Hi Run4fun- I’m really sorry to read your post. First of all, your post wasn’t negative or moany. It was a description of what is going on with you at the moment. By its very nature this is what this forum is for - people don’t generally come on here to say all is well, it’s mostly used by people looking for support or answers.
One thing to bear in mind is that general anaesthetic can make you feel very low, it can stay in your system for a while. Like you I also had to have 2 operations in one week and I couldn’t understand why I felt so low afterwards. It was only once a nurse explained about the effects of GA did that make some sense - and the feeling did gradually pass. Your body and mind have had a big shock, so you need to be very gentle and kind to yourself now. Take time to heal and let your mind process what has just happened.
Jo (Bas_B) and Tili have sent some lovely posts to you, I agree with all they say.
Keep chatting on here. Or you may want to access the “Someone Like Me” service on here if you would like additional support or to speak to someone who had the same diagnosis and treatment. Evie xx
So sorry you have had a unpleasant time, two op in one week, bless you. Hopefully you’re get your head around all of this sooner that you think, one day, one hour at a time.
Having a good chat with your consultant, also on this forum will make a big difference as we have all been there, therefore understand what happening to you.
Take care, keep us all posted, as we are always around and thinking of you.
with love and big hug Tili 🙋🏼
Hang in there, take one step at a time. It's doable and your team will support you every step of the way. They might have to rethink what they are going to do for you as more information becomes available to them but this is quite normal in my experience. It's just a bit more tricky to take on board when you're just getting your head around one lot of treatment to be told they need to do something else for you.
Moan away, it all takes some getting used to.
Just to give you a bit of my background - I had right mastectomy in 2013 followed by chemotherapy (neutropenia too) and then radiotherapy. I've had many ups and downs over the years. At the beginning I seemed to have a major melt down once a month or so. But here I am seven years later, six years on tamoxifen.
Even now it all seems a bit surreal. If the anaesthetist hadn't held my hand and been so kind I'd have run away in the pre op room I was so scared!
It will be a bumpy road but one you can handle -
PS Omg must add, just read through what i wrote and I'm sorry that is a very moany negative post 🙄 - this is not how I usually am at all! So anyway looking ahead... I guess this is going to be a harder road than i originally thought... even so, will try to be more positive in future! X
Sorry for the delay in an update ... The op didn't go so well really for a couple of reasons - they found cancer in the armpit (clear on the ultrasound so they weren't overly expecting it) so I was really upset about that. And then it didn't heal as planned so I had to have an emergency operation on Monday (I spent the whole of Saturday at the hospital trying to be seen by someone as I knew it wasn’t right 😔) - anyway I was lucky it got sorted quickly really when I saw my cons Monday morning and I feel better in myself so hopefully that's a sign it's healing ok this time.. But physically it's a bit of a different outcome to the original one and I feel a bit whacked from 2 ops in 2 weeks.
Also this week it's like my brain has only just caught up with what's going on and I've felt very low about both the surgeries and potential treatment ahead 😞 before the op it was said I would most likely not require anything other than hormone therapy - but since the op radiotherapy is almost for sure back on the cards and they have also now spoken about possibility of chemo 😞 I know so many ladies do go through this and I know it can all be ok still but quite honestly, I'm not really feeling it right now and I'm upset the goal posts keep moving 😞
Thanks for reading, any support or words of wisdom gratefully received xxx
Run4fun, Thinking of you, hopefully you operation went well and your not to uncomfortable. One day at a time, have lots of rest and make yourself number 1 at the moment, as Evie said when your feeling better let us all know how your getting on.
love and hugs Tili 🙋🏼
Love and hugs coming your way Run4fun, we will all be with you holding your hand virtually. We would love to hear from you when or if you feel like it after the operation - or if you need a last minute chat before you go off. Evie 😘😘
Thank you ladies for taking the time to write such helpful and supportive messages 😘 I really appreciate it and they have helped me feel less alone. I had to have some sort of injection for the lymph this morning at the hosp and am now back home before going back at midday to be admitted for the actual op. At the moment I am feeling quite calm but I also know this can change very quickly! Thanks again, your posts mean a lot 😘
Sounds like you need a big virtual hug. This is a scary time. It’s not just the diagnosis, it’s not just the surgery; there’s the shock, the fear of the implications of the diagnosis, all the what ifs...I imagine we have all felt emotional wrecks several times. But it is a simple fact - you are now committed to getting rid of breast cancer and ensuring it doesn’t rear its ugly head again. If you can, accept it and go with the flow. Don’t try to pack your head with facts and figures and stuff you don't need. Focus on the practicalities and, most of all, do everything you can to work on your emotional wellbeing. Crying is a very healthy response. I got panic attacks. Everyone involved in my hospital care was fantastic at minimising every chance of anything like panic occurring and, with that confidence in the team, I got through it. We all do.
Make sure you’ve plenty of loose, comfy, front-opening tops (I nicked a couple of my husband’s shirts) and front-buttoning pjs. Ask before the op if you’re likely to have a drain as that was a bit of a shock to me and I had no idea how to manage it (I have a fund of daft stories about me and my drain) But it’s only for a few days IF you have one. My other advice, since you mentioned your family, is to just let go and let someone else run the household. You can’t. You’ll be a bit sore, possibly carrying a drain about and spending a fair bit of time doing your exercises - essential from the morning after surgery! Trust other people to do what’s best.
I can recommend YouTube videos to plug into for an uninterrupted hour or before you go to sleep. I still swear by Progressive Hypnosis’s Manifest Healing as she has the most soothing voice but there are many by Michael Sealey and others and they do work (speaking as someone with panic disorder).
All the best for Friday and remember, being strong is not a pre-requisite for dealing with breast cancer. It’s also not always achievable. Acceptance, emotional wellbeing and resilience are far more useful in my book. Take care of yourself.
Run4fun - a big welcome to this lovely forum and a big hug from me too. I can really understand your wish to just run away - I did in fact try to run out of the room when I arrived to start chemo, but the lovely nurse who was with me persuaded me to come back, telling me I owed it to myself to throw everything at it. Unfortunately we can’t outrun this diagnosis, it comes with us as we run.
It’s very normal to feel as you do, anyone reading your post will totally understand. The best advice I received was to take one day at a time, or even one hour at a time when things were tough. And also to chat on here - you never need to explain yourself as everyone just gets it.
Our friends and family don’t really know what to say for the best, but they mean well when they tell us how strong and brave we are - but Shi makes a good point that we don’t have any option. One of my favourite Winnie the Pooh quotes says “Remember you are braver than you believe, stronger than you feel and smarter than you think”. I’m sending you strength as you go forward with treatment. If you have any questions ask away, and please continue to chat if it helps.
Run4fun, this message come with love and a big hug for Friday. When I had my op I couldn’t walk up the stairs to the department as my legs went to jelly, however you will be ok as soon as it’s all over. GOOD LUCK brave lady. Keep us posted.
love Tili x
Hi Run4fun, it’s a big thing to go through and everyone feels that you are brave but we have no choice. It’s what we have to do. We never asked to be this brave so don’t feel bad about crying. I cried for 2 weeks before and 2 years after my mastectomy. I’d go into work and hold myself together and then burst into tears as soon as I left the building. The healing takes time physically and mentally but it gets easier. I had a delayed reconstruction which made a huge difference. If you need to talk to someone call the Breast Cancer Now number at the top of this page. Everyone here is very understanding. Sending hugs. Xxx
This is my first post, I was diagnosed with grade 2 lobular cancer 3 weeks ago and will be having a mastectomy of my left breast on Friday. Friends/family who know keep saying I am so strong and doing so well. But I’m not feeling very strong at all really, mostly I feel like crying and running away! I do like to run and went on the treadmill earlier this eve to try lift my mood but I still keep having dark thoughts about the operation, what I will look like afterwards and worrying in case they find more in the lymph nodes 😕 I have 3 children and I’m also sad as I have to say goodbye to my eldest tomoro so he can stay with friends and go to school for the rest of the week while we shield. Thanks for reading xxx