Hi Swissmiss - thank you so much for such a wise and thoughtful reply, it helps a huge amount.
I am now intrigued by your vegan dish, what a great idea. I do agree with you that once the anniversary has passed things get easier again - mine coincides with dark short days so that never helps. I am meeting that same friend again this year, only for a walk this time because of the rules, but you are right that she is very special to help and be on my wavelength. I like your suggestion to always have something to look forward to, even with the virus we can still make plans/do things.
I really appreciate you taking the time to send those thoughts. I hope you and your 14 year old baby are both doing really well. Very best wishes to you, Evie 😘😘
Well, this forum, and the Charity itself, is close to my heart. Many posters on the forum got me through some dark days, most of whom will have had no idea just how much they were ‘quietly’ supporting me with their posts, their knowledge, their experience. It is good to hear that you have experienced the same level of support.
I also learned a lot from posters who had a poor dx/outcome too, this forum comes with a lot of sadness but with grace and strength, at a desperate time in their lives, they were still prepared to engage, share and support others, quite some feat and how generous of heart, mind and spirit to spare their precious time. There are some names no longer here but I haven’t forgotten them or their user names.
As for anniversaries Evie-S, such an individual choice, I tend to deal with them quietly and privately, though very much aware as there is a build-up to them but once they have passed, I tend to feel so much better. I think your approach sounds good to me, own the moment but you also seem to have a super friend there, very in tune with you, hold onto that friend.
This year however, though I’m not Vegan, I made my first Vegan meal in honour of the plant which helped to get me this far, the Yew Tree (Taxus) as I had Docetaxel (and the Fec combo as Grade 3). It seemed like a good way to celebrate my 14th cancerversary at the time.
When looking to the future back then, if I dared, spontaneity took over from making plans but, over time, I can face making plans once again and now try to ALWAYS have ‘something to look forward to’ (borrowed with pride from Supervet), whether big or small, a film, a show, holiday etc, don’t put things off. One thing I have learned the most though is that simple pleasures are often the best.
Hope some of this helps Evie-S 😘
Like buses, two arrive at the same time 🙃🙂
May be more ‘old timers’ will come aboard 😘
Swissmiss and Ruby1 - thank you both for those lovely replies and for offering to chat more anytime, I really appreciate that.
Swissmiss - please don’t ever think that you “should” do more on here. You have stayed in touch with the charity and have responded to messages and came back with Ruby1 to give hope to others. Everyone has their own reasons for staying on here or leaving, some want to move on and not be reminded of it every minute, others want more support - it is so personal. I had so much support from the forum when I was going through treatment that I decided to stay around for a while to see if I could help others, particularly those newly diagnosed. When you both kindly offered to chat anytime I realised just what a priceless and generous offer that was - I also still need help myself some days, but haven’t asked recently.
Can I ask you both whether the anniversaries of your diagnosis fade over time? I am just hitting my anniversaries and I always find it a very tough time. I have tried to turn the dates into positive dates - last year a friend took me out on diagnosis date and we had a very special day together, but I wonder if you have any thoughts or tips.
Lots of love, Evie xx
Evie-S and SwissMiss
Evie-S - I'm really pleased that this post has helped you. See, you got to hear from two of us who are many years down the line now! Maybe we'll get a few others chiming in. I'm always around to chat if you ever wanted to.
SwissMiss - hope you're feeling a bit better. I'm really pleased that you came along when you did, as it's also so nice for me to hear from another 'oldie' as well. Like I said above, always around to chat if you ever wanted to.
Much love to all xxx
Hi Evie-S and Ruby1
Thank you for your kind words Evie-S, though it was pure fluke I popped in when I did. It makes me happy that I have been able to help, in some small way, though left me wondering maybe I could/should do more.
However, Ruby1 is correct, for a variety of reasons, many no longer post on here, myself included though I have responded to private messages, when notified by email from BCN (or Breast Cancer Care as I knew it) over the years.
4 years post dx is great to hear and I hope you continue to keep well.
Ruby1, thank you, you’ve given me ‘food for thought’ to pop on the forum more often, so hope to see you around.
Much Love to you all 😘
Ruby1 and Swissmiss - thank you both for coming back on to share your stories and give us all hope and encouragement. I am 4 years post diagnosis and I always love to read posts from those diagnosed years before that. Very best wishes to you both. Evie xx
Murnaloo, I always remember loving hearing positive posts from oldies when I was going through it, but those were few and far between, and I also remember others trying to support 'terrified' folks by saying that there are plenty of people doing well, but they don't use the forums much, if at all, anymore due to having moved on. So I promised myself I would pop back in once in a while to let you all know how an 'oldie' is doing. It helped me so much at the time to hear from the oldies. And here I am, so thankful to be here and doing well. xxx
Swissmiss, I know I said it before, but I'm so pleased that we timed our posts to coincide, and I do hope things improve really quickly for you. I knew I recognised your name when I saw it come up on this post, and so happy to hear from you. You take care xxx
Thank you for your kind words. To be completely honest, had it not been for events happening around me, making a conscious decision to log-on to the forum together with the timing of Ruby’s post, I may not have posted myself. Glad I did though and good to know it helped you, hopefully others too.
Hope treatment is going as well as can be for you on this mental, physical and emotional rollercoaster ride. Hold on tight. Much Love 😘
Lots of reflection this week, and yes, feel better for chatting, thank you too, serendipity hey!
Much Love 😘
Wow, thank you so much for sharing your experience and stopping by again with such a positive story! It is so helpful to hear from people who have made it through and can offer hope to those of us in the thick of things.
Understandably, many folks who have had a positive experience move forward and don't want to dwell in a forum all the time. So, it's really supportive of you to remind all of us that we can pull through this and celebrate many milestones, like you have done, in the years ahead.
So pleased that our timings coincided and so lovely to hear from you, and hope just chatting has helped a bit.
What a journey your little boy has been on, and wow, now a 14-year old! Amazing what medicine can do these days. So happy to hear how well he's doing and how well both of you were looked after.
Take care xxx
Thank you Ruby, yes, this Forum was my ‘crutch’ back then and for some reason, which I can’t explain, it has become my support once again tonight, your post was super timed, the pick-me up I needed.
Yes, my baby is now a 14+ full on teenager 🙃🙂 I am eternally grateful for the medical care I received, all disciplines (Obs/Onc/Surgeon) working together for the best possible outcome, my Surgeon telling me he had ‘2 patients to care for’ - he kept his promise there.
Right back at ya Ruby, so good to chat tonight, stay well and take good care 😘
I certainly do remember your name, and you and I see that you and I were going through this at a similar time.
I'm so sorry to hear that you're going through a rough time now and sending you gentle hugs.
By my calculation, your 'baby' must now be around 13 or so?
Really really lovely to hear from you. You also keep on keeping on. And here's to many many more years of health.
Big hugs xxx
Swissmiss ❤️❤️ Another beautiful post ❤️❤️Lovely for another old timer to jump on and share story ❤️❤️Inspirational both of you ❤️❤️💕💕✨✨Shi xx
Hi Ruby, so lovely to read your post and to see how far you’ve come from dx in 2007. I always devoured posts from ‘old timers’, to be honest, they kept me going through the dark days so hoping your post helps others too, so uplifting.
I’m another old timer, haven’t been on here for years but drawn to the forum tonight after receiving some sad news - not cancer related - but it took me back to my early dark days of dx. The forum helped me so much. For the record, dx in 2006 with ER- PR+ Her2+, micro mets, aged 39, pregnant, surgery at 30 weeks, baby induced at 37 weeks, chemo, rads, Herceptin and was given Tamoxifen, though ER- my Onc felt best to take it as highly PR+ This takes me to 14+ years, hoping for so many more though didn’t think I’d reach this point back then.
Ruby, keep on keeping on and beyond, your post made me smile, inside and outside. To all members, new and old, whatever stage you are at, I wish you all the very best along the rocky road. Much Love to All.
Ruby1 ❤️❤️Thank you for your beautiful post ❤️❤️ It is fabulous for you to pop on and share your story ❤️❤️ Congratulations on your marriage to soul mate and becoming stepmom ❤️❤️❤️💕💕✨✨Shi xx
Hi to all you lovely ladies and any gents who may be here as well.
I'm popping in as an old-timer, to say hello and let you all know there is hope.
Most of you probably do not know me, but I was quite a big user of the forums from 2007 onwards, when I was diagnosed with HER2+ breast cancer in June 2007. I had an aggressive 5cm tumor on/in my breast and a huge lump in my armpit (it was the armpit lump which alerted me to something being wrong). I was only in my 30s at the time. I remember everything: the whole rollercoaster ride, being terrifed, "Terrified" was the name of a thread that me, along with a few other regulars belonged to and contributed to most days. Everybody here was so supportive, and we supported each other through this journey and onwards. I also contributed to other threads during my time of using the forums.
I had chemo first, an operation, herceptin and radiotherapy. I had many hospital stays with neutropenic sepsis, had to have my port taken out as it became infected, had to come off herceptin and restart it due to my low white blood count, and then had a spectactular reaction to Herceptin on my last infusion. Not the way I wanted to finish, but all was okay. I went through reconstructive surgery to the affected side, plus a preventative mastectomy and reconstruction to the other side, and a few revisions after that thrown in!
I wanted to pop back to say hi to you all. I know that you probably don't hear from old-timers like me that often, and I know it helped me to hear from 'old-timers' and hear how well they've been doing. So here I am, 13 years down the line, well and having moved on. I never forget what happened to me. I think about it every day. It's not something I can forget about, but I don't live with the terror and dread of 'what's going to happen next." I just didn't know if I would still be here. But here I am, and I was so determined that I would be here.
My life changed in 2011, when I met the man of my dreams, got married and became a stepmum. I am really really happily married to my soul mate. I met somebody who took me on 'warts and all'!
So there you go lovely ladies, and any gents that may be around too. I had quite a poor prognosis, but my oncologist always told me he was considering the treatment he was giving me to be 'curative treatment'.
Thinking of you all going through what has been thrown your way.