Hello, I’m new here. I’m 33 and have 3 children, 8 years, 5 years and 4 months. Iv just been diagnosed with grade 2 HER2 positive aggressive cancer due to estrogen and I’m really scared that I won’t survive to see my children grow up 
… does or has anyone had this??
Thankyou 
Hi Clairbear,
Sorry to see you here, but glad you found us.
You are certainly not alone, there are others here with a similar diagnosis (it’s not uncommon for bc) & age to you with little ones, who will be along shortly to offer support & share experiences.
The early days of diagnosis are the pits as it is such a shock & the uncertainty does send the mind into overdrive.
It does settle down though, when the treatment plan is confirmed.
Although it’s the last thing you’re feeling at the mo, thankfully it can now be treated, bc treatment is excellent now, so there’s every reason to be positive.
When you start treatment, do have a look at the ‘going through treatment’ thread where you will be able to share with others going through similar.
Do come & chat or vent whenever you need to, between us we’ve been through all that bc can throw at us
Sending hugs
ann x
Just to add, there is also loads of info on the main bcc site here, including advice & support on helping children with what’s going on. There is also the helpline here if you need to talk things through x
Thankyou for your reply Ann and it’s a huge relief to find everything settles down, I suffer with anxiety too which doesn’t help and a girl I have mutual friends with recently passed away from having the same diagnosis, after treatment she was clear then it had spread to her bones and brain and sadly she lost her fight, I am so scared this is going to happen to me . Hopefully I will be fine as my baby is 4months old and I hope it’s been caught early as iv been told I got it after I had her due to hormones?
Hi there Clairbear,
So so sorry you find yourself needing to be here, and especially with a new baby to look after as well - what a lot to take in, a terrible shock and an assault on your psychi. My cancer type was slightly different to yours I was grade 3, Her2 negative, ER and PR positive. There will be others who have had exactly the biopsy results you have had using the forum at the moment - and importantly many many others who have gone before you who no longer use the forum as they have ‘moved on’ with life. However, whatever type of cancer you have been diagnosed with, the treatment plan will be tailored to your cancer type with a team of specialists and nurses supporting you to make decisions. It is only slowly through this emotionally painful process over the next few weeks that you start to learn more and become educated on the intricacies of bc - you find out that for a vast majority of women treatment is effective and successful.
It is natural to be scared, very very scared, especially with young children in the household as well - but please take huge hope and courage from the fact that there are plenty of others here who are right where you are now. They, and we, understand the horrific rollercoaster of emotion you are on right now. I can’t point you in the direction of those with the exact biopsy results, but you will find them round and about on various threads.
x
Thankyou charys…wow 2 1/2 years that’s great!
I have had my mri lAstnight and pet scan done today so things are moving along really quickly, I am super anxious (I super anxious as I suffer from anxiety) and am praying that it hasn’t gone anywhere else, does this seem unlikely to be else where at this stage?
I am constantly shaking and my whole body is aching which I’m being told by family is possibly shock? Iv never had shock before so I’m not sure what the affects are.
Hi Clairbear,
Thankfully, bc is normally detected earlier than other cancers, so it is unusual for it to have already spread at initial diagnosis, but in the stress of being newly diagnosed it’s something we all worry about & tend to have physical stress symptoms as well.
Sorry to hear about your friend, that is hard, but your situation is not what hers was.
We all feel high anxiety levels at this stage, so please dont think you are in any way unusual in feeling the way you do at the mo.
ann x
Oh really? I didn’t realise this one was detected earlier than most! Did you think the worse when you were first diagnosed and would you say that waiting on the mri and pet scan results cause more stress?
Do you think that once the results are back and a plan is in place I will start to accept it abit better?
I’m finding it so hard to sleep and eat. Is this normal?
Do you have any advice on how to deal with it and any positive thoughts for me?
Sorry for all the questions lol I have asked to be referred to a councillor aswell x
Hi Clairbear,
BC tends to be picked up earlier, because of where it is, as it’s easier to see or pick up any breast changes sooner than in other parts of the body.
Yes, I remember the scan anxiety or scanxiety well! I also had an mri & I found that the most stressful part of it. I found it helpful to remind myself that it was far better to get the full picture, so that the best treatment plan could be sorted out. Afterwards, I was glad it was done.
It’s the uncertainty that’s so hard to handle at this stage, but honestly, this does improve once the treatment plan is confirmed & treatment starts. This stage does pass & you will move on.
ann x
waiting for results is a killer. I was recalled after my MRI of other breast and then had to wait for biopsy and CT results. Got myself into a right state about the CT results, but they were fine after all that. I’m the opposite, I eat chocolate when stressed and am trying not to put back on the 4 stone I lost with alot of effort last year!
Thankyou all for posting with your advice, I really hate that this has happened to all of us and hate feeling like my life is on a knifes edge …I just really want my treatment to start so I know it’s under way.
I do have a huge support network for all of you guys and all of my family and my husband and he’s family but I just feel so crap and scared at the minute. I’m trying to put on a brave face cos I don’t want my kids to see anything yet as I’m not sure when to tell them, I do t want them upset or scared and am just praying I come out of this the other side and get my life back ??
Hi Clairbear
How are you doing?
I’m 37 with a 20 month old and was diagnosed on 18th sep with grade 2, invasive ductal carcinoma, oestrogen positive but her2 negative.
Those first 2 weeks after diagnosis are the absolute worse, but once you get your team and plan in place things are so much easier. The waiting around for scans and results is a nightmare, the fear of the unknown.
I now have surgery booked for the 12th November, then will have radiotherpy and hormone treatment for 10+ years, at the moment, looks like I’ll be lucky enough to escape chemo.
The appointments will start coming through thick and fast, I found it best just to focus on next appointment rather than think too far ahead. I’m now feeling really positive and looking forward to seeing my wee boy grow up. As a mum of three, the kids will really keep you going.
I was expecting to be the youngest in all the clinic waiting rooms but that’s certainly not the case, I’ve already made some firm friends. There’s a great Facebook group too, I can share the info if you like, ladies at all ages and stages who are a great support and answer all my daft questions.
My only other experience of bc is my mum, she was diagnosed July 2010, had chemo, surgery and radiotherapy, given all clear in March 11, but diagnosed with secondaries in her liver and died in Aug 11. Hard for me not to compare but have come to realisation that no two people, diagnoses, reaction to treatment etc are the same. I will beat this and so will you!! Xx
Hi Clairebear,
I see you have had some lovely support already from our ladies, you are never alone on this forum ?
Its an awful shock to be diagnosed and especially at your age with such a young family but we are seeing this more and more so you will certainly come across ladies here going through the same.
These early days are pretty brutal, and what you are describing is completely normal but I assure you It does settle down. The shakes, the anxiety, the gut wrenching fear that you won’t survive this, not sleeping or eating the list is endless!
You are in shock and our brains don’t know how to deal with so much uncertainty, answers are the key and over the coming weeks that is what will help you settle and come to terms with things, once you have a definite treatment plan and know the way forward you will start to feel better ?
I completely understand your fears after losing a friend to BC, My mum died from it and a few weeks before my diagnosis we buried a close friend of mine who had BC but died from Ovarian, my brain was fried!
But you soon learn that you cant compare yourself, we all respond differently and thankfully the majority of us go on to be just fine after treatment, I was diagnosed in March 2015 at 46 and am doing great now.
One thing for certain is no amount of stress and panic will change things, if I could go back and tell my newly diagnosed self anything it would be that, You will cope with things it just takes time Xx Jo
Hi Clairbear
It’s Emily here from Breast Cancer Care.
I just wanted to let you know that we have volunteers who have had a similar experience to yours, who’d be happy to talk to you too if this would be helpful.
One of them is Karen (her profile is here) who can be contacted by email: karen@breastcancercare.org.uk.
Or we can put you in touch with someone by phone. Feel free to drop me a private message on the forum if you think this would be helpful.
Best wishes in the meantime.
Emily at Breast Cancer Care
Hi Clairbear
I’ve recently been diagnosed with invasive ductal carcinoma oestrogen positive, I’m 34 with 3yr old twin daughters. I’ve been losing the plot tbh, I’ve lost weight with worry, been put on sleeping tablets and beta blockers but nothing seems to be helping. I have aches all over so have obviously convinced myself the cancer has spread everywhere. Today I’ve decided it’s my brain. Yesterday it was my liver! I just wanted to message to say you’re definitely not alone but also thank you for your original post as even reading someone is feeling similar has helped me. Lots of love and strength xxx
Hello,im new here too.Iv been diagnosed Stage 2,estrogen positive and HER2 negative…had surgery and postive on lymph nodes.Im feeling the same scared that wont see my two girls and my special needs son future.waiting to see oncologist and im dreading to think im having chemo? does anybody of you offered clinical trials?
Hi
I had my scan results back and their all clear, I don’t have any lymph nodes involved I just have the one lump and a small one next to it that isn’t a concern.
I was adamant that I wanted surgery first to remove it but My consultant has advised he’d like me to have chemo first…I know I will be having herceptin and hormone blockers but I’m not sure wether to go straight in with chemo.
I don’t know about this optima trial??
The Optima trial now looks like there has to be node involvement. From reading the posts if HER pos chemo first treatment to shrink tumour? Also the Optima is if HER -. Goodluck with your journey keep in touch x
thank you.
Hi Michelle thank you for sharing.im still undecided as of now.x