Newly diagnosed and don’t really know how I’m feeling

Hi all,

I don’t really know where to start as I feel a bit all over the place at the moment! Was diagnosed on the 8th August with BC after finding a lump above my Breast implant (which I originally assumed was a pulled muscle lol) after further tests and biopsies I was told I was at stage 2 and they needed to get me booked in for scans, tests etc.

I had a holiday booked the next day so they told me to go away and have a good time and when I came back the process would start. I almost feel like I haven’t had a chance to breathe with all the tests and appointments going on, has anybody else felt like that?

They want to start chemo by next Friday and they’ve booked me in for pet scans and fertility treatment prior to this, i don’t have a partner or children at the moment but at 31 would like to think it would happen someday and the thought that this treatment could damage any chances that I have scares the life out of me!

My close friends and family know what’s going on but I didn’t know if anyone had experience of telling anybody else and how they dealt with it? I don’t want to announce it to people just I don’t want them to be scared to talk to me or if they see me to back away, like a pre-warning! Lol

I know I’m probably rambling on but I don’t think it’s properly sunk in yet, I feel like a mess but don’t want to show it to my family and friends in case they get upset too.

Any advice anyone has would be great :heart:

Becky

Hi Becky, sorry you find yourself here.  All over the place is normal for a little while.  Once your treatment plan is in place it gets easier.  Go away on that holiday and enjoy the freedom before treatment starts.  I’m 18 months on since diagnosis and doing really well now, getting on with life again.  I was stage 3 at diagnosis with a very large tumour and 9/12 lymph nodes so I hope that puts your mind at rest a little.  Here is my blog which has lots of coping tips which worked for me: Lifeafterlola.com

sendng hugs. Xxxxx

Sending hugs, Becky, what you describe is quite usual for all of us in the early days & being younger, there’s all the fertility issues to consider as well. It is a huge shock & is overwhelming in the early days.
There’s loads of support here, you’re not alone with it & there are certainly younger women in a similar position to yourself here.
It’s good your family & close friends know what’s happening, just go at your own pace with others & do what you’re comfortable with. You’re the one this has happened to & you do what you need to, to deal with it.
When you start treatment, do look at the ‘going through treatment’ thread & the monthly chemo threads, where you will be able to chat & get support from others going through similar.
There is also the helpline here if you need to talk things through.
ann x

Hi Ann

Thank you for messaging back, I’ve been reading some of the forums and info pages on here and can see how lovely and supportive everyone is, I feel a bit better reading other people’s experiences and how they’ve dealt with it. I know not everyone is the same but I’m sure that like lots of ladies on here it came as a big shock! It’s just all a bit overwhelming at the moment but I’m sure in time it will get better, it’s all just scary and new, got to put my big girl pants on and stay positive!

Xxx

Hi there, thank you for messaging back. Glad to hear you’re doing well! It helps (in the weirdest way) that there are other ladies who don’t know personally but have experienced and are experiencing the same thing as what you’re going through, it doesn’t make you feel as alone :heart:

Hi JaneBelinda thank you for messaging back, I’ve already made that mistake! Dr Google did not give me peace of mind at all, walked into an appointment yesterday crying my eyes out and the lovely nurse told me off (in a nice way haha) and to not read anything on there!

Does it really feel like it goes quick? I’m really dreading the chemotherapy, I don’t want to sound vain but it’s just the changes that scare me!

Hi Becky,

I’ve sent you a private message as we’re the same age and I’ve also had to deal with the fertility issue. Please feel free to get in touch if it would be helpful for you to speak with someone in a similar situation.

It’s a lot to take in, but this forum has been a godsend.

Caroline x

Hi Becky

 

I don’t think your vain at all. You’re a young, single woman. I didn’t need chemo, but I’d have been bothered by hair loss etc. too, as a single 46 yr old, at the time. But I’ve seen women who I didn’t realise were wearing wigs until they told me, because they looked so fabulous. There are loads of women (unfortunately) on the chemo threads, who are full of useful tips and ideas about what to do, have some good chats and fun with even.   

Also, I understand you not wanting to upset people, but the poeple who really care about you, would prefer you to be open about how you’re feeling, however a mess you feel. They will want to lovingly support and care. This is a major traumatic thing for anyone to go through, so learn to lean on them, and ask for help, be that physically or mentally. My Mum (bless her) and a few good friends were absolute rocks. Plus, it’s nice to get a bit of light relief too.

Yes, this Forum’s invaluable, so use it as much as you will or can. Great for sharing feelings, experiences, advice. Don’t be afraid to have a good moan, rant or sob. You’ll get lots of sympathy, support, and no doubt a few laughs too.

Golly - you’ve got a lot to get through before Friday then, if you’re to have fertility treatment, I presume to harvest some of your eggs. Glad you’ve decided to go for it, as you may have regretted it had you not. Better to have the option there, just in case.

Good luck with it all, darlin. Keep posting to let us know how you’re going on, coping or not.

Lots of love and good wishes

Dellywelly xxxxxx  

I really appreciate all of your messages and kind words, it really does help to speak to other ladies going through or sharing past experiences, it makes you feel like you’re not on your own so much!

Already a few days in, this forum has helped greatly and even just reading some of the blogs that people have written it all helps to see a different side to things that I wouldn’t have seen before.

Ive looked at some of the YouTube videos on wigs, make up etc and the ladies look fantastic! Whatever will be will be, so will take each day as it comes and go from there. I’ve found the more I try to take it all in the more it goes in one ear and out the other lol.

Thank you again ladies, I feel a lot better about it all.

Xxx