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Husband calls me lazy

7 REPLIES 7
Community Champion

Re: Husband calls me lazy

I hope he bucks his ideas up Pat - so very unfair to talk to you like that .Sounds like you are putting everthing into moving forward and doing all the right things .I think a lot of partners struggle with the whole experience and aftermath of a cancer diagnosis and it can cause huge stress on relationships - so difficult when you really need their support that they are not able to give it because they are going through their own stuff too .Lots of support here from people who understand .x

Member

Re: Husband calls me lazy

Thank you Saskia for the info and advise. If things don't improve I will give one of the nurses a call as you suggest. 

Thanks again.

X

Highlighted
Member

Re: Husband calls me lazy

Many thanks for your reply Jill. Sorry your hubby has also had episodes of not understanding. I agree family, on the whole, don't understand. The thing is I have been keeping upbeat most days, eating well and doing my best so it feels like a huge smack in the mouth. 

Anyway hopefully things will improve soon!

Take care and thanks again.

X

Member

Re: Husband calls me lazy

Thank you for your kind and supportive reply Wonky and sorry to hear you have received similar negativity from your friend.  Life isn't easy.

Take care and thank you 

X

Member

Re: Husband calls me lazy

Dear Pat007,

I am so sorry to read your post and first up, a hug from me. I can empathise as one of my oldest friends took the approach of trying to 'get me moving/back to normal/pull myself together' when I was physically and emotionally very upset and tired. And it hurt my feelings, as she was simply too harsh and impatient.

Cancer has a wide and often strange effect on people and not everyone can handle it terribly well;  we the patients have to, but friends and family - our loved ones -  are not necessarily seeing it in the same way. There is also a section on here called "Supporting Someone With BC".

 

Wonky X

 

 

Community Champion

Re: Husband calls me lazy

Pat - I'm so sorry your husband is behaving like a bleep towards you - you certainly don't deserve it - cancer treatment takes it out of you physically and mentally for quite some time after treatment finishes.My OH has had times where he has been not the most understanding ( slight under exaggeration 😳) too .I think partners /family / friends expect normal service to be resumed as soon as treatment has finished and that's just not the case .Compassion fatigue often  kicks in when you're really  still need support ..Concentrate as much as you can on looking after yourself and getting support from those outside the situation if you can .There is also a Sex and Relationahips private group on the forum if you want to talk more privately about this .Best wishes Jill x

Community Manager

Re: Husband calls me lazy

Hi Pat007,

 

Thank you for posting. It sounds like you're going through a really tough time at the moment. We want you to know that we're here for you. 

 

If you would like to speak to one of our nurses for clinical advice about these complications in your treatment you can call them on 0808 800 6000 (Monday - Friday 9am-4pm and Saturdays from 9am-1pm).

 

Also, if you wanted to, you could call them for emotional support or just to talk things through.

 

Sending you our best wishes,

Saskia

Member

Husband calls me lazy

I had a lumpectomy earlier in the year but the complications have had the biggest effect on my body. I had post op infection, haematoma, severe reaction to radiotherapy causing lymphoedema in b reast with reoccuring cellulitis infections and on one occasion lymphangitis . I am on antibiotics daily for one year. The infections and radiotherapy damage wiped me out and I was very poorly this summer. Thankfully I have improved greatly and doing most household tasks but there are still some days I am tired out and I often go to bed at 8.30pm to try and control my fatigue. This week my husband tells me I am lazy and vile, just what I needed. I have kept upbeat and positive throughout this very difficult year b ut his attitude towards me is a negative imapct I could do without.