Thanks for continued support and wise words. The offending shadow is in the liver region so I am fully expecting it to be confirmed as anew lesion. It is at this stage not that big but would mean the current treatment is not working now. We will wait and see for confirmation, I had the MRI on Thursday but it’s thefollow up appointment that is annoying me, it is in weeks and weeks time! I have already written to the onc to say this is unacceptable so I will pester for a new date once I know the report is done. Having Easter in between this means the report will be delayed anyway due to the bank holidays. At least I can forget about it until I know! I have already gone through the various options in my head but until the full picture is known I won’t really know what happens next other than the likely event of more chemo booooo. RFA may also be an option depending on where the lesion is etc, we will see.
Is it the wedding this weekend? If it is what beautiful weather. We are having a lovely sunny spell as everyone seems be having but boy oh boy is it playing up with my hay fever. I never used to get it but the last couple of years I have suffered with tree pollen which this year is filling the air! Hence why I am up so early on a Saturday morning, I couldn’t sleep from my blocked nose. I will be at the chemists door as soon as it opens to get a nasal decongestant.
Hope everyone is OK and enjoying the sun, without my nasty allergy, enjoy the long weekend.
Hi Nicky, I just wanted to keep in touch. Do you have a date for the MRI scan yet? Hope they don't keep you hanging around too long as I am sure my mind would be overthinking every possibility. Even though its so disappointing, it may still be considered minor changes, especially if he could not even spot them. Still I am sure it weighs on your mind when you are not busy. Thinking of you buddy and I still believe. Hugs Lily xxx
Hi everyone, ohhh one moment there's nothing on here to read and next thing there is exactly what I don't want to read. S.... I'm not sure from your post what you have been told by the onc and I completely understand the short post because it must have sent you reeling after his initial all ok response. What a bloody rubbish thing to do and on the phone, the b...... If he wasn't sure he should have shut his mouth until he found somebody who could read scans.
On the positive side does that mean its very difficult to see as such a very small change? I hope this is the case Nick as that would make his major error a little more understandable but still so devastating to have another door open. Is it an area of your liver again? How soon can they fit you in for an mri? Any chance of jumping the queue privately or will it be quick anyway on the NHS? I am pleased you managed to get that lovely holiday in and could enjoy it without having that hanging over your head. The family must be devastated too. We will have a plan together when more information is available and we know just what the challenge is. As always right by your side, never on your own, lean on us all if we can help in any way. Until then just try to do all the things you want to do and remember they just don't know why being positive is such an effective weapon, keep believing. Hugs and lots of love Lily xxxx
Sorry I wasn't on here quicker but we have an internet problem in that it keeps crashing and I can't figure out what they do to get it back each time. Then we were away on our usual family holiday together where there was no wifi.MDs wedding next week.x
Hi all, will have a proper catch up tomorrow, my last post seems to have disappeared, trying again on phone so let's see. Anyhow will give you any gossip I have tomorrow which is virtually nothing less you want to listen to me moan about blinking blinking dress for wedding. Nicky, how worrying when you had the news it was stable, let us know as soon as you know, be thinking of. You xxxx Lisa. Love to lily and Carole too xx
Hi Nicky, just to say I am thinking of you and yes you must feel it is a blow after doing so well for quite a long period of time.
Bon courage xxx
A quick update on my last post. It looks like the scan isn’t completely stable ☹️ I had a call, finally from my onc yesterday and I need an MRI to check things out. Will let you know once I know more. As I said to OH yesterday this is not unexpected but it’s certainly unwelcome!
Another one of us being busy and not having time to post. I still find this new layout less user friendly and have generally been posting less on the forum therefore I'm not logging on as often.
However, here goes.
Latest scan results which I got yesterday show I'm still stable - hooray! This seems very close to the last set of results and it is! It took ages to get the last ones done so it was only 2 months ago I actually got those results (a month after the scan itself). However I am aware this is down to a shortage of radiologists/radiographers to interpret the scans not just in our area. As it is my oncologist talked me through the scan itself (it's always on their system within minutes of it being done) but the report itself wasn't available yet. I just hope he didnt miss anything blindingly obvious! He is going to phone me anyway once he has it. So I continue with the current treatment which is far easier to cope with than most of the ones I've had. This is of course 11 years on since my secondary diagnosis - almost to the day as of course I was told about it on April Fools Day!
So between our holiday and now I've just been keeping busy. The holiday, as I said, was fab. A great two weeks visiting places we've never seen with beautiful scenery - bright blue seas, wonderful sunsets etc and really brilliant weather. Lovely and hot but none of the humidity you usually get in Florida. It did take me a while to get over the juet lag but no doubt the thought of getting another scan done just after I got back didnt help!
We had a busy few weeks once we were back, visiting YD at her restaurant in London plus then my birthday and finally son in law's birthday on the same day as Mothers Day. I ended up doing far too much work on Sunday as poor OH was not feeling well (which is unlike him) with suspected food poisoning. I would not have taken on a lunchtime celebration if I'd known I would be cooking and tidying up, hmmmmmmm. Anyway a nice, if busy day. It all calms down a bit now which is nice and looking forward to some better weather - however we did have a frost last night so I'm not sure when it's going to show it's face again. The one thing that is plaguing me this year though is the tree pollen, boy am I suffering. This happened last year and my eyes were quite itchy and sore, plus lots of sneezes of course. This year it's so much worse. I suspect it's because it's been wetter so the trees are all coming out in blossom all at once in one huge burst. I will be off to the chemist later to try to get some non drowsy meds, having not suffered with hayfever other than the last couple of years I'm not sure what's what.
Hope everyone is doing well. Sorry to hear about YD, Carole, it seems there's alot of infections around which arent clearing up quickly. Touching wood that I have missed them so far. Other than OH feeling rough at the weekend we all have managed to avoid them - bound to get something now!
Lily, hope all the family is doing well especially daughter who's cooking the next grandchild! How is Mum? That goes for you as well Carole. My Mum is doing well but I think now noticing the loneliness in the evenings. She does have options which we will explore ie some very good retirement homes nearby but at the moment she is OK living in her own home. It does mean my week is more involved with making sure she is OK as my brothers live further away and work full time. I'm sure this sounds familiar!
Lisa, how are you? Off to Florida soon? I know you normally go around Easter time.
Anyway, must sign off, have to get car into the garage for a minor repair to the door handle which has come loose - how odd!
How are you all? I think it seems we are all pretty busy with getting on with life that we often forget (or don't have time) to post. Anyway, since my last post nothing much has happened here, we've had very good weather for a couple of weeks with beautiful sunny skies. However, it does get nippy in the evenings so have still lighted the wood burner a few times.
I saw my Rhumatologist last week and we've decided there is no point in having another cortisone injection in my back as it didn't work. She again suggested surgery was the best option for my problem. This is just not practical as I would need to have someone home with me for at least 3 months as there are a lot of things I wouldn't be able to do. Also if they fuse the lower back it can lead to less mobility. Then we went on to talk about the pain in my knees (which sometimes cause a collapse) and also the pain I have in my finger joints. I obviously have a joint problem. So she injected hyaluronic acid into one knee, this is designed to improve the cartilage function and encourages more cartilage to grow. It does feel better which surprises me as she said it could take about 3 months before I feel any benefit. I am also being referred to a pain specialist. I've started to take turmeric, well actually it's a paste I made up myself and have frozen little blobs like pills. They say it is brilliant for pain, especially joint/arthritic pain. I'll give anything a go. I'm also taking glucosamine and magnesium.
The 2 pups keep me very busy but hopefully all in the name of losing weight! We opened our swimming pool which is a bit green (this is normal for us), so I have to clean it every day and check chemicals. It is slowly becoming a normal colour.
YD is fighting off sinus infections, chest infections, colds, it seems to be one infection after another, and to top it all she is going to have 4 wisdom teeth out in 3 weeks time during the holidays. I had one out and it was extremely painful so we're expecting her to look like a hamster.
Good luck with applying for the new job Lily. No doubt you're looking forward to the Easter break. Nicky and Lisa hope all is well with you both?
All from me for now, love Carole xx
Hi what are you all up to? I am not getting much chat back. Hope all is well as there are some horrible 2 week colds around. Took me ages to shake mine off and even had to be off work, which I never do. Work is very busy and I've been up until midnight most nights just trying to keep up. Also decided to apply for another job within the same place, change is as good as a rest they say. Not long until our holiday and I really need a rest, well it won't be a rest with all the clan there but it will be great fun and the time I love best. Thinking of you all on mothers day xxxx
Hi everyone, meant to say happy birthday yesterday Nicky, sorry its belated wishes. Did you have a nice day? Hopefully some nice cards and gifts too. Carole the new baby is only halfway cooked, due in the summer but thank you.
Take care all. They say it is about to get warmer, lets hope so although we have been fortunate this year. Lily xxx
I don't seem to have been around for ages, but all is well, it's just that I don't have much news.
Lily congratulations on the 7th grandchild arriving, what wonderful news. Sounds like your hands are busy with wedding arrangements, clothing etc.
Nicky, your holiday sounds lovely, probably just what you needed.
Lisa, you too sound busy with your friends wedding and your M & D anniversary weekend. Hope you manage to shift that lingering cough.
Raining here again today our weather changes so much from day to day, yesterday was beautiful. All from me for now as really no news since last post. Love Carole xx
Hi everyone, how are you Its such a windy day again and branches down everywhere. I bought my first new plants of the year today, much to Victor's horror, who realised he has to start digging holes already. I wish someone had mown the lawn when it was milder but as I never do it, I can't reall complain. It always makes the garden look so nice, newly cut lawns. A lot of plants clearly couldn't cope with the hot weather and don't seem to have survived.
Nicky it sounds such a lovely trip and yes do tell us more as I have Florida in mind one year. How was the weather at this time of year? Did you hire a car for the whole stay? I bet your suitcase is full of little t shirts or toys these days after each holiday as presents for gs. Our number 7 is half way and being small she is showing well already. Apparently we are only having a sister and will not consider the idea of a brother, according to gd. She was here today and had us all organised, telling us what we should do and play, little girls are so bossy 🙂 . She is quite adorable, well they all are of course, no favourites from this nanna. The others will be in tomorrow. Can you believe my original first little chap is now picking GCSE options! Where does the time go? He is doing really well academically but has no idea what he wants to do for a career, so tricky choosing what to take and which to drop. Going to be tall and skinny.
Carole how are you getting on with the new pup now? They usually settle in time but like children, teenage dogs can be tricky and hard wwork. Any holidays planned for this year?
Lisa I hope the bridesmaid dresses work out ok. I am sorry they did not think to check with you. I hope you told the dressmaker as I had an idea they could sew a little pocket/envelope to slide it in and keep it in place? Its a worry others do not think about but very important to you, to feel confident. Especially when you hit the dance floor. My I admire the amount of travel and events you manage to fit in. Lovely plans for your family to celebrate. Well I shook my cold off at last but it was a good 2 weeks as went into my sinuses in the second week and gave me toothache. My teeth felt like they were all rattling and jarring with every step I took for a horrible day before it eased. No way I was going to the scary D place. How are you feeling now?
Better buzz off love Lily xx
Hi all, I've been quiet sorry just very busy but hey aren't we all and keep forgetting to log on so trying it on my phone tonight.
Nicky your holiday sounds lovely I want to know more lol... It takes me a couple weeks to get back to normal so take it easy xxx
Lily poor you bugs are awful this time of year I've passed my cold around and the cough is back seems. To pop back every few months with force grhhh. Well wedding outfits sound fab... I've a bridesmaid dress fitting this weekend and feel sick at the thought as discovered it's got a low back which causes me a few problems with falsies probably flying down the aisle lol. New addition eh I loose count on where you are up to.
Nothing much to report here... Myself and brother have booked for. Us all. To take my parents away at the end of July for 4 nights to S'illot in Spain for their golden wedding, probably have to spill the beans soon though as she's trying to plan things eekk... Its for their golden anniversary at dad's 70th. So much on this year off to tenerife in 2 weeks for 4 nights for hen night yikes.. Well I'm off to batten down the hatches the weather is extreme here tonight...
Well, I’m home! We had a fabulous couple of weeks touring Florida, starting in Miami, going down to The Keys and then back up to the opposite side, the Gulf coast. Very tired at the moment as we got back yesterday morning nd for some reason I didn’t manage to sleep well at all last night, which usually happens the opposite direction! Off for a catch up snooze in a mo but should be back on line generally now.
Hi ladies, hoping you are all keeping busy. We are getting intoi wedding mode now with less than 2 months to go and all the last minute decisions. I bought my dress earlier this year but I needed a few alterations so those are done, shoes picked, bag ready and just hair and jewellery to decide on. We have a family holiday beforehand too so its going to be a very busy but enjoyable month. Did you all have pancakes tonight? I have eaten 2 and feel quite heavy so thank goodness I resisted the 3rd I had enough batter for. Just getting over a bug and felt poorly enough to miss work and I rarely do that. Some things you just can't battle through. Hoping I have not infected the whole house. I am not sure if I told you that we are expecting a new baby in the summer to join the clan, this is from Ed. I really need some good cheer this year as it has been so difficult with mum. We moved her to a residential home a few months ago, when she was fading fast and refusing to eat. It was a good choice as she has rallied but rallied enough to demand she returns home. So my peaceful time of knowing I would not be under pressure is about to end again. I am hoping for the best but trying to prepare for the worst as I fear she will not find living totally alone with care teams poppping in, quite as good as she thinks. Time will tell. How are you all? Lily xx
what fantastic warm weather. I wonder if it will last. I hope so. Lisa I know how it feels when they stop the checks and it feels strange like nobody is keeping an eye on you, I remember that feeling well but it soon passes. In a way when they stop calling you, it makes it go even further to the back of your head. So it may be good for you, after a little while. I think we are on year 11 but they may be counting from a certain point in your treatment, I never know which point though. Sounds like you are as busy as usual and enjoying it all. Carole I bet the dogs are keeping you fit and active. My yd always insists that dogs need long walks and then be allowed to sleep a lot. It certainly keeps her young one from eating the furniture as she has already been through a few leather sofas andgot in a lot of trouble for it.
Nick still got US to look forward to , lucky you. I know what you mean about sales clothes but it was good timing for me to get my wedding outfit at a reduced price. Well it didn't really save money, I just went to more expensive designs. Anyway I am pretty pleased with a dress and jacket combination. The dress as usual needs to be adjusted to petite height but its the only one I really loved, looked good, covered all dodgy areas and looked like motb, so I bought it. Enjoy the quieter spell from hospital and put it out your head if you can.At the very last minute, my appointment has been cancelled and they informed me there are no appointments to replace it with! Not impressed as they are not giving me options to go to other clinics, hospitals either, so just in limbo for now. I was hoping to find out what was in store before I booked a holiday, so that idea is out the window. Have a good week Lily xxxx
Not gone - yet! Can't wait as weather looks fab. Packing nearly organised, just been trying to get a few more beachy type clothes as we intend chillin' out a lot and havent had a holiday to do this in years! Most of our recent holidays have been in Europe (not complaining!) and based around cities where we've done a lot of sight seeing. But this has meant smarter clothes rather than beach ready shorts ha ha. Of course this time of the year is a bit of a challenge to even see the right clothes in the shops as you ahve to fight through the rails of winter sales clothes. But it's a task I feel I've been up to! At least whatever I have bought can hopefully be used later when the summer weather catches up with us in the UK - fingers crossed.
No real news from me other than 'sandwich' duties (although my Mum sweetly gave me a some dollars to treat myself with whilst away in recognition of all the help I've been giving her). A bit of childminding but not too much which is good as I do get exhausted with a full days worth. Only brief hospital visits (one due later today for treatment/injections). All in all a bit of a lull which is nice - but I expect this to all change at some point so I'm enjoying it whilst it lasts.
Hope all of you are doing OK, good to have a quick catch up from all of us - except Lisa Loo La 😉 who is always a busy bee. Enjoy the rest of the week off Lily and lets keep the sun shining wherever we are.
Hi all, it's been a while from me but not for any reason in particular.
Lily sounds like you had a smashing hen night for your daughter, hope the many cocktails did not cause a headache lol?
Nicky you might be off in sunny Miami and Lisa what are you up to? Do you still make the jewellery?
Thankfully for a week we have had super sunny weather, with no frosts surprisingly considering it is only Feb. Still a sunny sky cheers you up no end.
Talking of which I'm just out to take the dogs for a walk. Aero is so big and strong it can be quite a chore, rather than a joy. Still I'm sure he will get better as he is still a puppy, the other female dog is much more calm but when she runs she runs!
Hope everyone is well and all enjoying sun wherever you are xxx
sorry I don't know where the time went! Nicky I am definitely a sandwich carer then, possibly the whole loaf!! I can't believe how much snow landed on you when we got none at all to speak of. Weather can vary so much over a small area. Kids were disappointed of course but it was nice to not have the worry of driving on black ice or snow. Quite a lot of freezing fog this year. Nick you might be enjoying the sun by now, lucky you. I have been away on md's hen do and had a fantastic time, despite being one of the oldest. Just love going away, alll the girls together. I have a lot of great ideas Lisa, if you need any as our chief bm was amazing. Really made every minute count. I have drunk so many cocktails I am swimming so maybe an early night. Went clubbing and my knees are killing. Yes hmmm well that appointment I am not thinking about is coming up soon and I have no questions because I am really very scared of going so figure it will be a last minute cram. At least I don't cry, what a big baby!!"!! Got to dash as online time going fast, take care love Lily xxx
Sorry it's been a while Ive been up to it with other things (mainly being a 'sandwich carer' as I think it's called ha ha) plus a few days out here and there and trying to log on to the new forum. All thungs sent to keep me away from posting!
I'll try to catch up.
Lily, I hope, when you do get your appointment you have a list of questions and the the right answers to them and the op is less intrusive than you are imagining. Let us know hiw it goes and what is decided. How is Mum doing? In terms of recovery as well as hoping she is aware of how much you are helping her.
Carole, has the bird feeder netting come through yet? Urgh. I'm hoping youre not checking all the time but I expect you'll need to to make sure all is OK. Love the photos of the 2 pooches.
Lisa, good catch up from you, again with lots of planning to do for weddings and family celebrstions - what a busy girl you are (as always). Hope you are enjoying all of it, something(s) to look forward to.
Well, yet again we had severe snow and Basingstoke was gridlocked, abandoned cars, blocked motorway, snowy then icy roads - just the same as a few years ago. OH and I ended up do a few walks out on Saturday to get provisions! All very lovely and pretty but quite exhausting by the end of the day. The clearing pur driveway on Sunday ready for OH to be able to get out and drive to work on Monday. I had GS all day Monday (adding to the exhaustion) and also overnight last night and this morning - making it a very busy week with little time in the middle to do things I actually needed to do.
Never mind, as you've all said, I've got something to look forward to which bith OH and I need. He is very involved with lots of financial details with his work at the moment but is adamant we are going away still. He may have to take a few calls and reply to a few emails but he will then be claiming those days as non holidays. Funnily enough no one else at a senior level seems to get their holidays interrupted so much, hmmmm.
So we are now back to wet weather and very windy at the moment. Quite a few trees, or large branches of trees, were broken by the weight of the snow and with the strong winds a few more have suffered so its a bit precarious on some of our country lanes. Keeping safe!
Take care, have a good weekend whatever the weather or whatever your plans are.
Hi all, thought ide better text before I fall to sleep. Carole baby snaps and dog snaps are gorge.
not been snowed in here but cold and had an experience on black ice... hate icy roads but all fine.
whens the appointment lily 😞
nicky, wow now I'm jeleous, blue seas and warm sun how lovely and well deserved.
Not much to report here, no diet just food, my friends got me sorting her hen night and making all wedding invitations so shattered and still loads to go then onto ideas for mam and dad's golden wedding and 70th birthdays elks busy year. Well I've my annual check up but in April as pushed back last year for hols, my dad seen the doctor I see and who done my first operation at work and he hasn't seen me last two years as stand in, asked how he was and said he remembers it's my 10 year mark and prob won't be seeing me again. One that freaked me a little, two how lovely and omg how does he remember that, although I was probably the patient from hell, although he does stop for a chat in Morrisons whenever I see him, usually after I've visited the wine aisle 🙈🙈.
take care catch up more this week, no apologies for typing, just no time to fix lol. Ps hate new look too lol
Morning all, Nicky what brilliant news I loved Miami but it was many years ago we went. Have a super time. I know what you mean about looking after the grandchildren ( and we only have 1 toddler, unlike Lily who has a few). I found our GD quite hard work the short time I saw her but of course Baby GD is too small to require much at the moment.
Glad you've seen the Dr Lily, things might not be as bad as you think so best to wait until you see the specialist.
Lisa always the busy bee! How is your diet going? Im not pleased to say that I still haven't lost what I put on after the steroid. But my dr assures me it can take months?????
The doggies keep me busy, today the weather is very cold and frosty but at least we have a blue sky. Something we've not had for weeks. Yesterday Aero found a bird fat ball that had dropped off the hanger, yum yum, he ate the whole lot even the green sac. I expected him to have a bad tummy but he hasn't, although he has toileted several times I'm still waiting for the green sac to emerge
Hi buddies, lucky you Nick, sounds just the right sort of treat, especially in this cold weather. We have been spared so far, just a bit of snow that didn't settle and a frosty car. Mind you we have another weather warning for later this week, so fingers crossed for a day off work. The site goes staright to the last post for me but I'm on a pc which might make a difference. Have a lovely and well deserved holiday.
Lisa are you snowed in? I seem to remember you can get cut off quite easily as you rely on a small bridge to get across the river. Hope you are managing ok. Carole are you feeling the cold snap?
Well I did as I was told and went to the gp and been referred and the appointment came back much too quick for my liking! So will find out in a few weeks. Not going to think about it until nearer the time, so head back in the sand to make sure I don't start worrying!!! love Lily xxx
Not liking the new layout, but we always say that! Having said that though I think the white space is way to much and yet again we get sent to a page of our thread that is years old - and there’s no page numbers now at the top, you have to scroll to the bottom to go to Page 1 - grrrrrrr. Rant over,for now.
Congrats Carole and lucky you to be able to get to visit the new little miss so quickly. Wow,Mum will have her work cut out with that small age gap. Hope she is recovering well and at least has some extra knowledge this time around which is not there for first time Mums. A be,aged Happy Birthday and anniversary as well from me, did you do anything special or was seeing a baby granddaughter special enough 😊 Sorry I have just re-read your post and realised you went out for lunch. I hope it was a good one.
Lily, hope you don’t have to have surgery but can deal with the situation in a different way, whatever that might be - I don’t have a clue! Hope your Mum has also recovered enough to stop hallucinating and treating you a bit nicer. I didn’t know this until recently but it’s a common side effect of a urine infection in older women that they go a bit doo-lally until it gets sorted. It made sense once I was told as I’ve heard about it in several older ladies so it didn’t seem like coincidence.
Lisa, how are you? Busy, busy I expect but update us when you can.
Well, after my good news of my scan results we are going on holiday, hooray. We had booked everything a while ago but knew we could change our plans and cancel it all if we had to. So we’re off for a couple of weeks to Miami and the keys. Somewhere we have wanted to visit for a few years now and had to cancel our original trip 2 years ago when I had to go onto chemo (again), so we’re both super excited that we’re getting to go there at last. Can’t wait, and we’ll get some sun which is an added bonus. Other than that I’ve been on Glam-ma duty last week, which is quite exhausting as he is on the go all the time. Luckily not too much of that this coming couple of weeks, just enough to see the little lovely but not so much as to wear me out - I hope. As to other babies on their horizon they both emphatically say no so we’re not expecting the potter patter of tiny feet any time soon, unless they get a puppy of course!
Anyway must dash now and get on with some things, just thought I’d try and get to grips with this new format. As it is the new screen layouts are not working on my pc so I’m having to use my iPad,which is fine but it’s only got a small screen so trying to move around and see everything is rather annoying (mainly due to all the white space which takes up too much of the screen)
Hi everyone, another change to the site! Well at least they didn't lose us all this time. Carole happy birthday and happy anniversary. Did you go out? Lily xx
Hi, lovely news aaah congratulations Carole. A sweet name. Hope mum and baby are doing well. Was she on time and how much did she weigh? I bet you can't wait to get over here to see them. Bear in mind our temperature just shot down to zero this morning and wrap up warm. Snow expected in some areas but unlikely down south apartr from a flurry if you look out at the ruight moment. Have a lovely few days love Lily xx
Hi everyone. Nick that is the bloody best news I have heard for ages. Fantastic, well done, well deserved and I am so pleased for you. I know the jinx thing and I am like it myself as my witch powers only work for others. God bless whoever discovered fulvestrant too. You took such a big leap of faith with the heart op and liver surgery and really deserved this.
Mum has been halucinating and has a big water infection, so with a bit of luck there is a reason for all of these weeks and she will improve. I keep telling myself this! I got referred to the hospital too, so no need to nag any more. I was good. Forced to see a different dr by a bad mouthed receptionist in a bad mood 'don't we all!! she said to me, when I asked nicely if I could see the same dr as asked to think about treatments. Or I could wait until mid Feb!! This doc seems to think might not be surgery but as I declined another hands on, she didn't have a lot to go on. Fab news Nick love Lily xxxx
Sorry for the lack of communication from me, waiting for results can be a bit of a *ugger at times! Although I wasnt stressing (too much!) its still there in the background and you don't want to say anything either positive or negative. Anyway the results are in, and we can reveal (drum roll) that I'm still stable - hooray. No liver mets are visible on the CT so the op and recovery from the op last year have all been worth it. Buys me a bit more time, which is always a plus. I'm staying on fulvestrant which is by far the easiest treatment I've had even though it means a double injection - one in each buttock - every 4 weeks. So a big sigh of relief and carry on carrying on as us secondary ladies say.
Onto your posts. Lily, it doesnt sound surprising that your Mum is reacting this way after how you have described her behaviour over the years. What a shame she can't see all the hard work you do for her and stop thinking of herself so much. She will really notice all you do when (if) you have your op and literally can't get to her for a few weeks. Maybe it's better she gets on with it all now! It's so sad she is like this, I'm assuming this wasn't always the case and was after your Dad died? I think you do need to stick to your guns though and although you don't want to 'burden' your daughters I'm sure they will all be more than willing to listen and help you if you don't feel you want to share with your Mum. Poor you.
Carole, as always January is such a difficult month. Not much going on and normally very dull weather. I'm trying to get out more for walks, which took a bit of a backseat at the end of last year after my Dad died as I was always off to see my Mum and didn't have time for myself - which is important for all of us to do. We've so far managed 2 pretty good walks, not too long as I realise I can't keep going without a break in the middle to rest my weary legs and hips. Maybe force yourself to get out each day, although you probably do this already with the dogs. Hope Mr P is back soon so you are not too lonely. God only knows what Brexit will bring but I can understand your anxiety and the uncertainty of it all. If only there could have been more give and take when negiotations were taking place as it will affect EU nationals living here as well as UK nationals living abroad, all of whom would like to know what's going to happen.
Lisa, how are you? Busy, busy since going back to work I expect. I hope you find an eating plan that works for you, that you can continue with whilst you are on your many holidays and nights out ha ha. They're the difficult times arent they. At home you can just buy what you should be eating and not have any tempting things in the house. Outside its a whole new world!
Enough from me. Happy January, I'm smiling at least
Hello, hope you had a nice weekend.Carole after seeing Greece and even Algeria with snow, I think damp and cold might be the best you can hope for. So many avalanche warnings for skiers, it looks a dangerous time to visit some parts. Its not particularly cold here for January. In fact I haven't even looked for a scarf (sorry Lisa, you might be a touch colder) yet. Some nippy mornings thta's all so far. Plenty of time yet of course. Yes it must be a worry about Brexit. I have had several people tell me they are taking up citizenship where they live, so I think a lot of people have concerns. The unknown is often more worrying than when you actually know what you are dealing with. That links with how I am feeling about this new condition so I will be going to the dr. I have had quite a lot of stabs and odd feelings to make me feel that I could have an emergency. That's probably a little dramatic but I think my slight chest infection with a deep cough has not done me any favours. I had a temperature for a few days and felt under the weather and woke up ticking like a little watch being wound up, but seems to be almost over today. I have a small nag about my knowledge that our treatments increase risk of other conditions so ought to get it checked. probably be a long wait anyway but hoping to be reassured before planning a holiday. My current hope is that its minor and easily fixed, just needing me to be brave and go. So I will. Carol your description of the less she does, the worse she gets accurately describes my situation. I ahve had to grow a thicker skin or I would be crying after most visits. I hate to worry my girls, so mum would be the person I go to for a little tlc and to boost me to do things. Not easy when theperson closes their eyes so they don't have to see you and hangs up on you. Or the new thiung, not answering at all leaving me worried. I did nothing and didn't go over. Later got a call from one of my girls who she had told she had really wanted to see me but I didn't go. Its a game I'm not willing to play. Today she demanded I went over and did everything because she'd told the carer to pack and leave. I said I can't come, bang went the phone. Carer didn't know anything about it when I rang her but they had a small row about trying to get to the commode safely. She also told me today she could no longer ring anyone and pretended she could not open her inhaler (which she did not need). Craol I obviously need you to sort mine out too. Do you think they are related??? You are spot on with your observations, sadly for both of us. Nicky hope your mum continues to make more effort than ours are. Have you managed to keep away from the nasty colds that are around? With a toddler around, you often come in contact with more bugs. Have you news of your scan, that is one thing that has been on my mind. Please let me know when you can, fingers crossed as always for continuing stability.
Lisa how are you feeling now? Have youshaken off your cold yet? Mine has no runny nosejuyst lower in the throat. I need some encouragement on diet so tell me your triumphs to inspire me to start. You always do so well over the first month and I think maybe realising and planning for that slower progress in month 2 might help you get to where you want. Good luck. BTW Carol latest news apparently is that its healthy to have a high carb diet with lots of fibre. They just keep changing theri mind don't they. Love Lily xx
Morning, it's damp, cold and very grey here. What is it like for you? I really hate these type of days so roll on some sunshine. Nothing much new this side of the water, except my Brexit worries continue as it's impossible to get an appointment with our prefecture (like council office), I am not alone as I belong to a group who discuss their issues.
Lily sorry that your mum is causing problems, I think it's power for the course unfortunately. We found with our Mum that the less she actually did and had everyone doing everything for her, the less she wanted to do so in the end became completely dependent on others (or lazy!). Even simple things like changing channels on her TV "she couldn't work it out" so gave up until someone did it for her. We had, and still have, a problem with knowing what was true or untrue and made up for the hell of it to cause us more distress. This hasn't changed even in her nursing home. Is your Mum eating ok? This is still a big problem with our Mum, she complains nothing is cooked how she likes it so won't eat. She seems to have no hunger - but I think this is often a problem linked to dementia. Hope it gets better for your peace of mind.
Lisa sounds like you've been hit by a winter virus, I always found breathing steamy water quite good, especially with some tiger balm or vicks in the water. I decided to do low carb as I've heard a lot of good things about it. The idea is that you eat very few carbs but more meat, protein and fat. The fat and protein is meant to keep hunger away and fill you up longer. I've actually gained a kilo in the last week so it is obviously not working for me.
Nicky how are you doing, any news yet on results?
Well that is it for now, keep warm and bug free XXXXX
Hi everyone, sounds like we all enjoyed Christmas and the New Year celebrations. Craol you have reminded me about my need to see Barcelona, it looks incredible. The GP sounds so glam and I am surprised as I've asked Victor loads of times about going but he says he doesn't want to, otherwise I might have seen you there one day. I think he's just lazy about the effort to arrange it. You know I always have to get a plan to get him on holiday. No doubt he will be using my problem as a reason to not do anything, so this camel might need to het her head out the sand, to save future holidays!!! Carol my daughter uses a lot of people for her animals and when you find a good one its such a relief to be able to relax when away.
Nicky please let me know when you get your latest results, you know I like to keep up with you. I will have fingers crossed as always but I think you probably have a good idea from how you feel. Such a lovely peaceful spell for you, long may it last. Your visits over the festive season sounded lovely and I will get to see the LOndon fireworks one day but I gather its incredibly busy if you want to be in a prime spot. We also have a lack of trains after about 11pm so rubbish to come back after an event.
Lisa, sorry you have a bug and hope it passes soon, take multi vitamins and anything else that helps you get through. I did laugh when you said you were cutting back and then listed a line of events. Ha ha don't ever change! Mum is back now and causing me a lot of grief as she thinks she is lady muck, just lying down and doing absolutely nothing to help herself or get her independence back. Im worn out from trying to talk her round as she is as stubborn as a mule, so it will be her own fault if she gives up a lovely independent house and life for a wheelchair and nappies. So frustrating as she can walk a little and needs to build up gradually. Her carer is nice but just turns the heating up to maximum (seriously over 30 C and the electric heaters on too) and lies on her bed on her phone grrrrr. No idea which one I need to get tough with, seeing as mum can be a master manipulator at times and no idea what the truth is. I had a good talk to both of them and had to do exactly the same, next day after.Sending my straight talking brother in to sort them out.
Well better buzz off as struggling to get up early in the morning after a long holiday. Are you the same LIsa? Love Lily xxx
Hi all, hope everyone has had a nice weekend xx
ive been hit with sinusnpain and a saw dust throat and large glands, worst of it is I'm sooo tired, never been so tired so glad it was a quick 2 day working week, back to full on tomorrow and Lily it might be your first day back 😕. I've not much planned this year as have some money issues so need to stop enjoying myself until I get sorted, that's single house owner life for you lol. End March 4 nights for friends hen party in Tenerife, can't say no as I'm maid of honour but I did manange to get it for under £200 and it's Easter hols so good hunting , then Florida in May Day after friends wedding. Then big save up for parents golden wedding and 70th birthdays ....
Carole, how come you are on low carb diet? I struggle without carbs i get headaches whenever I try xx
Lily, glad you've told family and feel free to express your fears here, it's hard when been op free for so long and a choice thing (in a way).
Nicky, your New Year's Eve sound perfect, how lovely. Well fingers crossed for results and look forward to hearing your holiday plans 👍👍.
well watched dancing on ice so off for a cuppa before bed, no wine for me, gained 10lb in 3 weeks as been away and Xmas and went to town, so liver and guts getting a wee rest and hopefully can reverse any damage or this bridesmaid dress is going to be let out, seen as I ordered a size smaller in my madjesty 😤😤
Hi and HAPPY NEW YEAR dear Buddies and thank you all for being here for me in 2018, long may our thread continue.
We had a very quiet, but lovely Christmas Day, Mr P, YD and myself plus the 2 pups. We had video chats with the children in UK, and grandchildren (has to make do). Then a very quiet NY, none of us was awake at French midnight. The fireworks looked amazing and watched via TV.
Yesterday was Aero's first birthday, he didn't have a party lol but was wished a nice day and both pups had a special dinner!
YD flew to Paris early yesterday morning from Toulouse, which is why we were all in bed before midnight. I was a bit worried about her going to Paris as there have been lots of demonstrations recently, however, she got there ok and is staying with a friend on the outskirts. Then back here for the weekend before going back to work next Monday. She was on ABs over Christmas for having bronchitis. The joys of working with young children she seems to have been hit by lots of germs, and headlice
Nicky your NY and Christmas sounded lovely, especially for you seeing GS and how lovely to be there to see the fireworks, well some of them at least. Yes you're right, Brexit is a worry although France's interior Minister has said Brits will keep their rights they have a present, as long as it's the same for French expats in UK. We do have to apply for a card, like a residents card and these are dealt with by each department's "council" equivalent. The problem we have is our department is not giving out appointments. I'm adopting a wait and see attitude as I'm sure after Brexit - deal or no deal - things will become clearer. I wish you good results when you get them, you are amazing and keep active so I'm sure your scans will be good.
Lily thank you for putting yourself first for a change. Don't be scared about the operation and don't worry about them poking around with your bits, you'll be asleep so won't know ha ha. I think a live in carer for your Mum is a good idea, at least for a few weeks and perhaps it's a good idea when you have your op too. Not for you but your Mum, so whilst you are recovering you know your Mum is being cared for? What do you think about Nicky's suggestion of a care home?
Lisa how are you now has your cough gone? I saw that you've over indulged and I am sure you haven't gained as much weight as you think. I'm getting bored with my low carb diet, some of it is good like eating lots of veg but I can't find a good low carb alternative to bread. I've tried the minute muffins but without sugar they're not great. I tried low carb pancakes the other day, YUK.
I joined a pet sitting/house sitting site because we need someone in May when we go to the Barcelona GP. I made a request on saturday lunchtime and by saturday evening I had already had 3 requests. Today I video chatted with someone, it's such a difficult decision though to pick the right person for 2 energetic dogs that even WE find a bit tough to manage at times.
Apart from that, no other news really, it's just too quiet here at the moment Love to all Carole x
A Happy New Year from me as well, may it be a good one for us all.
We spent out NYE in London staying at a hotel overnight and having an early sitting for a meal in a nice restaurant. We then walked back to our hotel near Tower Bridge and sat in the rooftop bar enjoying the view before walking down to the river to see the fireworks. We didn’t have a full on view as we were a distance away but saw all the ones that went up above the London Eye, just missed out on the lower ones actually on the river. Then a short walk back for a nightcap before bed. A lovely evening, not stress or too tiring with another couple that we went with. Back home just after lunchtime to see the family which was good before YD headed buck the way we had just come from, London, ready to start back at work today, like everyone else. After a very busy and tiring Christmas I have enjoyed the last few days much more which has been great. Part of that is that my Mum has been spending some time at one of my brother’s, including for NYE, so I’ve had no pressure or need to be visiting which has been nice - the first time I’ve had a ‘week off’ since my Dad died in early October! As to scans, my results appointment has been delayed for a couple of weeks and I can’t be bothered to chase them up (they might not even have been ready in time, well, the report, the scans are always uploaded immediately) so I’m waiting another week or so. After that we will see what is said and plan some holidays around what my next few months of treatment will be. If I continue on fulvestrant that will be easier in all ways, but chemo would scupper a few ideas, so we will see.
Lily, a big decision, and op, to contemplate but as we, and your family, have said you do need to put yourself first. If Mum struggles to be put second well, it sounds like she will have to get used to the idea. I can imagine thoug that it won’t go down well! Maybe, if funds permit, the carer becomes a permanent feature! Sounds like a good plan though to have someone there initially once she’s back home. Btw has she ever considered a retirement home ie not a nursing home but staff on duty to help? Or is she as adamant that she wants to live in her own place despite the stress this causes the family - as is the case with my in laws? Hope some type of compromise can be found.
Lisa, I hope you’ve enjoyed all the time off work and managed to see family and friends. Hoping the new year is good to you and work settles down after the changes of last year.
Carole, hope you all had a good time and that YD and Mr P we’re back for the festive period. I expect you are anxious about Brexit, as you’ve mentioned before, and it must be increasingly worrying when nothing has been decided yet as it could affect you a lot more than it will us.
Anyway must sign off but we will all be here to support each other what ever upheavals happen.
Happy new year buddies, happy new year everyone. Hoping it will be a good one for everyone. I was quite happy for it to stay on 2018 as I had mentally decided to delay my decision until the new year. However, having told the family I am now under pressure to think of myself rather than worrying how everyone else will cope if I am not there to run around. It makes sense of course but neatly overlooks my fear factor. I didn't tell anyone until after Christmas and then got everyone trying to make me sit dowm, sending flower, etc, all the lovely fuss I was trying not to let them do, of course, even though I am lucky to have such care,I know this. Victor has forgottem all about it, so only the girls are on the case. Mum is due home any day. which is going to turn my life upside down again. So we are employing a live in carer for a few weeks to take the pressure of all of us as well as giving mum a slave and the comfort of someone nearby should she need help. Not sure which will be most important until she gets there. Today she refused to talk to me because she could not hold the phone! So I am not driving to the hospital, just staying here making plans. When she's well enough she is going to have a good talking to or our relationship will not stay how it has mostly been. Its been a nice day with lots of visitors as usual at the family restaurant. So lots of leftovers for tomorrow before think about eating sensibly. Thanks for reminding me Lisa. Good luck to you with that as well. Glad to hear you have been fussed by everyone, deifnitely deserve it. Have a rest before you start another busy year of hols and days out,no doubt. You do so many lovely things, makes me green with envy.
Nicky hope you had a lovely Christmas and new year with your little gs and hopefully more to come along some time. I think you often wait to get scan results, so fingers crossed things are all going well for you still and long may that last. Will you be planning any holidays soon? I don't know what to plan for this year, as seems likely I will have to go in booooooooo. Carole how was your festive break? Did Mr P and your daughter get back home for some of the days? Hoping you ahd lots of calls too or facetime to enjoy.
Well hugs and best wishes for the coming year love Lily xxxxxxx
Hi all, happy new year. Here's to a positive and healthy 2019. Back off to the sofa to nibble and drink wine before detox and diet on Friday 😀. Hope you've all been spoilt rotten, I know I have xx
Hi, hope you all had a lovely Christmas with time or calls from the family and some nice presents too. I have been pretty busy with the house full for both days and they all staye dfor the entire day, so a lot of food and drink to cook and serve. I have to say peeling potatoes was the very worst part. I managed to do that before they arrived each day, so my own fault for being up early and organised. Today I also visited mum, which was tricky leaving Victor to hold the fort. He was very pleased with himself that nothing went wrong and he amazizngly manage to empty the dishwasher, lay the table and hoover too while I was gone. Maybe he shouldn't have let me know he is capable of doing all this ha ha. He has been looking after me as he knows how bad visits upset me and had lovely flowers delivered too. So he is in the good books. I might not be in the good books as he surprised me with a watch and I am not keen on it at all. You have them for so many years, I had to be honest, its too heavy for me and I will catch it on clothes as its bulkier than I usually have. Mum actually came out with the new problem infront of people today but I think I got away with it as she was not very clear and waffled a lot until she caught sight of me shhhshing her. I would never have got away with it if the girls were there, that's for sure. My visitor returns tomorrow so the cooking extravaganza continues for a bit longer. I had a very busy but lovely 2 days, hope yours were nice too. Love Lily xxxxxxxxx
A very Merry Christmas to all of you. This will probably be the only time in the next few days I get a chance to log on. Hope you all have a lovely time with family and enjoy yourselves. 😊🎅🏻🎄
Did anyone else have a problem last week trying to find our last page? It kept taking me to page 1 which was the start of this thread.
Anyway, I just want to wish you all a very Merry Christmas, enjoy the festive time with family and friends and don't worry about over doing it. It's Christmas after all.
Love to all Carole xxx
Hi everyone, I don't know where the days have gone to, its been so busy. I got way behind with pressie buying because I lost the usual weekend time visiting mum, who was transferred almost to the next county??? So a 45 min plus journey each way, depending on traffic and what time you leave. I have been very selfish and have just said I don't feel up to the drive so only go when somebody drives me. Even then my greeting is just , there's washing there for you, you know a hello or smile might be nice one of these days. My brother said she was asking why you haven't been and then he told her about my problem. Argggh I told him very specifically not to tell her as I want to decide when I tell the family and definitely not before Christmas. Now I will visit over Christmas with the girls and have to hope she doesn't mention it!!! If she does it will be even worse as they will all hear right on Christmas. It was my decision and I am annoyed. I have had an exercise programme and it has helped already, so not feeling under pressure to make a decision right this minute. Carole thanks I know what you mean about getting it over with but its not really a problem so it makes me dither. I also met 2 people straight after who randomly told me about their keyhole surgery going wrong, one of whom needs a catheter for life, the other was in intensive care as they cut her bowel open accidentally!! Not very good stories to hear soon after the news. Thanks too Lisa, you are so right, the longer it goes between medical things, the worse I am, when really I should be thankful of the gap in time I have been given. I like being busy so I don't remember about it. It is filed in myhhead as not being this year!
Nicky yes you might need to be Dr Nicky on this one ha ha. I don't feel emotional any more just very scared of the actual surgery and very anxious about having people poking about and staring at my parts! I think I would definitely tell the family if it was a dodgy op but this is like a knee replacement, maintenance of old parts of the body, aged prematurely by pregnancies and side effects of chemo and other treatments. Two of them seem anxious about me already from the stress with mum. I liked your story about having lists Nicky. Do you know they are supposed to be a type of therapy. I know 2 people who were struggling generally with life and both were told to have lists of things they wanted to do and had to do. They were told to keep adding things on the end as they occurred or thought of things they would like to do/see and never get to the end of the list. Have you got all your wrapping done yet? I am nowhere near finished wrapping but all bought and delivered now. Post has been difficult here. I have bought far too much too. I was definitely one of the nuts ones. Your gs must be growing so fast and its lovely to see as they look so well but I know what you mean about the weight if they want picking up, especially if they aren't very good at clinging on like a koala to help you. So lovely for you to get all this time with him on your own. I love having mine. How did your latest scan go? Have you heard results or will you wait to hear in the new year? Fingers crossed as always xx . Number 7 is coming along and I think she is waiting for the scan before going public with her lovely news, just in case. Will be thinking of you all at Christmastime and hope you have some lovely hours with the family. Nick will especially think o you this first Christmas without dad as you feel it more at these times. Hope mum is still holding up well. Hugs to all love Lily xxx
Hi all, I'm so sorry I've not been around just been so busy with work and tired 24/7 house a bomb site and there's only me.
Lily, how are you doing? Please don't bottle it up. Not sure exactly what op you mean but I know when I had to have my ovaries out I blinking sobbed just agreeing to it. Also because not had to have operation for a long time even more upsetting. Hope you manage to have a nice Xmas and remember parents always give the harder time to the one they know can take it more and do more xxx
carole, hope you are feeling better too, how's the weather looking for Xmas over there?
nicky, omg so wished I hadn't logged on tonight, now I have my nightmare song in my head for bed... it's a small small world la la la la la..... I still subject myself to it. I've never been to the Paris one or at Xmas so would love to see if and I bet you had a magical time seeing little faces light up.
well, I'm off to bed and final wrapping and deliveries tomorrow and housework, then Xmas eve with kids for pizza and Mary popping and our local old fashioned cinema rather than the large multiplex in next town, supporting local xxx
night all x
I hope you are getting your head around the fact that you will need to have an op and that it is the best thing for you to do. Obviously this is going to affect you emotionally as well as physically so take your time. If you feel you need to tell your girls, so you are not bottling it all up over a stressful time like Christmas you should. A problem shared nd all that. However if you’d rather not then that is your choice as well. I know my girls always want me to tell them everything and over the years have hated it when I’ve not shared. Also, if you’re like me you will be writing list after list after list to empty all those thoughts in your head! I have small daily lists at the moment to try and get some clear space in my head and see a way forward. I find writing things down does empty them out a bit and I find I can sleep better. Not that I have too much to do just loads and loads of wrapping and some last minute bits to get, gift cards etc, plus of course planning all the meals which, as head of the kitchen, is also put down to me! YD will help once she’s back (luckily she has the whole Christmas and NY off this year) but she’s not use at the moment as she’s working until this Saturday evening. It’s not the actual Christmas food, that’s all sorted, it’s thinking about meals leading up to then (when the usually quiet shops go absolutely nuts as everyone is buying for what seems is going to be a nuclear attack!).
So a busy day for me ticking off a few things on my list (well, one of my lists!) after a day of GS sitting both Friday and yesterday. Friday he was a little dreamboy, so cute and not a care in the world, yesterday, not so much! It does exhaust me and because he’s so tall (Dad is 6’ 5”!) he’s the weight and size of a 2-3 year old so is heavy to pick up when he’s at an age he still wants picking up a lot. Absolutely knackered yesterday. Then up early today to get my cuppa and some toast inside me before I have my 4 hours of nothing ahead of my scan later this morning. I so hate the mid morning times I get sometimes as after not eating since your evening meal you then can’t eat before the scan by which time my blood sugar levels have hit the floor! Hence setting the alarm and getting up early (early for me at any rate) to keep hunger at bay. At least it means I have an extra hour or two to get some things done this morning so there is a plus side.
Enough about me, how is everyone doing? All ready for the big day next week? We will have immediate family here, including my Mum but sadly not my Dad ☹️. So we are making it an extra special time for her and she will be staying over for a few nights which they hadn’t usually done as they live fairly close by. Hope all of you are prepared and looking forward to spending time away from work (Lily and Lisa) and with family (all of us)
Take care, and good luck with No7 Lily.
Hi, thanks girls. I can type about it but as soon as I speak my eyes fill up and then I am completely gone whenever somebody is kind, so just decided to try to bottle it up until after Christmas. Yes its gynae Carole but haven't hit the request button to find out quite how much involved. Just told by gp big op. Left to just decide whether to do something now or wait, so I thought enjoy Christmas first before worrying anyone. I dearly wanted to tell my mum but when I got there she was in a beastly mood and shut her eyes so she couldn't see me and then said I better go. My brother went an hour later and laughed that he had a lovely visit. It hurt. It has happened the other way round so not sure why I am the villain after doing some frankly dodgy washing after the ward was shut down with the usual virus. So no visitors allowed in. Gave me time to relax a bit. My insomnia is insane with so much in my head. At least it gives me extra hours to get stuff done, on the bright side. Yes you are all right I should do this and will. When you teach, you have to put the kids futures ahead of yourself too. Family are fab despite not knowing and its very early days but lucky 7 is on the way, all being well. This was the best news/medicine ever. A lot to be thankful for as always. Just keep kicking me up the backside, I need it. Love to all Lily xx
Oh no, poor you Lily. Yet another problem to deal with and one that you know you have to take but will be trying to do your best for you Mum. For what its worth, and all I have had to go through over the past 10 plus years of having secondary BC, you have to put yourself first and unfortunately you have to be selfish. If you don't look after yourself and do the right things for YOU, you will of no help to anyone else. You will have to shift some of the 'carer' responsibility to others who, at this point, may have more time and be in better health to assist. As and when yiou have to have your op you should try to suit your own timescales and 'best' time - although we of course know the NHS isnt able to fit around our own plans or life styles so that may be difficult. I am imagining it will be the usuallong recovery period and you will need to make sure you recover, for your own health and for your girls and grandchildren. Again, and I may sound harsh about this they are your future so you have to be around for them. I have had to make the same choices and maybe not spend as much time as I should have with my parents (especially poignant given my Dad died suddenly) but I have focussed my time around my offspring. Having parents die is the 'normal' order of nature, if I'd neglected myself, which in turn would impact my daughters and their lives I would not like the life I now lead or be in a position to lead it.
Sorry a bit of a lecture but I hope it gives you some support in what will be a difficult time. Bloody cancer - the disease that keeps on giving, hmmmmm.
On a quick but different note I am home from the land of the Mouse - ie Disneyland Paris. 25 years to the day that we went there first for ED's 5th birthday! A busy, tiring, cold and wet (well it is in Northern France for heavens sake!) and expensive trip. But it was lovely to spend time together and see our little grandson have his first taste of the parks (I'm sure there will be many more trips if his Mum has anything to do with it). Although it isnt a good time to go (brrrrrr) it was very magical and completely over-the-top Christmassy. He of course loved 'It's a small world' espcially all the windmills which he has had a fascination with ever since he was about 5 months old and I bought him one and was one of his first words! 'Wer-wer' as he calls them.
Hope everyone ekse is doing OK. Lily, keep on sharing your problems and decisions with us, it is a good place to do it as we all know each other so well after all these years and means we dont have to offload on our immediate family and friends.
Hi everyone, thank you so much for your messages. I am so thrilled she made it through the op and she was so feisty it made me laugh. Now the long haul of trying to keep everything going and also get to the hospital to visit is kicking in and my brother and I are both shattered. Neither of us can even think about what will happen when she gets out of hospital. So it was with some trepidation that I went to the dr myself and was told I have a problem myself. Great. Just what I needed. Its a kick back to having a giant baby and the concrete effects of epirubicine on the insides, so now my organs and bits are all heading south instead of staying where they should be. Everything is collapsing it seems and most likely i will need an op unless I can stand it/get lucky. Most of the treatments are a no no because of the b c as they involve the hormones that are not my friends. The op has quite a lengthy recovery time including not being able to do everything I have to do for mum. I am struggling not to cry about it, so I haven't told anyone yet, just you. No point making everyone in the family feel worse.I couldn't visit mum tonight because I knew I would cry as soon as I saw her and would want to tell her. Then she would get in a state saying what shall I do and then get depressed she can't help. Hopefully it won't feel so bad in the morning. I don't like to leave on a miserable note, so it is with deep sorrow that I tell you I am no longer able to do trampolining. Ha ha. Lily x
Nicky i am pleased your mum is managing so well and hope she continues to do well. Sorry you lost your lovely dad xx
Lily, your poor Mum, and a poor you as you are the main care giver. Breaking a hip at her age is not to be sniffed at and, without causing concern, is a high risk of complications. I can’t remember where I read this, it was many moons ago when OH’s Gran broke her hip, but there’s a particular reason why it is so serious. Sorry if I’m not helping one bit here but just wanted to warn you, although I’m sure you’ll probably already be aware. Extra work and worry for you though wherever she is, whether she’s still in hospital or when she is discharged. Something none of us need. When you have time update us and have a rant if that’s what’s needed.
Carole, yes those new meds can really knock you out! For some reason I tolerate them, and my other heart meds, really well (and I’m on the highest possible doses for all of them!) but I know many people who don’t. Take it easy as I’m sure you will adjust and, if mit, ask about something different to take, it can take a while to get the right heart meds for you without the unnecessary side effects. Bloomin side effects, they have a lot to answer for!
Lisa, how are you my dear? Busy as ever I expect. Let us know how things are - when you have time.
Well, I’m doing Ok at the moment. Mum is doing really well and not so reliant on me, or my brothers, for company which is a huge relief for me as I’m the closest in distance to her so am the one who it’s affected the most (in terms of changes I’ve had to make to my normal life). The funeral was obviously a point of reference (rather than changing anything specifically) but I know Mum was holding back on doing some of her usual things until after it had taken place. She went back to her keep fit class last Friday which she really enjoyed and back to her indoor bowls last night. Both groups are of a similar age to Mum and have proven to be very supportive with lots of messages and offers of help so I’m hoping that she will take up some of these now she has broken the ice by going back to them. For me it is helping a lot as I have been able to get on more with the things I need to do, especially this time of the year when I’m always so busy trying to get all the shopping done and abiding the crowds. I met up with YD in Guildford on Monday as she was down from London visiting some friends so it was nice just to chat and amble along looking at things together which we haven’t done in ages what with her obscene working hours!
We’re all off on our little hols in a few days which sounds like fun. Luckily the riots might have eased off a bit now Carole as I was a bit worried about blockades at the ports. Fingers crossed it’s an easy journey for us, and as easy for the others coming by train.
Have a good weekend (I know it’s a bit early to wish this) and I’ll report back when I’m next o;.