Just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand

[bazza7676]

I hope the port is ok Ange. All the best for number 3 tomorrow xx

[Name me]

Hi, sorry but don't know what DCIS is, could you explain. I feel sick with worry as was only told yesterday that it is almost certainly breast cancer but will get final results next week

[Cs66]

Hi Delly. I am ok. Back at work and trying to have a bit of normal life before next round of surgery next Thursday. I feel so ridiculously well since first op that it seems unbelievable I have this potential killer trying to get me! Hopefully they got it all out last time. Left boob is more of a precaution as it has DCIS and right side is lymph clearance. NOT looking forward to next week!

i hope everyone is ok and recovery from surgery , fried boobs  and treatment going well.

Delly give your cat a kiss from me and I hope she is ok. 

Hugs to everyone Claire xxxxxx

[Wendyy]

Francine,

You've had an especially long 'journey' ( hate that word) So the new normal will take some getting used to. I'm almost exactly a year since finishing rads and still not certain what normal is. Although I can highly recommend the BCC Moving Forward course which I've just completed. Really helped me realise that what I'm feeling is perfectly normal (overuse of the word normal, sorry). There wasn't a course in my town but I felt the 50 mile round trip each week was worth it. 

Hope your skin holds up. I was prescribed Flamazine cream for my under boob burn which as very soothing and to bare all as much possible and waft!!! Just remember to cover up when the doorbell rings!! 

Good luck xxx

[Jill1998]

Nearly there Francine.Finishing treatment is certainly a very odd feeling.I felt very emotional and tearful for a while afterwards and a bit lost,when rads finish you have been so used to seeing someone every day in relation to your treatment that you feel a bit "abandoned ".

[Fuffs123]

Morning everyone, sending hugs to you all. Today will be day 22 of my 26 rads and my boob looks like it should belong to someone of another ethnic origin than me! Rather strange brown colour! The sore spot isn't getting any worse thank goodness, hanging it all out seems to be working but is not a pretty site, as I'm an H cup! The nearer I'm getting to the end of my treatment, the weirder I'm feeling about it. It will have been a year of operations, hospital stays and rads and then nothing. Not sure how I'll adjust to 'normal' life again, especially as the post Xmas period always seems rather depressing. At least I have the business to keep me busy, must keep that going well so I can carry on paying the government and reduce the deficit, lol xx

[delly]

Forgot to ask you Amanda, Sissy, Claire. How are you ALL doing. I'm not even going to mention the "E" word - just DO them !!
Dispicable xx

[delly]

Amanda - lovey, you're cheeky you are!! Typing  Speed - No, I started that post this morning !! Awful - -     P-A-I-N-F-U-L-L-Y   S- S- L- O - W !!

Thanks for askin' ref. Chloe,she's not great and I'm not managing these tablets too well with difficult knacked fingers. But the tabs keep making her sick, so  I'm not liking it,  it's catch 22 and prawns, tuna, chicken . . . .  Love to everyone

Yeh, meeee xxx    Maybe that should be meeeoww, mind me fingers Chlo x

[A.Faed]

Happy to hear your back on track Ange, you just want to get one with so it will be over sooner. Hopefully, the rest of the chemo will proceed without any incidents!

Youve had a bust time, Charlie....lots going on but all a means to an end, good luck with the IVF treatment, let's hope they can gather lots of eggs quickly so you're ready for the rest of the treatments, it's going to be 'all go' for you for a while!

Nice to hear from you Delly, you're typing speed must be pretty good already you know, it would takes me ages to write what you do! How is Chloe now?

Amanda x

[Jill1998]

Glad you are back on track Ange.

[delly]

Well helloooooo, I know you've all missed me and been wondering where I am.

Not telling you.

Fuffs- the fact that the Aloe STUNG meant that your skin was "broken" and yes, I was going to say, with it being your underarm with skin on skin, you'd be well to seperate the area, stop it rubbing together,  but some other smart ar** ...er  nice person already came up with that suggestion. Radiotherapy IS a kind of Deeper "burn" than a surface burn, that can seem to take some time after for it to produce its effects - all a bit sci-fi really. So yeh, Aloe's only good for cooling/soothing the skin down, but NOT if the skin's broken, its a different matter. How is it now and what you using ?? Trouble with underarm is that the "moisture" can become an issue AND you can then develop a fungal infection - yes athletes "armpit" - no seriously. What dso you think Dobies itch is - it's the equivalent of Athletes foot in the GROIN !!! numpties ! x

What's up with these BLOKES of yours ??!! Corr lummey.What's the point to all this male pride/machoism? We don't get it with Bazza or Jobey's "GEM" as I call him.

I've got soooothing Eva on in the background - the "Songbird" cd not the latest "Nightbird". Talk about Heeealing. Am gonna buy you all a copy for Crimbo - send your names and bank account no's to me for transfers - not falling for that one are you. Neither the £333,000 waiting to be delivered ?? It's up for auction now. Last bid was for £5 . . . . . any advances ??

Gawd - you are all like a DOSE OF SALTS TO ME. D'you know - YOU are ALL responsible for filling me back up with so much LOVE, it's literally bursting out of me. I know it may sound Dramatic, BUT I'm NOT a dramatic drama queen kinda person. That's WHY I'm saying it!! Awwwww, I reeeally do love you all, honest I doooooo. X

Jilly - what's the "seek" treatment ? Think I must have mis-read something. I'm not being sarkey. What were you meaning ??  x

Sorry Spongebob - I don't wish to fire anything up, BUT it was YOUR parents who gave you the money for their grandkids and you and your hubby. Personally , I think YOU should do what YOU think best with it, it's from YOU'RE parents. Espesh if your OH is depressed and therefore not necessarily thinking too straight. What IS it doing,? sitting in a bank account ?? Paying off your mortgage EARLY which YOU said you'd like to do with it, would save you £1000's in the next two years.  x

I "told someone off" only the other day for saying the "so you're cured now" and "You'll find someone who loves you for what/the person you are, without boobs". Told him "I need to EDUCATE people like YOU that, as yet, There IS NO CURE. And as for MY BODY, YOU haven't even seen ME, neither have all those other people who've said the same thing "You'll find someone nyam nyam nyam" . ALL of the people who've said it are in long term marriages/relationships and still have BOTH BOOBS !!".  Told him, I speak to other SINGLE women on this Forum and we ALL feel the same - NOT just me. "I appreciate your "sentiments" and that you're wanting to say something to support, but it'd be better if you didn't say anything,  instead of coming out with the same old MEANINGLESS PLATITUDES. You may as well save your breath or LEARN to say the RIGHT sort of thing such as "That must be really tough for you. Is there anything I can do. Let me give you a great big HUG" ??  I know, I know, he was just trying to be kind. Anyway , he survived and is now more educated from it. But d'you know what.  I've always maintained - a PHYSICAL action eg. HUG (In person or "Virtual"), touch on the hand, a kiss,  can say so much more than ANY attempt at words can and  only be a lovely thing ??

MadAnge - Yeh  " I'll have a good rest tomorrow as I'm having a general to fit the port". Firstly,  a "general" to fit your port, - how important a person you must be !!  And, YEH, isn't it the BEST sleep ever with general anaesthetic. Sad in a way innit?? Just updated - am so glad you're feeling ok after the port op. I'd rather have the "PASS THE PORT" op than yours any day!!  x

Sissy - have said in the night birds section, Don't worry about your seroma's, I had to have 3 drained from my first op, BUT it's very important that you do get drained because otherwise it can prevent/affect the healing. I'm glad you feel relieved. GOOD,  that's so +ve  x 

Charlie - Awwww, flippin 'eck. Here's us olders going on and there's YOU, having to talk/sort harvesting your eggs, whilst coping with ffffflippin chemo,surgery ,rads. Oh sweetie, my heart goes out to you and I only wish you STRENGTH and speedy healing/recovery in ALL your future treatments. AND . .  . lots of babies !! Well, however many you want that is. x   

Going now I've annoyed yers

Dellywellydingbloomindong xxx

[familytree]

Brilliant news Charlie! delighted for you x

[MadAnge]

Hi all, port was fitted ok. But sore today but all good. Had bloods today and all good so chemo 3 is Friday. The train is back on the tracks xxx

[Charlie31]

That is wonderful news Sissy, I bet you're relieved!

Got back from another appointment today, I have been referred for IVF!  I was so worried I wouldn't be able to have children of my own, but this gives us a good chance once I'm well again.

For me it's looking like IVF asap, then chemo, then surgery, then radiotherapy.  Work have said they'll pay for up to 3 months sick leave, which is a bit of a weight lifted - hopefully I'll be able to work during the chemo intermittently.

Best of luck everyone!  xx

[Tandy 4]

Pleased you had no nasty surprises Sissy...... You're able to move into the next step. Xx hugs Tina 

[A.Faed]

That's good news Sissy, no nasty surprises is a worthwhile victory. When nothing gets any worse, and you fell pretty darn good about it!

It's nice to have the plan in front of you, and to have a sense of what is coming and timescales etc.

Amanda x

[Cs66]

I am glad all went as you expected Sissy.time to focus on getting  as well as you can and having a great Christmas before chemo starts.

love Claire xxxxx

[Jobey68]

Good to hear things are as you expected Sissy,  it may have gone up a grade but treatment would have been the same either way I'm sure, another stage out of the way and you can move on to treatment now 😊

[Jill1998]

No nasty surprises then,that's good Sissy . I had my Seroma drained to twice then it, seemed to disappear over night , hopefully yours will do the same .

[Sissylw1980]

Hello all,

Had my results with Mr C who was on top form as always. Confirmed my lump was er+ her- and treatment plan to stay as 6 chemo then 3 weeks of rads before tablets for 10yrs. Lump ended up being 3.9cm and is now grade 3 rather than grade 2,even though biopsies both came back as grade 2 apparently when looked at closer it was acting more like a grade 3, just as well that it's out now! Had 13 lymph nodes removed, of which 6 were positive for cancer and 3 of those 6 only showed minuscule amounts. I know it's odd, but I'm feeling fairly relieved!

The seroma is still playing up though. Had 250ml drained today and there is still more left! Got to go back on Friday and they'll try to get it from a different area. Sissy xx

[Cs66]

Hope all goes well Ange.

good luck with your resu,to today Sissy.

i am back to work today. Seven days of normality before next surgery!

claire xxxx

[A.Faed]

Good luck tomorrow, Ange, soon be back on the road again. 

Good ode luck for your results Sissy.

Amanda x

[bazza7676]

I guess it's a way of dealing for some blokes. I definitely couldn't ignore what was going on, but that was me.

[shazza45]

Good luck tomorrow Ange, you'll be glad to get back on track. Stay in bed as long as you possibly can! Take care xxx

[Jill1998]

I think I would be tempted to stay in bed as long as you can get away with!!!!

[MadAnge]

Hi Jill, yep I think husbands think treatment is one day and then that's it. As Delky says it's the ostrich effect.

I am doing ok just tired. I will get a good rest tomorrow as I am having a general to fit the port then inwards we go to chemo 3. Think I may stay in bed longer do he has to work that little harder lol!! XXXX big hugs xxx

[Jill1998]

How are you doing Ange,shame I don't live closer I would run round with the toddler for a few hours for you .Minimising what is happening is a common theme I think,not helpful and quite hurtful ,but don't I don't think it comes from not caring ,very frustrating!!Keep trying to have the conversation with my husband regrading the risks of reoccurrence (he thinks it's all done and dusted ) and why this bothers me, also trying to explain why I am doing certain things to try and reduce the chances ,but he just changes the subject!!

[Jill1998]

Said this before Sarah,but there is never a blooming convenient time to have cancer,there are always things going on in your life that you have to deal with alongside the cancer treatment !Could you tell your husband that your parents have specifically asked why you haven't used their money for mortgage etc and would be hurt if you didn't use it to relieve pressure on the family particularly given what you have been through.If they think a lot of him I'm guessing he wouldn't want to insult /hurt their feelings either?If things do not improve by a certain point in your life you need to put yourself first and take some action.Im guessing that he will be horrified if you do though and that he probably hasn't realised just how bad you are feeling.If he is depressed that seriously reduces your ability to empathise with other people.I have a friend who had to do the "seek treatment " or it's over card.Very hard cos if he says no,you have to act and move on otherwise there is no pint in doing it in the first place.Right now when you are recovering from treatment may not be the best time to make life changing decisions.

[MadAnge]

Morning all, spongebob O think it's a man thing. I looked after my other half for 3 years he suffered bad depression I went through a lot at the time but we worked through it. Now I am ill he has become an ostrich. He takes me to appointments but treats me as if nothing is wrong and ignores me when I am tired hence I am still looking after my toddler with little or no help. Chin up , think Delly and Jill have offered some sound advice. Big hug xxxx

[spongebob52]

Thanks Gill and Delly for your advice and support. Husband has just moved his little factory out of our garage and office from our spare bedroom to a unit so business wise things are improving.It hasn't really helped him taking over the home for his business.Being self employed has been hard he makes lasers for hair removal tattoo removal and has just sold his shares to a Chinese company, so will be working for them know.He's a very clever man but seems to struggle when it comes to business!.He's been paying  himself peanuts which hasn't helped as my nurse's pay doesn't go very far between five of us. I do love him and realize he's probably depressed. Doctor wise or relate wise he wouldn't entertain the idea. He recently cracked a rib and refused pain relief so anti depressants would be a big no no.When I was prescribed them for PMT he was horrified.My parents are very generous and have recently given all there children a generous lump sum to enjoy while there still alive.It would pay our mortgage off so make life easier , but again he refuses to touch it, which I can

 Understand why, hurting his pride 

I 've just bought myself a new fiat 500 for work and self indulgence but am paying 4% interest as he want let me use the money, my parents would be horrified if  they knew but again they think he's lovely, so I am a bit stuck.

Our mortgage hopefully will be paid of in 2017 so will try  and sort things out between now and then otherwise make my own decision also the children will all be at university  and old enough to cope. Meanwhile I am lucky enough to love my work and throw my self at getting well and supporting my friend which is going to be very hard.

It really helps writting it down so thanks has always made my diagnosis an added inconvenience😨

[Jill1998]

Sarah ,feel free to "dump" here.Misery is not relative ,if you are unhappy it doesn't matter how much worse someone else's situation may be it doesn't make you feel any better.Going through cancer treatment does put relationships under pressure and the "ostrich" approach of a lot of partners does seem to be quite common I think.It makes you feel like they don't really care about what you are going through but actually I think it comes from fear mainly ,if you don't think or talk about it,it might go away....Sarah has your husband been to G.P re depression or does he refuse to discuss the problem.Cancer does bring things into sharp focus doesn't it?

[delly]

Spongebob - I'm glad you DID get it off your chest and it took some guts to talk so personally about it to us. I'm glad you have some good friends, albeit your best is soooo sadly losing her husband. But you also have friends here too. Sorry if I got your previous boob info wrong in that you felt unhappy with it.

I 'm not being condescending or supercilious when I say - have you two ever been for or considered counselling, at such as "Relate". All depends on whether your husband is prepared to admit there's something wrong and prepared to admit his part in that. Also depends on how much you and/or he want to salvage your relationship. I don't know all the ins and outs or for how long or how far it's reached already. I Do know it sounds extremely difficult for you to live with as it is. What kind sort of business is he self employed in ?? Any business is tough to keep above water the last 7-8yrs with the economic state, unless you're an undertaker (they'll never go out of business !). Financial problems can be very destructive to a relationship but you're working so there's something coming in. If his business/work is struggling/failing he's likely to be feeling inadequate that he's not bringing in enough to put the bread on the table. All of which is aside from the fact that YOU have and still are experiencing a life threatening disease, and yet you may be the main breadwinner also. All the more difficult when you have teenagers at home.

My own personal idea of a marriage or long term relationship, is that you should both be working together from and for the same page or goal and that if you both love each other, you should be helping and supporting each other. Plus both need to be able to talk about and discuss ANYTHING with each other.

WHY would it take him 4 months to tell his own family of your illness, WHY would he want your family and other people to think your being hard on him ?? WHY would he not wish to talk about your illness. Were you able to discuss your reconstruction with him ??

How were things between you two BEFORE your   BC ?? -  better and it's made it worse or not good then either and it's made it even worse.

Difficult enough to have to face, cope and deal with this disease in itself, difficult to deal with it alone, even more difficult when you've got kids to look after and an unsupportive husband/partner. At the moment you're sticking with it and he should feel lucky that you are.

If you're happy to carry on discussing this out in the open with all of us - that's great - do. However, if you're not so happy to and want to PM me - that's great to.

I'm really sorry you're struggling and it's no wonder you're burning it all off in the swimming pool !!

Lotsa love Delly xx

Haven't caught up with the rest of you today but hope you've had a good one

Delly xxx 

[spongebob52]

Delly, Thanks for your concerns , I am quite happy with my new boob, it still needs time to settle.Have an appointment with plastic surgeon Christmas eve, so will discuss it with him, he's very good so no real concerns with boobs. Hubby on the other hand struggling to talk about any of my treatment,  took him four months to tell his family ,and never mentions it. He's been self employed for past five years with not much success and I think has been probably been a some what depressed, things haven't been good for a long time . I did think this may have helped with our relationship but has had no effect with him,  So I have to decide  I have  to put up and shut up or take the plunge and go it alone,.It's a big decision with two teenagers and a 23 yr old to factor into the equation.luckily I  have a good friends but my husband is really good at making other people including my family think that I am being too hard on him.

Unfortunately my best friend is nursing her husband through the end stages of terminal skin cancer which makes me feel guilty for moaning about my husband when she will loosing her husband soon. 

So meanwhile I am throwing my self back into work and swimming as a distraction to what's going on a  home.and hope things may improve some what, But will have to make a decision in the near future. Sorry to dump this on you but it was good to get it of my chest !😨

[familytree]

That sounds wonderful! Going to be quite poignant x

[Fuffs123]

Hi Amanda. Yep I've read about calendula so might try it. Feeling a bit sorry for myself I must say but just being a wimp. Compared to some of you, I've had it quite easy. Just been such a long haul and strangely enough the nearer you get to the finish line the harder it seems to get. Think I need a bar of fruit and nut chocolate right now !

[A.Faed]

Hi Francine, you could try 'calendula' cream, you can get it in Boots.   

http://news.cancerconnect.com/calendula-effective-against-radiation-induced-dermatitis-in-breast-can...

Amanda x

[Fuffs123]

Looking forward to my trip to London on the 30th, for The Breast Cancer Care Candlelight Carol Concert. Rads lunchtime, then train to London, meeting up with daughter for some food and then on to the carols. Staying with her overnight in a rather posh hotel (my treat) and then back for my rads in the afternoon. Probably be whacked by the evening but I'm determined not to let the **bleep**ty BC spoil my trip. Spent the last year obeying it's demands so it can get knotted. 😀😀

[familytree]

Wow you're nearly there Francine..brilliant! Champaign all the way! X

[Fuffs123]

Thank you everyone. I tried some aloe Vera but it stung like mad in fact the only thing that doesn't sting is the aqueous cream. I'm wearing a long sleeve cotton top in bed so I don't have skin to skin contact. Believe me I'm not a pretty site with it all exposed to the elements! Last full week of rads ahead thank goodness and after that another 3 and I'll be done, 26 sessions completed. Bring on the champers!

[A.Faed]

Hi All, nice to see some ladies back who we haven't heard from for a while. 

Glad you're getting checked out Barry, could just be piles or fissures, not much fun but easily treatable.

Delly, I guess when the surgeon said staging, it was a nice way of saying 'spread'. By the pathology results, because of the 'extra capsular spread' from the sentinel node (the node had 'burst') they put me as Stage 2. I suppose if they see any anywhere else, it's going to change.

Amanda x

[Jobey68]

It did bring me out in a rash but it wasn't itchy and soon went , the relief from the burning was worth it! We always use Banana boat Aloe after sun spray when we go abroad which works a treat xx 

[bazza7676]

Aloe vera is good for sun burns, so makes sense with rads.

[JenJen]

Francine my friend who works in a radiotherapy dept just said also that skin on skin contact can aggravate so if its underneath or under your arm try separating it with something so they dont touch while ur asleep she suggested tucking a bit of old tshirt or flannel between ur boob n chest if they usually touch or making sure what u wear to bed keepa ur arm away from it . And aloe vera gel may work I know it has for othes

[Jobey68]

Francine I used pure Aloe towards the end when my boob was cooking a bit, it really helped 😊 Now have a mental image of you sat in front of Strictly with your boob out lol!! 😂😂

[Fuffs123]

I'm still here Delly, sitting with very sore boob in the open, lol. Good job Bazza is one of us now!! Was doing OK with the skin until Friday when a very sore patch appeared just where your arm lies against your chest, which is an awkward place. I did some googling yesterday and I didn't actually realise that rads cause an inflammatory skin reaction as it's damaged and it's not a 'burn' at all. They reckon a weak steroid cream is the best treatment to calm down the inflammation but I'll check with them tomorrow. Anyone tried this? Bazza, I'm pleased to hear your GP is following up on your first visit. I've had various examinations and tests associated with my rear end (!) and they weren't nearly as unpleasant as I thought they might be. Bit embarrassing but heh I'm beyond all that now! Love to everyone xx

[delly]

Bazza - GOOD. I don't envy you it though. Hope they're gentle with you.

Where is everybody today? Obviously all busy which is also good. As long as you're not all avoiding me, that's okay !!

XXX 

[bazza7676]

Haha I did see your message Del. The doc didn't examine me last time, just sent me for a blood test and to come back if it happens again. And it did, so I'm so back for and examination 😞 x

[delly]

JenJen - WHE - HEY, it's soooo good to see and hear you.  Yes, Les53 VERY kindly let us know you were ok' ish chemo wise, but having "outside" problems also.  Awwww, what a bloomin awful experience with your hair. I know it's expected at some time, but a HUGE upsetting shock for you that it had nearly all gone literally overnight. I'm not surprised you had a good sob.  Fantastically strong and positive of you to turn it around in that "it's one step to getting better". What's one of my favourite phrases everyone ? "Blown my socks off" !!

How's your Mum doing and is your hubby around at the mo ?  If there's anything at all I can do for you to help in anyway, let me know. If you get stuck for transport, need someone to sit your Mum. I can give you my contact no's in a PM - I think I can trust you !!

MadAnge -  glad you're to be back on track with your chemo seshes. Ain't it just the way - you've had this long wait to settle down with meds and then everything comes along at once and clashes. Hope you manage to get your appointments changed so that you can enjoy your social functions AS WELL AS - goodness knows you deserve to.

Oy Bazzin Bazza - D'you get my threatening message. Have been polishing my implements and my hands aren't as flexible as they used to be so bear in mind, it'll be even more uncomfortable !! 

How are the rest of you today ??

I need to do some cooking today, get these aubergines stuffed before the turkey mince, mushrooms etc. go off and to waste. Even if I end up not eating them I can pop them in the freezer for a "Here's one I made earlier" Blue Peter meal - Stab and Ping heat up in the micro. So it's a "Housey" day for me in the warm with a bit of cleaning (of myself too) thrown in, but I will go out for a brisk walk later, even if it's in the dark. Need to build up my fitness again after being stuck in Blackhole Land but I'm not getting much fuel IN at the mo. Had a few more dry crackers and humous for breakfast. Love humous and it's very good for you, full of protein. Make my own sometimes, with extra garlic of course.

No request played again today. My friend Terry must either be really bad or he's sunning himself in the Caribbean, in which case,  he could have at least sent me an invite !!

Lotsa love, Doolally xxx

[JenJen]

Loom? Look! x

[JenJen]

Ange id ask too x we have to have things to loom forward toox

I was thinking id ask to have EC3 moved off my birthday but have now decided to be half way through treatments (if not in days but in sessions) will be a good present