feeling heartbroken and dire again

Hi Ladies, as you know i’m starting the dreaded chemo next weds but tomorrow, i have to say goodbye to my beautiful Mother, i’m feeling absolutely dire and thoughts are rancid again, im scared now that chemo is not going to work and if it does the c monster will come back and i will have to go through all this again, am i normal feeling and thinking like this? haven’t even got rid of the c i have got at the moment, another thing i am worried about is herceptin, i have to have 18 cycles of it and i’m thinking i’m going to get heart disease from it, my brain is frazzled.

Dear E,

You are loved by God, everyday he is there for you to pray to him and lay your worries down.

Everything is right on course, your feeling are met and validated by me and many others here.

We all can have dark thoughts, try to let them pass quickly and replace them with better.

You my dear are going to be fine, no matter what.

Try www.youtube.com for some help with your feelings.

It is free and may help you feel hopeful and loved. And give love.

Sick or well we live on an amazing planet with stars, trees, birds and rivers.

If you reach for love, hope it will be there for you.

We are lucky to be here while we can.’

Good luck through everything.