Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

[Aura]

Hi ladies Thought is post on here as october thread gone quiet , glad your appointment went well Christine x

[mf]

Good that the massage helped, Christine. Sissy: I had a thick tight cord in armpit. BCN just said to keep doing exercises, which worked eventually.

[tweeks123]

Morning Ladies
well the massage went well yesterday even though had to travel for it after work the lady was nice and asked me did I mind a student watching me ..I said not a problem and it was interesting for me too because she was explaining every move to the student..Its called MDL massage manual lymphatic drainage..for lymphoedema in my breast.at first when she explained what she was going to do on the last visit I thought I cant imagine that gengle massage doing anything..but she proved me wrong its a very light massage working from my lymphs in my nech around my breast n top half she works the lymphs in my groin. And all around my back it took over an hr but did make my boob softer ive got to try do it most days what I can reach and go back in friday (twice a week) for a few weeks then I think they leave it up to me and just give me appointments to keep going back and maybe more course.
As regarding the cording I remember it well it was the worse thing ever the pain was so bad it was worse than the whole operation. .I didnt have any help at all I never seen a breast nurse and the two times I tried to ring was always an answer machine and never got back to me.i used to reach up and touch the door frame at the top every time I went to the bathroom was really painfull to do.. when I developed my frozen shoulder I was sent to a physio at the hospice I told her all about my cording and she said that should never have happend and got so bad if I would have gone to the hospice she could have helped me through that and got me right. So sissy go try to get help with the cording that was one of the worse things ever what happend to me I thought I would never be right again.Xx
Christine x

[delly]

Sissy - Ref Cording.  I don't wish to sound a trouble making, forceful woman BUT . . , from my own experience, if I were you,  I would NOT find that ACCEPTABLE of your BCN to say that to you. "Cording" needs extra different treatment and exercises. It's painful and it's restricting the recovery of your movement/rehabilitation. Do you have another BCN available??  I feel so CROSS and frustrated for all you recently post-oppers because, 8 and 9 yrs ago, I had the most AMAZING 5 days hosp care, surgeon to check, nurses checking/changing dressings, physios coming round day 3 post op to actually show and take us through the exercises, not just being given a leaflet with them on and expected to just get on with it and leave you to DIY !!!. What's THAT all about?? Plus - I had a tel no to call for immediate access to above services should there be a prob - be it seroma, cording, wound probs. It all helps speed up YOUR recovery and healing.  

Someone please tell me what on EARTH is going on ? Is this all down to lack of funding ?  Jeez. Got me all revved up now. Have to stop myself becoming politically offensive by coming out with the likes of : "For a start - Stop these NHS "Tourists" who've never paid a penny into our TAX and NI scheme, which was set up to care for our own and they' re costing "US"  £m's in services that are needed for "US". I'm not racially prejudiced, but I hate this country being taken advantage of and the fact that the government is "allowing" it to be and just GIVING IT AWAY.  I'm pretty sure that if David Camerons wife had breast cancer to deal with - she wouldn't be treated in an NHS hosp!!  It'd be the absolute BEST in  PRIVATE, because they'd be aware that the current NHS treatments are more and more "lacking" from 8-9 yrs ago. Much due to their (government) giving too much away to outside. We're a TINY country, that's ALWAYS been self sufficient for 100's of years. WE haven't been putting ourselves onto and expecting other countries to come to our aid, HAVE WE?!!. I'm charitable, but I'm all for helping those needy countries in their OWN countries - to get them set up better (in their OWN countries).

BC is absolutely RIFE now- we're all in agreemnt there aren't we. Breaks my heart with all of you on here - honestly.  You only have to see how many of us there are.  Statistics from my own time have gone from 1 in 9  to now 1 in 8  that's a frighteningly massive increase in a mere 8 years !! Yes, diagnosis and operative techniques have improved and yes - we're still way behind America but, of course their medical services are all privately funded. I don't know how the underprivaleged go on over there? But OUR treatment services have declined, as you are proof of - yet we're still paying in to THAT care system, but now receiving a reduced care system.

Do you think the answer is for us to put a bit extra into our individual LOCAL hospital services ?? If I felt I could keep this current strength that YOU have re-ignited in me - I'd campaign (I'd also get off my bum to get my local council to fix my road outside, cos loads of my neighbours are also complaining about it- Grrrrr flippin Councils !!)

Oooooh -errr- Delly's gone off on a rant. VOTE for MEEE is what I say !! (because I need the extra ££'s to maintain the helicopter at least, you know. I'll keep the luxury yacht a secret for the time being until I've come into power !!)

Still not caught up!!  Hahaha! - you'll soon get sick of me saying that, if you haven't already!! It's a joke. 

Lotsa love to everyone

Bonkers xxx

[delly]

Nikki - I think you should hire Bazza out (another gem like Jobeys hubby)  to give his expert "cording" treatments. You'd have to trust him with other womens "boob" areas. But, from the sounds of him and you, he only has eyes (and hands !!) for YOU anyway, so could therefore be trusted xx.  Brill Bazza on 10 K's for next year. I'd signed up for a BCC sponsored walk last May, but was still v.tender from first recon op - hadn't factored that in !!. Hopefully next May - Chatsworth estate one of my favourite walks in Derbyshire. Was looking forward to meeting other fellow BC women and had loads of contacts/willing sponsors  and now also have those two famous radio celebs praps ?? + my newly regained charm, guile, seductive May West or M & S sexy advert voice.  I even have the same name as a current famous pop star (Adele) who I KNOW I can sing better than, and know I could earn the same big bucks as - just that other people don't yet know it !! Need to sign up for 'X' Factor really, earn HER big bucks and donate it all to BCC and Cancer Research - and then.- "Delly's your Aunty" !! (  That's  oppo to "Bobs your Uncle" ??  yes/no. . . oh I give up with you lot. ) 

Hey Francine/Fuffs - when you say "Gorgeous George", are you by any chance talking George Clooney ? cos if so, we're on the same track cos that's what I've always called him too  - OOMPH !! No, I'm not coming over all lusty,  "hot flushy" maybe ! (haha).  Am just admiring a good looking fella and bod ( stop it!) What about the guy who was advertising last years M & S swimming trunks and underwear?? - think his name is David Gant or something like that - PHEW-EE !!  Listen,  I'm from an artyfarty background so have the excuse to admire the human form with an artistic admiration, particularly when it's in good shape - like Bazza's !! Go on Bazza, give us a quick "flex" of your biceps and pecs.  I'd better go NOW before I embarrass myself or cause offence.

Blush blush Delly xxx    My apols for somewhat dominating the nightshift posts - Don't know WHAT you've all been putting in my tea, but it's bl**dy good stuff !! Much to all your annoyance x   

[Jill1998]

Keep on,keeping on.No other choice....Yes people don't really know what to say or know how to help.Sometimes they get it just right like your daughter Amanda, sometimes they get it really wrong .Before I had this experience I guess I won't have known what to do or how to help either.

[A.Faed]

Oh Tina, you poor thing! The feelings you describe do sound a lot like severe anxiety, all the worry and second guessing will have quite an effect on your body. We all know the 'butterflies' feeling before taking an important test or an interview....you are now bearing constant worry about something that is some serious s**t happening to you; so no wonder you are feeling it physically as well! Hubby was probably worried and felt helpless, men can be a bit hopeless communicating sometimes, I expect he was upset, not annoyed.

I find when I'm having a whinge about the **bleep**storm coming down the line, that my family say things like "well you've got to give it a try" and things like that, I think sometimes they start to panic that I will refuse more treatment and give up! All you want is a hug sometimes....when I was having my 'evening blub' last night, my youngest daughter (20) just hugged me, she didn't say hardly anything, just gave me a big huddle and it was just the right response, I felt no pressure.

BCN said that she was going to get the surgeon to book some scans for me, in readiness for oncologist I think, and I know that waiting for the results from that will freak me out, but you just have to be persistent and plod on even when you feel really negative. 

Amanda x

[delly]

Thanks girlies, Amanda, Jilly, Peggycat for your Chloe cuddles. I think she's gonna be ok, just needs an extra boost from the "experts" to get her in track again.

Tweeks - Yeh, I didn't tolerate Tamoxifen so think that's why the onc team had me back in once a year checks for 5 yrs.

What's the massage course you're doing - are you training in it??  If so book me in as your first. I trained in Swedish massage by a Physio back in 1977 - 79 as part of a City and Guilds Beauty Therapy course. Naa,beauty didn't suit me, stuck it for 4 1/2 yrs (no disrespect to other BT's). But the massage led me to pursue Physiotherapy training because I loved it so much, rather than waxings, manicures, peds, make up, eyebrow plucking etc.etc. Didn't have the grades tho' (very tough on and strict about), hence I went into "Feet" instead as 2nd choice. Ironical thing is Chiropodist/Podiatrist (as they're now called) have to be trained and certified in giving local anaesthetic injections for Toenail operations etc., which carry huge risk and responsibility of/for, whereas Physio treatments don't involve any such "invasive" risks with needles, anaesthetic, scalpels, sharp instruments etc. yet require higher grades for entry. Never understood it but there you go. Just thought I'd give a l'il bit of education to anyone who's never had to see a Podiatrist (Chiropodist). A very underestimated profession, a lot more to treating feet than the average person thinks. From treating corns and calluses to spotting potential melanomas on the legs and feet to recognising potential serious leg circulation probs before they develop and cause gangrene in the toes, helping correct leg joint probs - lovely stuff !! Hee  xx      

[Nikki3588]

I give up - stupid phone!! Lol

[Nikki3588]

Sorry Delly, blooming predictive text - that Shouldham said, hope Chloe is soon on the mend! 🙂

[Nikki3588]

Sissy - I had cording too and like Delly, I was seen by a physio. I was given extra exercises and Barry was shown a massage / stretching technique to perform on my arm and armpit to relieve the cording. May be worth pushing for a physio referral from your surgeon / BCN.

Claire - Good luck tomorrow. Will be thinking of you.

Tina - Glad you're coping ok with the drain. Hope the downs become less frequent and you are soon feeling more upbeat.

Francine - well done going back to rads. And such a lovely idea asking for donations rather than gifts this Christmas.

Amanda - Hope you're doing OK and your seroma disappears soon.

Delly - Hope Choose is soon on the mend.

Hope everyone else is OK. Hugs to all that need them xx

[Jill1998]

Ps had many hysterical meltdowns ,most not triggered by anything in particular and often in embarrassing public places....

[Jill1998]

Tina, I had palpitations so bad I got sent for and ECG,was anxiety nothing abnormal found .

[Jill1998]

Sissy my cording also disappeared after week or so of exercises .

[Jobey68]

Hi Tina, the juddering in your chest you describe I remember all too well. I honestly thought my own body was going to suffocate me as I could barely breath with the anxiety raging through me! I didn't have to deal with anything compared to you love but I totally understand the emotions you are going through but once you know your full results and treatment plan you will start to feel some control coming back I promise! Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and some how you find yourself coming out the other side, lots of love to you xx Jo 

[Sissylw1980]

I mentioned the cording to my BCN today when booking my next seroma drain appointment, she just said to carry on with the exercises I've been given and that it should disappear in a week or so. It is uncomfortable though. Is your cat any better Delly?

I've also been thinking about fund raising for BC. My husband ran the London marathon this year and we have to raise money for it so we organised a race night and raffle at our local pub, we raised a good amount of money. Am thinking of doing something similar and splitting the money raised between BCC and the Willow Foundation. It will be nice to give something back. Sissy xx

[Jobey68]

Lol Thanks for clearing that up Delly! 😉

[delly]

Sissy - 'ello flower. You're feeling better with just having a "softie"? That's great - all helps at the mo'. But you wait till you get properly fitted up with a proper prosthesis and a nice bra - you'll feel like a million dollars. Honest. We'll be seeing you on the catwalk as a model for the BCC fashion show and in the Vita mag !!! Ref. your cording - you need to get extra physio help with it asap. It's easily remedied by them and extra exercises they'll give you for it. Hopefully, if you contact your BCN she will sort this for you (should do but guess it depends on what services are readily available to you). Just needs some special stretching by them and yourself. Plus you'll feel much better when your tennis ball (seroma) has been drained.It may happen a few times till it settles down to your body absorbing any extra fluid.  

Much of what you're having is disconcerting and worrying to you 'cos it's all unknown to you and a requires extra appointments/ visits to sort out but it's easily remedied. Trust me, I had cording and 2 seromas drained. You're doing fantastically well.  WhoooHoooo xx

[Tandy 4]

Hi all..... Glad to be home....... But having many ups and downs (more downs if I'm honest!?) knew it would be harder this time with movement and exercises but I thought mentally I'd be the same? WRONG! I'm coping fine with the drain, the nice ward auxiliary gave me a pretty cotton designer bag to carry it about in! (thank you, you were all right that I was worrying too much!) have appointment for it to be taken out Friday.

Nothing from BCN again today and I was feeling so pissed off and down I couldn't face ringing her!? District nurse rang and then popped up to see me, she was lovely, changed my dressings and said to ring if needed advice.

I broke down big time when hubby was washing my hair for me today. Upset him (and annoyed I think!?) as he didn't want me to be negative. I cried and cried...... Not sure if it was self pity, soreness, frustration or anger at what my body is doing to me!?! 😡 I know it's daft, but I'm still feeling every twinge and ache is connected! I've juddering in my chest which feels as if it goes from my heart, up into my throat finishing as a pounding in my head! Nerves I know....... Hope....... 

Well done to those who are signing up for runs! I'll do something when this is all under control, but run? 

DELLY! You forgot meeeeeeeeee! I need to be on your zapping list please!? 

Claire! All the best for tomorrow Hun, I'll have everything crossed for you!...... Well maybe not my drain tube!?! 

Hugs guys xxx Tina xxx thanks for listening 

[A.Faed]

Hello everyone, hope you're all ok! Good luck tomorrow Claire, it's just relentless, worry, treatment, results...repeat! 

Got 450ml drained from my seroma today, don't know how long it will last. I hope mine and Sissy's does what yours did Jill....I really like the idea of it disappearing overnight! 

How's your kitty, Delly? Hope she's on the mend, they're so precious, it's awful when they are ill!

The FEC-T word was mentioned by BCN today, I guess I won't know for sure until I see the oncologist though!

Amanda x

[Fuffs123]

Hi Delly. I had to have a break because I was admitted to hospital with a nasty throat infection and high temperature. Put on IV antibiotics for 2 days and let out to rest up. Not allowed to have rads until my temp was normal for a week. I nearly didn't go back, had a real wobble, but you lovely lot convinced me to push on. The buggers have put an extra day on too. Sorry had to bare my boobs again today and another 12 times ahead! Joking aside I used to be very self conscious about my big boobs but now I've come to respect the poor things, we've been through a lot together!

[Fuffs123]

Well gorgeous George didn't turn up, sob, but Steve did! He's chubby and balding but at least he's reliable, eh George. They've added an extra day so I still have another 12 to go, I think it's called moving the goalposts when you've already kicked off! Sending hugs to Claire and Sissy and Tina. I've decided to try and raise money for The Lavender Trust, which supports younger women with BC. I've told family and friends not to buy me Xmas presents this year but donate some money to the Trust, whatever they feel comfortable to give.

[PeggyCat]

Thinking of you and your little cat Delly. xx

[Jill1998]

Hope your cat is ok Delly.

[Jill1998]

Always something extra to deal with Sissy isn't there .Had my Seroma drained a couple of times then when I was due to go a third time it was absorbed by my body overnight and never came back again.

[delly]

Jobes - i knew you were only kidding - so was I !! You don't have a "rude" bone in your body. What didn't you understand ?? Told everybody in a previous post you and I had been working on building a special Zapper ray gun to ZAP this gawd awful disease up the BUM. We were lacking in funds and  that YOU had offered to raise extra funds by a sponsored "Jobey Takes Her Top Off" event (- yawn yawn  - we've already seen 'em so many times so put 'em away dear !).

AHHH,  wasn't YOU, it was that FOXY Francine that was the BOOB BARER - she blamed you. No wonder you didn't know what I was talking about !  Well anyway, I told you I'd take care of things now I've got some of my vim and verve back, not to mention my charm and guile. Once I'd dusted of the glittery sequined dress (had a few moth holes but it only added to it's  alluring and luring (!) impact, and I did tell you I'd been on the cover of Vogue last year but none of you believed me did you ?? - mmmmm), I went round all my well known famous contacts (now inc. Terry and Steve from Rad 1) and managed to raise what was needed and MORE besides, withOUT having to take my top off. You see, Francine, you're just an exhibitionist, whereas I'm somewhat more subtle. So it's here, (Zapper gun not my body - cheeky ), ready and waiting for when it's needed be it Claire, Amanda, Sissy, Peggycat, MadAnge, ANYONE I've failed to mention get in touch with me now so I can book you in. Although it has faaaaaaar reaching powers without it, Jobey and me having to be in your actual physical presence. Luscious Lorna wants to come on board too for the BUTT KICKING treatment. So have I corrected the boob (pun on "mistake") and updated you enough now Jobey, are you remembering what we were (me) talking about ??

Anyone else is welcome to come on board, but be warned, we're only taking anyone who either has the same exceptional powers as us, OR is FILTHY RICH and wishing to put their  £££'s to a VERY worthy cause i.e. regular cruises, private jets and my personal DBS business. Oh come on, it means Dellys Buddy Services. With the extra funds I could go from National to INTERnational - GLOBAL. Think I'm getting drunk already on the power of it all.

Think I've now got at least 10 pages to catch up now - it's becoming a standing joke. I zonked out last night after here(10 ish) till 8.30 this morning !! Only woke up then because Chloe, the cake eating Cougar cat, woke me up meowing. Took her into my vet hospital this afternoon, she's staying in to hopefully get her to a more UP state for me to then continue. The lovely lady vet very sensitively and tactfully forewarned me of the worst !! So I'm prepared, BUT. . . I can't help feeling, and Lorna will understand this, after a few days in concentrated care, she's gonna come round. I don't think it's her "time" yet. It's gonna cost a fortune no doubt but, she's worth every penny for the special joy and friendship she has given/ IS ! She has such a gorgeous nature that no matter what's .being done to her - prodding, poking, injections - she STILL  PURRS !!!  awww.  

Anyway, am going back to my missed pages now, so that I and hopefully you can know what I'm talking about  !!?

Francine - Am I right in that you've gone 'back' to rads?? Was that because you were getting very sore so had to have a break from it ? Was it you therefore,  I meant with ref to Aloe gel and Lavendar gel. Not only did I mix you up with Jobey, but also Peggycat !! Soz - there's so many of us on here and I'm still a newbie to you all + well I could give allsorts of other excuses, such as, that the sequined dress and my recent sudden fame have gone to my head . . . . . but don't think you'd fall for it.

Love to everyone for now but be warned,  "I'll be back"  Dellypoos xxx

[Sissylw1980]

I'm not bad, been out wearing my softy over the weekend, it looks better than I thought it would. Have booked to have my seroma drained again this week, which is annoying, am hoping it'll start to slow down, and I've also had some cording appear in my arm pit so I have been a bit more energetic with my exercises! Xx

[Jill1998]

How are you doing Sissy?

[Sissylw1980]

Thinking of you Claire, fingers crossed that tomorrow brings some better news for you!

Jen, how are you getting on? Are you suffering with any SE's?

Tina, how are you recovering after your op? Have you still got your drain? Sissy xx

[bazza7676]

🙂 Thanks Jo!

[Jill1998]

Hope you survived your first day back bring radiated Francine, hope your chauffeur arrived ok!!!

[Jill1998]

Good luck tomorrow Claire with your results ,fingers crossed for a bit of better news for you .

[Jobey68]

Good for you Barry! You can count me in for some sponsor money 💷💰

[bazza7676]

Cheers Claire. Nikki is amazing, just like you all are x

[Cs66]

Well done Barry. I will sponsor you. I have already decided that once I get through this nightmare I will be doing some serious fundraising for Breast cancer care. This forum has really helped me as well as all the info on the website and the publications. I hope Nikki is ok. She sounds one brave lady. I hope I can find the strength to get through chemo. Got no choice really. Claire xxxxx

[Jobey68]

Oh Delly I was only kidding! Just didn't understand what you were saying to me 😜 Xx

[bazza7676]

That's a good start Ruth. I usually do a 5k run during the summer (Great City Race in London). But saw on Breast Cancer Care they were looking for runners, not that I am one! Anyway I'll be running in aid of them.

[PeggyCat]

Well done Barry. I hope you will inspire me to get up off my backside next year - I'll probably go for a more modest 5K though to start with

[bazza7676]

Hi All, It might be too big a job to reply to everyones recent comments. Just hoping things improve for anyone going through it right now best wishes to the ladies who've had recent ops.

I just want to say I've signed up to the Brighton 10K run in April. So be warned if I post a Justgiving link next year!!

[tweeks123]

Hi Delly
yes maybe lots of oncologist check ups due to not taking meds..I had radio therapy but couldnt do with the SE of the tablets so stopped taking them I start my massage course today twice a week .could do without that at thee end of my shift its never ending x
Christine x

[delly]

Oy Jobes - don't be so rude. That sounds great ref your hol. Did you say you'll be there for Xmas? I'd like to get to S Africa myself, it sonds and looks beautiful. and I'd lurrrrrv to do safari sometime. Plus swim with dolphins in the sea, preferably NZ (in my dreams praps) Did it over in Florida but in an artificial man made landscaped aqua park. Have a photo of me in a wetsuit kissing a dolphin on the downstairs loo wall - pride of place.

Tweeks - I had regular yearly monitoring checks for 5 years after with the Onc. Is that not normal everyone

? ? I didn't have rads or chemo and couldn't take the Tamoxifen - maybe that was why?

Tina - I'm sorry loovey, you've not been so good today. I forget that I'm living close to the Manchester metropolis and that things/treatment and after care may be completely different, than in more rural, or smaller hospitals? Good Luck on your making changes, hope you get what you're  asking for and feel more happy with it. Yeah, thats a long journey to see BCN - don't blame you.  

How goes it JenJen, Sissy and Amanda - hope you're all coping and keep exercising you two. Have yet to reach news on your chemo effects Jen, but hope you're managing and it's not too bad.

Mad-Ange - that's tough to have concerns about finances on top, when you're having to go through all this 

Hope every body else is ok too. Still not fully caught up, got to page 8 !!  but my eyes are closing so off to bed. Prob take Chloe to my own vets tomoz, she's still being sick and barely eaten all day. Think she may have to stay in, will see how l'il darlin is int morning.

Nitey Nitey (pyjamas, pyjamas !) Delly xxx

[Jobey68]

Lol Delly what are you on about!? 🤔

[delly]

Yeh Jobes - keep 'em to yourself. Fed up with hearing about 'em  (I'm only jealous !) Poor Gem, more like "Fallen" Angels me thinks !!!! So you're back to it tomorrow then lovey - hope you don't suffer too much aftrewards.

Still haven't caught up - Love to you all tho'

Delly xxx

Ps Jobey - I've finished the Zapper ray gun now - so can you try and find out where all the peoples who need it live? I'll get to work tomorrow whilst your having your treatment and come and visit you later on for a ZAP, that ok? Might try it on my cat too. Have just quickly thrown a tab down her without causing too much distress. x 

[MadAnge]

Thanks Jo xxxx

[Fuffs123]

Thanks Jill. My driver for tomorrow called me today so all back on, which is a relief. Gosh two weeks without baring my boobs to anyone, Delly will be pleased, but now it's back to getting them out 12 more times! Now I know I'm going way for Xmas and will be with both my big sisters for the first time in many years, it's given me something to aim for. My older sister who lives in S Africa virtually brought me up so we're very close. Our maiden name was Angel, so my husband calls us the three Angels! Poor chap is taking some earplugs, can you imagine how much we will all have to catch up on! Xx

[delly]

Ps. Thanks for asking about Chloe the cougar Claire.

She seems a little better today after an anti sickness jab last night, but def not herself. I keep gently pushing the Pilchards - like them myself too. My tum's bit better today, but have barely had anything to eat all week.

Love and xxx's Delly

[delly]

Good Evening all you lovely people

Sorry, I didn't have our request played this morn,after all my notifying yourselves, family and friends! Don't know who that bloke on was, never heard of him. Maybe I'd have been better with Steve Right for a request, but went with Sir Terry because HE was the one who'd played it last Sunday. Anyway, I've got all week to seduce one or t'other of them. However, I hope, like me, you enjoyed our communal "spiritual" gathering. I've had so many people phoning/texting today because I'd warned them 

Claireebee - Your family, cats and dogs are sooooo lucky to have you - a loving devoted wife and Mother (Can I come and lodge, be adopted?) I'm sooooo sorry, as I am for anyone having to go through it. Yeah, we've got that you've had a really, REEEALLY tough week. Unfortunately, it probably wont be the only one either. I'm hoping it'll reduce to the odd wobbly, tough DAY, but please just allow yourself to BE human, and not afraid to  show your weakness because NONE of this is NORMAL, and no one knows unless you speak and communicate how you're feeling..

DO you think you could be more open to your lovely family??  If it's difficult to know where or how to start, maybe you could perhaps show them some of your recent posts from on here. Please don't misunderstand me, I'm not bullying or wanting to seem heavy, But I AM concerned about the factors I mentioned. All so caringly meant, I hope you took it that way (though probably brutal sounding - I don't do BS anymore with all that's happened with me ref "losses").

Am sooo glad your first post was a more "up" spirited mode but can fully understand why you're scared. 

Amanda and Sissy- how goes it? Hope you're both now feeling comfier.

I STILL haven't caught up with all the rest of you's, but I was sending you all Good and  healing wishes this morning.

 Lotsa love to you ALL, Delly xxx 

[Jobey68]

Claire good to hear your having some positive moments in amongst all the anxiety, praying that there are no more surprises for you Xx Jo