Waiting for biopsy results after finding a 1.5cm lump 😪

[delly]

Hey Tristana

How the flip are you doing, girl?? Please would you let us know.

Docraney12, I'm intrigued to know more about your mentioned "new reformed medical solution"??

Lots of love to everyone xxxxxx

[docraney12]

There's a new reformed medical solution but on trial stage now, its a bright and hopeful solution, not legal yet, you should try it out

wish you the best

stay strong

[delly]

HERE HERE Chick!!! Clap, clap, clap.

Tristana - How are you??

xxxxx

[Chick1]

Hello Tristana, 

Hope all went well with your surgery.   Please try and stop beating yourself up about weight gain and a perceived wasted life. Remember one step at a time.   You have a lot of life to live and share with your child and all the other important people in your life.

All the best to you Tristana, 

Chick 🐥 x

[delly]

Tristana - to quote you "I feel like I've been wasting my life so far, and haven't done anything(?) with it" - Sounds to me like one of the things you have done/been and are, is a fantastically loving, and caring Mum !!  That's something and a lot more than I've done (no kids). Plus, amazingly brave to have undertaken weightloss surgery.

So maybe you will do more, when all this is over, hey. It will have repercussions, in positive ways. They may be small, but positive, or they may be big - humongous even. I think it'll definitely surprise you in some way. Make you stronger in some way, or more feisty, or even more loving, or more compassionate, perhaps make you want to see more of the world, change your job??

I don't think anyone would say "I can't wait to start chemo", like you did "I can't wait to get the bugger out now, to be honest". It must be a extremely frightening thing to have to embark on, or feel forced into, really. Fear of the unknown? Yeh, I totally get why you would think and feel that way.

Hope everything went well for you today (or now yesterday), that you're "home", comfortable, and being well spoiled 

Hope all you other postees are all doing well too.

Lots of love, Dellywelly x x x x

[Tristana]

Thankyou, 💖 It's a mixture of everything really, all that i've read/heard etc.. but mainly it's just the unknown, Ive had a long time to get used to all my health problems, they've crept up on me slowly over years... i.e weight gain, blood pressure, asthma, All things i can do something about myself, and last year i did do something! After 20 years of yoyo dieting i went through the tough decision to have weight loss surgery! It was solely to prelong my life expectancy for my son. I didn't want to leave him early without a mum, Now this! It's sods law!! but i have had some time to get used to it and I'm going to stay positive as much as i can and do whatever the doctors say to beat this little moster. I want to see my son grow up and I'll be damned if i let this beat me now!

I don't visit this site often but when i need it it's been there the remind me that it's not the end of the world, thank you for being here. I'll let you know how surgery goes and I will definitely be back to get chemo advice!! xxxxxxxxx

[delly]

Firstly - Thanks Ann and Well Done for reporting the rather strange "intruder". I came on shortly after your message, read all his content, tried to also post, but fortunately the thread was "shut down" until he was cleared.

Most of you were probably in zzzzz land, but there must have been 5 posts on here telling us all, that we didn't need surgery, chemo, rads. Just needed to check out his web address. He was obviously selling something. I noted he appeared on a few other threads too.

Tristana - Oh my dear girl. I like your positivity, to get the "beastie" out. That's a really good attitude. After that - chemo. Why do you feel "it's such a severe change, you can't hide from people"?? Is that much to do with the possibility of you losing your hair? Or something else? If it's hair, I once remember one of my patients, who hadn't been to see me for a while, came in for treatment (Podiatry, and years before my own BC exp). I told her I "loved" her new "hairstyle", that it sooo suited her, she looked great. She waited a while to tell me she'd had surgery and chemo for BC, and that it was a "wig". I nearly dropped my scalpel and fell off my chair. And, naturally said, "I'm sooo sorry to hear that. But WOW, you look absolutely flippin amazing, woman, considering ALL the horrible nasty stuff you must have recently been through. I can't believe it!! I'd never have known, had you not said". I was being totally genuine, and it wasn't just her hair that looked fantastic. I hope that gives you some cheer.

But nowadays, with the unfortunate increased occurrence of Cancer, women or men (not so unusual) "without" hair, are that much more common, and a "badge", if you like, that you're having to go through a rough and tough time.

Even though I didn't have to go through chemo myself, I have an understandably huge sympathy for, and I often make a point of speaking/chatting, to and with, other women I see or meet who've lost their hair. Ask them if they're going through chemo (as it isn't always due to), and, if so, how they're doing. 

Tristana - I know it's through the ether, but this Forum is a fantastic supply of info and support - inside and outside of the Forum. What's available to you, chemo and rads threads, plus courses, support groups. I'm also sure you're onco team, breast care nurses and hospital department will be able to provide you with loads of info on such, along with MacMillan. 

I shall be thinking of you on Monday. In the meantime, I hope you enjoy this weekend. Looks like we're in for some brighter and warmer weather.

Lots of love to you and everyone  xxxxxxx 

[Tristana]

Thank you, Surgery is this monday 24th I'm looking forward to it in a weird way, Ust want the evil out of me!! It's a Lumpectomy and they said should go home same day if all goes well!! Chemo terrifies me as it sounds like such a severe change that I can't hide from people, I just want to be well again, I feel like I've been wasting my life, so far and haven't done anything with it!! 

x

[Tristana]

Hi, I am looking forward to Monday like you wouldn't believe! I just want it OUT!!! it's the waiting that's doing my head in more than anything, Once it's out of me i can work on my next steps which are going to be tough, waiting again for lymph results... then waiting again for chemo... then waiting for my hair to come out... then waiting for radio... waiting for all clear or not... Did i mention I'm not good at waiting! 😂😭

[ann-m]

Hi all,

I’ve reported the poster below, stay safe xxx

[delly]

Hi Tristiana,

I'm conscious your op is looming nearer.

How are you doing, girl? Are you okay?

Thinking of yer, with lots of love

xxxxxxx

[Kip]

Hi Tristana,

Ok, so you now have a plan set out.  This will all seem horrendous at first but now you know whats happening you can begin to deal with it and plan.  You just need to deal with one bit at a time.  Firstly the surgery, do you know what type of surgery you are having, lumpectomy, mastectomy etc?   Focus on this bit, depending on the surgery and whether you have any type of reconstruction will determine how long a stay in hospital.  I had a mastectomy and was home within a few hours after the op, some ops take a bit longer and require an overnight stay or a few days.  But whatever the procedure, allow yourself time to recover, if someone can help out for a bit .. that's good.   You need to be careful of lifting and overdoing things on the op side for a while, and anesthetic can make you feel tired. 

Once you've got through the op,  then think about the chemo.   There are loads of us on here who have been and are going through it too and can offer you tips and support.  But allow yourself time to digest all the information you will have been given so far, don't think too far ahead... just remember.. the op will get rid of the beast.. then the treatment will kick its butt!  

I am sure there is a June 2019 surgery page already, perhaps join that page and you'll find others having surgery this month too.  Always good to swaps tips and stories.

I hope you manage to get some sleep and to eat, I know how hard it is and the unknown fear is err

[delly]

Good to see yer, Tristiana.

Sorry for your news, flower. That's all great advice from Kip and Alvilajo. 

Hey, that's a very fast response from results yesterday, to op on the 24th, which is a very good thing to hear, because it sounds like you're in very good hands. I'm presuming as you'll be having rads, that you opted for a lumpectomy.  Am sending a big but gentle Delly hug  XXX

Avilajo - Wishing you well for your chemo treatments. Kip, hope you're doing okay too.

Lots of love to everyone

DoolallyDelly xxxxxx

[Alvilajo]

Hi Tristana  give it a couple of days to sink in then focus on positive sides to curing it. I had first chemo yesterday it was fine. I feel ok today too and hoping tomorrow will be ok as at a wedding. I felt really tearful last night and felt sad about it all but today I’m ok. So one day and appointment at a time hun xxxx

[Tristana]

Diagnosed grade 3 her2 negative yesterday, Operation, Chemo and radio therapy booked! They say its a small lump but I'm beyond terrified!!!!!

[Tristana]

Hi, Diagnosed Her2 negative, operation on 24th for removal of the beastly disease then adjuvant chemo for 16 weeks then 6 weeks of radio therapy, The s*** has hit the fan 😢

[Kip]

Hi Tristana,

Just had to reply to your posts too.   As I read them it was like reading about myself last year.  Waiting for the diagnosis  was just about the worst time ever...probably worse than when they told me it was cancer.   I know how you feel, not sleeping, eating etc, crying and not knowing how to get through another day.  But you do, and you will, just try to keep away from the internet and seeking information.  Lots of it will scare you, still does me.. and most of it is out of date and not appropriate.I hope your results were good but if they weren't you are not alone,  as you have already found, just post on the forum and the support will be there. 

Big hug to you

Kip

x

[delly]

Hi Tristana

I hope everything went okay for you yesterday? How did you go on?

Let us know if and when you feel up to it.

Lots of love to you and everyone else on here

xxxxxxx

[Tristana]

This is what i need to hear to stay sane! I appreciate your message and I am trying to stay focused on other things but every now and then my stomach turns over and i get a horrible fear come over me. 

I'm so glad i found this forum. 

xxx

[ann-m]

Hi Tristana,

It’s probably better to step away from stats. They are only a general overview, not specific to us individually & are based on treatment outcomes from 10-20 years ago & a lot has changed since then. Just to add, bc has some of the best treatment outcomes around. 

Although it doesn’t feel like it, thankfully, if diagnosed, then it can be dealt with.  

The vast majority of us get through it & back to our lives as usual, that’s the normal outcome. 

ann x

[Tristana]

Thankyou thankyou! I really need to hear positive stuff! All I've been doing is looking at statistics and diet foods!! I'm going crazy!!! I will try and keep positive as long as i can. x

[Tristana]

Thank you so much! It really helps to know people survive for real and it's not just statistics, It's been the worst 3 weeks of my life just waiting!!! I'm still finding it hard to eat but I'm trying, my husband has to come to work with me everyday to sit with me (I'm self employed and he's studying so it's possible luckily) I couldn't cope without him. I will keep coming back here too, It's good to hear strong positive women who have fought and won.

Xxx

[delly]

Phew, Tristana

You poor darlin woman. You are in one heck of a state. My heart sooo goes out to you. It's ALL flippin awful to have to take in, and your reaction is totally understandable, girl.

BUT . .you need to try and be more  c  a  l  m,   because you are not helping yourself, getting so worked up. I know, it's difficult. Your mind's running off in a negative direction. Again - ALL understandable. So okay, you can't have an earlier result appointment. What can we do in the meantime?? I can only give you my own reactions and behaviour to my first "wait" on results.I talk on that later.

Please tell me. Why do you feel you have to "hide" it from people??? You DON'T. Maybe you feel you "have" to try to "protect" people. Do you know, that all those people that really care about you, WANT to know what you're going through, because of the fact that they "care" about you. I guarantee you, they all want to help and support you through this. And, amazingly, I found a whole load of "unexpected" support, once I started telling and talking to people.

When I found my first lump, 2006, yeh, I was sensible and concerned enough to go see my Doc. But I kept positive throughout, thinking it may be nothing - a benign, nothing to worry about lump. My doctor was MORE concerned about it than ME!! When I went to get my results, my Mum came with me to "hold my hand", though I didn't think I'd need it. I DID. I literally fell to the floor when they told me it was, den den derrrr, cancer!! Aaaaargh!! Felt my whole world was collapsing in on me.

Tristana,   pleeeease    take note of what I'm saying to you, and the reason behind it.

I am STILL HERE, despite my first diag and treatment (mast), 2006.  I then had to have another mast, 2007, which wasn't a spread from the first, but another separate primary.  Flippin (polite word!) worst bad luck!!

But, AGAIN, I "survived darlin'. That's the point I'm making - "I'm still here", after my 2006 and 2007 diagnoses" ! ! ! 

So please take it from one who knows and has been through it. If it's a bad result, you WILL be okay.

Things have soooo moved on from my day, and you therefore have even better treatment than I did in my time.

Goes without saying, I am so absolutely bloomin gunning for a GOOD result for you on the 12th.

WE are here, waiting on tenterhooks for you too, sweetie.

Please use this Forum and keep posting your worries and any concerns. I just "know", the lovely women on here (and myself) will give you a whole load of help and support. Seriously, Tristana!!

Keep in touch as to how you are doing. If you're struggling, we'll help bolster and boost you up.

Much love to you, darlin girl

Delly x x x x

[Chick1]

Hello again Tristana, 

Yes it may be a good idea to speak directly with somebody.  It is very difficult when you are in the waiting for results stage and you are thinking of all the possibilities.   You can not change any result by increasing your anxiety level. I know it is hard but try and  concentrate on the here and now. You have a problem with your boob, it is being investigated and you are awaiting the results.  I hope you can also take some reassurance from the wonderful people and stories on this site.  What do you usually do to relax if you are feeling stressed?  Perhaps doing these things may help to reduce the anxiety. 

Fingers crossed for you for the 12th. Remember, if it is cancer,  you may not feel like you could cope at the moment Tristana, but you will.  The increasing knowledge and variety of treatments these days is very positive.  

Best Wishes to you, 

Chick 🐥 x

[Tristana]

Hi, I am really trying but it feels like an early death sentance pending. 😪 I might call them today.

Tristana

[Chick1]

Hello Tristana, 

The waiting for results and tests can feel like torture.  Just remember - one step at a time.  Only after the results will you know what you are dealing with, so perhaps close all those books you have bought for the time being. 

If it would help to talk to someone directly, why not give the helpline a ring or perhaps you have a Maggies Centre or similar Support Centre where you can drop in/arrange to speak with someone directly which can be helpful. Also if you are finding this anxious period very difficult to deal with, maybe you could discuss with your GP who could prescribe something to assist with the anxiety for the time being or offer other support.

Be kind to yourself, and I wish you the very best for your results.

Chick 🐥 x

[Tristana]

Thank you, I appreciate all the replies I've got! I'm trying to hold it all down but i am a wreck. I have read everthing inline and bought every book on amazon! I have my fingers and toes crosssed. xxx

[Tristana]

Thank you, My appointment cant be speeded up, I was told in no uncertain terms so i will have to hang on, I can't eat and have nit really slept either, I'm finding it hard to hide it from people, I'm in tears all the time, I really dont want to upset my hubby and son I need them to be strong but I'm upsetting everyone i talk to. Thank you for you reply, I need positive vibes so it's good to talk. xxx

[Tristana]

It's hell, I'm a mess, I can barely talk or eat,  I am finding it really hard not to think i have no time left to live. I'm also 1 year post weight loss surgery which means I have limited eating now but i can hardly eat at all! I've lost half a stone since my appointment ( 6 days ago), They told me at Cheltenham breast clinic that on NO account can my appointment be changed as the results will NOT be in any earlier, I really hope its good news but by the way everyone was talking i think not. I am trying to be positive but it's my worst nightmare! I only had weight loss surgery so i could live longer for my son. Life is tough and unfair. 

Thank you for you encouraging words though.

xxx

[delly]

Hi Tristiana

Sorry you're on tenterhooks waiting for results (totally sucks).

I do wish ultrasound doctors didn't make comments on their thoughts, kept "shtum" and left it to the consultants, as I had the opposite said with my other breast a year after my first. That it didn't look suspicious, was just a mass of harmless cysts. But thankfully(?!) the consultant felt differently, suspicious, and conscientiously biopsied an area underneath, which showed another small primary. I do hope it's the opposite for you. But please, do let us know your results when you hear, will you. 

And Yeh, as Paulus said, I'd check to see whether your results are in sooner, and an earlier appointment can be had.

Hope the results are good, but you WILL get through it if not. Your Mum's an 11 yr survivor and I'm a 12 yr. Hope that gives some confidence.

But you'll receive loads of support from we ladies on this wonderful Forum, should you need it.

My fingers are crossed for you, and I'm also sending a hug, a gentle hand squeeze, and some love

Delly xxxx

[Paulus]

Hello, just to echo . . . you will be amazed what you can get your head round - but you need time to absorb/get over the shock of your discovery.  I remember it myself, and that double checking, triple checking, trying to convince ourselves that it's not real, and maybe we dreamt it  -  and the shock of it still being there.  Fingers and paws crossed that all will be well, but you have been pro-active, and that's great, and much better for you than spending days and weeks worrying?

You are having a bit of a wait, so maybe it might be worth a phone call to the Breast Clinic/Nurses to see if your results are back yet, and if there is an earlier appointment available.  I guess it depends on hospitals and areas. Waiting is just the worst, we know.  Come back and talk when you need to, don't struggle with worry on your own. Wishing you the best outcome, hugs x

[Alvilajo]

Hi tristana

sorry your worrying so much especially with a young one. Whatever the outcome your be surprised that you will cope, I have. I’m 49 and also have been where you are back in March and it is a frightening time. At least you haven’t ignored it and your in good hands and sounds very small. Come on here and ask whatever you like no matter how silly it may feel. We are all here together for you. vic xxxx

[Tristana]

Terrified beyond belief!!! I found a lump in my right breast a month ago on my right inner lower quadrant, I went straight to the GP who refered me to hospital for tests, I had a mamagram & ultrasound which confirmed a hard dark mass, I was then told by ultrasound doctor that she was very concerned snd it looks very suspicious, I am waiting on the results on 12th June but I'm devastated already, My mother had the non hereditary breast cancer type about 11 years ago and has been clear of it so far, I'm 42 years old, married with a 9 year old son, If i have breast cancer i don't know what I'll do! 😪