I have been diagnosed with a 20mm malignant mass and a benign calcification mass. I have had biopsies and an MRI and I go back for the results and discussion for the next steps this week . A lumpectomy and mastectomy were discussed previously but as my bmi is high I don’t think I could have reconstructive surgery straight away . I feel very calm about the diagnosis as If it is not happening to me. My family are very supportive but I feel numb like it’s not happening to me .
I really don’t know what is the best option. I have large boobs and I seem to be more affected by the thought of being uneven than actually having cancer. Is this normal to feel so detached ? I don’t know how i am supposed to feel , pleased it’s been caught early and not in my lymph nodes or upset as I have cancer.
its such a confusing and strange place to be, I feel lost .
i am hoping that by sharing how i feel and hopefully reading others experiences might help me make a decision.
First of all, welcome Masilira, although, you’d rather not be here of course.
What you describe is common to most of us, as getting a bc diagnosis is a shock & among other feelings, it can feel like it’s happening to someone else. In the early days of diagnosis, it can help just to go with it, take it an appointment at a time & try not to get into the ‘what ifs.’
It sounds like you need more info first on what’s recommended for you. There’s plenty of time to make decisions, so do make a list of things you want clarified at the next appointment.
It’s the shock of diagnosis & uncertainty that’s hard to handle initially, but honestly, this does settle down when your treatment plan is in place & you know where you’re going with it.
Between us all here, we’ve been through everything that bc can throw at us, so do use the forum for any support you need.
You will find a great deal of support on here and it is confusing in the early days. Once you know what you are dealing with life gets much easier. When I first came here I was nervous and worried about the journey ahead - we all are. You will be getting a treatment plan and come back with it so we can point you in the right direction. I had to have the whole works as in surgery, chemo, radiotherapy and a drug called Herceptin.