Bev diet going okay but not really dieting trying to cut out crap which is hard for me as love my booze and chocolate and nuts, all things I shouldnt have.
Lily, boy your son sounds like a tough cookie! My throat loads better, thought I was going to be down and out but think I was maybe starting to come round before got the pills - checked and can have a few so had some wine tonight which makes me eat! Weigh in day tomorrow.
Lily wedding dresses sound fab, its sooo nice looking for them, I hated looking for mine due to being overweight but ended up finding a lovely shop who wouldnt let me try any dresses on unless I tried one on she had in hand first, didnt like it even though said could change materials etc. god it made me drop a stone when tried it on and she was sooooo right, was perfect - albeith expensive - three of my friends went to her afterwards!!!!
Anyone watching dancing on ice?? Back to work tomorrow
poor lily, your body just isnt used to lettuce leaves is it? nor mine. i just cant seem to get my head around the slimming thing. and when my back was bad and i blamed my weight to the onc, he just sits there saying tamoxifen, i really dont think its that so much as the junk im still consuming. i do eat healthilyt , but i like the naughties as well. somebody laughed the other day. i said id had a cornish pastie for lunch, and they replied "thought you were dieting" i just said i thought i was good because i didnt have cream cake after it. the trouble is they have a bakery at our hospital. otherwise i never touch pastry.
talking about boys, my youngest (13) is going through the tramp stage, i cannot get him to bath or brush his teeth, i thought it would get better when girls came on the scene, but theyre about and he still wont go near water. do you think hed notice if i give him a bed bath in the night? my other two were handfuls but they were always clean, just goes to show men are all a pain in the butt.
hope everyone else has had a peaceful weekend, and felt reasonably well. cant believe weve come so far, brilliant isnt it.
well I am floating along on a cloud today after going with my daughter to look at wedding dresses. Her friend burst into tears as soon as she walked out in the first dress but surprisingly it did not take me that way. I just kept thinking I have seen this moment and looked more like a chipmonk with a silly grin on my face.LOL. We just tried 2 local wedding shops but have already seen one in each shop that she would be very happy with. She looked absolutely beautiful, so much so that in the second shop, another bride insisted on trying the same dress and was going to buy it there and then. Apparently it takes 4 months for a dress to arrive when ordered, so anyone who needs one quicker has to choose one from the shop stock and have it altered as necessary. We have tons of time so plan to visit every shop in the county and have lots of fun trying them. I know I am biased but she looked absolutely perfect. I can't tell you how this is making my heart sing and forget everything else. Sorry had a real mummy moment there.
Bev, I am so pleased it sounds like things are getting back on track for you and that the holiday was just what you needed. Fingers crossed that the nolvadex will be good for you too and get rid of those horrible flushes. What kind of work do you do? Have a lovely visit with your Mum and family.
Angie, take that stress out on the moving. Fake cold lol. I love moving house so just feel very excited for you. I think it will be good to be living in a house where you haven't spent years looking at the bathroom tiles on chemo!! I would like to move but we will probably continue to try to do up this house as we have not done a great deal for some time. You know we have to let docs know for 6 months after finishing chemo, so it must take quite a while to completely recover inside and out. I have been trying to eat more salad and fruit but my stomach is really not happy and it started some of my ols side effects off too. Maybe we still need to eat for getting better and not for dropping a dress size. OR it could be another excuse for me to delay the diet!!LOL. Do you move next week? Big hug for your Nan x.
Lisa, I don't know about alcohol either as my son is partial to a few beers when out at friends, so said don't chance it. His tonsils are still absolutely covered in pus and disgustingly yellow. I think he may have to go back to see the doc as they were concerned about glandular fever because of his age. I don't think he has it as not tired enough. I had it when I was 18 and so did my eldest at the same age and we could not even walk up the stairs without stopping half way for ages. Mind you he is a toughy when it comes to illness and amazed the docs when he caught pneumonia as they said most would be in ITU as so severe. He was playing computer games in bed. That was a day, we went to the GP, then sent to A & E who ignored us for ages. Then when they looked at his x rays, we had to have a blue light ambulance to another hospital which specialises in children's chest conditions. I had gone in my car and was in such a panic, I overtook the ambulance on the way and arrived first!! Then 6 weeks later he broke his ankle as well as his leg in 3 places, right through his growth plate. We were taking him for check ups for years. I always say boys should come with warnings. Lorraine how did you survive 3 boys and how is your youngest's hand now? Were all yours daredevils too?
Nicky hope the house is still standing when you get back tonight and that you enjoyed the film. Did she manage to get all the cooking done herself? I have what my friend calls ' a house of trousers' meaning all males except me now and could not have a decent conversation about wedding dresses at all when I got back all hyper and wanting to let it all out!! Start getting yourself prepared for a quieter house when they go to uni, it is so strange when you are used to girls chatting and sharing news. I have to chat about man utd to get my son in a conversation!
Well hope there are no floods your way
hope your all feeling ok, and having a chilled out weekend, weathers been good here in the midlands, have a good sunday !
take care x
Hiya Lily, my throat is much better thanks, but gaggin for my weight watchers wine as I snuggle up tonight with Mamma Mia, but not sure if allowed on penicillian!!!! Surgery is a lot to deal with so going to meet sugeon and also be referred to either Newcastle or Manchester, its the nearest place that does them to me out here in far flung Cumbria!!!!
Angie - you sound really run down, make sure you get a good rest once you get in your new home - I must admit to havign the odd pains and niggles on radium side too mind x
Bev, glad you enjoyed work and thanks for the advice. Im also not sleeping much at moment, which Im assuming is down to Arimidexx
Nicky - hope you are okay x
Oh forgot to say, whatever force of nature's picking on my Nan should get the full wrath of my mood swings. She is stable now which is great but her ward's now been closed with Norovirus.... Hospitals, really not a good place for an ill person are they.
Get well soon Nana, and get out of there soon Nana.
sniffle, body has decided to fake a cold to get me out of moving... it won't work. I say fake, it could be a real one but last time I move I suspiciously got a cold too.
I also seem to be reliving chemo symptoms as I lose the weight, it's very odd. I know the body stores the toxins but here's the brief list of effects right now.
occasional small nose bleeds (probably related to being blocked up with fake cold and low iron levels), painful veins, stabbing pains in armpit (same side as radio), bleeding gums when brushing teeth, cold sores and cracked lips.
Gosh what a pretty picture. So hard to say what's causing what actually. I know a certain amount will be the weight loss and toxins and stress but can Tamoxifen mess you up like that?
I've only been on the nolvadex for a couple of weeks and so far no flushes but my moods aren't pretty.
Have a great weekend Ladies. I'm looking forward to getting my new keys tomorrow.
so glad to hear the big meet up went well that must have been lovely for you both Lily and Nicky. Lisa is really sounds as if you are having a prolonged journey to deal with and I am thinking of you but do your research and then you feel more in control of what is happening to you as you will have a better understanding good luck.
Thanks for the advice on the switch to Nolvadex from the Tamoxifen I am on with all the horrible side effects of basically not being able to sleep for longer than a couple of hours at a time. The GP has agreed to the change in medication so I can pick up the new ones next week I will report back.
Well first week of being back at work although I have done reduced hours and making the time up with holiday entitlement so I do not lose out financially. It felt so good to be doing normal things again.
Well can't be too long today as I have my mum staying this week and we are just off to visit my brother and sister in law. Will catch up in more detail later.
Angie good luck with the move but be careful and don't over do it!!
have a great weekend everyone.
love Bev x
op sounds like a lot doesn't it. I think I would have it done, especially if young like you. You could always ask to be referred if you prefer a different recon. They have meetings down here where you can go and look at volunteer's recons and ask them questions. There must be a big centre for recon in your area. You are so brave, already having more surgery than most of us. There is a lot to be said for ahving a surgeon you like though. How is your throat now?
I think it must be easier to decide if you have it all done at the same time but harder when you have got better and think about starting again. You know we will support you through it as much as we can in cyber space. If it would make you feel better about yourself, then you should go for it.
I can't believe Ulrika won!!!!! Whata fix, little Verne should have won.Going to bed now.
Lorraine good luck with the scan.
Angie - im sure its the stress o moving rather than the tamoxifen, good look with the moving too
Nicky - sounds like you had a lovely time. Yep its my birthday on Friday, same day I found the lump, and similar to Lily have a mamogram same time as found out results - wierd, didnt think Id make the year mark and other hand scared that had a year already!
Lily - glad you got a holiday booked - where you off to? Enjoy looking at the wedding dresses.
Well, seen the nurse today about recon, the only one they do in my area is latissimus dorsi flap as we dont have a plastic surgeon. I feel comfie with the surgeon and my nurse but still weighing up options. I know they wouldnt look fab but its something to put in bra without worrying about top falling down and having no cleavage. They would use back muscle and fat (plenty of that) and bring it round and put an expander implant in thats more naturl and then pump away then take port out after few months then start again on other side!!! Euuughh, hard pushed to go for it but want something done. She thought that you couldnt use your tummy for a double recon but I think others have had it on here - so more research, got a huge tummy but getting rid of it isnt my main priority. Enough waffle
p.s. Lily - Celeb Big Brother results?!?!?!?
well I don't know about moving on, I have just received another hospital appointment in the post, so that is 3 now! This one is not for months though and is for a mammo on the anniversary of my first operation. Is anyone else getting all these? I have not had any from the trial yet, so hope I don't have even more coming!! So it is full blood tests next week, the oncologist on my first day back at work and the surgeon on my 3rd day back at work. So far work have been absolutely fine about them. It is ironic that they have all come up just as I am going back to 'normal'. I guess normal has changed now! Anyway I had a very exciting day, booking a holiday for the summer and managed to wheeler dealer a good deal by getting Thomas Cook and Thompsons to go head to head, on a rainy day with no-one else in the shop. At least it gives me a reason to go back to work - to pay for it!!! In the morning it is wedding dress shopping and I am fair bursting to look at all the lovely dresses and see my daughter as a bride. She has a cold unfortunately but still keen to go. Victor is limping wounded now, and goes around very carefully but he is getting terrible cramps in his calf and foot.
Lorraine loved the story, made me smile. When will you hear about the scan? Hope they don't keep you wondering too long and that it is the news we all wish for you. Angie - very interesting idea about women and will look that up. The wedding venue looked lovely, I did eventually remember to look at it! Good luck with the more mundane job of packing boxes and wishing you both health and happiness in your new home. Lisa, my son is on the same tablets as you, from the sound of it. The 3 hours is a killer isn't it? His tonsils are yellow and the tablets don't seem to be making much difference although in himself, he seems brighter. he went back to school for one day and then was ill again this morning. Hope you are not as bad as him - miserable illness to have.
Nicky - oh poor you on the M25, how far extra did you go? I feel bad you having such a journey. Can we do a deal and I will donate hair but you have to take bulges as well!!! (Lorraine I think it is just us 2 on the cakes you know!) Thank you for your kind comments and next time you come, I can show you the clip of you on tv another 3 times!!! LOL. I hope you enjoy the film and that the house is not over run when you return. I was reading about trials showing that walking 3 - 5 miles a week is beneficial in Bc. I did start walking but seem to have stopped without realising. I am feeling a bit stiff at times so not sure if it is lack of exercise or the nolvadex.
Julia how did you get on today? Hope they have a good plan for you now that involves as little intervention as possible with great results. You must have almost finished rads now, are you on fire?? Hope not. Bev hope you are still feeling good from the holiday. I think you spurred me into action.
glad nicky and lily had a great time. been for scan today, feeling ok about it, but then again i felt ok before, and what a suprise that was. but what ever will be, i will face, but it would be nice to have good news.
my friend made me laugh today, her grandaughter whos 3 was constipated, and shed been trying to go on the downstairs loo without much success, so she wandered up to the one upstairs. her mum asked what she was doing and she said
"the toilet downstairs isnt working" bless her. if only treating constipation was that easy.
hope you all have a fun and relaxing weekend!
It's been a busy 2 days what with my full circuit around the M25 when my sat nav wasn't as accurate as it could be on the way home from Lilys' ,as well as work all day today. As you can see we did meet up and managed to talk all the time! Wow Lily you really know how to big me up! As to the 'thin' bit I guess the eyes are still not right? Lily is as lovely as you all imagine and a very young looking 40-something year old. She had far more hair than me and I was quite envious and realised quite how short mine is still - especially when she insisted on a photo for posterity! I'd also like to report back that at no point did she try to murder me - just to set the record straight! In fact I should have stayed off here for a few days to get you all worried 😉 Seeing myself on TV was not particularly pleasant as, again, I looked far worse than I imagined. Why she wanted to keep showing me I do not know! Her grandson is an absolute delight and so well behaved as he had to put up with us nattering all the time and disturbing his video watching. So all in all a great success which we hope to repeat soon. The TTT was out so I didn't get the smothering I'd been promised - hooray! Well, that's our update - how are the rest of you doing?
Angie - sounds stressful! Hope it doesn't get any worse otherwise everyone had better watch out. Maybe have long walk into the middle of nowhere and have a good scream?
Lisa - hope you get over all your bugs soon and the penicillin doesn't upset your stomach too much, I think we're all still a bit delicate in that area - well I am anyway. Is your birthday next week? If so let us know and maybe we can all let each other know so we can raise a glass to a better one than last year's.
Lorraine - hope all went well today and the results come back quickly without any nasty surprises.
Julia - hope appt with Prof gave you some good or helpful news as well. It seems when there's some other health 'problem' interfering with what treatment we need for BC that there's no communication and it takes ages to get sorted.
Bev - hope the tan's faded - only joking. I bet you are so rested and relaxed after your hols. It's such a good time to go away when the UK is so dismal and you're the only one looking healthy! Make the most of it, it will be ages before we see anything like that here.
I've got a quiet weekend and hope to see Slumdog Millionaire on Saturday. We need to get out as YD's got 10 friends coming over for her 'canape evening' Hope she gets it all done as I really don't want to be the sous chef! Hopefully the weather is nice enough for a couple of walks.
To all of you, have a great weekend and hope I've not missed anyone off, sorry and didn't mean to is I have. I always forget when we start a new page as going backwards involves too much cut and pasting!
Waaah... (sounds of moving)
Lots of info/opinions re photograhy, all a bit wierd to me. Try Googling John Swannell. now that's a photographer (we do his website too). I love his work. In fact looking through his nudes portfolio really helped me after my bilateral mastectomy as it made me realise just how much breasts do not define the woman. It's not something I've ever mentioned on this forum as in all honesty I don't want to challenge people, especially when they're going through treatment but maybe you'd see what I did, the beauty of being female... not tits.
You may or may not like it, I love his stuff.
You may recognise it too of course. I expect you'd know the pics he's taken of the queen for example.
And you don't want to know what his rate is, assuming he's not busy LOL.
So great you met up... baths run. more later
Angie (queen b**ch on tamoxifen, does not suit me but may be stress of moving too)
Lily and Nicky, sooo glad you had a lovely day together, sounds like it was good to meet in person! Im sooo shy when I meet people in person.
Im on the old 8 penicillian a day too, but as have to be on empty stomach hoping will help the diet!
Anniversaries are wierd arent they, I found mine on 30th my birthday, got appointment fo 6th and then confirmed on 13th - its wierd scared to celebrate but want to too.
Hope everyone well and Angie that you are getting packed up
well we talked and talked and talked and talked and in between we well talked - for 4 hours !!!! BUT she definitely talked more than me !! LOL . I had a really special day and was so chuffed that Nicky drove so far to meet up. She is as you would imagine charming, elegant, THIN, very easy to talk to and she HAS hair and it looks lovely. I met wiggy, thanks Nicky. Not sure how much you enjoyed watching yourself on sky, but I enjoyed watching you watch yourself, if that makes sense. Hope there were no hold ups on the M25 and thanks for the text, so i know you are not still doing circuits round that horrible road tonight! My family are still chuckling at the mass murderer bit! It is only the tank top terror who needs to fear! After you had gone, the little chap said Nanna are you tired after doing all that talking? I had to play shops for the rest of the afternoon to make up for gluing him to 200 episodes of Pink Panther, so we could get a few words in!!
Anyway thanks again for driving and this is definitely the first of our meetings, well I hope so x.
Lorraine, no I think we could have kept talking for months, maybe years even!! Can I wish you lots of luck with your scan too and hope it is just picking up little childrenitis. Have you shaken off the worst of your cold yet? I hope so. I am not a Jade fan but would not wish that on anyone. Personally I hate seeing the pictures of her bald everywhere, bit selfish of me but just reminds me of that time all over again and makes other people ask me things that I was trying to forget! I have not read any of the articles about her though, just saw the pictures in shops. Anyway I will be thinking of you tomorrow and hoping for the best news.
Lisa, I think half the country has tonsilitis at present and it is a particularly nasty bug. My son has to take 8 penicillin each day and is really struggling to get them all down. Sorry to hear you got it too and make sure you stay off work if not well. His temperature hit 39 and he has a stiff neck and a lot of headaches, so keeping a close eye on him.He went back to school today but was worn out afterwards. You take care. The show sounded very exciting but very long. It is great to have been to it though. I will look out for that show when it comes back on.
Julia, yes anniversaries and bad memories all round at the moment. Not only do I have a check up with my surgeon on Monday (3rd day back at work) but today my oncology appointment came through for my first morning back in work!! Wonder what they will make of that. So grrrr that is also another blood test to get done before I go. I was just enjoying getting out of going for them. I met a lady this week who is on the same trial as us and it brought it all back talking to her, so long! Lots of luck with your last 3 days on rads but even more so with sorting your treatment out tomorrow. If in doubt you can always ask for a second opinion. Keep us posted as usual. I too am a little concerned at what I might be having at these appointments. The only mammos I have had were agony and the woman pushed me about so much I felt quite distressed. Re the photos, it is unbelievable but they are one of the big costs now, mainly as you ahve to pay for copyright to be able to get the cd. There are cheaper deals if you just have an album but they are still around Â£900. They won't chance anyone else doing them so we will just keep looking round. Good luck tomorrow. Hi everyone I didn't mention before
Well this has been such a nice week, meeting Nicky and going to look at wedding dresses on Saturday. Even one would have floated me along all week. Hope you all have a special moment this week. Makes it all worthwhile.
Lily x x
where are lily and nicky,?
hope theyve not been locked up!
just cant imagine the day theyve probably had, they probably are all talked out. i think its so good having the support of others who are treading the same path.
thank you all for the kind wishes on my scan tommorow, in one way im looking forward to it, hopefully it may bring reasuring news.
got to go and fill my tax form in, i only have a few days left, speak to you all soon.
and lily/nicky maybe we can all club together and put up the bail, we couldnt do with out your tales on here.
Well Im sooo excited to hear how Lily and Nicky's meeting goes - have fun but not toooo much xx
Britians got Talent in Glasgow - well what can I say, Simon Cowell is tiny, ant and Dec and cuties and well, Glasgow had very little talent - we were there queing up for 2 hours I was freezing and as you know sore head and stiff neck and sore throat had started!!!! The show took 4 hours in total with all the stops and starts, however one of the funniest people was the person who keeps you entertained! Well as we hit the afternoon session we got allt he dance troups (obivously had to leave for bed time). Got home very tired and cold at midnight but had a lovely day but.....
to top it all, throat was very painfull this am - decided to go to Docs, always at back of mind something wrong - well guess what, Ive got tonsillitus (cant spell), got some penicillian for a week and keep bouking every time I talk as feel like there's a golf ball inside - but in a stange way its nic eto have something normal for a change!!! Of course it may help with the diet but doesnt help when Im talking and bauking at my boss!!!
Have fun all
Hi: Going to try to do catch up before I have to go off to be fried again – last three coming up.
Guess we are all coming up with anniversaries of the type we do not want. Yesterday 12 months since seeing doc with lump, then in two weeks I have the first hospital appointment, and then on and on. Think I will mark each one with a glass of bubbles – any excuse!!
Angie: Sorry to hear your nan is not too good, let's hope they can pull her through. Glad the scumbags didn't get the expenses thing thru but knowing this lot they will find a way of sneaking it in under the door. Do you think that strange noise some of us can hear is the first of the worms turning against ghastly Gordon, or is that wishful thinking? Good luck with the house move, fingers crossed for dry weather. Just read that Obama doesn't have the lovely Gordon top of his visitors list – obviously man of taste.
Hey: if I've added up the dates correctly today must be the big Nicky/Lily meeting. Who said the Obama thing was the most important this week!!
Lily: can't you encourage them all to elope? Â£2,500 for the snaps? Haven't you got a kind friend with a decent diggie camera who can be bribed to stay sober?
Glad the day at the office was good. Must have been great seeing all (well almost all) the people who have missed you. I know you are going to just love it when you get back there.
Re the spelling mistook - now you know why I use word and get it spell checked rather that type straight on to the site. See I can't spell propolis, either. How the hell have I managed to be employed for 40-odd years. Still so long as it makes you larf!
The battered boob is still OK, bit pink but not sore or anything. Yes, I am more concerned with the heart thing now but am seeing Prof again this Friday and will ask even more questions. I have had the tachycardia for about 35 years and the only time it went away was when I did loads of aerobics and strengthened the heart muscles. Guess I could go that route for a while and see what effect it had – they may even pay for my gym membership.
Bevy: sounds like you had a great time, the thought of some warm sunshine is lovely. Will start searching for some of that when I have finished the rads and sorted out the future. Always love the washing and clearing away bit after a trip, makes it all worthwhile – not.
Lorraine: good luck with the scans tomorrow.
Someone mentioned bloody mammograms – if anyone thinks they are shutting my poorly bit into the squashing machine again, they can think again. They can pay out for an ultra-sound!
hugs to all
Fingers crossed for the scan and results, when will you find out? Really hope it's just all the hormone and bone stuff kicking in rather than anything else and boy do I know where you're coming from on this as any extra creak I feel makes me start wondering. I've not read too many articles either by or on Jade other than knowing she's in a dreadful position which none of us want to be in, must read the thread on here but don't know what's been said so far. Wouldn't wish any of this on anyone. Not sure which shop Lily mentioned but on Monday when I had my bisphos in hospital one of the ladies who was also having it said she'd just got a job at her local hospice shop. Not sure if it's volunteer work but if not they may be worth contacting. Good luck with everything and hope the cold clears up soon. Like the idea of a cream cake though - hope Lily is listening LOL
Take care Lorraine and everyone
ps - maybe I won't go now that the TTT has been mentioned again!
i really cant believe im getting frustrated by a cold , like lily says its suprising things like that get us down after all the other rubbish weve been through. but i think i was enjoying galavanting about and what with my bad back last week, and now this, im just a little ------------------------------------------------------- (some words best left unsaid).
what do you all think about jade? ive always thought she was an ok girl, shes been through a lot in life, but she doesnt really moan, just gets on with it, and she explains the emotions so well, when she talks about discussing things with her children, and wanting to protect them. i really hope she does well.
im trying to imagine you and nicky meeting up tommorow, and for some reason it makes me chuckle. how nice to be able to meet each other after what youve shared online. just look out everyone! i can imagine the mischief you can get up to.
i bet your going to have a big fat cream cake as well. thanks for the thoughts on the job shop lily, someone else had suggested going and paying them a visit. so thats on my agenda soon. anyway have fun tommorow, and report back promptly, dont keep; us in suspence.
everyone else hope your out there getting on with life, i thank god for each and everyday especially since weve finished treatment, just hoping my scans ok on friday
goodnight, sleep tight.
Nicky, I think I have told everyone I know that you are coming, so don't be surprised if people flap curtains to look at you.LOL only joking! Now have I accidentally given you the address for the tank top terror??? What a treat that would be and I'm sure you would get at least a big snog on your neck!! Only joking again, it is the correct address! Hope the traffic is light so you can bomb round the M25 and stay as long as possible. I am really chuffed that you are driving such a long way to meet up and will have your tv appearance primed and ready for you to groan over!! Can't wait!
Julia, I had to laugh, is your first sentence an indication of how rads is taking over your life right now? Hope it stays calm, mine took off on day 16, the day after I finished and had no-one to show it to. Still you can bare it all to that lovely sea breeze if it gets too hot to handle!! It seems your other health issues are going to have to be balanced with the onc's personal preferences on drugs, to find out what is best for you. Hope he comes up with a good plan on Friday. You might check whether he has taken advice from the cardio team as he can't be an expert in that field too. I would have thought that your heart function takes priority right now, especially as your stats are good enough to make a decision to stop Bc treatment now if you needed to. The heart is more black and white than BC when it comes to decisions. good luck anyway.
It feels quite sad as I am doing all my ' going back to work soon' last visits. All the social life I have made at home for 10 months now has to try to fit into my busy work schedule. I hope people will be ok with me not seeing them every week now, just not enough time. Took my Mum out on a trip this morning. I tried a top on that I thought was lovely AND it fitted, most importantly. I came out of the only changing room and Mum said it doesn't do much for you, pointed to the lady waiting next to her and said, she doesn't think it does much for you either! The woman's face was a picture! So I shut the door, counted to 10 and tried to work out why I thought it looked nice when they didn't (possibly just that it fitted), only to hear my Mother telling this woman all about my BC so everyone was staring when I came out! I went straight to the till and bought it anyway!!! Some things I won't miss about going back to work.
Well wishing you all a good week and frost free windscreens.
Have been at work today and then straight to Tesco to get my YD's ingredients for her canape party she is holding for friends on Saturday. She's paying by the way and OH and I just have to make ourselves scarce for a few hours. Having got back late I haven't much to report on other than tomorrow is the BIG Day when Lily and Nicky meet! Just making sure OH has filled the car with petrol and then a lovely scenic drive around the M25 - hardly any stress at all I should think! I'm sure we'll report back but after all we've talked about and experienced I'm hoping it's like meeting a well acquainted (I couldn't say 'old' now could I?) friend. Let's hope the roads are clear so I get to spend more than a few mins there before heading home!
Good luck to all with Tamoxifen prescriptions. Arimidex seems OK and certainly not getting anything like the hot flushes I had at original dx 5 yrs ago and I've been on it long enough for them to have kicked in. can't believe I'm still wearing long sleeves, definitely couldn't when I'd been put on Zoladex 1st time round. Julia - only 3 to go and then I hope you can forget all of this.
Take care all, see you tomorrow Lily for a bigger catch up. Will text you when I'm leaving.
Hi: what a lot to rad. As usual will catch up tomorrow when back in office and can spend a decent amount of time reading all your lovely news.
Meeting with onc was OK. Gave him family heart history - cousins and g/parents dropping dead with heart attacks between 40/55, etc. Wasn't too worried about that with me as was more concerned about my heart muscles than arteries. Unfortunately my heart beats so quickly the MUGA scan couldn't take proper pictures so need ECG, waiting for appointment. Have been for blood test today for everything including thyroid and cholesterol to see which hormone I get. He did think we may go staight to arimidex but will know after test results - will see him again this Friday. One thing I have never been convinced about were my survival stats, Angie you came up with some good answers to that some time ago. He said that my 67% was post op and that chemo would 10%, rads 5% and herceptin 5% which would get me up to top 80's - wow, that's better. I guess the hormone stuff will make a contribution too. Not sure I will be able to have Herceptin due to the heart thing but will sort that out over the next coupleof weeks.
So far the frying seems OK - bit pink and itchy but nothing else. Have no 12 of 15 today, it does seem to have gone by quickly but it is still a pain driving there and back. Never mind, nearly over. WIll look out for the porpopolis aloe vera, I have just got the ordingary stuff.
WIll chat more tomorrow when I can read all the fab stuff you have been up to.
Nicky, I am nearly being sick laughing about being a mass murderer!! I guess all the warnings to the girls about strangers and chat rooms backfired on you! At least they are wise to reality which should keep them safer. Tell them I am so short and unfit that you could hold me off with one finger IF NECESSARY!!! Shall I fax my CRB certificate over??
What a hoot! Had my hair redyed today, just in time for your visit. Hairdresser said I have loads more hair now and even better there is a lot of new growth still coming through - wish it was on my head.LOL LOL! Not long to go now!!
Lorraine hope that cold goes soon. I had a cough and found I was really impatient and annoyed that I had it. You wouldn't think we would bat an eyelid after what we have been through would you? How is your back? Victor is still doing his John Travolts impersonation and thinks they are helping. I drove him to the station today and yesterday but he is going to attempt to travel solo tomorrow on the 5am train. I think he forgets about it at work so better to have a distraction. His firm are really busy so he needs to get back. Have you been to the job centre about work? I think if you are actively looking for work, you could get some benefit until then and also they have cash help when you start a job.Worth asking as I found they were quite eager to help 'people covered by the disability act.'
Lisa hope you have a fab time at the show and what a lovely idea to take people to it. I would love to see it, can't wait to hear all about it.I have a lot of work sorting my things out as they left a 23 year old male in my area! Argh. it didn't look like my little home any more. The only thing not removed were the photos of my children on the wall. Have you asked for a good chair for your back yet? Do you think you will manage a holiday at all this year? I think we all deserve a break but easier said than done sometimes.
Angie, I think I need a memory transplant some days. It is multi tasking that I can't do very well now. I also can't have a conversation with one person while listening to another, which is a skill that was invaluable when teaching. Hope your Nan gets on ok. I am a bit cynical about politicians as yet to see one that does what they say they will. Reality checks in when they realise that it is impossible to please everyone, especially as America is such a diverse country. They are so far behind us in many ways. Anyway so glad to hear you have something to get your teeth into and hope the move goes really smoothly. Get that broadband sorted asap so we can hear from you. Hope the nolvadex continues to be nice to you.
Bev I am glad your return to work went well too and take it easy for a while. I think if you said the consultant is happy for you to change or even stronger that you have discussed it and onc agrees, the GP will go along with it. They are not usuallly very knowledgable and if he/she says no ask for something to prevent the flushes. I jus think yoiu really push your symptoms if they don't agree straight away. Soon they will be free anyway so will make no difference to the GP surely? Great to think we can all get them free soon, as well as all our other prescriptions, about time too. If not try Angie's tactic in Boots.
Julia how is the tanning going? Hope you are not going up in smoke like I felt I was. You must be through it all soon, what a great thought.
Well must just catch some of celebrity big brother to watch them all arguing and being pretty pathetic! I still keep watching it though.
Bev. I just had a prescription for Tamoxifen but went to boots and kicked up a fuss. Nolvadex-D is a form of tamoxifen and I essentially said I don't want extra side effects and I'm not leaving until they give me my chosen brand as I had been told that the side effects would be lower in me
I didn't tell then that it was here that I knew that I just said "Isn't Nolvadex-D tamoxifen"... yes he said. "That's the one I want" I glared. repeat until they cave, best done when there's a queue of people with colds looking sorry for you LOL.
he also said that I'm now on their system and will automatically be given the same thing next time so if in doubt and you really want Nolvadex go to boots with a stern face.
oh yes Lily ofcourse the famous Nicky!! that will be good. So glad you too have been able to return to work and move back into the real world and not the horrible place we have all been for the last 6 months or more. I had my first day back today and got on o.k. and it was lovely to see everyone my only problem is the tamoxifen is causing me to feel really really cold inside one minute and then hot flushes the next. This happened in Tenerife too so it is not down to our horrible weather! although that doesn't help. I saw the Onc yesterday and told him that I would like to try Nolvadex instead but he implied I might have trouble getting it and would need to check with my GP so I have made myself an appointment for Friday. I will have a blood test done soon to check on my hormonal level now and then see the Onc again in Nov to check it again with a view to swapping to an aramotose inhibitor if post menopausal. I will have a mammagram in May (aghhhhhh that will be the anniversary) and then I believe also see the surgeon for a physical. So I have a few months of nomality to forget it all once I can get these side effects under control.
Good luck Angie you sound as if you have your work cut out for you. I agree Obama was amazing let's just hope he is the man he appears to be and doesn't get tainted along the way.
Lisa hope the arm is improving have they given you lots of exercises to do to help it?
Love to all
Wow - amazing about Obama - let's hope he's the gift that everyone thinks and hopes he is. Quite emotional watching it unlike when Dubbl - ya was sworn in!
I've also been busy with work (today) and treatment (yesterday). A busy week with my A list visit to the folks in Essex!
Lisa hope the arm improves. Also I get headaches, I'm sure it's Arimidex and I too think of Brain mets, which is even scarier for me as my mets are already here, arghhhhh. I'm sure another cause of mine is tension and stress from the past year. I've had stress headaches before and I can definitely feel my shoulders being very tense. I need a massage and have to chase up my local hospice who give them for free to us mets girls.
Angie - busy or what? Understand if you're not in touch, lots going on and really hope your Nan is doing OK.
Bev - how's the tan. I remember having one of those once - don't they happen in what's known as the sun? Hope it's not been back to earth with a bump but a gentle glide!
Lorraine - never rains but it pours doesn't it? Hope you are resting up and get the back seen to soon. ALso that the scans show no further problems.
Julia - hope you are ok and keeping busy?
Lily - not long now! Please don't be a mass murderer - my girls are quite concerned about my internet meetup 😉
Bye for now, gotta sort out food for the hoards - well OH and 1 daughter!
That's better, Nana's back on a normal ward and Obama was just sworn in so today's got a *lot* better.... phew.
Lily, glad you got back to school and saw everyone, at least that's done now and you can move on to whatever new normal you want.
Now's a really good time to read up on CoQ10 if you haven't, I've been taking it to help get my cognitive powers back, it's supposed to help memory and conversion of food to energy. It's just a vitamin but I think it may be helping. I notice if I forget to take it for a few days.
Hope to catch up with the thread in a few days, it's mad here. Moving house in a week, work's gone mad because there's a big vote in Parliament on Thursday on MP's expenses, looks like some of them are trying to stop the publication of that data, and they tried to do it sneakily so we have 1 week to tell the world before they get away with it.
Nan's still in hospital and I'm hoping to see her later this week, looks like all 4 heart valves are leaking. It's not good at all, nothing short of a miracle. In the darker moments I fear the my Mum may loose her mother and daughter this year but I'm determined if I have anything to do with it that won't happen and my Nan's made of tough stuff too.
Stay warm and well ladies and don't worry if I'm quiet it'll be work/family/moving/weddings/dog/walking/moving... did I mention moving.... Wah
Loads of love
Good luck with going back Lily - its wierd but nice - I like to be in control so hate that I wasnt and others had been tampering but back in control now!
Well enjoy your TV Star guest!
Oh, forgot to tell you all, i visited a web site called applause store where you can apply for free tickets for shows - got 8 free tickets for Britian's Got Talent tomorrow in Glasgow so Im off to see Ant and Dec and Simon Cowell etc. - sad but excited. Decided to take some family down as a little thank you!!!!
best wishes lily on your return to work, i have a cold now, so i will just have to chill out what with that and me back everytime i sneeze i dont know if to hold my back or cross me legs cause the bladders a bit weak at the moment. i feel ive aged in a very short space of time. goodnight god bless x
Bev, surely you guessed who the tv star is, or have you forgotten (Nicky)? The holiday sounds fab and I am so jealous about sun, I could just soak it up. Keep us posted how it goes with the onc. I really don't know why but some docs seem to want to see people more often. Will let you know what goes on but think it is touchy feely. Can't wait!!!
Lisa I have been told by the research nurse that brain mets are rare from Bc and that is why they allow us to use the cold cap. No consolation to poor people who get them though. I think the level of worrying we have is enough to give anyone a headache. Try chilling out and remember some huge % of headaches can be cured by drinking water as being a bit dehydrated can cause them. Not sure if that works but an easy remedy to test out at least. Good luck and hope they soon go. How did today go Nicky? You should have some weeks of freedom now. Roll on Thursday!
Hi to everyone else on here and hope you are ok.
Well I had my big return to work today, all planned to a tee. Dropped Victor at the station to try a short day at work and went on to school for a quiet meeting and visit to see some members of staff. Next thing, the fire alarm goes off and so all 1200 of the kids see me as we line up for the fire registers. What a hoot! I had lots and lots of hugs, ignored by a couple of people, and managed to stay grinning and not get emotional, thank goodness. Actually I did not feel sad at all but absolutely shattered when i got home afterwards. Someone has bust my laptop so oh dear I have a brand new one waiting for my return! I had forgotten how disgustingly like mud the cheap coffee tastes like though. Most of my things have been chucked around by the newest tenent of my desk and all my notes taken down, argggh my brains! Still they say they are going to let me do very little for the 2 weeks before half term and would I be happy to sit in the office. Yes! It will be great as I should be able to poodle about and work out where everything has moved to in my absence. Also got to shake my department up a lot as a lot of people have done bits and bobs while I was away. Didn't think it was the right time to ask for a rise!! LOL.
Hiya Bev, swelling I noticed in my elbow but my upper arm always seemed slightly larger since surgery - its 3cm bigger near the top but from elbow down its all the same, smaller in one case!!!
Lily headaches banging a bit and although not dizzy inside my head feels a bit dizzy, got worried a bit about brain mets but will take some pracetomal and see what happens!!!! Also might go and get eyes tested just in case!!
Lily good news re the job hope you get sorted!!!
Now Lily you can't leave us in suspense like that! who is it?? I went to Tenerife for my hols which is a great place to go for some winter sun as they get sunshine all yaer around how unfair is that! Sorry to hear your family have beein going through the illnesses it is such a horrible time of year of all the bugs hopefully this really cold weather will kill a few off (not people! the bugs) I too have a large lump under my scar but I assume that is scar tissue and will take a time to disperse if indeed it ever does go completely. Interesting that you see the Surgeon again I only saw mine prior to chemo and will not see her now until June? seems a long time but I guess they know what they are doing. Likewise I still have swelling of my index finger and thumb that really has never gone down so I am hoping that too is post surgery and will eventually sort itself out and on the dreaded L, I did see a lympodema nurse about it and she measured my arm and it is bigger than the other so she has suggested I have a sleeve to wear when I am doing heavy work (me doing heavy work where did at come from) such as gardening or heavy duty housework well I certainly wont have to worry about the housework but I do love my gardening so will follow instructions. I will be interested to learn what others are advised.
Lisa did your swelling begin in the hand? I hope all is o.k. but as I said I have been advised to wear the dreaded sleeve (although thankfully only for heavy duty work and I hope it remains like that) as like you I don't want that kind of daily reminder.
Nicky so good to hear you are back at work and enjoying the normality and that people have been paying you compliments for the new hair style just what you need
Angie so sorry to hear about your Nan.
Lorraine what a blow being told not to continue with the job still I am sure something else will turn up for you that in the end will be better and you must listen to advice as you say health comes first (and don't we all know that to be true!)
Julia I used aloe vera propolis cream the whole time during rads and really had very little redness or soreness the hospital staff were all impressed with the condition of my skin and I usually burn easily being faired skinned. I am still slapping it on now post rads just to make sure all will stay well. It is amazing how quickly the body forgets about the horrible times (thank goodness) just needs a bit of special treatment.
Well I had better get that case unpacked and clothes washed (the horrible part of a holiday) and then go shopping,no food in the house either and then off to see the Onc. Will let you know how I get on before returning to work tomorrow!
Love to you all Bev x
Bev, welcome back and wow you sound like it did you the power of good. I think you might need another, later in the year!!! LOL. Where did you go on holiday? I am trying to book a holiday but things/ill people keep stopping me. I'll get there eventually.
Lisa, do you mean your arm is 2cm wider than the other? I have never checked mine but I thought the right arm (if right handed) was always a bit bigger as you use the muscles more. You have me wondering now, how did you spot yours? I hope I have more frequent checks but don't know. I have the postponed check up with the surgeon in a fortnight and also waiting for an appointmnet to check my blood has returned to normal again, with the onc. That one is supposed to be within 6 weeks of finishing rads, so prob Feb too. Not sure what happens with the trial as my nurse has changed jobs and no-one else has contacted me yet. Headaches are tricky aren't they as they are a known side effect of so many drugs as well as being just a normal thing. Don't let the mind wander too much, anything dodgy, I believe, would also make you dizzy or have balance problems. If in doubt check it out though. I am trying to keep my imagination away from thinking about the lump under my scar!!! Easier said than done.
Well Victor is back to work tomorrow and now my son is ill. Typical!!! His temperature is 38.8 and I think it is tonsilitis but always keep an eye on him as he had severe pneumonia a few years back and ended up in hospital. He is boiling hot but wrestling me to get the covers back as he feels cold. Rotten trying to take tablets with a lumpy throat. So I think I will take him off to the doc for some antibiotics tomorrow and then knowing him, he will want to go back to school. Just for the social life and pool table you understand, not a studious type!! I wish! I have been having a good chuckle at Victor doing his exercises as he has to do alternate arms and legs, which make him look like he is doing the Saturday night fever dance. Can't help singing it every time and when he tries to get back on his feet!!!! Well I could be sick laughing as he has such long legs and is like a crashlanded daddy longlegs.LOL. So lots of sympathy from me!!! I should really try harder after all his caring for me but men are not good patients are they?
I am off to see the Headmaster tomorrow to see what job he has planned for me. It will be strange being back but I think it will just be in his office and prob won't see my lovely tutees.
Have a good week. I have a tv star coming to see me this week. Beat that!!
Lily x x
Bev glad you had a lovely time, sounds just like what you needed.
Lily, arm about 2cms, really dont want bloody sleeve but needs must. My check up is just a feel around which Ihave every 12 weeks, have mamogram next week and told I would continue every year without doubt so check that.
Getting used to hair - its only bout cm but doing okay, lashes seem to be loosing a little again but maybe it just me. Lots of headaches but hoping its just pills! Trying to have some normal time now - thanks for info on teeth will see how brave, more needles - my phobia of them has eased a little but get wound up cos of lack of viens, longer go without having one the worse it comes up again.
Hope everyone had a nice weekend!!!
Found you all!
Just a quick note as I have not been back long and need to unpack etc etc and so haven't had a chance to catch up with all the posts yet but just to let you know I thoroughly recommend a drop of sunshine. It has done me the world of good my eybrows are completely back, eylashes longer than before! and hair appearing albiet still pretty sparce but it is coming back! I had a lovely relaxing time and feel my energy levels are back to normal to the point that had one late night clubbing session! (yes I am not past it yet) and was up dancing to the a tribute band of the Drifters until 2 a.m. I was amazed. I see the Onc tomorrow and need to ask if my tamoxifen can be altered maybe to the Nolvaldex as the one I am on doesn't allow much sleep as I am either boiling or freezing so sleeping for longer than a couple of hours seems to be impossible. Back to work on Tuesday! so normal life resumes.
Sorry will read everyone's post and catch up properly.
love to you all Bev xx
Lisa sorry to hear you think you might have lymphoedema, is your arm very swollen? Keep us posted how you get on with that. Someone had posted lymph exercises to do if you can find them on a search. I have an idea Fizbix was either posting them or reading them, if you want to ask her. Good to be getting signed off by some of the hospital departments and you have your fair share of them! Do you know what they will do on your check up, I have no idea ? I think check ups are going to be scary times for us all but at least we will all be having them at similar times so won't feel so alone. Nurse sort of implied to me that I would be put on 3 year mammos, do you think that can be right? I will probably go privately if they do. Regarding your teeth, my son had a white plastic brace, which hardly showed. We had to pay as not covered by NHS but no choice as he is allergic to certain metals and we had been told it would definitely cause problems if he had a regular one. I think if it is important to you, then go and do it. Not that many things that are in our control these days. The wedding arghhh, will I cope/afford 3 more after my eldest??? She phoned a photographer and it was Â£2500 for him to take the shots and produce an album, everyone else paid extra for any they wanted!!! I must be totally out of touch as I thought it was a horrendous price. Angie, does Tommy do weddings??? If not get him into them quick and have a life of leisure.LOL.
Nicky congrats on getting through a full week of work and enjoying it too, wow a real result!! Lots of luck for a smooth treatment on Monday and then just think, peace again for weeks. When is your birthday? Mine is 2nd Feb. Angie, you and I must be close in dx dates and birthdays, weird!!! Anyone else got a birthday soon? We all seem to be having a think back to last year. Mine was dx on 29 Feb so I won't go through that date again for 4 years. It was 6 weeks after my boss was dx and I had been really trying to support her, and about a fortnight after my friend's secondary was dx - we all work at the same place! Some of our friend's there said they had their hand down their jumper checking every day after us lot. How many needles do you think we have had in the last year? I sometimes wonder if they can spot us from space with the amount of radiation we have all accumulated!!LOL. MY scar from having the port out has turned into a marble like hard lump, which is so on my mind right now. I know it is almost certainly shrinkage from the rads, what do you think? Victor managed to be up for quite a lot of the day so looking good for Monday. He said he will go in late and take it easy, so I can drop him right outside the station, rather than a longish walk from the commuter car park. He gets the 5am train usually so not looking forward to doing that drive, if I have to!! BTW stop taking the mickey out of my memory problems with texts, I am covered by the Disability act!! I will tell my cleaner to do extra work on the carpet for you!!! How long will you be able to stay? I can talk for weeks!!
Julia hope the sting hasn't settled in yet and how did you get on with the onc? Hope it went as you wished.
Angie how are you doing on the nolvadex? Hope it is not giving you flushes.
Well, just completed my 1st 'full' week of work and really enjoyed it. It felt good to be doing more normal things and this is the first 4 weeks in a looooong time where I haven't been to a hospital for anything since last March. Of course this was ruined yesterday by my blood test for my treatment on Monday but, fingers crossed, all will go smoothly and I'll be done for another 4 weeks. Plus point was no longer wearing wiggy and getting compliments that my new look suits me. I'm now in my 'anniversary' time since my dx last year. I found out my lump was BC the day before my YD's 17th birthday so we were all upset plus her bl**dy boyfriend had dumped her so all in all a pretty rough time for her and us. Plus my b'day was (is) a few days after hers so can't say mine was much good either. That's why we're intending to have a great time for her 18th and then for my 40th (ha, ha - only kidding, 47th really) just after. Just have to hope I don't get any scan appointments before or that I can put them off till just after.
Angie - hope your Nan is well on the road to recovery.
Lisa - sounds like you're getting on with things which is great. Sorry if it is lymphodema but hopefully if it's caught early there's more that can be done for you. Take a big breather from any ops and enjoy some time away from BC and all that it entails.
Lorraine - I know you are 'meant' to be on your last legs for DLA but you can apply under the special rules part. You need to get your GP or (I think) MacMillan nurse or onc to sign the form for you. It is a bit scary as basically it's saying you are not expected to live longer than 6 months however I argued the point with my GP that 'who can tell?' as he was reluctant to do it. Also the benefits advisor I saw says there are many thousands of people on DLA under special rules who have been for over 18 months. I really am not a sponger but, as was pointed out on another thread, we can't guarantee drawing our pensions when we've got secondaries so we should get any help we can now. You also get a disability badge (which I don't intend using for a long time) which may hep you with parking if your back is really painful and mobility is impaired for a while. Definitely worth looking into. Hope your look for a new job goes well but I know what you mean about liking being at home - it's so easy to do nothing all day even when there's loads you should be doing. Also hope your son's arm is getting better and he's not done any permanent damage.
Julia - nearly finished in the fryer then? Must be over half way by now (I think) Look after yourself, you can get very tired towards the end of it all. Hope appt with onc sorted your next options out for you and it went the way you wanted.
Lily - well D day minus 5 and counting! Let's hope we don't scream too much (as in your dream/vision!) when we meet up. I hope I'm not expected to wait on Victor as well? Would be a bit too much in one day to try out my bedside manner! Do you need texts for everything? If so I'll text you to remind you that I'm visiting - make sure the red carpet is hoovered please! It is so easy to forget these dys. I don't think I've been too affected by chemo brain but if I don't make a note about something it doesn't happen - having said that it was like that before chemo so maybe senility was on it's way already!
Take care all, plus anyone I've not included. Bev - hope you have the time to read all these posts when you get back, can't believe we're up in the 70's already!
Have a good weekend all, nice and sunny here today after a very wet night.
Hiya all , sorry Ive been absent, just sooo busy! Work, partying and sort of getting my life back, its scary as bit nervous bout enjoying self just in case. Gyni signed me off and oncologist but off for breast check up on monday and to see about my arm, think got lymphodema, just dont want a blasted sleeve. Mamogram next week as its coming up to the year mark as found it on my birthday last year, its defo a similar time for all of us I think. Well hoping to have 6 mths to do things then have recon. Would really love to get my teeth sorted but not sure what can be done, had braces for years when younger and teeth were fine, now the two front ones have parted and large gap and one turns slghtly, makes me paranoid but never had guts to do anything about it - no idea what but might try and find out.
Hope everyone okay.
Angie - hope your Nana okay and that you are eating enough!
Nicky - really pleased about your hair
Lily - any mrore wedding plans? Get that holiday booked!
Lorraine - so sorry about the job - hope you feel better soon.
Better go, having another weight watchers glass of wine! Healthy ish eating!!!
well my Victor is still flat on his back and at my mercy!!! LOL. I did enquire how he felt about being the patient for a change and he said huh, not impressed at all. He then let slip that he had thought lying in bed looked better than it was in reality. He has got up a few times today so I hope things are improving so I can have a rest next week! I am madly trying to write a section for the final year of my Masters and keep losing my thread due to interruptions, meal and drink breaks, chemo brain and lack of motivation. I might just be wasting my time trying to do it now but don't want to think I failed to finish it just because of Bc. It takes too many things away as it is. I feel like I am the worst one at getting back to work.
I have not dared to try my suits on yet as some were getting a little snug before all this. Might be a good reason to go for a really big shopping expedition next week if I can face buying bigger sizes. I almost booked a summer holiday this week. I was sitting in the travel agents, lost to everything else, as they searched for nice places within my budget (which was taking some time) , when my daughter rang and all the alarm bells went off in my head at the same time- oh s..., I am supposed to be picking tiny terror up in less than 30 minutes and I am miles away. So I had to leap up and run out of the shop and leg it back to the car park. So now I get a reminder phone call from her every day , not to to forget my Grandson. When did I get to this state, how did it happen, is it chemo or early senile decay!!!! My alternative onc, who I don't like seeing, tells me it is due to menopause! What a cheery thought.
It is strange because only today someone mentioned my birthday soon and that I would be 49. I said at any other time I would have been saying ooh no I'll be 50 next year, but you know I don't think I will ever moan about being older again. Even thinking about being 60 or more sounds like good news! Funny how things change so much,
Very old (and I don't care) Lily x
Hi: It's Friday – hooray!
Angie – sorry to hear about your Nan but from what you say she sounds OK. These old birds can be very tough – hope we are the same when we get to her age. Glad you have made the one year anniversary – I discovered my lump about one year ago and had it confirmed on 7 Feb and from there it is history. Can't really believe it is that long ago.
Nicky: Great news about your hair – can't wait to ditch the wig, it is getting itchy and boring now. Must go see hairdresser next week, he will probably give it a trim to encourage growth. Quite like my Sinead O'Connor look (as my office cleaner called it when I showed her the progress!!). Am writing myself some notes for my meeting with the onc today otherwise you tend to only talk about one thing and forget the rest.
Lily: Yes I have got dark patch on chest below what used to be a good looking boob but it is not itchy or sore – yet. Still lathering on the gunk – have just changed to Aloe Vera and using the aqueous as shower gel. Surgery scar seems to be diminishing which my onc said it would with the rads. Still wearing proper underwear - haven't resorted to the baggy look yet!!
Love the story of your work interview – I am afraid that unless you tick all the boxes on your list you are a forgotten commodity in Gordon Brown's gulag. I'm sure you will fit right back in at work and wonder why you were concerned.
Better go, and pretend to do some work.
Hi, (posting attempt number 3 Grrrrrrrrr)
firstly Angie so sorry to hear about your Nan but very pleased to hear she now seems ok and long may that last.You sound really busy, which is good but remember to EAT! Still lots of repairing going on inside our bodies. I still haven't looked your wedding site up yet but intend to, when my memory does what it is supposed to. So what are you up to workwise? Anarchy or saving the world!!!! I dreamt we all travelled from our various ends of the world and surprised you at your wedding. I am sure this was after watching Mamma Mia! When we realised who each other was we all screamed and then you came in and realised who we all were, grinnining like cheshire cats, and started screaming too. It didn't do a lot for the registrar !! Obviously I have weddings on the brain these days.
Nicky - for someone who is fighting to get on the computer, boy you have written a lot. I have enjoyed reading your long posts and why so much worry about your hair? Anyway glad you now find it to your taste and congratulations on rejoining the wig-free population. Can't wait to see the edgy hair, when you visit. I am fair bursting to meet you in person, rather than the virtual Nicky on my sky plus box. I wonder how many times I can play it in one day. I just hope you won't be sick when you see the close up of your hand with the cannula, assuming it is your hand of course. It still has rings on it! Have you got them back on again yet? Mine is still tight at times, probably got a permanent dent underneath it though. Thanks for the tips on Vit E as I have some from when I used it on my operation scars and still put some on occasionally. I will also try to get my bp taken some time to see if the Tamoxifen has affected me. By the way, even if hubby is still home, you are still very welcome.
Lisa - how is the H and Dennis these days? I loved that spell when we were trying out hair replacement ideas, it just kept me chuckling all the way through those weeks. Are the Se of the op slowing down at all?
Julia - gosh you are motoring on through the rads now and hopefully without any problems. I think the trick is to make sure the radiated skin of the underneath of the boob does not touch the skin of the chest. I am still using the cool gel dressings but it is not bothering me at all unless I try to wear a bra. Commando for a bit longer. It is just very brown with big peeling patches now so just got to wait for the skin to recover.I think the squirmy itchy part is worse than the heat of the burn myself as I couldn't scratch it.
Bev are you back and did you have a lovely time?
Lorraine, so sorry you had withdrawal stmptoms from my daily wittering. Two men are keeping me busy!!! Hubby is still in bed so constant dashing up and down stairs with meals, food, phone calls, etc and tiny terror has to be picked up by 1pm and has stayed every evening. Also my lovely forum friend Sharon2 has been hijacked by our local hospital so I went to visit her last night. She is being held captive with egg sandwiches and a yoghurt! How is your back now? I still feel very sorry about you giving your job up and have been trying to think of ideas for something else. What about a library? Or I could send my ironing every week???????????????????????Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hope your son's hand is healing well now too.
I went to the work interview with sleeves rolled up ready for action and was met by a very sweet, very large young lady who started by saying 'do you mind telling me what cancer you have as my Mother died of it' That put an end to anything else and as I was not poor, gay, a single Mother, in debt, unable to pay my mortgage, disabled or missing any major body parts AND HAD A JOB!!!, they were unable to help me any more in finding me a job. So I went home again. Next stop was to tell my boss I plan to descend this month and so I have to go for a meeting next week to discuss what I will be doing. He is keen for me to do very little in the 2 weeks before half-term. We'll see how it goes when I get there. It will be good/scary to go back in after 10 months of no contact at all. Might try to make a dash down the corridor to see my lovely tutor group who I have missed so much.
Must post before the gremlin eats it again
OK so I'm still being tested. Tomorrow's the 1 year anniversary and I feel fine but my Nan's now in hospital. She's been having heart trouble and was having the stress tests when she had a heart attack. She's OK, colour in her cheeks, sitting up, laughing and reading etc and lets be honest, there's no better time than when wired up to monitors but still... gulp. She's 80 this year.
I'm keeping my fingers crossed for her, just agreed with my Mum that we now all avoid hospitals this time of year!
where art though lily? are you enjoying life so much you havnt got time for the pc, hope you ok, thats all that matters.
thanks for the kind messages of support about job, ive accepted it really, cos part of me didnt mind being at home, but i just need some income, so i will try DLA again, though i think you need to be on your last legs to receive it.
been to hosp again today, with son hes now got a new splint on it. wouldnt have been able to take him if i was working, so that was easier.
take care everyone.,x
Went to my hairdresser yesterday only to be told he thought my hair was great and just needed a trim! I knew he'd say that but after a week of getting used to it, 2 daughters and OH saying it looked fine and then 3 hairdressers giving me the thumbs up I'm feeling better about it! I actually had it cut, as in textured, and nearly fainted after seeing it fall off - I've spent so long growing the damn stuff I don't want it gone! Anyway, then braved Guildford on the way back for some retail therapy as I need some different clothes to go with the 'edgier' me - any excuse. Then back to work today with no wig! We are an open plan office on one floor so everyone saw as I walked in, plus I start later than most people so they were all there before me! Anyway, had lots of compliments and had to explain to a few people that, No, I hadn't had a drastic haircut, I had ditched my wig. So I'm now officially de-wigged and enjoying the freedom, if not the cold ears! Now I just have to see friends and family and get them used to the new me.
Lorraine - so sorry about the job but I can see where he's coming from about the lifting. Maybe you can find another job? I know it's difficult but I'm sure there will be something out there. Your info from your onc sounds good in terms of grade etc and I hope there's no further spread. Having said that I have read on here that it can happen and they can switch hormone tablets etc to help. Also I would try for DLA, there's loads of info on here if you do a search but get a MacMillan nurse or someone in the know to help you with it. I applied in Nov and am waiting to hear but got the benefits advisor for MacMillan to fill it in for me as I'd met her on a secondaries event. Even though I feel fine I still have to take time off work for appointments and I don't get paid if I don't work. Plus I felt so bad with all the side effects I couldn't work anyway. You sound like you have a strong case for it and it certainly would help financially.
Julia - hope the rads skin stays calm but watch out for afterwards as Lily found out! Good luck for tomorrow.
Hi to everyone else and hope you are keeping away from any bugs. I'm so glad we didn't have chemo during the winter months as it must add an extra worry.
Angie - meant to have said I hope you can celebrate tomorrow and finally put those 12 months to bed. As you say there will be some other lady having the same type of news as this awful BC gets to so many of us. But - onwards and upwards my dear!
Bye for now take care everyone, have a good weekend if I'm not on here before.
Hi all: Am working today and trying to catch up with you all. Really good to read that we are all moving on to new things – and trying to revert to normal (whatever that is).
Angie – just had a look at the venue – looks lovely, the area is great – stayed in Buxton some years ago and thought it was really beautiful. Can't think why anyone should be offended by your homeopathic remedies – I've always found them fascinating – only problem is getting hold of them. Think your recommendations for bruising sound good – am definitely going to get hold of those – OH slipped off loft ladder beg of last week and fell from second step onto wooden floor. Since he has less fat on him that the proverbial chip (Oh pleeeease) is very sore and bruised. Did say he could have some of my fat if he wanted any!! Your year's project sounds very demanding but as I have found working thru it does give you something else to think about. Unfortunately having been a complete sloth the rest of the time (and put on stone!) have now got to get moving.
Lily – Love the Kato comment – I am going back a bit in catching up! Have you had your back to work meeting yet? And did it go OK? The wedding venue sounds lovely but we are all hoping you are sitting down when the quotation arrives.
Everyday: sorry to hear about the job. As I said above, I think it really helps to have something to move on to. Are you going to search around for something else? In Gordon Brown's recession it may not be easy but best of luck.
Nicky: thanks for the good wishes for Friday – I think one of the difficulties with various drugs is that oncs get stuck into a routine and it is difficult to move to something else, but we will see. Having talked to my sister about the family history, it is worse than I thought. Our mum had two heart attacks – first at 60 – where she technically died and had to be paddled back to life (I hadn't forgotten obviously but have only been asked about cancer history not heart).
Hair is still taking ages to grow – sides and back are OK but top is still thin, am dosing it with Vit E oil and taking the brewer's yeast to give it a boost.
Have no 8 of 15 rads today so have hit the halfway point. No probs yet, been a bit itchy but that is all. Am using the aqueous stuff but think I will change to Aloe Vera as the cream gets into your clothes but the gel seems to sink in more. Will also use the Vit E once it is all over as the oil I have is very gloopy and is fine for rubbing into my head but wouldn't want to do the same to my poor old boob.
Anyway, better to some work – will let you know how the onc meeting goes. Have a good weekend everyone, not sure about the weather, pretty yukky I think but not so cold.
Lots of love