Glad to see you back Delly. Thanks for all your support.
A friens of mine sent me this link to this clip. The lady is a close friend of hers. I cried watching it, but what an inspiring lady. Thought others might want to see it so here is the link.
I had a call from the hospital yesterday. They still haven't had the results of my third tumour so have cancelled today's appointment and will rearrange for next week. Still in limbo. Chemo or more surgery next I wish I knew.
I feel a bit stronger now after hitting rock bottom on Tuesday. Tthanks again everyone for your support.
amanda and Sissy I hope you are ok.
Tina- I am thinking of you
to all you other lovely people have a good day.
Hugs claire xxxxxx
P.S I like the comment in the clip about putting the F into the future and the C into the past. I will try to think of it like that!
Fufs - you're praise is too kind (Awwww !) and I know exactly what you mean about "weird" feelings / sensitivities / coincidences - makes you feel like they're messages, but "weird" is the word. Had a load of 'em the last couple of days having made it to my X walking group friend's husband's funeral + the next day as well. Felt she needed a treat rather than flowers as she doesn't drive (hubby did) so took her out for the day to Liverpool. because we're both passionate about art, sculpture, architecture. (Like M/C, Liverpool's a fantastic place for culture - wasn't voted cultural city in 2003 ? for nothing) Spent a really special day together that did both of us good - feasting our eyes and spirit on beautiful sights - it was so uplifting. Hadn't seen her for 2 yrs so did a lot of talking, laughing. I'm determined to keep in better touch now I'm feeling better mentally a) because I'm concerned and careabout her and b) because we enjoyed each others co. and our shared passions/ interests. I intend for us to do it again in a couple of months.. x
Claire - we can't all be positive all the time and we all need some support from somebody. . I was a very strong, motivated woman - kept a brave face (before BC). But then people often expect to see/presume you to be the same and . . . . . what you're going through ISN'T the same. I think you need to be more open about it. Find someone you can allow yourself to "crash" /open up in front of outside of your family ?? besides us here of course .Plus, human contact in itself is a great healer - I'd wrap my arms round you, not say anything but just let you have a darn good sob sweetie. I can understand some of it with you Mothers - it's protective. x
Tina - what's CLAN ? - Whatever it is, You went there searching for someone to connect/relate with you and to, who'd been through similar. And you did. Praps because you're not allowing yourself to do with your normal usual everyday family people at home, friends and work As horrible as this disease is, and as with other massive trauma's, it does give us other "strengths"; in that it does make us more empathetic compassionate people, as with your brainscan lady with you. She was your "crash with" person. I've caught up with your results now and also, yeh not so nice on the jobfront phonecall from your boss. But . . . soooo lovely your son's to be home to give you one of those very much needed special hugs. x
Sissy - seromas. Yeh, I had to have 2 drained on 1st and one on 2nd. Had been advised the possibility of by BCN and given ward no. to phone and arrange to go in to see the ward Dr to have it aspirated by a hypodermic.Swellings the size of tennis balls underarm area and one front of chest. They do need to be sorted asap otherwise they can hinder the healing.(Yes SOME of the fluid can be re-absorbed by the bod) x
Julie M - awwwww, you're getting as doolally as me ref your tab but yeh, you feeling better must have made you think x
Listen, I've still got 2 1/2 pagesof posts to read yet. I don't want to rabbit on any more now - faaarr toooo much for you all. Plus I can barely keep my eyes open and still have gyppy tum.
Lotsa love Doolallydoodah xxx
They had some in there last Christmas Amanda, I will be on a mission to buy as many chocolate covered sprouts as possible this year! 😜👣🎄
Hope you're ok Tina, look forward to hearing from you in the next few days!
They have been spying on the Forum clearly or where else would they have gotten the idea from!! Think you need to go and sort them out Jill 😜
Been thinking of you today Tina, hope op is all over for you and you manage to sleep tonight 😉 xxx
Hi Tina, hoping you didn't have to wait around all day and your op is all over and you are feeling ok lovely Xx jo
Ah, now I see Jen, the eagle....I had a similar effect when taking codiene! Having the eagle land quickly becomes an obsession, other than drinking a lot of water, I ate lots of grapes and satsumas (avoid bananas, but they're good for diarrhea though) and fresh figs are nice, too.
Jen, I loved the way you used "eagle" as a verb earlier on. Hope it shows up soon. It is the number one obsession of my chemo nurse. Maybe chocolate sprouts will help. x
I've just started getting pop up ads about these chocolate sprouts. It's scary that advertisers obviously know that I frequent a site where we have all been discussing this and are targeting me!
Gosh Ange, you've already got a full time job with a toddler, let alone all the treatment! I hope Macmillan can help you, what about sickness pay from the the government? I hope the chest port helps things along a bit....what you have to go through!
Jen, what is doing an 'eagle'? Got a whole new lot of stuff to learn before I start chemo but quite a long time to do it!
Sissy, anger and and a good sprinkling of bitterness go hand in hand with this awful disease but I hope you aren't quite so royally p***ed off today! My hot water bottle is stating to grow already. BCN said not to worry unless it becomes tight or uncomfortable, did you say your seeing her tomorrow?
Love to everyone,
Oh wow, that was quick Barry, thanks so much for that! When will Nikki's chemo be done? Is she going to have radiotherapy straight after? It's seems to be a long haul ahead!
I've been so lucky with work, they all know and I was able to come and go as i please and still could if I felt I couldn't cope, I really think this made all the difference to me wanting to be there, I felt no pressure, was getting full pay regardless if I was there or not and was incredibly well looked after during all this crap and beyond, that's not to say I wouldn't walk away without a backward glance if I win the lottery tonight though!! 😜
Keep playing Jill, someone's got to win! I think the bl**dy C really knocks your confidence for some reason. I thought I was quite strong until all this! And concentration....that's left without giving a forwarding address! I find making decisions difficult too, so I just don't know how you're managing to cope with a high stress job, I really don't! I hope you're not back full time already?
You'll be ok Tina, drains are a nuisance but not much more than that really, so long as the district nurse bothered to come out! I think I'd say be prepared to be much more tired than the first time, and yes, you're body must think it's under some kind of attack, so be kind to yourself and rest and eat well when you're back home.
We just have to keep plodding on, don't we? We are all going to have a horrible roller coaster ride for some time to come, both emotional and physical. We know where to come when it all gets a bit too much "wanting to talk to people who understand"
District nurse failed to call today, no one could help as the entire area in terms of medical assistance, has training on a Wednesday afternoon! So got in touch with BCN and went down to Kent & Canterbury hospital and she removed the drain and all the dressings! So Sissy, I'll be get the mini hot water bottle soon, too!
Claire, I don't really worry about surgery at all, I was desperate to get it done so was glad to got back. I did only have WLE and sentinel node and it was mid September, so I've been fully recovered from that a while. Just steel yourself and concentrate and the fact that you'll be getting the bigger taken out!
Jill, how is work these days...how much are you doing?
Call from BCN earlier today and she said I will be having chemo, end of January. Is there some sort of Acme List going around, Barry, did you have a copy?
Love to everyone,
Im doing OK thanks Jill, I am a bit tired and haven't left the house despite plans to go out for a walk every day but its cold outside and its warm in here 🙂 , other than that I feel not too bad, have managed to do a bit of housework today. Had a bad nights sleep last night so trying to stay awake today (and managed up to now) so that I can sleep tonight fingers crossed. Last day of steroids and anti nausea drugs so will see how I fair tomorrow when they stop,
Trying to find something new to learn today on the internet as hubby is going to call later and I want to have more to say than oh I sat on the sofa and watched Rizolli and Isles all day..
hope you are well ? 🙂
Hi all, thanks for all your good wishes for tomorrow...... I really am dreading it and feel sick with it all. Drains, bottles, swishing, overflowing OMG!! 😧 Just want it over with! Hope I'm not kept waiting all day. Xxx My post op scar area is hurting this past two days..... As if my body is saying, get ready for the pain ride again good girl! Oh Lordy how much Effin more can I take!?....... Tina
Hi Amanda and Sissy, looks as if we will be chemo buddies. If last results on fridaycome back er positive I will start after christmas too. Like you Sissy a little bit of normality through Christmas would be lovely. But knowing my luck it will be chemo first. I have come to the point where all I expect is bad news as that's all I've had so far!
i have found L the BCN really helpful. She was the only person yesterday who made me feel better and less terrified. apparent,y I have" very active" breasts which is why it makes senso to get rid of both. I must say I am dreading going back for more. How did you psych yourself up for that Amanda?
I hope everyone has had a good day today. We are all in this together.
good luck tomorrow Tina.
Well I am expecting or should I say hoping, that they will be able to tell me a bit more about the type of cancer I have because at first it seemed to be ductal but behaved more like lobular cancer, how much more (hopefully none!) they found in the breast and how many more (again, hopefully none!) nodes were involved.
The numbness is weird, isn't it?! Still no district nurse yet, my bottle will be overflowing soon, but I have a feeling they might turn up without a spare bottle anyway!
I feel the same about Christmas, and it's just as well that I will be between treatments because all the family are coming here this year! I'm going to try very hard to push cancer to the beck of my mind and just enjoy Christmas as much as possible!