Morning everyone........ Oh Claire Hun, I can sympathise with you mostly, but can only imagine what you're going through losing both boobs! I'm feeling the same, and I've kept my boob ( all be it a lot smaller!) and touching wood my other is ok. Having the lymph clearence is painful and this wait on results!?! OMG!......
This thread is such a realease for our worries, like you, I can't/haven't said everything that I'm feeling and thinking to my family. Hubby supportive, very 'let's get on with this and nail the next step!' But like you, I'm worried sick of the possible threat of spreading. Petrified of treatments to come, angry that my life has turned upside down and see others moaning of what seems trivial now to me! They've got a cold, not enough time to get things done etc...... 😖 Poor things........
I've had a lovely weekend so far, was my sons 23rd birthday Friday and we met up with him and my daughter yesterday. Went to the cinema and out for meal last night. My daughter is home with us till after Xmas now as she's on her placement at my local hospital. So happy to have one of my babies back in the nest. My son will be home for Xmas on the 20th. (First chemo planned the 18th...... How will I be? Does the first one affect you? Will this spoil Xmas for me?!?........)
Tonight I'm off to see Simply Red live (a birthday gift to my husband from July, of which I bought for him february) I should be really excited, but I'm mildly so as I'm dreading Tuesday's visit to dental hospital to get this blasted tooth out!!!! 😖😰 PETRIFIED!......
Claire, love, wishing I could give you a big hug and say it's going to be ok, but all I can do is send you a virtual one and tell you you're doing great mate! Xxxx lots of love Tina
Hi Everyone, hope you are all having a good weekend and recovery/ treatment all ok. I am two days home from second op and feeling sore, uncomfortable and a bit sorry for myself. I can't believe what has happened to me since I first visited my GP at the beginning of September. No boobs, two ops, facing chemo and off work! It's just so much to get your head round.
I still have this fear that it has spread and I just don't know yet. Now waiting on yet more results- lymph node clearance and whatever they found on my left side. It's never ending!
i look like a boy and it will be even worse when my hair comes out.
Sorry to be negative but I am struggling with it all today. Can't really say all this to my family as they find it hard To see me weak and vulnerable and want me to be normal capable, independent and strong mum!
Glad to hear you back home safely Claire, you need plenty of rest, two big surgeries within weeks of each other is going to take it out of you!
i was pleased to hear you have had such a positive visit Tina, sounds like a reassuring visit. My 20 year old daughter had her two troublesome bottom wisdom teeth removed this August. She had never even had a filling and they did it with local anaesthetic, she was a bit apprehensive but the dentist was lovely and it was all done so fast, she was amazed and had no pain.
Love and hugs to everyone,
Great to hear it's all over and your back home Claire 😊 Like you say they have taken the lot so you certainly deserve to get the best news you can now! Xx Jo
Claire so relieved you're home! You take care and rest Hun.
I met with a lovely my love BC nurse today. Reassured me, that though a small amount of fluid there, it's all healing nicely. She's not draining it, leaving it and continue exercises for my body to reabsorb. She showed me round the unit and said we'll discuss in depth at my appointment Tuesday morning at 10. She's already sorted my voucher for wig, also complimented me on my lovely hair saying it may not come to my losing it. I've seen and felt the cold cap...... And I'm willing to give it a try. Though -5 for two+ hours?..... Well try anyway. Also........ I've got an appointment with the dental department for the extraction (same hospital) at 12:30! PETRIFIED!!!!! 😫 .......... Can't fault the treatment I've been given so far by the NHS staff. Today, so many vent over backwards to get things sorted for this bloody tooth apt. I went to my local CLAN for a chat and cuppa and booked in for a complimentary therapy chat to see what will be suitable once chemo starts.
So it's all happening faster than expected!?! BC Nurse said sees no reason for me not to go work wk Monday for week before Xmas holidays to break the sick cycle too 👍🏼☺️ Love yo everyone xxx Tina
Hi everyone, I am back home after mx number two. Feel ok just tired and sore so hope I will be back on my feet v soon. Results of that and lymph nodes before Christmas. At least I have no boobs and no nodes left so it should all be gone! Just hope that's the only place it was.
Tina- all change for you. In some ways starting chemo sooner gets it over quicker but I can imagine your panic feelings. I would be exactly the same!
I ned to sort out a trip to dentist too. It's on my list. Also wigs. Need to ask where and how. Dreading it!
hope all well with everyone. Thanks for thinking of me.
hugs Claire xxxx
Bet after all this having the tooth out will be a walk in the park,just think you will get it sorted on the day no waiting for results just tooth gone,problem solved!See if you can get it sorted then its one less thing to stress about.Just been for smear test, hoping this routine screening has a less scary outcome than the last one!Nurse seemed quite shocked when I said I had just been treated for breast cancer she said she had missed her last routine mamogram,told her to get it booked.
Good Morning lovely lasses, Bazza, and any other gents for that matter.
Yes I know, I warned you like Arnie, "I'll be back" but last night turned into this morning!! A very Warm Welcome to any newbies or oldies reappearing that I haven't yet met. I'm the daft one.
Trudi - good on you for your positive attitude considering everything you're coping with. Sorry to hear of your various complications. I'm an 8 and 9yr ago mastectomier, full lymph node clearance, lucky in no chemo or rads. Just massive depression after 2nd mast. Am 1/2 way through implant recon, fell off the horse due to other major probs, but am getting closer to getting back on again.
Like yourself, I had slight superficial nerve damage from one underarm surgery that left me with loss of feeling in my right thumb and the first two fingers (Peripheral Neuropathy) that some people gesticulate with!! (Not me of course). It prevented me from returning to my profession and had to sell my biz, so that was a very unexpected side effect. However ... like you say, I'm still here. What do you mean by you're "being messed around with recon"? You're waiting on appointment, or you've started or had but it's still to be "tweeked" ?? Vita's an excellent source of info and what's going on with the BCC x
Tina - oooooo, sooner than you thought. Just when you thought you'd have a free, clear Crimbo. Sad that that may be affected, BUT good that it's sooner they start knocking the beep disease into touch the better hey?? There's often a positive out of brown stuff isn't there ? in that you've met and made a new friend in Thelma - BONDED by a sharing such a nasty experience. That's soooo nice to hear. You can prop each other up or have a good complain to someone who knows EXACTLY what you're going through, so you're not ALONE in this. Brill. I've heard of many great lifelong friendships being forged from misfortune, so SOMEthing IS gained. Have fun choosing your wig. I once complemented one of my patients on her lovely new hairstyle "Ooooo, I love your new style, it reeelly suits you" unknowing it's was a wig. I know it's terribly upsetting at the same time, so have got the necessary bottle of vino ready for when its needed - was it a good red, Merlot ?? x Ps. just updated on your tooth probs - raining/pouring ?!! x
Hi LisaJane,- you're what I call a Chemocutie, it's tough on you all. I feel so lucky. But well done you for keeping positive and well as can be expected. I know from looking into the chemo posts (to educate myself) that you're in very good company with the "loose women lot" likes of Peggycat (Ruth), now Jenjen. x
Claire - Hope you're recovering well after yesterdays op. Yes it's tons easier with none than one. Although I was better mentally still having one of my "own". But I'd have coped a whole lot better with both if I could have had immediate recon. However . . . so I'm reeelly glad you're having recon at same time lovey x
Francine - 'ello darlin. Shades of Charlie Drake there if you're of an age like me. Another stage over and under your belt. I know you've still got some appts to take off your top for, with check ups etc. but not long now before you can start keeping them to yourself, - thank goodness. Altho' I've made some extra pin money from the sales of your topless piccies. Surprised you haven't yet ask me for royalties !! x
Hey Amanda - that's a great photo of youhoo.
Sissy - how you and Amanda doing ? Everything getting easier in the shoulder and boob area I hope. Know you've got chemo looming, both and you, along with Clairebee. x
Yeh Charlie - You get as angry with it as you flippin want. Have a bloomin good vent/sob. we'll all pick you up after. As I've said above, it's not great having one boob, but still having one of your own that's still sensitive and feels normal means a lot. x
JenJen - glad you posted. Hope you're managing to cope with IT and your Mum too. Catch you later x
Am off to jump in the shower before I go to the docs at 11.20. have emergency appt for now 3 1/2 week stomach prob. Have even pre-empted request of a "sample" and am taking with. That was fun but I'll tell you about it later. See you soon
Loadsa love to everyone not mentioned
I will do Jill....... Also I have a cracked tooth (biggest back tooth in my head!) that should've been extracted last December! But I'm a nervous dental patient (ha! Never have guessed that would you!?!) and my dentist messed it up making me and things worse! So long waits for referrals, finally got apt at dental hosp but it was two wk post first procedure so I had ton cancel! My anaethatist ( both OPS) said it may come out or break during surgery....... I told him to take it out! But he didn't..... 😉 I was told they wouldn't touch it until I'm healed. I then read on the chemo thread about getting dental check ups etc. Tooth getting worse as I clench teeth in sleep, touch wood no infection there. God, I'm falling apart! Literally! Another nervous stressful thing to put myself through. Xx
Thanks Anne...... So many questions running through my head!!!!! Xxx
Hi Tandy your breast care nurse should be able to give you your voucher for 120 pounds and my hospital have a couple of wig suppliers who go in a couple of days a week and its all really nice and friendly. I should think your hospital will have a similar setup xx.
I just joined for Vita magazine but loooked ar forum, I am now 10 months post all treatment but I have been unlucky with side effects left with feel like my life will never be anything but cancer!!
But I stay happy you have to and happy to chat anytime.
I had HER2 positive hormone negative still being messed about for reconstruction or at least other breast off now flat on right 34G on left sick of this fake thing.
I am alive got my next 2year CT scan Jan. as my cancer was not visible in my breast just in lymph had 15 removed 5 left got lymphodema now and peripheral nurology chemo I had killed my nerve cells too leaving numb hands feet.
To top it off just been diagnosed under active thyroid not sure if related looking into that.
I am with you hugs and prayers
Hello everyone....... All change!!..... 😏 Had a call from my local BC nurse (she wasn't in in the meeting yesterday but had been informed). Going to meet her tomorrow as she wants to check my wounds. It's a bit swollen today and more painful, she's checking for fluid build up. I've also got apt for oncologist next Tuesday to discuss chemo......... 😧 I mentioned that I was told it would start in January..... She said "oh no, we won't be leaving it that long, if you are healed enough you'll probably have your first session 18th December!"..... 😫
Jeeeze!........ Here goes the panic button again......... 😧 When do you get prescription for wigs? Where from?
Hope all went well Claire! 😘 Had txt from my first room mate (we were in same room for our first OPS!) from hospital today (we ended up in on same days for second procedure too!) She's back in today, third time lucky..... Having full mastectomy tomorrow. They're going to look at her under microscope whilst she's under to decide if she's to get radiotherapy and had no mention of chemo. Love her xxx I've told her to get on here so look out for Thelma!! 👍🏼 xxx love to all
Good Morning Dear Friends,
Cooo, loadsa catching up to do again. Haven't posted on here since 26th !! Good gracious that IS neglectful, sorry. Ask me what I've been doing?? Must have been doing SOMEthing 'cos I'm way behind on Emmer and Corrie, seem to have been listening to music more again. I HAVE been posting elsewhere though. Isn't that I haven't been thinking of you all tho', just takes me soo long to type anything, so need to tattoo "Typing Course" onto my forehead - backwards of course. J.F.D.I. Delly !!!
Am going to come back tonight tho' to have a concentrated catch up rather than now, as I need to get out whilst DRY to finish some work for an elderly nieghbour at the houses which overlook the back of my house and garden. So I'm not ignoring you're individual posts, well I am really, but only until later. OK? So treat all that follows as simply "entertainment".
My neighbours to the right of my garden, have let a load of trees grow over the path so they've arched over and wrecked a trellis and fence of this elderly lady's garden that backs onto mine behind a fence, so I've been attacking those and chucking all the debris over THEIR fence. They are THEIR trees, so up to their responsibility to keep trimmed back and dispise of offcuts - YEH ??
I've got to know all my neighbours at the back in the process, which is so lovely. Can't believe how genuine and friendly people are in Mackers. Afraid I'm somewhat pee'd off with these right hand neighbours tho'. Have wrecked one of my fence panels. Plus, a tree that some IDIOT planted 20 odd yrs ago, right next to my low wall on which the fence panels sit, has now caused a 3" crack at the end so now the fence POST is angled and the last fence panel wont sit in it's slot. Told them about the crack 6 months ago, that the tree would have to come down to avoid further root damage. Nothing done. At the time, I was still in "black hole land" so didn't want the bother of having to hassle/pursue. Last week, they had the tree surgeons out, but instead of cutting WHOLE tree down, it was just pruned!! When I moved in 2 yrs ago, this bottom fence panel had been removed (was not happy about), and was told they'd been accessing my garden to do a few things ??! Granted, the house had been empty for approx 6 months so garden overgrown, but nothing in it causing ANY damage to them!! They had my Rochdale contact no's to ask my permission if it'd be ok - just didn't bother to. So they'd been accessing my property willy nilly (trespassing) and left this fence panel gap completely OPEN, part of my security, which annoyed me even more! I bit my tongue about it, because I didn't want to get our relations off to a bad start AND they'd been very helpful when I first moved in. But I wish I'd expressed my annoyance at them for taking liberties, so they would have known I was a person who disliked to have my property and rights disregarded and, quite frankly, abused!! Because, the said fence panel remained OUT of it's slot for 17 months !!!! Despite me asking for it to be put back 3 X, and the wife saying 3 x "Must get Roger to put fence panel back. Finally pushed a note through the door, TELLING not asking, to get it put back before it gets DAMAGED !! Too late, on inspection, whole bottom had rotted !! NO communication back from them, but. . . . two days later new fence panel appeared !! Completely different colour and also different style!! NO asking "Oh, Adele, so sorry, it's now all rotted because WE DIDN'T EVER PUT IT BACK FOR YOU. So it's only fair that we replace it for you. Do you want the same style and would you prefer a "natural" wood colour or a colour treated one" ?!! Just did what THEY thought - KACK coloured and cheapest poss. Now permanently looking at a bl**dy eyesore. BUT, now even bigger crack PLUS now wonky fence post so panel is being propped in position by overgrown branches of the privet hedge!! Sooo, Dear Peeps, I now waging WAR!! Will have to seriously "threaten" legal action and a time scale to get tree totally felled along with two others closer to my house, before they cause potential damage to same wall and a drain immediately close by not to mention house foundations, plus REPAIR costs to the wall. I shall do it all by formal letter and say I've consulted solicitor and have also lodged copy of said letter with them. RANT over, you'll be glad to hear.
I'm glad to say, that apart from THEM, I've discovered all my others are LOVELY, respectful and appreciative neighbours!! "Audrey", the elderly 83 yr old, has a 54 yr old carpenter/joiner son living living almost full time with her who DOES cook for her, but little else. Her house, garden, fences, gates are all falling to bits and very sadly neglected. I'm going to unblock a drain that, by the fetid smell, has been overflowing for a looong time and then do a bit of tidying up of overgrown areas. It's funny with me, My house is still a tip yet and MY gardens junglefied, but I'm all motivated to do hers. Still, now I'm so much better, I AM s-l-o-w-l-y getting down to sorting my own stuff as well.
But. . . I've fallen in love with Audrey. She's had her fair share of illnesses and ops, including boob (non Malignant thankfully), huge grapefruit sized tumour from uterus, is Diabetic. Reckon she was a real stunner in her youth, because I think she's still beautiful to look at for an 83yr old. My Mum was the same, Amazing smile and complexion with sparkling blue eyes. I'm treating her to "Afternoon tea" at the Midland, which is Manchesters equivalent of the Ritz in London. Something I'd have like to have done for my Mum. I'm desperately trying to sort it before the 6th of Jan so we can see the hotel all dressed up in Xmas decs. I'm not an sweet tooth person, but I can eat lots of sarnies. So Audrey's acting as "surrogate Mum" - awwwww. We're both gonna get really glammed up for it. I don't care how much it's gonna cost, it'll be a REAL TREAT for meee toooo.
Going now. As I said, thought I'd give you a bit of light reading, completely away from Bleep BC disease. Hope you haven't minded.
Hi Lisa, no, it doesn't sound patronising, your post is very reassuring, thank you!
Like the rest of the whole 'cancer show', if you don't know something, your mind works overtime filling in the gaps, and does an amazingly good job of concentrating on all the worst possible outcomes, you name a chemo side effect, and my mind is telling me I'll probably get it!
Hi all, hope everyone is managing ok.
Good luck tomorrow Claire, I'm sure in some ways, no boobs will be easier to manage than having just one...so unbalanced! (Well, you can see how I feel about having one) You will get used to it,
So glad you have had your results at last, Tina and they were good...another 'January starter' for the dreaded chemo! Hopefully you will sleep a little better tonight!
Francine, well what a great milestone, take it slowly, getting used to being out of the 'hospital/treatment bubble' is going to take a bit of getting used to! It's good to be free of it all but scary at the same time. You will probably be feeling the effect of the nuking for a few weeks as well.
Charlie, I think cancer brings out emotions we didn't even know we had, and they way it makes you feel and having to dealing with the onslaught of emotions pi**es you off even more!
Lots of love and hugs to everyone!
Thank god for that Tina, another step over and ticked off the list! Onwards to the next phase now, don't worry yourself about Tamoxifen it's fine honestly and once you've finished your active treatment it's just one tablet a day and you won't even notice your taking it! Xx
All the best for you tomorrow Claire.
Tina that is good news in all this horrible news. Enjoy your wine tonight x
Thank goodness for that Tina. So pleased all ok with surgery and you have a plan. Yo must feel relieved. Looks as if you, me, Amanda and Sissy will all be chemo buddies. Dreading it but at least we will be able to support each other through it. Have a good few weeks and relax and enjoy Christmas. Lots of love Claire xxx
Tina - I'm so sorry to hear how much this is getting you down and that you need to be strong for your hubby. It would be great to have a meltdown whenever and wherever you want, but sometimes I think we need to give the other halves a little break from it when we can - so they can save some energy for when we really need them, for the big meltdowns. I'm also (I am sorry) secretly a little glad I'm not the only one having a meltdown here and there and blubbing in the shower! Sounds like it's all good at the moment though, great news on your results! Sending you hugs xx
Francine - That s amazing news! xx
Claire - Best of luck with the 2nd surgery, I'm hoping to have a double mastectomy as well so it sounds like I'll be following in your footsteps. I'm also about to face being off work for a while, I'm trying to set myself up with some sofa based projects (knitting, sewing, catching up on House) but it's hard to get people to visit on weekdays as they're all working. Fortunately, my mother in law is visiting over Christmas so she'll keep me company. I mean, she's 81 and I'll have to remind her where she is, why I'm there and where she is every five minutes but it'll keep me entertained.
I had an appointment with the doctor today. I am no longer going in for chemo first. I am now going in for a single mastectomy so I can complete IVF (If they had refered me on day one like I asked, it wouldn't have caused delays). I'm booked in for surgery Friday next week. I'm a 32G, so it's going to be really odd having one breast for a while but I'll have to figure out how to come to terms with that. I don't imagine that's going to be easy. Fairly angry at cancer today.
Hi everyone! 😊
I finally had call from the ('my') BC Nurse At about 5'clock!........ They have their Team meetings on Wednesdays and as my oncologist is in my local hospital ten mins away and consultant and procedures in another nearly two hours away, I assume this is the reason for hold up!?!....... But..... Good news! I Don't have to go in to see my consultant Miss S for results..... Path report says she's got clear margin this time and on the axillary clearence only 1/11 lymph nodes showed positive (I'm not 100% sure what this all means!?) so she's done all she can for this step. My Oncologist will ring by end of this week for apt to discuss chemo sessions and when they'll start more than likely in Jan once healed. He'll explain it all again to me and app he's a lovely quietly spoken calm guy ☺️ So it'll be the 6 sessions over 18 wks if all goes ok. Then start medication, Tamoxifen (? Would appreciate ant heads up on this please) mth after chemo for min of 5 years. After chemo I've to have the 15 sessions radiotherapy over a 3 wk period. So if all goes to plan treatment should be done by next July/Aug! 🙏🏼! Hope I'm not being too optimistic!?! Needles to say very relieved and tears this end xx Missed the post earlier regarding the 7 o'clock wine toast, but I'll join you at 8! 👍🏼 Xx Thank you all for your kind words, love, advice, patience and support. You're all wonderful 😚
Tina that's just awful, no wonder your going nuts!! What is wrong with the NHS in your neck of the woods!?
It's just so unfair to you and makes no sense , they must have your results back by now!!!! My niece is having tests done on her unborn baby, the bloods are sent to California and they are back in two weeks!! Yours are only in the lab at the same hospital your op was done for gods sake!!! 😡
Wishing you a speedy recovery from tomorrow's op Claire so you can enjoy Christmas with your family 🎄🎄
leave the new year where it is for now and just get this bit done and have some fun for a few weeks 😊 Xx jo
Hi everyone, just got back from work and now having to face round two of surgery tomorrow. It was so hard saying goodbye again. I love my job and I know that I am unlikely to be allowed to go in during chemo as its a school. Hate having to put my life on hold.
well done for finishing Francine. You have shown we can get through this and it's been a tough journey for you.
Sissy, my surgeon said the wait for chemo in our area is longer than they would like so hopefully you will get Christmas. I know mine will be January. I hope I heal as quick this time as much as I am dreading it I just want to get on with it now. I keep telling myself this time next year it will all be over (I hope!)
Thanks for thinkng of me Tina and Jill. Tina I hope you get news soon. Waiting is hell.
This time tomorrow I will be totally boobless. I actually liked my old body. Going to be tough getting used to the new one. I have only just got used to having one boob!
hugs to all
Sissy, when I saw my oncologist for the first time I was given my start date. She would have been happy for me to start within two weeks but I had a family issue that I had to deal with so she let it go to three and I think you can negotiate that so long as you are not asking for weeks and weeks additional time. Anyway, one of the key issues is that your surgery site has healed sufficiently before you start chemo and if you are still having your seroma drained I'd suspect they might not think it has. Hopefully you'll be able to push it to the New Year. Fingers crossed.
Jen, good to see you are doing okay and have the strength to even think about Christmas decorations!
Ange, I'm the same as you. I'd been told that the chemo would most likely stop periods. Nope. still chugging away and the current one has lasted more than a week now. I have actually not felt at all bad on FEC-3 but this part has been the worst bit about it. Sorry for TMI people.
Congratulations Francine - you give hope to us all.
Hope everyone else is doing okay.
Still not heard Jill!...... Really getting me down now....... Xx
wI'll be thinking of you tomorrow Claire! 😚 Xx
Francine, that's great news! How are you feeling about your last zap today? And your support to Nikki and I has been invaluable, in fact everyone's. Nikki has a couple more months of treatment and while it's not a walk in the park, the time will whizz by (not that you think it does at the time).
I'm expecting a letter from the hospital, so they can stick a camera up my you kow where, looking forward to that. Not!
How's the xmas shopping going everyone? Nikki's birthday is next monday, so I have had extra presents to buy!
Sending love and hugs to you all. Barry xx
Francine what a great post to read!....... Will be thinking of you today! Well done!...... I, like many others, am just starting out on this horrendous journey..... 2 OPS down, waiting for results before the chemo in January.
Thank you for your support and encouragement and I hope today goes swiftly and smoothly for you xxxx Big hugs! Xx Tina
As far as I know the CT scan is a sort of bench that slides through a .arge donut shaped scanner, I don't know if that is what they use for the placing the radiotherapy tattoos, haven't got that far yet!
Tina, I was always feeling I was waiting too long for things, as you're three weeks post surgery, I would have thought they should have your results by now, you could try phoning your surgeons secretary or, dare I say, you BCN? I am also three weeks post surgery and like Sissy, have not even got my appointment with the oncologist yet. I know about what they are planning because the surgeon told me at the meeting two weeks after surgery and they had hinted at it before and also, I ask a LOT of questions, I go in with a notebook! If you haven't had a date to see your surgeon, get on the phone and ask some questions, three weeks is a long time to be waiting and it is having a negative effect on you. 😕
i don't expect to start any adjuvant treatment until January (chemo) and then radiotherapy when chemo is finished and then after that, hormone therapy, probably tamoxifen. I asked the surgeon about starting tamoxifen sooner but he said it was not the best order to do it, maybe too much while having chemo, I don't know why other than years of research and experience tells them that you start after all the other delightful stuff they throw at you!
Hello to everyone else, haven't heard from Barry, Delly, Ange or Francine for a while, hope you're all doing ok, thinking about you.
Ah Tina and Claire I so feel for you my lovelys, it's just bloody awful, I've only had a taste of what you both have been through and I fell apart so take it from me you are both bloody brilliant in my eyes! Your still have ops and tests on going and can't expect to start feeling stronger mentally until you know exactly what's happening, you cope because there is no choice and it really is a simple as that, hind sight is a wonderful thing and I wish I had been stronger but it comes ladies I promise you 😊😊 Xxx Jo