What do I tell my employer?

Newly diagnosed. HER2+ so will be chemo first & seeing oncologist next week. Expecting chemo  + herceptin then surgery, radiotherapy & hormones so feels like full works. Very scared & emotions up and down. I need to talk to my work but don’t know what to say. Will I still be able to work at all? Office based role but set up to work from home due to covid. I am lead on various projects so can’t just dip in and out. Am used to being in control but next few months have no idea of what to expect. So how do I plan anything?  What do I tell them I will be able to do? Want to put head under duvet and hide, not talk to male bosses via skype!! Help.

Hello Mary-Jane , welcome to the forum .Such a lot to get your head around in the beginning ,very overwhelming .I found telling people very hard - I couldn’t face going into the office so I rang my boss and asked her to meet me in the car park and sat in the car blubbing while I told her !!! Could you e mail your boss that way you can think carefully about what you want to say and it’s less emotional .I didn’t have chemo but from what I’ve read there will be a lot of factors that impact on whether working alongside it is manageable including how you respond to your treatments ,how flexible your employer is and the other demands you have in your life .Hopefully one of the ladies who have been through chemo will be along to advise .Always lots of support here from people who understand how it feels.Jill x

Well, Maryjane, there are a lot of ladies out there who felt just like you do now. I’m sure you will get plenty of help to sort your situation . I’m retired, so didn’t have the issues you have. I would say quite firmly, that your health comes first, not your work. No one knows how your body will react to the regime you have described. I know ladies who have continued to work during chemo, and others who couldn’t . Everyone is unique and reactions are so different to the same treatments. I would suggest HR be involved so that you are well informed of your rights and entitlements before making any decisions. Legally you should be supported by your firm at this time. If not, Macmillan and Maggies Centres have dedicated staff who can help with benefit claims. You don’t say what chemo you are having, but some are much harsher than others. Your Onco and BC nurse will be aware of the usual side effects and could advise you. Fatigue, lack of appetite, nausea and insomnia are quite common, so be prepared. The nurses on here can give you some good tips and are available via posts and phone. Wishing you the very best on your journey. :four_leaf_clover: :bouquet: :crossed_fingers:

Hi MaryJane

i was in exactly same position 4 weeks ago. i just sent an email to my boss and copied CHO, line manager into it. i just said i was emailing as found it difficult to put things to words, explained diagnosis and that chemo, op, radiotherapy be involved. didnt know what order by then but just gave them the heads up - they have been great so far and have been keeping them updated regularly - i started chemo on wednesday and managed to do some work though not the usual - every day is different. wednesday thursday was fine then yesterday i was wiped out. today ive been ok again. 

its difficult to get your head round it at the start but most important thing is you getting better. i hope your employers are as supportive as mine. i still plan to work full time but i’m becoming more aware of what my body needs in terms of rest and the reality of it all. i took couple days off before treatment just to have some time with friends/family before hand.  my boss is looking suggesting to use sick leave/holidays flexible on days need it. been told from consultant that will need at least 3 weeks off after operation. 

lucy

Hi MaryJane, Welcome to our lovely forum but sorry you find yourself here.  It’s really tough at first and each time you tell someone new it’s like reliving the moment of diagnosis again.  I hated having to tell everyone, especially my nearest and dearest.  At work I told my boss face-to-face at the end of the day so I could cry and leave the building immediately after and I left him to tell everyone else in the office as I found it all too traumatic.  You are not obliged to discuss your illness but I found it helped to gain better understanding from my employer.  I managed to work through chemo with a couple of days off for extreme tiredness.  Your employer have to allow you time off for appointments.  I found my work was a good distraction otherwise I’d have been thinking about cancer all day and searching Dr Google.  Here’s cancer research & McMillan info on employment: cancerresearchuk.org/about-cancer/coping/practically/the-disability-discrimination-act-equality-act-and-cancer 

macmillan.org.uk/cancer-information-and-support 

Hope this helps.