Hi Shelton ,Christmas is a challenge not a pleasure when all is not well isn't it .Will your Mum be spending Christmas Day elsewhere, if so you could always have flu /migraine and absent yourself from the Christmas celebrations at home, eat chocolate leftovers and watch tv in bed ! we lost my Mum shortly before Xmas one year and my father in law the next year same time , it's very tough gritting your teeth and getting through it .You are having to deal with such a lot you would be forgiven for managing it in anyway you feel helps you survive .When you start chemo join one of the monthly threads you will get loads of good advice and support there .Jill x
I was diagnosed this autumn after just getting a winter work contract that I had been after for years, and starting a Phd at a late stage in life and was all set with all systems go to prove myself to deserve a permanent contract with the University of Portsmouth.
When I was recalled for further screening after a routine screening I was not annoyed, I was enraged. And right until the diagnosis and beyond, I was fuming: 'Why now! of all the ****ing times in my life, why now?
And yes, other emotions will follow. In my case not fear, but depression.
My father died two days before my lumpectomy, and I am trying not to tell my mother, as it turned out that my lymph nodes were not clear and I now need to have them removed. And chemo, and radiotherapy. How do you tell a woman after losing her husband of sixty two years that her daughter has cancer?
On top of all this,it is my partner's 'big Christmas' as his son is home from abroad for the first time in five years, and its all a big get together with his daughter, her new partner, the ex-wife and her third husband, cos the precious son lives in Japan and they don't see the grandchildren.
I am seeing my mother for the whole of Christmas eve and tempted to stay and not come back for
Coping? I don't know how to do this.
good luck, and whether you are still annoyed or your emotion has moved on remember we are all in a state of annoyed, or angry, or scared, or depressed, or desperate, or finally acceptance.
Any emotion is acceptable.
I wish you any easy journey through this.
How are you doing? Have you started chemo and did you get your results back from the gene test? I hope you are doing well and that you got good news.
Welcome to the forum...the fantastic club, no one would chose to join!
It's good that you seem to have taken this on the chin so far, we all respond to life's thrills and spills differently, and as I'm sure you appreciate our response can change over time. If you haven't already, I'd suggest you tell some close friends, just in case your feelings change from annoyance to anything else (which is likely to happen at some point in time).
It can end up being bit of a roller coaster of a journey however you will find loads of good advice on the forum, other women who are either going through it or who have popped out the other end to share ouu's, ahh's and the odd argh with, plus guidance documents on the website generally.
Just so you are aware, you can send messages to a nurse on the questions to nurses section, there's a younger women's group and area on the forum, plus a phone line to speak to someone at Breast Cancer Care for any advice (including a nurse), and/or to be put in touch with someone who is going through, or who has gone through a similar type of diagnosis and treatment.
Loads of us here for if/when the annoyance morphs into any other emotions. You may even find a few other snowboarders (albeit on a break)!
Seabreeze (5 years on and logging on to give back!)
I’m Azura, I’m 43 and I’m in Bristol. Found recently a lump, just a little bean-like thing, and have been going through all the rigmarole over the last two or three weeks. Was diagnosed last week with a 1.5cm grade 3, lymph nodes are clear, and found out yesterday it’s a triple negative. The MRI I had Tuesday showed nothing anywhere else, which was a relief. Should be seeing the oncologist next week about starting chemo, as they don’t want to do the surgery yet pending the results of a gene test (means the difference between a lumpectomy, and the full goodbye boobs).
How am I feeling about it all? Well, not too bad, actually. The clinic have been insistent that it’s been caught early and is very treatable, so I’m surprisingly relaxed and positive, just a bit irritated that it’s happened and I’ve got months of hassle and feeling blah ahead as a result. I’ve only just learned to snowboard, so that’s that probably knocked on the head for a while. Fun and games, eh? 🤷🏻♀️