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Scared

32 REPLIES 32
Jobo
Member

Re: Scared

Hi Greenangela it really wasn’t as bad as my anxiety said it would be hope all goes well with yours
Jobo
Member

Re: Scared

Hi all. I’ve had the op wasn’t as bad as anxiety was making me think it would be. Nurses and drs were lovely. Managed to go on a couple of short walk snow got to wait for results of lymph node xx if I can do this so can all of you πŸ˜€
Charys
Community Champion

Re: Scared

Great advice Appletree, and description of the technique! I have used that technique myself for getting to sleep, with insomnia,for quite a few years. Not sure where I learnt it, maybe the same place as you?, but it works IF you really focus and really commit to it. Its not easy following mindfullness at the start, and does take practice.

Appletree
Member

Re: Scared

Have you had a look at any websites giving advice on Mindfulness relaxation exercises? There is a very good one run by a former Buddhist monk, but I'd better not name it as that might amount to advertising. You can learn the basics and access some simple exercise routines without having to pay anything.

 

I was diagnosed three weeks ago with invasive ductal cancer grade 3. My lumpectomy is set for Tue 24 Apr. I have found that simple Minfulness exercises help; you could use straightforward yoga relaxation techniques too.

 

You lie flat in a comfortable position (I do this in or on the bed), with your hands by your side or resting gently on your upper abdomen, then mentally scan your body starting from one toe, up your leg, up and down one arm, across your chest, up and down the other arm, then down the other leg, concentrating on how that part of your body feels against the bed as you go. Then you concentrate on identifying all the sounds around you, including clocks ticking, cats purring, traffic outside, then scan your body again, but this time concentrating on how each part of your body feels on the inside, relaxing each part as you go. By the time you've finished, you are completely relaxed and calm. All the time you are doing this, you keep your breathing shallow and in your upper abdomen. (I find it helps to have my hands loosely placed there, fingers touching, with elbows out at the side.)

 

Returning to a consciousness of your breathing, and keeping that gentle and shallow, is the essence of this technique and has a wonderfully calming effect. I've taught myself very quick body scans and breathing routines I can do sitting on a bus, when I'm getting panicky.

 

I do hope that helps.

Greenangela
Member

Re: Scared

We all here for you xx
Greenangela
Member

Re: Scared

Jono I'm the same I've breast cancer invasive ductal grade 2 in 3 weeks I going tho operation to remove never had an op or been put to sleep I suffer from anxiety so I know how you feel xx
jtb
Member

Re: Scared

Dear All ...I am 6 days from diagnosis but have been through it all 18 years ago so kinda know what to expect. I have just read through all the comments and find it a great help.  As you all say it's the waiting...my first appoiontment with my oncologist isn't until 25th April and struggling to keep positive.  I have decided to go back to work tomorrow mainly to keep myself occupied.  Stay strong everyone xx

Charys
Community Champion

Re: Scared

Here is the link to a downloadable booklet that might help you with your children, and talking to them about your treatment. There is a section in it relating to children aged 7-12 years old.

 

https://www.breastcancercare.org.uk/information-support/publication/talking-your-children-about-brea...

 

Charys
Community Champion

Re: Scared

Hiyer Jobo,

 

I suspect you might have already gone for your appointment, but all the best if you see this message before you go. I was only three years older than you when diagnosed, so not so dissimilar, and there are lots here also in their 40s. Tomorrow it will be done and dusted, the worst part will all be over. They will take really good care of you, after all, sadly there is lots of medical experience now of this type of surgery for many women each day. I don't say that to belittle your experience, which is individual to you of course, but to remind you that there are so many women in the same position and you must not feel alone.

Jobo
Member

Re: Scared

Hi for injection of radioacy dye today so scared as all feels too reel now. Mastectomy tomorrow I’m only 44 and have 2 10 year olds at home. Trying to be strong for them
Charys
Community Champion

Re: Scared

Gill, thanks for posting that lovely thoughtful message to Jobo and Rictina, especially as you are so close to your own diagnosis and surgery. Wishing you a very speedy recovery and health and happiness ahead !

Gill3105
Member

Re: Scared

Hi jobo and rectina. To echo the champions words below. It does get easier and no you won’t think it will but believe me it will. It is the what if,s that torment the heck out of you and take the anxiety levels to their max. All the champs in this thread helped me tremendously and thank you ladies. I am now 24 days from diagnosis and 6 days post op. As said once your plan is in place you can focus. I know it is still very early days for me and still have results to come but if I could give any advice on the last few weeks it would be take it day by day and try not to go beyond you next appointment and the what if,s. I do still come back to this forum as still class myself as recently diagnosed but have moved to the treatment thread and some lovely ladies going though just the same. What I haven’t done is gone to the next thread as will go there when I need to but that is my choice and appreciate we are all very different. Keep talking on here and ask what you like and you can be sure someone will answer you question. Take care you two and sending massive hugs to you both and we will beat this!
Jobey68
Member

Re: Scared

Hi Jobo, As our lovely ladies have said this is the absolute worst part of it all, the limbo stage where you seem to be stumbling from one thing to another and endlessly waiting on results, It was the lowest time for me and my anxiety was at its height, I couldn't eat or sleep.

 

I didn't have a mastectomy but from talking to many ladies here who did they recovered well within a few weeks and say it was nothing like they imagined it would be, in my experience you are very well looked after, I was scared of waking up being sick as I had done after a previous anaesthetic but they took care of that with some medication before hand and I was fine, sat up eating within the hour and on my way home within 2! 

 

We all imagine it has spread from the off but in reality for most of us it won't have, Once you have your treatment plan following your operation you will begin to feel much better about it all, I think we would all agree this was our turning point , up to then it's all ifs buts and maybes which fuels our anxiety to it's highest.

 

Honestly it does get better Xx Jo 

 

 

ladybowler
Member

Re: Scared

Jobo and Rictina

 

I am echoing everything that Charys has said.  this is the worst time but it does absolutely get better.

 

Jobo if you have never had an op before, it is fear of the unknown, but honestly you will be fine, before you know where you are you will be back in the ward having a sandwich and a cup of tea.  Your theatre team are very used to patients anxieties and they will do everything they can to make sure that you are comfortable and looked after

 

I am similar to Charys, 18 months post surgery and I finished radiotherapy 15 months ago.  I worked albeit it very reduced hours from six weeks after my op and my life has got back to normal.  I was playing lawn green bowls again in April last year, six months after my op, and that was only because I play outdoors so had to wait for the season to start.

 

Just take each stage one at a time, dont think too far ahead and worry about something you do not know about as that will only increase your anxiety and, as Chary says, just keep coming on here and we will support you in any way we can. 

 

Helena xxx

Jobo
Member

Re: Scared

I just feel like I want to run away from it all
Rictina
Member

Re: Scared

Im still in the early stages too & feeling exactly the same, you are not alone *hugs*. i cant eat, sleep or focus on anything, just stare into space & or cry. Best wishes to you for your op. Everyone tells me youll feel better afterwards. xxx
Charys
Community Champion

Re: Scared

It will get easier Jobo, really, you have to trust us on this. The early days before surgery, and after diagnosis, are hideously hard. After they have removed the cancer and you have the final results, it all becomes clearer and you regain some control as the treatment moves along.

Jobo
Member

Re: Scared

Trying to get through each day but wake up in a panic each morning have tried writing the facts down for me to reread but not making much difference
Jobo
Member

Re: Scared

Thank you for answering me. I have huge anxiety even before this. The lymph node they checked had a lump in it hence the test hopefully as you said they will all come back clear
Seabreeze
Member

Re: Scared

Hi Jobo,

It is natural to feel anxious when you have recently been diagnosed. Try not to let your mind stray too much beyond the operation and recovery from that. When you discharged from hospital they usually give you an appointment for a follow up meeting with the oncologist about 2 weeks after the operation. This is to enable the oncologist to let you know the results of the sentinel node biopsy etc, check your recovery progress and let you know if any further treatment is required. If they have already checked one of your lymph nodes (from what you say it sounds like they have), and found it to be clear, the sentinel node biopsy is probably more on a precautionary basis.

As Charys says, loads of women get breast cancer and the majority make a good recovery, many of whom move on and no longer read or post on the forum. If it helps, I was diagnosed just under 4 years ago, had lump removed and sentinel node biopsy (they removed and checked 3 nodes), still on medication to reduce chances of reoccurrence, no evidence of any bc now so hopefully all gone, coming up for my 4th year checks in a few months.

Focus on recovery from the op and distract yourself in any way you find calming.

Seabreeze

xxx

Jobo
Member

Re: Scared

They are taking the sental nodes on Wednesday with my mastectomy to double check nothing in there that’s what they said then treatment plan once they have results from them
Charys
Community Champion

Re: Scared

Have you had discussion with the surgeon about their findings ? You could ring your breast cancer nurse and ask her to clarify things and to explain about the lymph node and their findings?

Charys
Community Champion

Re: Scared

Ok, I'm not a medical person, thats my disclaimeer, but, If its not in the main (sentinel) lymph node they have tested, then that would mean they believe it is contained to the breast . They would be offering you further scans and tests if they thought it had gone further. They would also be planning on taking out further sets of lymph nodes. What have they said to you about your treatment plan and surgery ?

Jobo
Member

Re: Scared

Mainly scared it’s everywhere and nothing can be done about it although all I now is it’s not in the one lymph node they tested
Charys
Community Champion

Re: Scared

Well, I tell you what, why not tell us here your fears - the things that are popping into your head ? We will try to deal with them one by one.

 

Does it help you to know that I had cancer two years ago and have just had my second clear mammogram? Many women here will be the same, they have been successfully treated and move on with their lives. Lots of them of course don't post on here, as they moved on years ago. I think part of calming your anxiety could be recognising that there is a huge amount of positive associated with bc treatments, and the prognosis for the vast majority of women is REALLY good.

Jobo
Member

Re: Scared

Any ideas or tips on how to control my anxiety appreciated
Jobo
Member

Re: Scared

Don’t know if it was a sental node just one which had a lump in it I think
Charys
Community Champion

Re: Scared

Brilliant....good news! Then your team know it isn't everywhere around your body as the sentinel node (am presuming it was that one biopsied) was clear of any cancer cells.

cazzy50
Member

Re: Scared

Deep breath and breathe. Every ache and pain I get  put down to the cancer spreading, its not, i've always had aches and pains. Its normal to be anxious about a new experience espcially an Op You will suprised at how quick it will all go. Talk to your anethestist ,I found it better for me, to walk to the room before the theatre and have the anasetetic there I felt more in control, Count down from ten next thing I was waking up in recovery. Keep using these pages. Hugs

Jobo
Member

Re: Scared

No scan did a biopsy if one lymph node from ultrasound and that cane back normal
Charys
Community Champion

Re: Scared

Hiyer Jobo,

 

Welcome to BCC forum. So sorry you have needed to come here at all, but I really hope you find lots of support and advice by posting and reading about others who have come through the other side of this. My breast cancer surgery was my first ever surgery too, and although mine was not a full mastectomy, I was beyond terried. I would even say there was a point where I considered 'taking my chances' with the cancer rather than have surgery. Luckily, I soon moved away from that thought.

 

Have your team offered or given you an MRI scan, or do they think it isn't needed? Some people have them, some don't,  depending on cancer stage and location, and possible lymph node involvement.

 

It is usual to start imagining all sorts of symptoms in the period after diagnosis, many many women state that they can feel various aches, pains and odd sensations in their body. That is a combination of fear, stress and your mental state creating things that feel real. It is SUCH early days after your diagnosis, and to be an 'emotional wreck' is entirely understandable. It feels as if life has been suspended and some hideous nightmare has taken over...well it did for me.

 

Happy to keep talking to you about your fears, do come back and post again.

Jobo
Member

Re: Scared

Also seen to get aches and twinges everywhere ie stomach etc
Jobo
Member

Scared

Hi diagnosed couple of weeks ago with grade 2 invasive ductal bc. I am an emotional wreck Having a mastectomy on Wednesday with sental node removal. I am just so scared never had an op and terrified it’s spread everywhere