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Black Mood Today From No Where!

11 REPLIES 11
Cumbrian Lady
Member

Re: Black Mood Today From No Where!

Hi Monkey

I make all sorts of things, I needlefelt (cannot knit for toffee)😁 I paint old bits of furniture, I make lace wedding wreaths (which I love doing) decoupage, I collect driftwood and make little shanty cottages I just love making things and working with bright, bright colours.
I agree with you crafting does help not only the making off but looking online for things and what others make it all takes your mind off what is going on.
Sadly my moods are also linked to other problems, not just cancer but I am normally aware they have arrived - the breakdown on Sunday was different a total loss of control from basically nowhere.

Keep on knitting crafting it is very addictive.😁

 

Thanks, Poppy xx

mb1403
Member

Re: Black Mood Today From No Where!

Hi,

Black moods come and go...I get them too...crying helps and I find that taking a moment to focus on my breathing helps to settle my mind; as does going out for a walk. I'm interested to know what you're crafting...as I'm into knitting and cross stitch. I find these outlets provide a worth while distraction.

Be kind to yourself!

Monkeyxx

Eglis
Member

Re: Black Mood Today From No Where!

Happy to hear you had a good day gardening.

i live abroad and have also pretty much managed to support myself.  I kind of think that I need to find my way along this rocky path as no one can do it for me.

very happy to have access to this brilliant site and forum.

Wishing you another good day!

Cumbrian Lady
Member

Re: Black Mood Today From No Where!

Thank you everyone yesterday was a better day, I did lots of gardening even had a bonfire (which is wonderful for getting rid of all those gremlins).
These moods of mine are part and parcel of borderline disorder so I DO understand them I think with everything else they seem so much darker and deeper.
I think about getting help - but not over the phone I would like face-to-face help which does not seem available at the moment and as for MH help that is impossible.

I also think I read about other members on here getting more support from their cancer team and it saddens me that this has never been offered to me - I finished all my treatment 8 weeks ago and I am only getting my phone check-up from the oncologist on the 8th - is it any wonder I am struggling.

Thank you one and all SO appreciated.

Poppy xx

Sandpiper
Member

Re: Black Mood Today From No Where!

Hi Poppy,

Sorry you've been having to manage your bpd and then are having had to deal with breast cancer treatment treatment alongside it, and on your own during covid restrictions as well. An extra layer on top of an extra layer to deal with. No wonder you're vulnerable to sudden black moods. Hope this one has passed and that you felt well enough to get on with your crafts afterwards.  Do you think you'll search out some support for yourself again? Sounds like it could be a help, rather than coping on your own like you've got used to doing.

Sending you a hug and look after yourself.

Sandpiper

x

 

 

 

 

Eglis
Member

Re: Black Mood Today From No Where!

Hope you are feeling a little better!

Cumbrian Lady
Member

Re: Black Mood Today From No Where!

The moods are also a part of my borderline personality disorder (which I was managing still am on the whole) but since cancer, they have reared their ugly head more often.
I already dislike myself borderline does that, but yesterday I caught sight of myself in the driving mirror, and the tears erupted at that moment in time I loathed myself.
Thank you for your suggestions, I use to see a MH Councillor but that all stopped way before Covid cutbacks and all that, so I am managing all alone.
Not sure anymore I feel I am sleepwalking and looking in from the outside.

Appreciate all kind comments and hugs.
Poppy xx

Sandpiper
Member

Re: Black Mood Today From No Where!

Dear Cumbrian Lady.

Hoping your black mood has lifted again by now. Just to say I'm sorry you're going through this - I find it hard when I feel down all of a sudden without much of a reason. 

Can you get any support especially as you've gone through all this on your own? The 'someone like me' service on here, Maggies, Macmillan, Penny Brohn Centre helplines or help via your Breast Care Nurse team - if you feel that could help a bit and it's your 'cup of tea'. 

Be kind to yourself.

Sandpiper

x

 

 

 

LouJP
Member

Re: Black Mood Today From No Where!

I have written a journal since my journey began and it helps as does a good cry.
Dont be too hard on yourself

Xx

Eglis
Member

Re: Black Mood Today From No Where!

Sorry to hear that Poppy.

Did you feel better after a good cry? It sounds like you are still in the grieving process.  Give yourself time, share your thoughts and feelings and seek support if you feel you need it.

Make sure you do something nice for yourself as often as you can!

silvertong
Member

Re: Black Mood Today From No Where!

So sorry you are feeling like this.

Do you write a journal? Online or physical, just for you to splurge out whatever you are feeling at a particular moment might help.

 

Cumbrian Lady
Member

Black Mood Today From No Where!

I was driving along on the way for my 2nd Covid injection - a lovely sunny day and plans to come home and get on with some crafts.
Suddenly from out of nowhere, I had to pull over I was crying I had this overwhelming sadness/blackness and a feeling of truly hating myself.
I am totally sick of trying to handle all of this on my own it has started to weigh me down.
I have finished all my treatment - but as with cancer nothing is ever over is it - but today it all seemed so utterly depressing.

I know these feelings are normal and they will come and I hope 'go' but even if and when they do go - they linger deep in the old memory bank no matter how hard you try not to let them take over.

Sorry for such a depressing post.

 

Poppy xx