Obviously felt some weird form of justification - didn't even know him. I wouldn't have minded so much if she'd apologised, but she's always had a prob with admitting being wrong. Doesn't have the slightest understanding about cancer and it's after effects either - ignorant. Needless to say, I don't have anything to do with her any more, and I'm a bit short on family so it saddens me. Maybe she'll come to her senses one day, but it may be too late  I'm shutting up now cause it makes me feel very bitter and that's not healthy). Back to the emotional - I find I have quiet tears rolling down at some point most days just watching tv.  Anything to do with death of a family member, I was wracked at Deidre's death on Corrie + before in real life,  the flippin donkey charity adverts, ANYthing to do with abused children and animals, that's it - I'm off.  The passionate (not talking sexual passion - unfortunately !!)  has always been there tho. I express it more. Think I'm just going bonkers really.

 

Sarah - Hi to you. What's the T part of your treatment?

Amanda - I think I've now thoroughly .grasped your tip about opening up two of the same pages to be able to refer to the different posts as you're sending a reply. Thanks again for that and nice to know I'm not the computer numpty I thought I was. Good to learn something new that makes life easier - however small

 

Lorna - I'm sure everyone on here ALL know exactly what your saying. But - you do still have a lot of control. It's just that an unwanted visitor has taken up temporary residence and needs shifting out before they get too comfey. BUT, your never quite sure if or when they're gonna turn up again to annoy you. I've just been doing some stalking detective work on you cos I didn't know your background with BC. Got that your going through radio, that's a very amusing chummy radiotherapy thread. How's it going? You got many left to go ? 

 

Gonna leave you to peace again now.

Lotsa love Delly xx 

bazza7676
Member

Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

FEC is over with Sarah 🙂 . What have you learned about T? x

Sarahd-1
Member

Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

Lorna that makes a lot of sense and on top of what we are all feeling about BC! Those feeling add to what we are going through. Lots of love xxxxxxx
Sarahd-1
Member

Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

Hi ladies hope you are all ok today. Ange sending you big hugs for today. Im off for some reflexology to calm my nerves before the T part of my treatment next week. Xxxxxx
familytree
Member

Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

A very candid post Delly and written in a lively way...keep them coming x I had a realisation last night in bed. I've been trying to put my finger on what's wrong with me ( besides having BC and all it includes) and I realised I no longer feel like I know my body! It's let me down or I've let it down and it's left me feeling like I dont know myself any more or rather am no longer sure of anything so feel vulnerable. It's hard to explain but I guess it means I'm not in control of what my body does from now on and I'm not going to live for ever....someone forgot to tell me that! 😉 anyway not trying to bring you down, just wanted to share and see if anyone had a clue what I'm on about! Lol Lorna x
Tandy 4
Community Champion

Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

Delly....... 👍🏼😚 bless you, your lovely post brought a smile and a tear to my face, please continue with your 'rambling posts'....... Which they're not by the way! 

I find catching up with all the posts tricky but take a lot of love and support from you all even if I don't reply to each one. 

So, wishing you all a positive, happy day xxx Tina

delly
Member

Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

Morning everyone

Morning Bazza - hope you didn't mind my message, I have a terribly naughty sense of humour  sometimes !

Ange - good luck with your treatment today - kick that C in the proverbials !

Claire - if I'm not back on this week (I'm not very regular in my annoying you all)  good luck and loving thoughts are being sent to pop in your pocket for Thursday. You'll be glad to get it done and out of the way. And yeh, what better birthday present could you have than getting rid of the nasty BLEEEEP.

Jill, hope the works not proving too taxing,  It's great that you're easing back in gradually. Think I remember you said somewhere you were in a caring profession, but I'm trying to think of what you do if you're currently sitting behind a desk. What do you do ?

 

Hi to everyone else I've not mentioned - hope you're all ok.  This is a very fast thread with zillions of you - can't keep up with yers. I've been up all night on various parts of this forum. I know - mad innit, but that's how  s l o w l y  I type !   At the moment I feel pretty okay, physically AND  mentally which is great for me to be able to say cos it doesn't happen very often. Could do with putting my finger on exactly what it is and bottling it to take everyday. But I don't know what it is or why, so I'm savouring it whilst it's here  Just need more of these ups and get myself moving forwards again instead of the horrible chronic inertia/slump I've not been able to lever myself out of for ages .  Even my cat's suffering with depression - bless her.  Need to get myself a job, income and a good partner, not necessarily in that order.  I have too much time on my hands which can be very destructive, plus I can't afford it,   and not enough company - which is  desperately destructive

 

This forum helps, you're lovely ( Ohhh yes you are - that's panto talk) and reading about what some of you are having to go through is horribly upsettingto me  but at the same time very grounding sometimes.  Had a good chat last night with one of the "girls" on another thread - we're doing some brainstorming about different work opportunities.  I've lost a lot of years due to this blasted disease and it's mental effects on me  and I've either got to grab hard at the delicate goolies of what working time I have left at 56 which is no easy task when your directionless and the country's overrun with unemployment.  Or go the way of my dear bruv and believe me, I've been down there to where he was a number of times.  Something keeps me holding on even if it's merely and literally by the fingernails.. What I DO know is that  I'm full of anger from cancer and how it's affected me,  and I'm still full of pain from grief of lost loved ones . So if I ramble on, it's either because I'm in a mess,  or I'm being particularly passionate about something.  Thanks for being patient with me. And . . . if I can keep myself off my ar**e, er backside long enough, I need to go and get myself some counselling   or a job - preferably both. Plus I need to start loving and respecting  MYSELF again.  I have a huge heart and a huge compassion for people, plus a terribly mischievous sense of humour when I'm not down in the depths. It needs to be put to use somehow.

 

Thanks  for listening luvvies,

Lorra love Delly xx   

 

Ps. Another of mynow  famous long rambling posts - but I can use it to remind me xx

 

bazza7676
Member

Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

Delly I don't think I'd ever post pictures like that on FB! No probing, this time! x
bazza7676
Member

Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

Have fun at work today Jill. Don't over do it! x
Jill1998
Community Champion

Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

Glad you are back getting some satisfaction and feeling appreciated in your job SB,if not at home.In general don't think most men are very good on the old emotional support front,better with the practical things that need doing .Had this conversation with many women on the site ,so anyone not quite getting the support they feel they should from OH please don't feel unusual.
Jill1998
Community Champion

Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

Hi ho ,hi ho it's off to work I go....but I get to come home after lunch so it's not that bad!!Just sit at desk and try to look like I am vaguely "with it"....yeh I can do that(I think)....
Jill1998
Community Champion

Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

Good luck Ange one less after today one step nearer the finish line.
Jobey68
Member

Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

Claire just one step at a time love, I know it's bloody frightening but just try and focus on the waking up after your op knowing its gone, it's a great feeling! The morning of my op I was torn between feeling elated and traumatised , I couldn't quite work out which way to go, hubby was like an excited puppy as he had the "lets go and get this **bleep** out of you" attitude! I think I was on auto pilot and just went through all the motions without really acknowledging what was happening, all I kept saying was I don't want to wake up feeling sick! 

We are all with you hun 😊 Xx 

 

delly
Member

Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

Ps. Thanks for your kind acknowledgement Lorna ref my dear bruv xx
delly
Member

Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

Bazza - to put an amusing, mischievous note on your very serious state - I think Amanda was wanting to see a photogragh of your delicate regions on facebook, judging from her somewhat (pardon the pun !) PROBING questions !!!!!  I know - in the words of Dick Emery - "Oh, I am awful" !!   Hope you all take it in the jest it was meant and don't ban me from here !! Hee  xx  

shazza45
Member

Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

Good luck for tomorrow Ange xx
Well done for being brave Bazza and getting checked out! Thinking if you too this week Claire. Sending hugs to all xxx
bazza7676
Member

Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

No examination Ange. Just gonna have a blood test and possible colonoscopy depending on results and if I bleed again x
delly
Member

Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

Cor blimey JenJen,

Just picked up on an older post of yours where you're photographing things you like to eat for your brother's caring rota. Poor bloke - talk about "nightmare patient" !! Ha. I'd have told you to like it or STAAAARVE !! Hope you're doing well tho

Delly xx 

PeggyCat
Community Champion

Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

Good luck tomorrow Ange. x

A.Faed
Member

Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

Oh dear Barry, annoying not get a proper answer, to ask an eye wateringly personal question; did the GP examine you down there? Did they take blood or will you need to go back for that?

 

We really need to win those Euro millions for you Jill, so you can retire! It's not wonder you're finding it hard to get back into the swing of things, cancer really does change everything!

 

And yes, I've been quite hurt by my siblings indifference, but in the end, I've just got to plod on and not dwell on their inability to communicate.

 

Amanda x

familytree
Member

Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

Bless you delly and your brother x I'm all for talking, honesty. People worry they are not normal with their thoughts or troubles but there is no such thing as normal....the sooner we open up the sooner people would feel better about themselves. X Lorna x
MadAnge
Member

Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

Glad you went Barry :). Glad all is good Spongebob xx good luck tomorrow Jill. On the subject of people saying things, my mum said to me on Sunday that she couldn't u sweat and why I wasn't working while having chemo as she knows someone who did. So much for understanding!!! My OH us doing all the practical things like taking me to appointments and stuff but on the emotional side no support whatsoever!! Not looking forward to chemo 2 tomorrow but it has to be done xx
Sissylw1980
Member

Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

Hello all, Claire, will be thinking about you this week, fingers crossed for you on Thursday.

I've gone back to work, first shift back in 4 weeks, not out on patrol, but it's nice to be back with my team and thinking about other things. My op is still 2.5 weeks away so I'm trying not to think about it until nearer the time. Though I have got an appointment with the bcn on Thursday to chat about bras and to measure me for a temporary prosthetic

What website is the anastasia article on? Sissy X
delly
Member

Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

Bazza - that's good for the time being then.

Claire - 49's a good year. 

Yeh Amanda and Jill - peoples reactions can be very upsetting. My brother never even sent me a card or phoned me to say "Oh s**t Adele, sorry to hear what you're having to go through". I didn't understand it cos we used to be very close in our younger years and had very loving parents. BUT neither did he talk about his own probs even when probed - lost him to suicide 2 years ago which said a lot - horribly tragically sad and a huge massive shock.  I just wished he'd communicated - I may (?) have been able to do something. I'd have jumped in the car whatever time of the day/morning had I known what state he was in.  What is it with people and communication - get it out is what I say, no matter how awkward. You tell your brother/sister about my experience - use it as an example to them. I would have appreciated some slight acknowledgement from him but he obviously had bigger, worse stuff going on. He's at peace now.

Communication is the only means we have to make it known how we're feeling, thinking and LOVE/CARE  xxx    

spongebob52
Member

Re: Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

Hi Jill know what you mean half my friends absolutely fantastic other half can't face talking to me, one Dr suggested if I'd just had seven months off should be refreshed, just told her I'd had breast cancer and then. It was a different story, I am sure it will make me a better nurse! Just be honest,! when it comes to OH absolute waste of time , never once asked how I was but, convinced my family he was a gem. .However I'll get there and continue to be Mum wife and daughter oh and very good neonatal nurse, 😆