@emma6789 - thank you for your kind reply. You are most definitely not pathetic not wanting to look at the scar. Do it in your time and in your way, baby steps. Even though I had a reconstruction mine don’t now match each other so I use a prosthesis or breast form to even things up. Evie xx
HI KitKat, thank you for your comments, they are kind, it does help hearing how others have coped and got through to the other side. Thank you. x
its really hard at first so you are definately not being pathetic..... I had single mastectomy in April 2018 and remember feeling how you are now.....fast forward 3 years and I can honestly say I hardly ever think of it....it’s just my body as it is now ( although that’s not to say everyone feels the same) ..... you have to look very closely to see I even have a scar and I have no puckering of skin....in fact the scar on my opposite side ( had lumpectomy on other side for a new primary cancer in 2020) actually bothers me more. It’s very early days for you...so just take it at your own pace.... no rights or wrongs.
Hi Evie thanks so much for taking the time to reply, you have helped me. I feel so pathetic not being able to face it. I’ll take your advice and one step at a time. I have got a softie which I can now wear under clothes, it’s amazing how much happier it makes me feel when I look in the mirror with it on, even just in my underwear. It’s the scar I’m afraid of, but it’s nice to know it’s not just me and I’ll get used to it. Many thanks xx
@emma6789 - first of all, welcome to the forum. I hope you find help and support, but do ask any questions any time.
I had a mastectomy and reconstruction but am very squeamish so I too didn’t want to look at my scar and changes to my chest. In the end of course I had to, but it was a gradual thing. Like you I tried to keep dressings in place as long as possible, and after that I would shower without looking at my chest and would make sure I was always dressed in front of any mirrors. But very slowly I started to look and am now used to it. It really is an individual thing, there’s no easy fix unfortunately. All I would say is give yourself time to adjust, don’t beat yourself up about not looking or being upset by it. We have gone through a big change, had a big shock diagnosis, and this new chest is a constant reminder. So getting used to it is all part of dealing with the mental side of the diagnosis.
I’m not sure that helps at all, but I just wanted to reassure you that what you are feeling is very normal. Have you got a prosthesis or some other breast form so that you look more even when dressed? I think there are various support groups for those who don’t have reconstruction that you might want to join. Or try searching on the forum - the search box is just above this message, but make sure you search the whole forum not just “this board”.
I’m happy to chat more about this, or anything else. Sending hugs, Evie xx
I had my mastectomy 5 weeks ago, and have had trouble with healing, and still needing regular dressing changes, but the nurse said part had healed now and she could leave the dressing off today. I asked her to put another dressing on, I can’t stand the thought of looking at my ugly scar and empty chest. How do you cope?