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Overwhelmed

10 REPLIES 10
Mrsmillie
Member

Re: Overwhelmed

Hi Evie-S…..I appreciate you taking the time to comment, I know all the people on this forum have pretty much the same fears and panics at some stage…….it does help somewhat to know that you are not the only person out there living this nightmare.

I will certainly take a look at the book you mentioned as it does sum up what my husband tries his best to get through to me!

Thank you for your support, best wishes xx

Evie-S
Community Champion

Re: Overwhelmed

Hi Mrsmillie - I’m really sorry to read about your second diagnosis and how you are feeling, so first of all I wanted to send you a big hug. I’m not sure what I can add to the wonderful advice you have already received, but one book I have found very helpful is “The Cancer Survivor’s Companion” by Frances Goodhart and Lucy Atkins - it reminds us that fears are NOT facts. I think most people can relate to letting our minds race ahead and fearing the worst, I know I do even if I advise others not to!

I particularly agree with @sharlea comment about it taking a strong person to ask for help, and a stronger one to admit to feeling overwhelmed. What very lovely and true words.

I love that on this forum everyone can be themselves, it’s a safe and non judgmental place where no explanation is ever needed. We are all here to hold each other’s hands and support each other.

Evie xx

 

Eglis
Member

Re: Overwhelmed

So true.

Breast cancer has made me experience conflicting emotions all at the same time ..... happy/sad, positive/negative, etc.

Rollercoaster is spot on.

Mrsmillie
Member

Re: Overwhelmed

I know, I have posted positive comments to other posts on here and then 5 mins later wondered where that positive attitude has gone 🤷‍♀️…….it really is a total roller coaster of emotions.

Best wishes x

Eglis
Member

Re: Overwhelmed

I guess we all have wobbles here and there ..... I work really hard to keep myself positive but also have days when I’m less so.  Be kind to yourself..... take it step by step.

Don’t feel intimidated that we are all positive all the time.

sharlea
Member

Re: Overwhelmed

Hello Mrsmillie,

i think you have a great strength of mind. It takes a strong person to ask for help, an ever stronger one to admit they feel overwhelmed.

Yes, there are a lot of positive attitudes here, and they do help. I read some of those posts and they really help me feel better, and less scared about the future. I think, in some way, those ladies with such positive attitudes want us to feel better and treasure these nuggets of hope.

I, personally, have woken up in the early hours, more than a couple of nights, going through some bad thoughts, like a hamster on one of those wheels, not going anywhere. It left me really tired. I think that’s when I started to read some other posts on here and felt a little bit better. I can’t find the posts that talk about wanting to rush in to find out the worst. But remember reading some. You are not alone in your thoughts. Please try to treat yourself more kindly.

best wishes, sharlea, xx

Mrsmillie
Member

Re: Overwhelmed

Hi sharlea, thank you for taking the time to contact me. I think I’m racing ahead in my mind to the worse possible outcome and when I read the positive attitude of a lot of the ladies on this forum it makes me feel like I do not have the same strength of mind.

Best wishes to you xx

sharlea
Member

Re: Overwhelmed

Hello Mrsmillie, I know, it’s hard to not feel negative, but please try to worry less about dragging your family down. Perhaps, asking them for some things they could do, even daft things like singing to you, to help YOU cope, or practical things, that some people find easier, like shopping for a little bit of your favourite treat, or hubby hanging out the washing.

i had my first diagnosis in 1994. Two days ago, on Monday, I had my post op check up for my mastectomy surgery late May. New primaries, 28mm grade 3 invasive and high level non invasive, totalling 97mm, mastectomy was the only choice. 6 lymph nodes removed, all clear, ER+, HER2-. Now waiting for referral to oncology to discuss chemo, RT, anastrazole and biphosphonates.. and the genomics testing to gauge level of recurrence and benefits of chemo.

i wasn’t told about any CT scan, but do remember having a bone scan the last time. I think it’s to double check and should be a reassuring process, especially with clear lymph nodes. My surgeon told me that the clear lymph nodes were a really good indicator that it hadn’t spread, so I hope this can help you feel less negative. I feel that, if it hasn’t got past that sentinel node, then somehow, I couldn’t be riddled with it. Perhaps the scan is just to check your bone density. If post menopausal, could be biphosphonates prescribed, to help prevent spread to bones.

perhaps you could call your bcn, to have a chat about your worries. They would be happy just to talk with you, to reassure you, help you cope a bit.

wishing you all the best, sharlea, xx

 

Bernard_BCN
Community Manager

Re: Overwhelmed

Hi @Mrsmillie 

I am sorry you feel overwhelmed with these thoughts.

I found this link about managing stress and anxiety which may be useful, and this link about coping emotionally too.

We know that speaking to people who understand is often helpful, so if you ever feel like speaking to someone on our breast care team, one of our nurses will be happy to chat to you. You can reach us on freephone 0808 800 6000 (Mon-Fri 9am-4pm; Sat 9am-1pm).

Sending positive vibes your way

Bernard

Eglis
Member

Re: Overwhelmed

Ahh ..... tricky. 
Maybe try to shut off your thoughts/worries until you have concrete details.  Easier said than done.  I’m sure your family will understand your wobble.

My only helpful suggestion is yoga.... particularly the breathing exercises.  Maybe try Adriene on you tube.  She has a good anxiety one.

Wishing you all the very best.

Mrsmillie
Member

Overwhelmed

Hello all, I was diagnosed last week with bc….3cm, hormonal, lymph nodes clear…..was told probably mastectomy and then hormone meds, I felt I could cope with that diagnosis as I had experienced the same 26 years ago!…..However, I was also told I would need CT scan because of my past diagnosis. I had the scan today and am now totally overwhelmed with horrible negative thoughts, can’t shake the thought that I am riddled with ‘it’….. I feel pathetic and weak after feeling so positive this time last week. My family ( husband and 2 grownup children ) were beginning to feel at ease with the diagnosis and now I feel I will drag them all down with my negativity. Any coping suggestions gratefully received!

wishing you all well x