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Not the best Easter!

10 REPLIES 10
Seabreeze
Member

Re: Not the best Easter!

Hi ktk,

 

You are welcome, pleased to help.

Well done for telling your husband!

Let us know if you have any more q's or think we can help re any wobbles.

 

I hope your appointment goes as well as possible next week.

 

Seabreeze

XX

ktk
Member

Re: Not the best Easter!

Thank you so much for the support and advice. I have spoken to the nurse and I will have to wait until the clinic next week to get the biopsy results and talk about a plan.

You will be pleased to know that I have told my husband.

Thank you so much and good luck with your treatment too. xxx
Seabreeze
Member

Re: Not the best Easter!

Hi kit,

 

Welcome to the forum and sorry that you have had cause to join all the fantastic women on the forum!

 

1 - Tell your husband, don't wait. I'm sure you would want him to tell you asap, if something was up with his health rather than yours. You need support from someone close to you at home, plus you might want to consider asking either him or a friend to go with you when you get the results of the biopsy. Often they tell you what initial treatment you need at that stage/meeting. 

 

2 - Obviously it's a personal thing, but it is a good idea to tell a close friend, preferably one who is not too prone to panic, for support. It is really important just to be able to talk about how you feel (even if it's about not feeling while in shock!)

 

3 - While you won't receive the full diagnosis until the medics receive the results of your biopsy, you have been informed that you have breast cancer so you become protected by disability legislation. This however only kicks in once you have informed your employer. I would suggest you inform your manager now, keeping the info short, letting them know the oncologist has informed you that you have breast cancer and that you will update them once you know what the initial treatment plan is. Also inform your GP.

 

4 - In light of the diagnosis, and absorbing it, do you feel up to being at work now? And are you sleeping well enough?

Go and see your GP and discuss matters. While physically you may feel fine, just tired and mind whirling, you now need to adjust your mind to thoughts of focusing on health, being as well as possible, so that you can get through treatment as well as possible. If that means your GP signing you off sick due to breast cancer, that is fine. 

 

5 - Re whether to tell work colleagues - personal choice whether to tell colleagues after telling your employer and most likely not a decision you can easily make right now. I waited until I had full biopsy results, and treatment plan and felt ready to inform colleagues. Clearly it is up to you whether colleagues are informed you are off sick - full stop, or why or anything else.

I wrote an email saying I had been diagnosed, would be off having treatment, asked people not to say sorry (since it made me cry!), that I would return, and a cup of tea now and then after my return would be appreciated. I also added a para reminding people to check their breasts and pointing out that all the men know women! I then asked the head of my department to email the message with a very brief cover line to a list of colleagues. 

 

6 - You may find it best not to be too prescriptive re timescales - once you know your initial  treatment plan keep it to initial treatment x commencing in month y. While I appreciate the school will need to know re cover, that is their responsibility, and you/your health now has to be your priority and you need flexibility since you may need a number of treatments.

 

I hope that helps - apologies if it sounds a bit like a shopping list! In your own time, one day at a time.

 

xxx

Seabreeze 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Anne30
Member

Re: Not the best Easter!

I am also a teacher and have been diagnosed. Waiting for a plan. It’s very hard. I’ve told my school and they have been very supportive indeed. Best wishes and stay strong
Gill3105
Community Champion

Re: Not the best Easter!

Hi Ktk. Do tell hubby it will help and he will help with the emotional roller coaster. I to had a long wait in clinic as yourself. It was results day and the nurses apologised for the delay. It was only after I had received my results that I could see why they were behind. I took up over 1.5 hours of their time as I hypo ventilated and went into complete melt down. But that time was mine and the nurses were brilliant. You will find this forum very supportive with some amazing ladies who have been through, and going through exactly what we are going through. Even if you don’t say anything and just read it will help. We are strong cookies. Scream and shout on here as much as you like because there will e someone who has felt or is feeling exactly the same. This forum has helped me a lot after being diagnosed last week and now on countdown to surgery but boy time is dragggggging so much. So much so and on a lighter note I went out and bought a fit bit as pacing the house that much I wanted to know by how much. Speak soon and take care
Michelle21
Member

Re: Not the best Easter!

Hi ktk
I also found out on Thursday, although I was going back for biopsy results so took my husband with me. I cannot imagine how you have coped not telling your husband. Hopefully he is back from his running comp and you have been able to tell him. My youngest daughter is doing A levels so I totally get where you are coming from with your son. We haven’t told anyone yet, I think the longer I can put off telling my kids the less worry and stress for them. But like you say there will come a point when it’s too difficult to hide.
Stay in touch on here, I have found it so helpful just knowing others are feeling the same emotions can help x
ann-m
Community Champion

Re: Not the best Easter!

Hi Ktk,
What a shock for you & as Bella & Jo say, do tell your husband, he will notice somethings up anyway & you will need his support.

Things do move quite quickly once you’re diagnosed & soon you will have some idea what the treatment plan is likely to be & will be able to plan what you want to do about work. We do vary on this, I’m in the NHS, so not having had time off for years, I certainly took it this time!

The early days of diagnosis tend to be the worst as it is a shock & the uncertainty in waiting for results is difficult, but this does pass, it does get better & it will get sorted out.
Thank goodness you acted promptly in getting it seen to.

Although you would obviously prefer not to be here, glad you found us & do come back here as you need to.
We’ve all been where you are now & come out the other side.
ann x
Jobey68
Member

Re: Not the best Easter!

Hiya I completely agree with Bellas mum, please tell your husband for his sake as well as yours, mine would have been devastated had I kept this to myself. You will need his support , this is not your fault and although we all feel guilty having to break this kind of news to our family's they would be sadder to be kept in the dark trust me! 

Work is another area that you shouldn't worry about, I actually didn't take much time off but that was my choice, depending on what treatment you will need you may not need months off, I had my lump removed and then 3 weeks of radiotherapy, I took two weeks off after my op but worked though treatment as I felt fine and was happier keeping things as normal as possible but I was never under any pressure to go in. 

 

The clinic should have given you an appointment to go back for your results instead of telling you they would be in touch, I would hope you would receive a date this week to go in. I was told what day to expect a call as they thought my biopsy would come back clear but it didn't and they had to tell me over the phone that I had cancer which is something they really don't like to do. 

 

Please don't apologise to us for getting things off your chest , we are here to help and support you Xx Jo 

ktk
Member

Re: Not the best Easter!

Thank you so much for replying. Because I have had no one to talk to it all seems unreal and I am beginning to doubt what I was told. Hopefully it will be clearer when I talk to the clinic next week. I just don’t know how to tell my husband.
Bellas Mum
Member

Re: Not the best Easter!

Hi

 

Talk to your husband love, he needs to know and don't attend appointments on your own. You need someone there to help you compute the information you are being given.Talk to your work colleagues. Mine have been so supportive. If you can keep going to work do so, I have found it helps to take my mind off things.

I had the biopsy, mammogram and ultrasound. Have also had an MRI earlier  last week. They have said lumpectomy followed by radiotherapy. Once you know what you are dealing with and have a plan you will be clearer.

You will need time off afterwards and I have been told that it will be about 4 months. People are so supportive so share with who you want. Obviously being teacher you will have to tell the Head etc but you will be supported. You cant carry this all by yourself. You may not need a mastectomy.

 

Use the forum as it is a great source of information. You have had the news we all dread and it takes some sinking in. xx

ktk
Member

Not the best Easter!

Hi, I just wanted to get this out in the open.  Two weeks ago I felt a lump.  I went to the GP, who wasn't too worried, but refered me to the clinic. I went on Thursday.  The initial exam was OK, told it looked OK, but I was sent for a mammogram and ultrasound.  The nurse said that I should go home after and they would be in touch.

 

After the mammogram and ultrasound, they did a biopsy, and then said that I should go back down to the clinic.  My initial appointment was 3.30, and I was still waiting at 6.30!  I went back into the room and they said that I had BC.  The results of the biopsy will not come until after the Easter break, but someone would be in touch.  They gave me a BC nurse card, but said that there would be no-one there until Tuesday.

 

My husband and son (just taking his A levels) were going away for a running competition over the weekend, so I decided to say nothing so that I didn't ruin their weekend.  I think I will wait until I hear back from the clinic now until I tell my husband, and I don't want to worry my son with his exams so close.  Mind you he might notice if I have my boob removed!!

 

Because everything happened so late on Thursday prior to the BH, I have no idea what to expect.  How soon will I be treated?  How much time will I have to take off work (I am a teacher)?  Do I tell people?

 

Sorry for all of this, but I needed to tell someone!  I'll go into school next week and sort my office and classroom out!!  Thanks.