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Still can’t believe this happening!

Anniej
Community Champion

Re: Still can’t believe this happening!

Hi Emmalouise and Scaredycat, just sending you both a great big, gentle, hug. It's very natural to be scared of the unknown, and crying is a good release for tension. It is also an acknowledgment of your sorrow for what is happening, or has happened to your body . Please remember that your body is just the packaging for the essence that is you. You're still the doll you were before this happened. You are quite right, you can both do this. It's not an easy journey, but it's doable, and we'll be with you every step of the way. Good luck with your ops. From the other side I can tell you, as a 70 year old, it's much less scary than you think! Really and truly. X

Emmalou66
Member

Re: Still can’t believe this happening!

How are you Adele? 

Dont look if you don’t want to!  But just remember you’re still you,

I’m pretty sure I will be feeling the same as you though xxx

Emmalou66
Member

Re: Still can’t believe this happening!

Sunflower I have crashed down too! I’m terrified and can’t stop crying! 

We can do this girl! 

Big hugs when is your surgery?

xxx

AdeleS
Member

Re: Still can’t believe this happening!

thoroughly enjoyable read thank you so well written Good you seem to have now finished your treatment and glad you had people around you, partner and parent (that must have helped) i dont have that so the challenge of the chemo will be tough
AdeleS
Member

Re: Still can’t believe this happening!

have had surgery havent dared to look yet
AdeleS
Member

Re: Still can’t believe this happening!

hi Mai7 will read your story  but am really  Not sure with a 10 year survival rate of 74% if i want treatment until it reoccurs the thought of going on a 2 year journey when i feel fit and well and it not curing first time round as per my particular cancer type seems as it if will adversely impact on my quality of life with the chemo poisoning when i might need to go thru more treatment again - i will let the experts convince me 

AdeleS
Member

Re: Still can’t believe this happening!

I bought a couple of bras from M&S and even thought they are non wired support bras and sports bras they are not comfortable under the arm where i have a bruise keeps pressing on it, I  was unaware about front zip down sports bras - John Lewis seem to have a really good range /collection on line of post surgery and sports bras so going to check those out Good luck with your surgery on 27th thats the day i go back for my post surgery results and then hopefully treatment plan

Dizzybee
Member

Re: Still can’t believe this happening!

Emmylou, that's great news, it must be such a relief! On the bra front...I would suggest a front fastening sports bra, they're very comfortable and don't dig in anywhere. M&S do some great ones. I bought bras before my first op that I ended up never wearing, the sizes were all wrong.

 

When I had the first op, with a large amount of tissue removed, and just about everything that was left rearranged and resited, I was really worried about how it would look. The only incision was round the areola, and it was only closed with glue, so I  could see straight away. At that stage, my breast looked the same size and shape as it did before the operation. I know now that was due to the amount of swelling and seroma. By the time the margin shave was done, which took another chunk, and radiotherapy,  I was left with a very significant difference in size.

 

The NHS prosthetic service provides partial prosthetics which you wear inside your bra to even out the size. They're made from flesh coloured silicone, and fit in ordinary bras, no one can tell you're wearing anything.

 

Ive now had two breast reductions to the good side, both on the NHS. It depends on where you live, my area (Dorset) is still funding it, other areas are withdrawing funding.

 

After the reductions I was given a  front fastening surgical bra which was very similar to the sports bras, and I was so much more comfortable, I wish I'd had them for the cancer ops. I know some areas tell patients to buy sports bras. They were particularly good for sleeping in, you have a lot of internal stitches which pull unless you keep everything strapped down!

 

Good luck with the surgery, and I wouldn't worry about the cold, it's got plenty of time to clear up, and they don't worry about sniffles, only that you're not unwell, I think I had a bit of a sniffle each time and they weren't bothered.

Emmalou66
Member

Re: Still can’t believe this happening!

Update, I had another biopsy in the other boob and had the results Friday much relief that it’s only in the one! Found myself feeling elated , weirdly, that “yay” I have cancer just in one boob!!!
Surgery is booked for 27th, they will be taking quite a big segment and told me I would have a much younger looking breast afterwards! I hope they’re not going to be too uneven as that will probably take time to get used to, but to be honest I just think get the bloody thing out of me!
Today I’ve developed a cold and now obsessing about them not doing the surgery, I’m also getting really frustrated trying to find front fastening non wired non lacy bra in a size 34g!!!!
Mai7
Community Champion

Re: Still can’t believe this happening!

Hi Adele, welcome to the forum but sorry you find yourself here.  It's a very anxious time for you right now so I'm sending hugs and please read my story and I hope it cheers you up a little. It will get easier once you get into your treatment. Xxx.  http://lifeafterlola.blogspot.co.uk/

Anne30
Member

Re: Still can’t believe this happening!

I think the feeling of gloom is understandable. The whole thing is so frightening but it’s better to know the truth so that the medics can do their job
AdeleS
Member

Re: Still can’t believe this happening!

Hi Dizzybee,

thanks for your reply, tell me did they reduce the other breast on NHS or did you have it done privately.

 

I think this surgery on Thursday will be one of the easy steps in this long journey of chemo/herceptain and then radio but trying to take one day at a time as who knows what tmrw will bring 

Adele

Dizzybee
Member

Re: Still can’t believe this happening!

AdeleS 

I know it's hard to deal with when they tell you that your breast will be smaller after the surgery, you can't see how this can come out okay.

But all I can say from my experience after having a lot of tissue removed, is that I'm happy with the outcome. I did have to have the other breast reduced to match, but I prefer my smaller breast size, the scars aren't really visible at all on my breast cancer side (the incision was round the areola). 

I'm only telling you this because I got into such a state over the cosmetic outcome, and I really wish someone had told me that theirs had come out fine, that it is amazing what they can do. It sounds scary when they talk about moving tissue around and removing the excess skin, moving the nipple around. But they do it all the time, and the results will probably be much better than you think. Good luck next week!

AdeleS
Member

Re: Still can’t believe this happening!

Just to update you - the appointment on the 8th was upsetting no surgery had been booked  yet and we are now out of the government guidelines - they could offer me the team I would like to have had but later on in the month or  another team this Thursday 16th,I opted for next week

I have a propop assessment at 8.30 am Tuesday which leaves me one day only to read and organise what i have to according to whatever info they give me

I did want all the breast tissue removed to reduce the chance of reoccurrence and the consultant said it would still leave 5% risk then went on about Angelina Jolie sooo wanted to happy slap him as she (as we know didnt have a cancer diagnosis but family history and chose to do so as  as a precaution , I am not happy as he told me my breast would be smaller which means skin will be cut away so tomorrow i will write in via email as

Oncoplastic breast conserving surgery aims to is to leave a discrete scar with minimal change to the breast volume!, shape and nipple height.

Whats happening with you now  Adele x

Emmalou66
Member

Re: Still can’t believe this happening!

Hi 

I feel a little better, they said they don’t think that it’s anything, but the mri was showing an almost identical picture on the left breast, as the right one which is confirmed as having cancer. They took biopsies which I will get the results of on 16th along with my treatment plan.

where they did the biopsy there’s less bruising than the last time but the site won’t stop bleeding now!

I do feel I can sleep tonight for the first time in weeks!

 

hope you’re having a good day xxxx

 

NoteRed
Member

Re: Still can’t believe this happening!

Hello Emmalou, how was your ultrasound? I was diagnosed 2 February by a fine needle biopsy - and then before my surgery I had lots of scans and tests - I finally was for surgery at 22 and waiting for biopsy results... i can fully understand your anxiety and sadness- I m also sometimes cant stop crying
Emmalou66
Member

Re: Still can’t believe this happening!

Hi Adele.

 

this is all so awful and unfairl! 

 

I think yours is more advanced than mine I’m grade 1 invasive, I don’t understand what the receptors are or even what they are! 

I like to think that I’m pretty knowledgeable but I now realise I know nothing. 

 

The breast unit at my hospital has its own ultrasound so I won’t have to be waiting in the main X-ray department. My appointment is tomorrow morning and I’m feeling terrified. 

Im guessing your appointment on the 8th will be when they will let you know what they have planned for you? 

I will keep everything crossed for you that the journey is not too long or hard. 

Massive hugs to you xxx

 

AdeleS
Member

Re: Still can’t believe this happening!

Hello Emmalou66

I too am very recently diagnosed  7th Feb and my MRI also picked something up , went back in last week  for an ultra sound and they were able to tell me, it was fatty tissue and cysts  so with that over i now await an appointment with a consultant which I have 8th March, good they are checking this,just so you know there was a slight wait for me to get the ultrasound as it has to be by a specialist who can also read the MRI - Good luck with yours and I Still cant believe this is happening either 

I am so far invasive grade 2, and insitu grade 3 my receptors are ER 4 and HER+++ from I can see on these boards its going to be a journey

ann-m
Community Champion

Re: Still can’t believe this happening!

Yes, Emmalou, I think we can all identify with the ‘control’ thing & that’s how it is, at this stage.
That’s why it feels better when the treatment plan is in place, as then we know what’s going to happen & can plan. As ever, the uncertainty in the early days it’s the pits to handle. But, we do get through it.
ann x
Emmalou66
Member

Re: Still can’t believe this happening!

Thank you for replying. 

It does appear , from reading a lot of other posts, that things get easier once there is a care plan put in place. It seems that Every time I think things can’t get any worse, they do! 

Im the controller and not good at letting things control me, it seems I have no choice!

hugs to everyone xxx

 

Mai7
Community Champion

Re: Still can’t believe this happening!

Hi Emmylou66, welcome to our forum but im sorry you found yourself here.  Getting a breast cancer diagnosis is pretty ugly and very stressful in the beginning. The anxiety can make you quite ill at times. I had chest pains and panic attacks at first and was convinced it was spreading everywhere.  Once your treatment plan is in place you will feel better but the initial shock takes a while to settle with you.  I'm almost a year post-diagnosis. I was stage 3 grade 2 locally advanced including local lymph nodes. I had to have the works; 8 rounds of chemo then surgery, then radiotherapy and now on Tamoxifen.  I had no family history other than my Gran who had it in her 80s and I was only 48 at diagnosis.  You will get through this, it won't be easy but it's all doable.  Sending positives vibes your way and best wishes. Xxx

Emmalou66
Member

Re: Still can’t believe this happening!

Thank you Ann 

my daughter told me to join a forum as she has found them a life saviour for sharing feelings and thoughts! I’m sure I will come on to chat. It will probably save me from too many glasses of wine! 

 

Emma xxxx

ann-m
Community Champion

Re: Still can’t believe this happening!

Hi Emmalou,
The early days of diagnosis are such a shock & we’ve all beeen there.
Like you, my bc was picked up by routine mammo & was also an early diagnosis, I had no idea.

Going through all the investigations is so stressful because the uncertainty sends the mind into overdrive, however, it does all settle down when the treatment plan is confirmed.
I had an mri & like you, I found that the most stressful bit. Mine did not pick up any further surprises, however, there are certainly others here who’ve had further investigations when something else has been picked up, which has then informed the treatment plan.
Although it’s horrible to go through, it’s obviously vital that the diagnosis is correct so that you get the best treatment plan. Even if there is another area of bc, chances are it has still all been picked up nice & early.
Loads of us have been through this & are now getting on with our lives as normal.
It does get better...honest!
Do come & chat or vent whenever you need to.
ann x
Emmalou66
Member

Still can’t believe this happening!

Hi Everyone

I was diagnosed a couple of weeks ago for very early breast cancer, this was after a routine breast screening mammogram, call back ultrasound and biopsies. I was already in shock ! Then 2 weeks later the confirmation. Shock shock! 

I had an MRI on Monday (claustrophobia plus plus!!) and was due to meet the surgeons today to decide what surgery I should have. Yesterday I got a phone call to say the MRI had picked something up on the other breast that requires further investigation!

Can this really be happening? Has anyone else had this experience? I’m just wondering is it likely to be cancer in both breasts? I have no family history of breast cancer but I have this feeling of gloom and doom at the moment, and can’t shake it off !