I got my diagnosis on 8th August - following abnormal mammogram and call back and had biopsies. I had MRI this week and have appointment to see consultant next Thursday.
I am strong person but this has knocked me sideways ? I haven’t told many people about the diagnosis (husband was with me at the time ) I’m quite a private person and feel like don’t want to burden them - do others feel like this ? Is this normal to not want to tell people for fear of the reaction you may get when your trying to stay strong ?
I am feeling particularly down about it this morning and could just cry for England today ?
Hello and welcome to the forum, not a place you would choose to be, however you will get loads of help and support from the wonderful ladies on here,we will get you through this.
What you are feeling is totally natural, it is the fear, anger, the total what, bc me?? Give yourself time to adjust to your initial diagnosis, once you have your treatment plan in place, as you will see if you read other posts on here, things get better, strangely enough, because you know what is going to happen and when. You will be able to set yourself small milestones to achieve which will help.
I only told close friends and colleagues at work. I decided not to tell my mum who lives a distance away until after I had had my op and results. I could not cope with worrying about her worrying about me whilst I was getting used to what was happening to me. SHe wasnt happy but understood why.
There is the wonderful helpline on here where you can speak to some lovely people who will be able to help you as well if you feel you want to, the number is 0808 800 6000 I think they are open this morning.
Ask anything you like on here there will always be someone who will be able to answer your questions. Just come on whenever you need to whether it is to rant, rave, cry or just to be with people who really get you because we have been through it.
Warm welcome, but sorry you have had to join us - but yes - the shock is huge. I remember it myself, and like you, I am private, like to be in control of what I do, and my diagnosis sent me reeling. You will meet so many lovely warm ladies on here, who will support you, understand, have the info and experience you need to get you through. Honest you will.
I found my Lump when I wasn’t looking for it in March, and I can remember the ’ this must be a mistake ’ feelings, and hoping it would go away. I wanted to rewind time and delete this nightmare.
I think there is agreement that the waiting and the wondering is the absolute worst, and our heads and the worry gremlins go to town - very few people in my life know about my BC, only those who need to know, and who I trust completely. My paranoia was that someone would find out and then people who know nothing about me would be discussing me etc? If and when you decide to tell people, it will be at your own pace, and when you feel comfortable, maybe after you have seen your consultant and have a clearer idea of what is happening. I did it that way, because I didn’t want to ‘drip feed’ my grown-up kids and closest family and friends bits of information day to day - that gave me time to take it in, and be more in control of when and where and how . . . .
I had surgery in May, WLE and axillary clearance - and 20 zaps of radiotherapy finishing early August,
And stepping into this forum is a good place to come - to vent, to share, to ask. Wishing you all the best. x
Thank you both for such a lovely warm welcome to the group ? and to your advice it is greatly appreciated.
Feeling so so low this morning after being so strong all week and have cried lots but have now made plans to see my daughter and the grandchildren for a picnic later today so hopefully should distract me for a while.
The MRI was such a scary experience (even though had one before for a different problem!!) I think it’s just the not knowing like you say waiting for proper plan as to what happens next is just like being in a sort of limbo bubble ! My daughter knows and is being very supportive - not telling my sister until after op etc as she’s just about to go on a holiday of a lifetime and really don’t want to spoil that for her - she will probably go mad at me when I do tell her for keeping if from her but I feel it’s for the best.
My work colleagues have been amazing and boss has told me any time off really no problem and that she’s there for me 100% bearing in mind I’ve only been working for this company for 3 months is fantastic.
Thanks again your responses are so very helpful it is so good to hear that you all felt the same at the beginning with not knowing what was going to happen - yep I think that’s what scares me the most - I am usually so in control of my life and what’s going on and to have that turned upside down feels so out of control.
I have had a lovely afternoon with my daughter and the grandchildren it definitely took my mind off things for a while - and to top it I won the raffle at a family fun day being held for Macmillan! a big basket of various drinks from wine to Capri sun ? that really made me smile big time.
Confirmed diagnosis on Friday last week…feel like someone has just picked up all pieces of my life and thrown them in the air!
Huge range of emotions…trying hard to get a grip on it all and some perspective…can’t seem to settle at any one thing for any length of time…scared, angry, sad…lots of tears and ‘Why me?’…
Only had a mammogram at the end of March this year…and had the all clear…and yet here I am just 4 months later facing surgery, radiotherapy and hormone drugs…
Not sleeping well and eating when you’re stomach is churning with nerves is tricky…for a total control freak, having NO control over this is hard going!
Women are strong and cope. We ask a lot of ourselves, and others’ often ask even more. On top of the shock of diagnosis, we are suddenly thrown into the turmoil of thinking about ourselves, our routines, our feelings, our needs . . . . and that is often a whole new experience? We almost feel that we have to apologise for being ‘a nuisance’.
With BC, it is ‘our turn’. To put ourselves a bit nearer the front of the queue, if not first - not always possible with young families I know - and coming here you get the feedback you need. You are in the company of fellow travellers - none of us wanted the ticket, but we all got one, and the journey is varied to some degree for each of us - but ‘sisterhood’ comes into its’ own on here. x
So sorry to hear you have also had this diagnosis - I am feeling exactly the same with the turmoil of emotions since getting diagnosed and the fact that everyone carrying on as normal !! You look at them and want to shout ‘don’t you know what I’m going thru !!’
I have my appointment wth the surgeon tomorrow to get results of the MRI last week and to find out what the plan is - I can tell you it’s been the longest couple of weeks from being diagnosed to getting to find out some exact plans as to what’s going to happen next.
Yes it has turned our worlds upside down but one comfort I can think of is that it has been detected and being dealt with.
Since putting my post on here everyone has been so supportive it’s a place where you can put down your feelings, ask questions or just chat about your day without any judgements ?
Ok have now had appointment with consultant and have details for op - good news following the MRI that the little gremlin I have appears to be confined to just one area Phew!!! so now scheduled for local wide excision and sentinel node removal on 11th September - I do have to have the ‘blue’ injection first (eek not looking forward to that !) followed by a guide wire inserted before surgery.
I must admit i it I do feel better now I know something happening and also the Breast Care nurse was amazing and totally reassuring and thoroughly explained everything that’s going to happen which def put me at ease.