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Oh dear - struggling a bit!

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Re: Oh dear - struggling a bit!

Hi Shablah,

Thats fantastic news about your surgery - I’m praying that my lymph nodes are clear - that’s the part that is giving me terrible anxiety!

Im really not worried about radiotherapy or Anastrazole, but I’m worried about my staging post surgery. 

I intend to go back to work as soon as I can, hopefully! 
Good luck for tomorrow - keep us posted? X

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Re: Oh dear - struggling a bit!

Hi Posden,

We must never - I mean NEVER - Google again!! 😂

My day was awful after frightening myself and it took a lot of soul-searching / friend chats / shopping / doggy hugs to get me back on track!

Please feel free to PM me if you want to - I’m happy to chat & hopefully give you a cyber hug xx

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Re: Oh dear - struggling a bit!

Well it made me smile  !x

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Re: Oh dear - struggling a bit!

there used to be much stricter rules on posting photos they had to be vetted so I doubt many bums made it through !! 

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Re: Oh dear - struggling a bit!

Wait, what Jill, there's been other bums exposed on here? 🤣

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Re: Oh dear - struggling a bit!

Good for her - if that's how she wants to celebrate! Not my way of celebrating anything but hey ho each to their own 😂 

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Re: Oh dear - struggling a bit!

First bottom I've seen in 5 years ( on the forum ) ....

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Community Champion

Re: Oh dear - struggling a bit!

Well Bertie and Sophie are celebrating her getting cancer free so wanted to share their celebration with the world.

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Re: Oh dear - struggling a bit!

Shi - I've just seen the bottom - you must have been psychic !!! Don't think it will be there long 😳

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Re: Oh dear - struggling a bit!

I can SO identify with you Nannyof2. I consulted Dr Google and put myself into a state of acute anxiety which I'm still struggling to come back from. 

It's so tempting - but we really don't need the kind of negativity and scaremongering which the internet is so full of. Every case is different and only those dealing with us personally can comment on it with any real knowledge. 

We should police each other- give a heads up when someone's tempted to Google 😥

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Re: Oh dear - struggling a bit!

Jill a bottom has just been flashed on a new thread 😳

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Re: Oh dear - struggling a bit!

Thank you Jill1998. I will ask the doctors about exercise on Tuesday. I know that's who I should ask. I'm just getting ahead of myself. There is just so much waiting time when you have this. Is it any wonder we are all driven bonkers - almost! 😉

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Re: Oh dear - struggling a bit!

Hi Shablah ,I'm glad my posts helped you - people did the same for me when I first joined the forum and it helped me so much and I never forgotten how much better it made me feel .Im sorry you are having a wobbly day too  - I hope you get good news on Tuesday.I didn't get my HER2 result for a while either so I really didn't know what to prepare myself for mentally /practically for a few weeks - the anxious waiting is awful. I drove myself to radiotherapy most days ( 20 miles ) -It was manageable but I couldn't have worked it was more mentally rather than physically I

would have struggled .You could ask your Oncologist about yoga - probably depends on how well

you are healing when you can do certain types of exercise .

 

 

 

 

 

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Re: Oh dear - struggling a bit!

Hi Nannyof2 

 

I'm also having a wobbly day, yet again!! I had surgery (which I was terrified about) at the end of December having been diagnosed at the beginning of December. I'm the same as you, stage 2, grade 2 ICS, but I had good news, that they got good margins and it hadn't spread into my lymph nodes. I was so relieved, grateful and so happy for that news but now that short lived relief has passed as I'm on to the next thing to worry about which is an appointment with oncology on Tuesday. I still don't know if I'm HER2 positive or not yet but as far as I know the next stage for me is radiotheraphy. I'm hoping it stays that way, even though I'm worrying about radiotheraphy now 🤦‍♀️

 

Jill1998 answered my first posts and I found it a huge help, so thank you Jill1998. Your experience and reassurance and knowing someone is there and answering your queries and helping you with your fears is amazingly helpful, please keep supporting us newbies! 😘

 

I have been reading the ladies posts on the radiotheraphy thread and I'm amazed so many of them have been able to drive themselves to and from the hospital and some have even gone on to work a normal day through their treatment, which I find quite extraordinary as I'm still not fully functioning mentally at the moment.

 

I'm looking forward (I'm really trying to) and doing the exercises religiously at the moment. I've walked for miles this week (totally aimlessly) going nowhere in particular. I wonder if anyone has any idea when I could start gentle (very gentle) yoga? I'm two weeks post op, is that enough time to wait? I'm still sore but I really want to do as much as possible to help myself. If anyone has any advice about exercising that would be great. Xx

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Re: Oh dear - struggling a bit!

All you can do is take one day at a time at the moment and try to keep as much normality and routine as you can .You will be able to get advice and support in the going through treatment sections of the forum if you want some reassurance about your surgery x

 

 

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Re: Oh dear - struggling a bit!

It’s wonderful to hear people say ‘mine was 5 years ago’ etc! It gives me strength to feel that I can do this and be ok - I’m in my early 60s, but still working and I love to garden, walk, read and sew. 
At the moment I can’t see beyond the week ahead and I’m apprehensive about surgery - although it will be a massive relief to get rid of my booby lumps! 👏🏻

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Re: Oh dear - struggling a bit!

The middle of the night is the worst time - the 4am blackbird was my best friend for the first few weeks ( it was summer time ) .It does get easier and wobbly days get less frequent .I always used to think how amazing it was people further down the line with treatment on the forum were talking about making plans ,doing everyday things almost as if they weren't living with cancer but you do get used to it and find a way to live with what's happening so fear and anxiety don't spoil your life .

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Re: Oh dear - struggling a bit!

Jill, that’s a very good point you make - I was diagnosed just before Christmas and of course was surrounded by people over the festive season. I still felt very, very alone with my diagnosis and kept up a pretence of ‘business as usual’, rather than upsetting everyone!

In the privacy of my room and during the night was a different thing though 😔 xx

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Re: Oh dear - struggling a bit!

Shi -I've not actually seen anyone flashing their bottom on the forum (yet )! 

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Re: Oh dear - struggling a bit!

Who wouldn't be floored sometimes by a cancer diagnosis ,its blooming scary !!! You mention about living alone - I think cancer is quite a lonely experience even if you have people around you all the time  as it's very hard forrhose who haven't been through this to understand how it feels - how could they ? I found tremendous support from this forum when I was first diagnosed almost 5 years ago now and I still keep in touch with a group of ladies I met through the forum -so when you are having a wobbly day come here -we understand x

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Re: Oh dear - struggling a bit!

Thank you Jill - it’s good to know I’m not being a diva!! 
My bottom lip has been very wobbly today, but I forced myself to go shopping for some gorgeously soft (front buttoning) PJs and an overnight bag ☺️
I agree keeping busy is important when I’m in ‘implosion’ mode - luckily I’ve got a busy week approaching xx

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Re: Oh dear - struggling a bit!

Thank you Jan, you’re absolutely spot on when you say our ‘safe world’ has gone and I definitely am grieving for my former good health 😢

My beautiful grandchildren are adorable and make me smile & my grownup children are wonderful. I know I’ve got a lot to be grateful for.

Im still working and that occupies a lot of my time and I’ve got good friends, but living alone gives me time to venture into books & Google 🙈

Ive definitely learnt the hard way!

Surgery is looming and hopefully I’ll get some good news about lymph nodes 🙏🏻
Once again - thank you SO much! Xx

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Re: Oh dear - struggling a bit!

Hi Nannyof2 ❤️ It’s all part of the rollercoaster my lovely, hang on tight and ride through the ups and dips and the when your tummy goes up into your mouth (like when you go over the top of the dip on the rollercoaster and it feels for a second you are weightless) you’ve others on that rollercoaster too with you, laughing, crying, shouting, screaming, doing the Mexican wave and trying to flash their bum at the roller coaster camera and whatever else to get through, there’s all of us squirting superglue at you from the sides to keep you safely on seat till you can ring your finish bells ❤️❤️ 👭❤️ You’ve everyone on here, you can speak, 😁, 😡 anytime ❤️💕💕shi xx

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Re: Oh dear - struggling a bit!

We all have days like that when first diagnosed .You can be doing fine then sudddenly fear and panic sweeps in.Its best to keep busy on days like that if you can.It does get easier and it helps when you know the full picture and you can get on with your treatment and you feel like you are doing something to get rid of the cancer.

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Re: Oh dear - struggling a bit!

Hi Nannyof2 (how lucky you are)

 

I’m so sorry this is an anxious time for you. First of all, you have learnt the hard way that Google is not your friend. Most of the info is out of date or beyond our (uninformed) comprehension and statistics are completely unhelpful, as my breast care nurse got me to appreciate. Please keep away from the temptation because what’s been seen can’t easily be forgotten. The nurses here are wonderful if you have any questions and can’t ask your team.

 

You’ve taken a huge blow - a frightening physical diagnosis which will be dealt with swiftly and surely, but less acknowledgment of the huge emotional trauma that comes with it. Bang goes that safe world you thought you lived in; along come uncertainties which are highly improbable but are still there. You are faced with scary decisions and the prospect of handing your body over to other people to sort out. And so many what ifs...

 

It’s a huge trauma and you need to make allowances for yourself as a woman and a human being - none of this ‘I should be strong’ nonsense. You need to look after your emotional wellbeing more than anything right now. Tears are good. Cuddles and laughter are good (yes, there’s a lot to laugh about if you look for it). Mindfulness, meditation, exercise, relaxation will all give you a respite from the anxiety and help you reduce your anxiety. 

 

I resorted to videos on YouTube. I’d plug in my earphones several times a day and listen to Progressive Hypnosis’s Manifest Healing or a Michael Sealey video or Good Vibes (binaural beats that actually DO reduce your stress). They saw me through surgery, a prolonged wait for treatment and all the treatments I had (the full menu). I’m not saying they were the cure for anxiety but they definitely helped and, 6 months on, I still use them when I can’t sleep or if I have a bad day.

 

It’s not a walk in the park ahead of you. But it really is all bearable. The hardest thing I found was the emotional aspect and that calls for ‘selfishness’ as you must put your needs first. It’s not selfish, it just feels like it. If you don’t want company, you say no. If you need a lift, you ask a friend. If the anxiety feels overwhelming, you ring your GP and ask for help. And you come on here and meet people who understand - soon you’ll be giving more advice than asking questions 🙂

 

Good luck with the op. Do those exercises - they are essential both short and long term!

 

Jan x

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Re: Oh dear - struggling a bit!

Thank you Shi, I really appreciate your reply 💖 Today is a wobbly day & Im feeling tearful - lots going on as well, but I haven’t helped myself at all by Googling and setting my brain firing off in all directions!

Really daft of me as I’ve been trotting along ok up to now.....

Im sure everyone has wobbly days and I know there will be a few more to come, but how I want this all to be over and sorted! 🙏🏻 Xx

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Re: Oh dear - struggling a bit!

Hi nanny of 2 ❤️Please step away from the google. We’ve probably all done it though in the start. Please phone the ask the nurse on here and the someone like me option. It’s easy to get 😲😲😲after google. Please soak to your team and your bc nurse too, they have seen it all before it’s just you are 😬😲😬😲 just take things a day at a time and treatments one at a time, step by step you will get through. We are all here 👭 😘💕💕Shi xx

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Oh dear - struggling a bit!

Hi everyone, (copied to this forum thread!)

After the initial elation of my biopsy results (not as ‘bad’ as I thought - HER2 negative, G2 IDC, surgeon ‘unsure’ whether I’ll need chemo or not - I’m in my 60s), I went and flipping Googled breast cancer stages and prognosis last night. Now I’m struggling with anxiety and convinced that I have advanced cancer (there were no nodes on the scan & he couldn’t feel any).

My surgery is in 2 weeks.

Ive been really positive up to now, but this has really knocked my confidence! 
Just need a hug and some positive stories please? Xx