Newly diagnosed reading

[Tricks24]

Evening 

Got my results on Monday invasive lobular ER+ in 2 maybe 3 sites, MRI tomorrow and a meet with breast care nurse to talk thro surgery options and real life outcomes.  Feels like it’s happening to someone else at the moment, at 47 been relatively fit & healthy.......GP and 1st dr at clinic thought lump was dense tissue, it was but my 1st ever mammogram found the little bleeders!!  Been in a ‘is this is really happening?’ bubble this week with hubby cos been on ‘holiday’ both back to work tomorrow so the whole who and what to tell people building up trying not to pressure myself to do everything quickly - time to reflect!!  Glad I’ve found you guys to take this journey with, one step at a time 👋🏼 xx  I find the Calm app really helpful with anxiety control and sleep 💤 Need to get back into that habit and truly start putting myself at No 1 Priority - not one of my natural strengths!!!

[Jukat]

I totally understand everything you just said!

I haven't spoken to my sister for a couple of years but she turned up on my doorstep crying....really who does that help?....I haven't cried so that wasn't what I needed 🙄

Unfortunately I work in an environment where we deal with medical devices and I used to work in theatre so when it comes to diagnosis and surgery it's sort of run of the mill....though I am not usually on the patient side.

I do apologise...me head is all over the place!

xx

[ZippyZoo]

Sorry, didn't realise how long my reply was! 

[ZippyZoo]

Evening Julia, it really does help when someone is going through same and gets it. Well, i had a dilemma on who to tell. When my friend had cervical cancer last year she wanted to tell everyone then found that quite stressful as lots of people came out of the woodwork and she felt she had to reply to messages and offer reassurance to others which was quite draining. That influenced the decision for me anyway. I know some people like lots of people to know and thrive from that support. So it really is very individual i think.

For me I've only told need to know and close supportive friends/family with strict instructions not to tell anyone else who knows. I don't mind them discussing with people they know (but don't know me directly) or who have had same experience themselves.  I have found explaining quite exhausting after a while (probably cos i go into too much detail!!) but I've also told those that know what support i need from them right now i.e no violins or dramatic reactions and tears. I may need different support as I ride the roller-coaster of course but they know I'll tell them and so far so good.

As for work I've told my direct manager and team leader but no one else. I've had to cx things and just said to colleagues I've got to have an op on my shoulder!! Bad mistake!! I'm not good at lying or not being upfront but think have valid reasons for this. Only problem is colleagues are asking what's up with my shoulder, out of concern, and I've not thought that far ahead 🤣🤣🤣. The friends that do know find this very funny of course!! My cervical cancer friend also joked if people don't know what the real reason is i might not get a collection and card at work 🤣🤣🤣. A collection and card is not top of list it has to be said! 

At moment for me I'm still determined to keep it among the close, supportive and need to know. That works for me at moment. I'll just have to do some research on some convincing shoulder problem 🤣🤣

Catherine xx

[Jukat]

ZippyZoo it's like you are in my head!! It's so good to hear from someone who is going through the same thing at the same time!

I have been fine for the last couple of days then the dreaded letter landed this morning with the details of what they found and since then I have had about 3 crying outbursts!

But I refuse to let this push me down! That's it...no more tears!

Can I ask have you told many people and what you have done about work?

I didn't tell anyone anything until yesterday but with every person that knows I feel it's a burden lifted (don't quite know how that works!)

XX

[ZippyZoo]

Hi Julia, yes of course you can join the convo. We are all totally new to this too. Its like I've landed on another planet really!! Totally agree with you on the humour front. When i got my results i went straight to pub with some friends for some stiff drinks and we laughed and joked (one friend had had cervical cancer a year ago but came through that all good thankfully but it helped having her there having gone through something similar) and had a few tears, not too many though as we dealt with it with humour which is exactly what i want to do. Laughter is medicine and all that.

Im 52 next month and was my first routine mammogram too. Letter to Dr also made it more real. Many women have told me it's like a roller-coaster. I was fine first two weeks then having a few up and down days, mainly I'm positive but i don't think it's possible to always be positive as you have to release the emotions when you need to. 

So many women have come through this and got back on with their lives so we can get through this xx

[Jukat]

Hi ladies, can I join this small and select group please?

I had my diagnosis on Wednesday, invasive lobular breast cancer Grade 2. Had an MRI yesterday to see the extent to which it has invaded my breast before they decide on lumpectomy or mastectomy. This is like a bolt out of the blue as it was picked up on my first routine screening (I am 52) and I had convinced myself it it was nothing...fibrous tissue or an anomaly because I feel well in myself...so have been in shock ever since.

I have made jokes about it, telling my husband to make the most in case they lob one off, because I would rather laugh my way through this rather than cry and now today I received my letter to my doctor informing him of the situation and have had a couple of fits of tears. I'm supposing this is all normal and everyone is different?

I really hope you ladies are soldiering through! We are women - we are strong!

Julia x

[ZippyZoo]

Hi Janbabs, thank you so much for sharing this, that's really reassuring. This sounds very much like how they are expecting mine to turn out. I was hoping they could whack me over the head without me knowing to knock me out 🤣🤣 but joking aside i have accepted what needs to be done and practising relaxation and positive mantras. I'm focusing on fact the team are there to do their very best for me so that way of thinking is managing to keep my nerves at bay to some degree and focus on the good things. 

I will think of what you have said about how well you have come through things (all things considered) when I'm waiting for the op. This will be another positive to focus on. Thank you. 

Great to hear you are doing so well so onwards and upwards xx

[Janbabs]

Hi all

After seeing these posts I thought it might be helpful to share my recent experience. I was newly diagnosed on 27 January following a routine mammogram with primary Grade 2 ductal invasive cancer, Oestrogen positive, HER negative. I too found it very difficult getting my head round it. I was scheduled for a lumpectomy and sentinel node biopsy on 11 February but this was delayed due to high blood pressure. During the pre-op period I was very scared, anxious and worried as I had never had surgery or a general anaesthetic before. I had the surgery on 4 March and all went well. I arrived at the theatre unit at 7am, went to theatre at 1pm and came home at 7pm.  The worst bit is the waiting, and not knowing what is going to happen, but I was fine, and it wasn’t half as bad as I imagined and such a relief when I woke up in recovery and the nurse said “all done”. The nursing staff, consultant and anaesthetist were amazing.  
My pathology report said the tumour was removed with clear margins and lymph glands clear. I was staged as 1a.  I have since in May had 5 sessions of radiotherapy, the machine they use looks a bit daunting, a bit like a giant Kenwood mixer but once you are positioned and it’s all happening it’s not scary at all.  I had to learn deep breath inspiration technique as my lump was on the left side but that is easy as well.

I consider myself fortunate that I do not have to have chemotherapy but am taking Letrozole for 5 years and began taking Ibandronic acid but that gave me some unpleasant side effects so I am having Zolendronic acid IV on 3 July hoping that the same doesn’t happen. Other than that I have survived the journey to date very well. It sometimes feels like I have been watching a film, or I will wake up and it was all a dream, but I am getting better at accepting it.  I am much more relaxed now when I receive a letter from the hospital for appointments and know each stage is another step to booting cancer out. I wish you all the best, keep positive x

[ZippyZoo]

Hi Tizzy, yes it's so common and we have some of the best available treatments. I was actually relieved when they told me as i was expecting the news so relief was it is grade 1 etc and treatable. Also been amazed at the care and support out there for us. I am accepting of it as i think it was as likely to be me as anyone else (though thought of the op seems to be my biggest challenge at moment but I'm getting my head around that now) and feel i need to roll with things as that will make it easier and trust the team looking after me so there are lots of positives. Each appointment/treatment is a step closer to having it dealt with. Best of luck to you too x

[Tizzy]

Hi Zippyzoo, I know what you mean about getting nervous. I'm trying to be very matter of fact about it all, but as it's getting closer (and all the paperwork arrived this morning) I find the nerves are starting to kick in. I must admit though that I'm saying the word 'cancer' and 'breast cancer' because I refuse to be scared of a word. This is a very common disease and for me, I just need to acknowledge it and know I am getting the best treatment possible to get rid of it. (I know this might be more of a struggle as my treatment takes place, but it's helping me right now).  Good luck x

[ZippyZoo]

Hi Princess22, mine was caught on a routine mammogram and I don't think I would have even have felt otherwise. From biopsy etc they say its small and slow and doesn't appear to have gone to lymph modes so I'm holding on to that. But i know even if it has by time I have op it's still treatable. These last two weeks i feel I've had a crash course in all this new terminology and the world of bc but generally I'm feeling positive with everything that they throw at bc to treat it xx

[ZippyZoo]

Hi Tizzy, my op is 9th July. Never been ill or ever had a general before so when I'm reading all these letters I'm now getting from hospital it's like reading about someone else!! Was terrified at thought of general and surgery but now I'm less afraid (that is going to change closer it gets for sure) but know i need to let the experts do their thing and get rid of this thing. First week after dx i told everyone to not even say the words breast cancer as i had to get my own head around it first. So yes very surreal x

[Tizzy]

Hi there, I'm in the same boat. Just been diagnosed and I'm having surgery on 2 July. Being positive and reading the information the hospital and breast care team have given me, but it's all a bit surreal at the moment. I've signed on here, as some of the literature I've been given has come directly from Breastcancercare so I thought it was the best place to go for information and support. I think I'll be visiting these pages quite a bit now.

[Shi]

❤️Sorry you all find yourselves on here, glad you have reached out to Breast Cancer Now, please do use the someone like me option, ask the nurse option and the threads as you progress through treatments ❤️ step by step you will get through, trying to process it all at once can feel like being chucked out of a plane with no parachute. Do reach out on here 👭 everyone is here for you as much or as little as you need ❤️ and together through ❤️😁🤣😳👭 you step by step get each other through, everyone understands and will listen, help and support, it’s what Breast Cancer Now is, kindness, love and support and 1001 things in between ❤️always 💕💕✨✨Shi xx

[Princess22]

Hi I'm new here, just been diagnosed with micropapillary breast cancer which is invasive been told not in my major organs but have had to have another biopsy as three lymph nodes are swollen maybe due to the first biopsy. Have to have chemo first then mastectomy getting scared now xx

[ZippyZoo]

Hello littlemo, this is my very first post here as I'm new too so I'm not even sure how this all works but thought I would reply as can see you've not had any replies as yet. I was diagnosed with a small grade 1 about 2 weeks ago from a routine mammogram (I'm 51). To keep my anxieties at bay I've been reading lots of positive posts on here, I've also found other stories of women who've been diagnosed the same in the past and have had positive outcomes so I've been focusing on that. I also personally know quite a few women who have same diagnosis and even further along some 15/20 plus years ago and are now thriving. Hope that helps somewhat. Happy to chat anytime as appears we are both very new to this. Catherine xx

[LITTLEMO]

Please can anyone recommend a book/books to read to help alleviate the anxiety of being newly diagnosed with primary breast cancer or simply cancer? Survival stories? Reading that will make me feel less anxious and more positive!