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Recently diagnosed and freaking out.

Pepsi
Member

Re: Recently diagnosed and freaking out.

Delly
Just got a date for my surgery 30th August please any info on how to get prepared ,am going for a mascetomy and reconstruction with my own tissue ,am a bit frightened but want this out Asap can't wait.🤞
delly
Member

Re: Recently diagnosed and freaking out.

Hi Girls

I'm an "oldie" in the BC sense, mastectomies 2006 and 2007 at 47, with total node clearance as pre SNB, part way through implant recon.

 

Avibaby - Glad your surgery went well. You're truly a force to be reckoned with, an inspiration with your positivity dear girl. May it continue throughout whatever treatments, but don't be afraid to tell the people on here if you have some "dips", need a vent or moan, as it's only natural. If we know, we can rally and boost you up again. Same goes to anyone else, this is a great place to get anything out on. I think you may get your results before week 4, usually about 2 wks over here. Stress also comes into the possible causitive factors, you mentioned adversities. I, like you was healthy, but went through a load of difficulties and a bereavement prior to, but who the hell knows !! 

Quaggie - Good luck with your surgery today. Wishing you speedy healing. With regards to your sleeping queries on another thread, it's to avoid any pulling to the sugery area. Make sure you take painkillers before you go to bed, even if it doesn't feel sore at the time, because you can bet if you don't, an awkward movement in the night will wake you up with an ouch.

Christina - Happy Birthday. Good people born on this day !, my dear Mum was one.

Hope you and Pepsi get your surgery dates soon.

SimoneePim - I think you may have clicked on the cancel button instead of the post one after you'd edited your last post?

Mai7 - Loved reading your story, beautifully written. Well done lady. Glad to hear you've fully recovered from you onslaught of treatments.

 

Lotsa love to everyone

Delly xxxxxxxx

Lilacmoon14
Member

Re: Recently diagnosed and freaking out.

Quaggie-Good luck for tomorrow and for gawd sake don't go having a cup of tea with milk, like I did before heading to the hospital!!
Xxx
Avibaby
Member

Re: Recently diagnosed and freaking out.

Quaggie - 

 

So nice to hear from you.

 

Sleep well.

 

Heal well.

 

Talk to you soon.

 

Avibaby

Avibaby
Member

Re: Recently diagnosed and freaking out.

Hi Cristina,

 

I am thinking of you today - August 8th is six days away - and finally you will be told about your treatment plan. 

 

I hope that you are taking walks and getting out of the house - what are the other things that you do to clear the cancer cobwebs out of your head?

 

Please don't fret too much about who will help your children. Hopefully your relative from Spain can come, but if not, they will learn to help themselves and you - instead of you helping them.

 

Lots of love to you.

 

Avibaby

Quaggie
Member

Re: Recently diagnosed and freaking out.

Hi Avibaby

 

I have to be up at 5.30am to be at the hospital at 7.30am tmrw so the only fun thing I’m doing tonight is dinner and (hopefully) sleep! 😂 

 

it’s Cristina that has the kids, not me (I think I would have noticed 😉) so no worries for me on that score. Just got to do the looking after myself bit once my bro has gone home on Sat as it’s just me at home. 

 

i’m very nervous - mostly because there’s going to be a lot of sitting around waiting which always gets me frustrated. But now I also just want it done so I can get busy with getting better.

 

glad to hear you’re swelling is going down and you’re feeling well. Hope your recovery continues apace. 

 

K xx

Avibaby
Member

Re: Recently diagnosed and freaking out.

Quaggie,

 

Tomorrow is your BIG day! Please do something fun tonight and maybe some exercise, too if you are having nerves. You MAY be pleasantly surprised to find that the experience is not so bad.

 

Here's a little post-op tip: I have had lots of post-op swelling which was scary but normal, so don't fret if you have this too. It is starting to recede today.

 

Hopefully you have been successful in getting help with your kids. If not, maybe they will learn to help you, instead of you helping them.

 

Lots of love to you.

 

Avibaby

Avibaby
Member

Re: Recently diagnosed and freaking out.

Yes, we can all do it, Pepsi. Especially you, you sound like you are really ready to kick butt!

Pepsi
Member

Re: Recently diagnosed and freaking out.

Hi Avibaby ,
Weldone girl we all can do it , am still waiting for my date for mascetomy and reconstruction can't wait to get dis kick out .when I have the time I will post every thing about me, I have posted before but not in details .keep strong darln we can do this*****
Quaggie
Member

Re: Recently diagnosed and freaking out.

So glad your surgery went well today Avibsby, you certainly sound perky enough 😂 Gives me courage for Fri.

But just make sure you don’t over do it and get plenty of rest as you need all your strength to heal properly.

Hugs. Xxx
Avibaby
Member

Re: Recently diagnosed and freaking out.

 

Hello Ladies of London and Beyond,

 

I am SO TOTALLY  alive and well after surgery! Not sure what lymph nodes they took or didn't take, but it DOES NOT hurt that much. The worst part of the experience was that I was unable to sleep that much the night before.

 

Just checked my doctor's note and it says I can return to work August 13th.

 

So relieved that Step 1 of the BC experience is over and done with. You guys are wonderful, wouldn't have made it emotionally without you , so keep talking it out.

 

Will be cheeiring you on on your surgery dates. 

 

Time to get a little food into this tired but excited body.

 

Avibaby

 

Cristina JG
Member

Re: Recently diagnosed and freaking out.

Avibaby,

Thinking of you today. Hope the surgery goes quickly and smoothly.

Best,
Cristina

Cristina JG
Member

Re: Recently diagnosed and freaking out.

Yep, it happens to me as well, Quaggie.

Quaggie
Member

Re: Recently diagnosed and freaking out.

SimoneePim - your messages always seem to come up as blank boxes for me? Not sure if it’s the same fo everyone else? 

Avibaby
Member

Re: Recently diagnosed and freaking out.

Hi Christina,

I know the wait must be agonizing for you but I can't fix it, so it is what it is. I will give you a "Boston Strong" pat on the back every day that you have to wait (not much of a consolation, is it, but it is nice to know that you have people who are cheering you on). At the end of your roller coaster ride you will be as happy and healthy as the rest of us.

Avibaby

SimoneePim
Member

Re: Recently diagnosed and freaking out.

 
Cristina JG
Member

Re: Recently diagnosed and freaking out.

Hello there, 

Just finished work and replying individually.

Quaggie, since my children only started school here in February I didn't have a chance to get close enough to other mums to ask for them to look after my kids for a whole day. We will probably send them to a school camp for a day or I may ask a friend/relative to come from Spain. I will wait and see about the date and time of the operation. It would be nice to meet up if you are up for it. I can only do some afternoons/evenings as I work until around 3pm, sometimes later. I will send you a private message (I haven't done it before but I think we can send private messages).

Avibaby, you are so close to having the lump out already! I wish it was me! I understand the anxiety of the operation. I had eye surgery when I was 17 and was super anxious before I went into theatre. But it was so quick! I remember the doctors/nurses saying "think of somebody you like" and I don't think I managed to finish saying "Paul Newman" and I was asleep. Next think I know I was already out of the theatre, trying to wake and chat with an operated pal next to me. I do work from home as a contractor (freelancer) but it's quite an intense job, my number of daily hours are the same as being in an office. Regarding asking for surgery to be moved forward, I think the system in the UK may be slightly different to the US. With the National Health Service, we have to go along with the dates they give us. I guess there is a waiting list and they have to prioritise, which I understand, but it doesn't make me less anxious. Quite the opposite.

SimoneePim, thanks so much for your words of encouragement. I am also going to the Macmillan Cancer Centre. It's early days for me so I can't really fully comment on the process. I wish I already had a surgery date as the wait is really difficult to handle but as, I said above, I understand they have a system in place. Did you choose to have radiotherapy at the main hospital? I thought radio was given at Macmillan centre.

All the best,
Cristina

SimoneePim
Member

Re: Recently diagnosed and freaking out.

 
Avibaby
Member

Re: Recently diagnosed and freaking out.

Don't worry about being lonely when you are at home - I will be your Penpal.

 

Avibaby
Member

Re: Recently diagnosed and freaking out.

So you are self-employed? Do you work from your home?

 

Avibaby
Member

Re: Recently diagnosed and freaking out.

Hi Cristina - I am having a lumpectomy because this bugger is 1.4 cm. Yes I am lucky to have it taken out this week, but you know, I insisted on getting the first possible surgery date. Not able to live with it one minute more than necessary. Maybe you could call your Dr.'s to find out if the biopsies came back (mine came back positive in 72 hours) and then insist that you get your surgery right away.

Avibaby
Avibaby
Member

Re: Recently diagnosed and freaking out.

High five to you too Quaggie!

 

Yes we are forever sisters having been diagnosed at the same time and having our lives upended at the same time. 

 

Will be posting more messages this week as everything happens.

 

Avibaby

Quaggie
Member

Re: Recently diagnosed and freaking out.

Hi Cristina

 

You're not far from me, I'm N12, North Finchley, so I fall under the care of the Royal Free hospitals.  Have been seeing my consultant at Barnet General but the surgery will be at the Royal Free in Belsize Park.  But as we're fairly close I'd be happy to meet up for a coffee and chat if you fancy it? 

 

Could you ask any of the other mums at your kids schools to help you out the day of the surgery?  Get them to do something with your kids and theirs together? I know it can be really hard to ask for help but if people knew your situation I'm sure they'd offer some support.

 

Don't you have one key worker nurse?  I was given a named contact, although I have spoken to the other nurses as well.  The situation at Barnet is the same - you phone a number, leave a message and they promise to get back but it's often the next day.  They are exceptionally busy so I guess it's the best that can be hoped for.  The nurses on the forum here are very good and you could call the helpline no. if you just want to chat to someone, although they obviously won't know the specifics of your individual case.  

 

I'll try to remember to wish you a happy birthday as I'm having radioactive dye injected into my nipple!  Hahahaha!!

 

Wishing you all the best xx

K x 

Cristina JG
Member

Re: Recently diagnosed and freaking out.

Hi Quaggie,

Glad to hear your brother will be with you for 24 hours. Hopefully your friends will keep an eye on you, at least the first few days after surgery. Yes, i am in north London too, N8. Are you being treated at UCLH by any chance? I live with my partner and my 2 children (9 and almost 7). Still not sure how we'll manage the day of the surgery as they are in school holidays and we don't really have anybody close to help. All my friends and relatives are in Spain. We'll manage somehow. The wait for the surgery date is so awful. I was diagnosed on the 10th of July, so it's becoming really stressful. I don't have one BC nurse, it's a team of  four or five nurses. The thing is every time we call they don't anwer and sometimes they take a day to call back. I understand this is the best they can do, but it is not ideal from a patient's perspective. By the way, you are having your surgery on my birthday!

All best,
Cristina

 

 

Quaggie
Member

Re: Recently diagnosed and freaking out.

Hi Cristina - yes, I'm in London, in the North. Are you? I'm having a therapeutic mammoplasty (so wide lump excision with a bit of cosmetic jiggling thrown in for good measure 😉 ) I hope you get your surgery dates soon - do you have your key worker nurse that you can ask about when you'll know the date?

My brother is coming to the hospital with me on the day of the surgery and will stay with me for the 24 hours the docs say is necessary, then a friend will come with me for my wound check follow up on the Mon. After that, it'll be just me with friends popping in when they can I guess.

Hope you have someone to keep you company?

Thinking of you xx K x
Cristina JG
Member

Re: Recently diagnosed and freaking out.

Hi again Avibaby,

Just read that you were writing from Boston, so obviously not in the London area. Hope you recover quickly after the surgery. I also would like to work as soon as possible after the surgery, although mine is a desk-based job as a freelancer (not an easy situation for our family).

All the best,
Cristina

Cristina JG
Member

Re: Recently diagnosed and freaking out.

Hi Avibaby and Quaggie,

I wish you lots of strength for the upcoming surgery. It's great that you are having it so soon. You are very lucky. First step of the treatment will be over soon! Do you know if you are having a lumpectomy (sorry if you have already mentioned in another post!). I still have to wait until Aug. 8th for planning, hopefully, as they did two further biopsies last Monday. I do not have a date for my surgery yet. The wait is making me even more anxious. Are either of you in the London area by any chance?

Quaggie, I think I read in another of your posts that you are pretty much by yourself? Will your brother or any friend stay with you after surgery?

Wishing you both lots of strength.
Cristina

Quaggie
Member

Re: Recently diagnosed and freaking out.

Avibaby - good luck with your surgery.  Wishing you all the best - hoping to goes as well as such things can for you.  

I'm just a few days behind you - my surgery is on Friday 3rd.  I'm terrified as I've never had surgery before so everything is a huge unknown and I think that's the worst part.  Our tumours are also the same size!  Cancer twins - high five! 

Hope you can find the right time for you to get back to work - I guess you just have to read your body and decide when you're feeling ready.  Hope your employers are understanding - is there a 'lighter' version of the job you could do while you're properly recuperating?  You don't want to do yourself any damage.

 

I've got a big pile of books ready to read, a lot of shows/films uploaded to my iPad and a new knitting project ready to get started so I'm hoping that will all be enough of a distraction for both the next few days in the run up to surgery and the days afterwards as I'll be at home alone all of the time.

 

Wishing you well Avibaby - let us know how you get on xx 

Avibaby
Member

Re: Recently diagnosed and freaking out.

Hi Ann -

 

Well the tumor is 1.4 cm so that's not that big. They will also do a sentinel node(s) biopsy. 

 

I am mentally preparing myself for the next 3 weeks:

 

- Four days to go to surgery. Don't overwork myself. Look forward to finally getting this "F---- crap" taken out of my body.

 

- Weeks 1 and 2 at home - not looking forward to it at all since I like to work, be active and get out of the house. I need to make some kind of activity plan. Maybe buy some online books? Watch TV? Maybe I'll be able to play the guitar? Telephone calling will be full of cancer talk (which I don't want), so that is out.

 

- Week 3 - Hopefully back to work which should make me feel better.

 

At this time I cannot fathom Week 4 which is finding out results of surgery/lymph node biopsy. So I will give myself a break and hit the "delete" key in my brain whenever this thought enters.

 

avibaby

ann-m
Community Champion

Re: Recently diagnosed and freaking out.

Hi Avibaby,
It depends what surgery you have, I had a wide local excision & I think I was advised to avoid lifting for about 4 weeks, so see what your team says.
Many here have worked through rads, so that should be ok if you feel you need or want to.
ann x
Avibaby
Member

Re: Recently diagnosed and freaking out.

Hello everyone,

 

Thanks to those of you who chose to reply to my posts.

 

I'm doing OK except for a few jitters about the upcoming surgery. Not sure why I am so nervous, but I'm keeping these under control by visualizing my little brown tumor being carried away by a pair of beautiful white angel wings. Will draw this image if the jitters start taking over.

 

Other bad thoughts about the status of my part-time job. I totally love my job, but unfortunately it requires lifting and carrying store merchandise up to 40 pounds. I'm hoping that after two weeks at home after surgery I will be able to walk right back in and start working like nothing ever happened. I also want to continue working during rads - is any of this realistic?

 

Avibaby

Avibaby
Member

Re: Recently diagnosed and freaking out.

Nice to hear you are doing so well. Did you really "run" the 5k race? Or was it more of a "walk"?

 

I am feeling better about my diagnosis. Looking forward to my surgery in 8 days. 

 

So far my daily activities have not been disturbed that much - still working until surgery. Hoping that my Dr.'s will let me work during rads. Dissappointed about having to cancel our family vacation to Ireland, but we are intending to reschedule it for the spring. 

 

It is truly a roller-coaster ride.

 

Avibaby

 

 

 

 

Mai7
Community Champion

Re: Recently diagnosed and freaking out.

THanks Avibaby, I'm doing really well.  I ran a 5k race for life a few weeks ago and I'm enjoying life again and back to "normal".  I still easily get emotional at times but that is to be expected after the bumpy ride.  I think it's hard to relate to others who haven't had a life threatening illness at times. That can cause frustration which is why we need each other on here.  Thoughts of cancer don't leave you after this but you get better at adjusting your perspective so it's a new and better outlook in many ways,  sounds like you are in very good hands and your genetic testing may determine your treatment choice so you will get the best silver bullet for that little fox that is cancer.  Best wishes. Xxx

Avibaby
Member

Re: Recently diagnosed and freaking out.

Hi there - I loved the story you wrote. You know how to really "say it". But you didn't say how you are doing now, so, how ARE you doing?

 

As for me, I have surgery in 10 days and I am blessed with a good team of doctors. Very friendly positive thinkers and I walked out feeling like "they care about me and they're going to keep this disease at bay". They really steadied my nerves.

 

Strangely enough, today some old, long-buried memories floated back to me from my teenagerhood 45 years ago - my father telling me that my aunt had breast cancer and a vague memory of that same aunt with a flat chest. there must be some kind of breast cancergene in my family! So I am feeling a new round of terror, but I will combat this by doing the genetic testing. Knowledge is power.

 

Avibaby

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mai7
Community Champion

Re: Recently diagnosed and freaking out.

Hi Avibaby and Quaggie,  Sorry you both find yourselves here in this horrid club none of us wanted to join.  We all look after each other really well so do keep coming on here to offload if you need to.  We understand.  Between diagnosis and treatment is really tough and you have a lot of new information to process on top of having your mind go on holiday away from reality.  I was diagnosed back in March 2017 and had chemo, surgery and radiotherapy and here I am now with my big survivors torch to light the way.  Once your treatment plan is in place you can join the "going through treatment" threads to chat with others going through the same.  Here is my story which I hope you find some comfort from as well as a few useful tips:  http://lifeafterlola.blogspot.com/

Sending hugs. xxxxx

Avibaby
Member

Re: Recently diagnosed and freaking out.

I am feeling better knowing that tomorrow is the day I meet with my treatment team. 

 

Thank you for you kind support.

Avibaby
Member

Re: Recently diagnosed and freaking out.

I am feeling better knowing that tomorrow is the day I will meet with my treatment team. thanks for answering my post.

Quaggie
Member

Re: Recently diagnosed and freaking out.

So sorry to hear you've joined the BC club Avibaby.  I'm only about 2 weeks into my diagnosis and the shock is still there.  I've tried to avoid delving into the 'what might have caused it' black hole as we've all already got enough to deal with, without adding self blame into the mix as well. 

 

Hope you get a treatement plan sorted soon - I'm hoping that once my surgery is done and I know what the following few months will look like I can start getting my life back into some sort of routine.

 

But it's ok to feel whatever you're feeling right now - everyone is different and everyone goes through ups and downs.  Life is a rollercoaster.

 

And this forum is great - I've already had so much support and great advice from the people on here.

 

Sending you hugs.

K x 

ann-m
Community Champion

Re: Recently diagnosed and freaking out.

Hi Avibaby,
It’s quite ok to feel angry about it all, it’s part of what we’re going through, especially in the early days.
I think that many of us try to look for reasons, when first diagnosed, but although there are some contributing factors, especially just getting older, it can & does affect anyone from any walk of life & lifestyle.
I don’t fret about this now & see it as just one of those things. Is there anything I could have done? I don’t know & it could have happened anyway.
ann x
Avibaby
Member

Re: Recently diagnosed and freaking out.

Yes I just can't believe that it happened to me and I am searching for reasons like genetics? 15 pounds over-weight? chemical poisoning? home renovation projects?....................

 

Not fair because I am one of those persons who "did all the right things". 

 

Not fair because I have already had enough adversity in my life.

 

Not fair because I don't deserve this.

 

ETC.  ETC.

 

 

SimoneePim
Member

Re: Recently diagnosed and freaking out.

Hello Avibaby

It's the strangest thing to feel so well and then be hit with this diagnosis - sometimes I think the very beginning, that initial appointment where we get hit with the bombshell is the worst - it leaves us reeling, we can't work out how it could have happened to us, and up until that moment we want to believe that we are not that 1 in 10 women who gets the bad news? We don't wish it on anyone else - we just wish it wasn't us. Sending you hugs aplenty from London. Stay strong.

Avibaby
Member

Re: Recently diagnosed and freaking out.

Ann,

 

So sweet of you to reply - we have to stick together and help each other.

 

Avibaby

ann-m
Community Champion

Re: Recently diagnosed and freaking out.

Hi Avibaby,

First of all, a warm welcome from this side of the pond, although sorry to see you here.

We've all been where you are now, getting diagnosed is such a shock, so feeling as you do is quite usual.

I remember well, that feeling of unreality, when you're feeling completely well, yet being told it's bc 😱!

It does all settle down though, when the full picture is in & your treatment plan is in place.

There's loads of support here, so do come & chat or offload whenever you need to & do look at the 'going through treatment' part of the forum when you start treatment.

Sending hugs

ann x

 

Avibaby
Member

Recently diagnosed and freaking out.

Hello ladies from the U.K. from Boston, USA,

 

I Luv the way this website is organized and I love the U.K.. Puts me in a good mood. So here I am.

 

Was recently diagnosed and I'm still freaking out. Not able to to categorize it or lock it in a box.

 

Life has been upended in an instant - going from superhealthy and superstrong to super-scared.

 

Avibaby