What a lazy day i,ve had.. physio went really well and now PJ clad AGAIN!!
I want a medal.. A BIG one ha ha!! After all this time I finally managed to get my brain functioning and upload approx 87 pictures from my camera onto the computer woo hoo!! It only took 2hrs to fathom it out!! Clever old bean eh!
I put one on here of me and my Boy 🙂 though remembered after i,d uploaded it, it was the one that he had a star stuck on his forehead (courtesy of his sister on his leaving night 2 weeks back) its not a fly honestly 🙂
Now the news I,ve been dreading I got a call from him today, they finally found out why they were delayed in going to Afghanistan.. Medical reports and test results!!
He got his certificate of clean health this morning and tests were all clear so is now waiting for his flight as I write OH MY!!
All was good while he was in Dubai spending MY money 🙂 but now i,m back to the I WONT CRY again though I did and have done since getting the news.. it was inevitable but still hit me again, and especially with the bombings today..Bugger bugger bugger!!!! I want peace on earth and goodwill to all men for Xmas 😞
Well my lovelies i,m going for a soak in the bath and an early night is in order, physio was pretty damn rough today with having more range in my knee now so he went for it.. YEEOUCH!!
He still keeps saying my age is a factor in repair.. I will pay him back for that one day.. the tinker 🙂
Massive hugs to you lovely flutterbys
Hi Ami no I havn't forgotten you just got mixed up with names which is no surprise at all I'd forget my head if it was loose
Well Flutterbys going to attempt a short walk to the Post Office to post some xmas cards abroad just hope not too late for them. also need to get stamps for rest of my cards then when I get back it will be back in the P.Js and snuggle blanket love and hugs xxxx
Ha ha ha listen to you all no its me me me that sucks blankets.. has snow.. gone to work! I love you all you make me laugh so much and what a lovely set of Flutterbys you are.... xxx
WORK.... that dreaded word YUK!!!!
I walked onto the ward and within seconds thrown in at the deep end.. nothing new there then!! It was as if I had,nt even been away, which is good in one respect but we have 7 new patients and I didnt even get time to get to know them before I was in the thick of it..
By 8.00pm I was shattered head and knee alike so i,m happy that its physio this afternoon!!!
Ami.. you plonker how on earth could we fall out with you as Em said the good thing here is you CAN dip in and out whenever you want just dont leave it toooo long as we will worry 🙂 and as for snow EEEYUK!Yours should be Post Traumatic Snow Dislike 🙂
I love it especially walking in it with Ben as he goes loopy but I absloutely hate it if i,m on an early and at 6.00 am stood freezing my backside off scraping the damn car!! With living next to the river the car does get a bit of condensation on it and if it freezez or snows its a nightmare trying to clear it and i,m not forunate to have a garage 😞 they didnt build them in 1835 when this house was built! The downside of old street property,s.
Em..Glad work was over and done with early as leaving work last night was soo cold.. we,d had a sleet shower just before I left so the roads were pretty rubbish, I have a 4 mile stretch of open countryside to travel and the road was white as not many people use it at that time of night 😞 I think you are really good agreeing to 3 shifts after xmas and stil having your treatment.. you are made of pretty strong stuff hon so I do hope its not too much for you!
Daniel used to suck his blanket (stopped at 25 ha ha ha!! joke! but dont tell him I said that)He carried it around till he was about 4 and if I tried to wash it all hell let loose!!
Jmr..I envy your blanket days hon I,m quite lucky at the moment as i,m only working 3 short shifts for the next 2 weeks and most of them are lates so i,m not having to get up too early.. but like you I,m awake till the wee hrs and hav,nt been getting up till around 9 myself so god help me when I start doing earlies again EEEK!!
Hope the weather holds off till after your family have been, How nice for you to have them all, it,ll definately lift you 🙂
Sue.. keep up the good work you can do a few rounds for me 🙂 hav,nt got any energy today so i,ll imagine you instead PHEW!!!
Well Flutterbys you all sound really perky and bright so somethings working on here 🙂
Hope it stays that way in the mean time I think PJ's might just stay on and I can see a blanket coming into this day at some point 🙂
Love and hugs all round XXXXXXX((HUGS))XXXXXX Stay warm
Hellooo ami! bless you I am sure no one thinks you're neglecting us, one of the really nice things with the flutterbys is we are able to post when we want or need to.Doz is on a late one love her! I got mine out of the way early and finished at 1, only do two a week till after xmas then three believe it or not I am knacked doing that! Ugh! Nope don't suck the corner but sat in my cocoon as I write! Gonna ask my son to lend me his Wii and give it a go, well off now lovely you are back online BIG group hug Em xxxxx
p.s cold here but no snow!
hi Emmy poor you getting snow hope we don't get any yet as my daughter is coming down from Scotland at the weekend and haven't seen my grandchildren for 7 weeks so desperate to see them
Hope your first day wasn't too bad Doz and you aren't too tired make sure you get to bed early and recharge those batteries.
As far as getting up at 7.30 Sue I amm just settling down again got up at 9 today but there again its usually about 2 before I get to sleep
haven't sucked corner of blanket yet ha ha just all snuggled up and sooooo cosy hugs to you all xx
Hi everyone, I haven’t gone AWOL!
Talk about Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Emmy, I think I have Post Traumatic Computer Disorder. I’ve tried to post over the weekend but all I could get was a blank white page on this website! My OH says you’ll all have fallen out with me due to neglect! The weather here has been horrible today, snowy & dark. It seems I’ve only just opened the curtains before I’m closing them again., the days are so short. I do tend to get up later and go to bed later which brings me to Sue…..
I think I would have to force myself out of the door at 7.30. I must say, you have real dedication! About the Wii . I don’t usually enjoy exercise and when I get the urge to do it, could easily lay down until the feeling wears off, but I’ve found the Wii great. It’s interesting, interactive and you get to beat your own record and count how many calories you burn, a positive for me. I lost a stone using it. Now I’ve just got to get back on there and do it again.
Aw, so sorry that you ended up in A & E and getting home at that unearthly hour must have really taken it out of you. Hope you stayed in bed until late the next morning. It’s good to hear you’re thinking positive and brightly though - it goes a long way towards the healing process, I think. In the winter at least you can wrap up on the sofa and indulge! Just got to get better and stronger now, flutterby!
I could easily not take my dog out in the winter, but like yours mine gets exited, his eyes brighten in his old face and I can’t refuse him. As he’s elderly we don’t go far now but I always feel better when I get back home for blowing away the cobwebs and the dog smells lovely, like clean washing. Dare I ask how your first day was???? Are you working full time? I really tittered at the Post Traumatic Son Disorder, ha ha, and the P T Skint Disorder, love it! I know you'd do anything for him really.
Bye the way, hope nobody sucks the corner of their comfort blanket.
Hugs all round. Ami xx
Yes Doz not what I need as just pulled myself out of the doldrums and don't want to go back there as I think I would need pills this time round.luckily I have a friend coming who always makes me see the funny side of things so will have sore sides by the time she goes(she has the nurses sense of humour ha ha)
Hope all you flutterbys have had a good w/end fortunately i don't have to go out in the cold so will stay snuggled up for a few more days.
Sons and their mums eh Doz they think its a bottomless pit mums bank that is.I am sure he will eventually repay you. Love and Huge Hugs xxx
BBBBRR!!!! its sooooooo cold!
Never thought i'd hear myself saying that, I almost welcome my hot flush's.. How sad is that!!!!
You poor love as if you needed that along with everything else!!
And having to be up and about.. not through choice at 2am is not good, i'm sure your poor bladder will recover soon its dreadful not being able to "spend a penny" and yes i,m sure it will be inflammed for a while so you take it easy young lady 🙂
I'm enjoying my last day off SIGH! i,ve still got PJ'S and D/G on and have no intentions of changing!! So i'm still in the snuggle club 🙂
My darling son has just emailed me to say he,s skint!!! Whats new!
all this spare time in Dubai has played havoc with his spending money... so he says? Could he have bought me some nice gold piece me thinks?? NOPE he went out on the town and just happened to fall into this really expensive restaurant/bar with the other guys so had to take some money out of his account!!! Now he does,nt have enough in to pay his mortgage AAAAAAARRGGHH!!!!
So yes been on with the bank today to transfer MORE money.. I will not be held responsible for my actions if he spends anymore!!!!
Dont you just love them!!!!
How nice to know i'm not alone ha ha ha ha!!! I,m sooo easy to confuse so be gentle with me 🙂 I thought it was only me that muddled things up! yes i've heard of PTSD we come across it with brain injuries as well as post op patients so i'm not surprised how familiar it sounds hon and yes i'm sure we have all suffered quietly with it (well not too quietly at times eh 🙂 at the moment mine is Post traumatic Son disorder!!!! soon to be PT Skint Disorder!!
Poor Monty twig indeed 🙂 You could always come and walk Ben!!!
fat little monkey is,nt geting out enough.
Snuggle down girls its too cold to go out, I,d been contemplating walking him myself but my PJ's won... again! Poor dog will be 10 stone by the time I get my enthusiasm back!
Four letter word is looming and i,ve still not ironed my uniforms..
Hope your all having a good weekend flutterbys big ((HUGS))
to you all xxxxxxxxxxxDozxxxxxxxxxx
Hi All, hope you are all warm and cosy this weekend.
Doz - I went to find a bulb for my salt lamp the other day. I took the old one with me and found its twin in Poundland (two in a pack). When I got home I saw on the pack it was an oven lamp. I am wondering whether it would also fit in a fridge? It worked lovely in my salt lamp so maybe it is universal.
Btw, lucky boy having a couple of extra days in Dubai.
I would love to get a dog but hubby says Monty our 10 yr old moggie wouldn't like it so we have to wait until he falls off his twig. Lol. Sue. xx
Hi flutterbys hope you are all cosied up in your snuggle blankets. I am feeling fine in myself but had glitch last night couldn't wee so ended up in A&E in agony what a relief when they put catheter back in. Think its probably inflammation and bruising from op so its in for a week to give my bladder time to settle down and recover. Trust me to have problems. But I must admit tummy feels a lot comfier and I will still be able to go out for a walk next week ( things are so much better these days Doz aren't they) Anyway enough of me moaning off to get all snuggled and an early night as didn't get home till 2a.m
Snuggle Hugs to all xxx
p.s hope work isn't too hard on yuor first day back Doz take it easy xx
Sorry Doz we have been looking at courses to run at work and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder also came up, it rang a few bells I can tell you! It affects some children that go into care if they have gone though traumatic events. When I was reading through some of the material it took my breath away to realise that we may all have it in some form or another! I know soldiers get it and it used to be called shell shock? Just really interesting as I had never looked at it like that till this came up and it gave me room to think! I know ME thinking??? impossible! have P.M'd you some stuff on it which I thought you would find interesting.
What a windy day here and still flipping cold! Go Doz and get you a Blankie!! I love mine saves putting heating on when poor hubby is hot and I am frozen!!!
Snuggle down all and Doz don't even think about it till you have to go to that place with the four letter word!
Loads of love to all flutterbys
p.s what a wally I am! put up words in wrong order sorry if I confused Doz! just put it down to my chemo brain! x
I have decided to go into business with a fabulous new brand......
Butterfly blankets ha ha ha!!!! I am so envious, just as the cold sets in and I hear you all talking about snuggling up in "butterfly blankets" I,m back to work AAAAAAARGH!!!
I was telling Em I dont normally feel cold in fact you all know the story of my central heating dances with Vikki... well ITS BEEN TURNED UP!!!! I,ve been b****y freezing the past couple of days and even the hot flush's have gone into submission... a bit!!!
Vikki came home late from work on thursday night and we decided to watch a christmassy film on Sky.. well she went up to have a shower and came down in PJ's ( i,ve taught her well) a dressing gown AND carrying her quilt!!!!!
I felt absolutely dreadful 😞 she made the excuse that she needed to lie on the sofa as her back was aching but in all honestly it was,nt very warm in my lounge so I gave in as even I was a bit cold so she must have been freezing bless her..
Hi Sue welcome back 🙂 No they never change do they 🙂 I think he has the wierd notion that mothers have money tree's in the garden!!
and like your's he NEVER asks his Father.. which naffs me off at times but we still do it hon 🙂
He has been given an extra 2 days in Dubai?? not sure why?? hoping to Skype him later after I,ve trawled the shops for a fridge bulb..
You dont realize how much light they give till their gone, and with shopping yesterday the damn things full and I cant find anything till I,ve moved it all in and out!!!
As for more exercise, do you have a neighbours dog?? that you would feel comfortable walking?? they are brilliant for getting you out and about. Ben my labrador is my poke in the back, he sits like a statue just staring at his lead thats hung up in the hall till I get my backside up, then when he see's me putting my coat on he does this jig that makes me feel so guilty and neglectful!!and yes once your out it is the feel good factor 🙂
Em I,m really stupid and a bit thick sometimes (most of the time) but what is PTSD Pretty Thick Stupid Doz..... ha ha sounds about right!!! Enjoy your butterfly blankets girls think of me dragging my sorry asse to work on Monday.. I DONT WANT TO GO!!!! I want to join you all in your coccoons SOB!!!!
Have a brill weekend flutterbys hope your well on the mend JMR and your being spoilt rotten girl sending hugs to each and everyone of you as alwayz xxxxxxxxx(((HUGS)))xxxxxxxxx Dozy
So glad you are home jmr and all snug in your rug!! I have got a huge fleecy one which is a godsend after treatment as I get chills and as you said COLD out there!!! I think we are in the best place just now!! I was looking at another thread Doz and it is about the very real possibility we are suffering with some kind of PTSD it does make sense doesn't it?
Well I think we are all on for some hibernating which is good for flutterbys and I for one will be in PJ's most of the weekend and staying put!!
ami so chuffed for you!! All good news is more than welcome and I love that we get to share it with great peeps!
whoops! 50something we posted at the same time! You are a brave soul and yes Wii sounds like a plan it looks like fun too and you get to stay in the warm! Great plan!
Have a snuggly weekend flutterbys Hugs Em xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Just popping in to see how you are all doing. Doz - Lads never change do they - All mine are grown up but still use the bank of mum (can't say & dad because they only asks me - I must be a soft touch). I hope he is enjoying his stay in Dubai. It is a wonderful shopping centre so you will have to drop a few hints about liking gold.
I'm still doing my swimming although I must say there are a few days when I have to force myself out the door at 7:30 am. I haven't missed any days yet but today was touch and go. I am glad I went though. It is like when you really don't want to go out but end up enjoying yourself anyway. I was trying to think of other exercise that might be as enjoyable but need a few ideas. I hate running and don't have a dog, which would encourage me to walk. I don't have a Wii but could drop a few hints for Chrissymouse.
Well lovely flutterbies. I hope you are all doing well and enjoying life again.
Thanks Doz I am lucky to have OH who is looking after me and spoiling me. Continue to think positive and all will be okay it has helped me.
I have also got a snuggle blanket so I am all cosied up on the sofa as its really cold outside xxxxhugsxxx
HI JMR 🙂
So good to have you back xxxxxxxxxxxx
And good to hear that your in your PJ'S ha ha go for it girl and enjoy them 🙂
You are right about thinking positive about everything I got sooo low and I dont know why with having such a good appointment??
But hey ho a year on in this damned long trawl and time to pick myself up again 🙂
Take care honey wrap yourself in cotton wool and chill flutterby Really glad to have you back xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxhugsxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Hi all you lovely flutterbys eventually escaped from hospital last night . Typical nurse couldn't wee after they took catheter out so was put back in for 36 hours so delayed me getting home.was glad to get some sleep last night.feeling fine but know have to rest and relax for a while ha ha I am bored already.Not allowed to do anything apart from make a cuppa.Glad you had a fabulous weekend Doz and your knee held out also must have been nice to skype Daniel.thanks for your kind thoughts again.glad you haven't got to go back for 6 months Ami. Emmy glad you got your teeth sorted everyone seems to be doing not to badly.Doz you have to be positive and try not to think of what will happen in the future just live for the day I am not thinking about next year just happy for results this year as they have made me feel more positive and I refuse to go back to the way I was.You of course have had a lot more to deal with what with Daniel going away but please try to think positive thoughts and then things may not seem so bad. Love and Hugs to all you flutterbys xxxxxxx
p.s got my P.Js on for the next week at least sooooo cosy xx
Was just going to log off I thought all you flutterbys had finally hibernated 🙂 though we had another in the house this morning?? really strange for this time of the year!!
I'M SO PLEASED FOR YOU.... thats such good news and probably worth the wait in the long run :)though 2 hrs is pushing it a bit poor you.
Yes you do live differently after going through the type of loss we have all been through.. Christmas has always been hard as they died mid/late December and because it was so close to Christmas we had to wait till January to have the burial, it was a very hard time for me, Christmas has always been a bit empty since as they were a big part of our festivities they stayed over with us for a few days.. though now i,m divorced at least i,m in a different house so the memories are,nt so painful.
As for work I really think a Nurses sympathys are saved for patients only.. tho not in my case I hope!!! It was par for course after some comments that have been voiced when others have been on sick so I expected nothing less.. A different planet is a brilliant description ha ha ha!!! tho honestly I would,nt want her job in these times it must be pretty stressful!
I did top his phone up only to get a text today asking for more!!!! till he gets paid, He has someone looking to buy his apartment tomorrow so was on the phone obviously for quite a while to the friend who is renting it from him.. thats quite sad really as its been on the market 4 months and no.one has been then one week after he goes he gets a viewing so i,m feeling quite sorry for his friend if it does sell quick 😞
Well i,m sure your feeling happy tonight knowing you dont have to go back for 6 months woohoo!!! Brilliant another step forward flutterby well done!
Love and ((HUGS)) to all you flutterbys hope your all well..
And Sinaed I hope your feeling better hon hav,nt seen a post from you for a while so I hope thats good... if you know what I mean xx
And JMR we are missing a flutterby hope you are flapping those wings to a good recovery 🙂 xxx
Take care girlies love Doz xxxxxhugsxxxx
Haven’t got to go back to the hospital for 6 months! Wish I’d never mentioned about waiting in the last post as I had to wait 2 hrs before seeing onc.! When I got back my O.H had a meal cooked for me so that was lovely.
Doz - I remember reading about you and Emmy losing parents in reply to my post & feeling so sorry. Losing both yours, was literally a double blow. I was dx same time as mum, different cancer, and put off my operatation until after her funeral. She never knew about me. It all seems to come at the same time flutterby, that year I lost a sister-in-law along with friends & nearly lost my dad. It makes you wonder how we’ve all coped on here. As you say you don’t really get over it, just learn to live with it, live differently, knowing your parents are still there deep in your heart. Well, you’re back to work!! Makes you wonder if the Sister is on the same planet - you must think, “Did she miss something - does she know I’ve been ill??” Very compassionate for a nurse!! Ah well, don’t go overdoing it - you come first right now. Skype’s wonderful for seeing those a long distance, bet you felt really near to Daniel. Dubai looks very luxurious and clean. Hope you’ve topped that phone up!!
Have you wrapped all those Chrissie presents up yet? And are the teeth OK? Hope it’s not going to be, “All I want for Christmas……etc” It’s horrid isn’t it when you lose a parent. Is your dad still around? Mine lives from day to day. He misses my mum terribly and only has me. Talk about us believing we 3 are long lost relatives, it would be odd if we knew one another from the same hospital!!
If you’re reading on here yet, hope you are not too sore, Hope to hear how you are picking up soon. Look after yourself flutterby.
Hugs to all, Ami xx
HIYA FLUTTERBYS xxxxx
Em... i,m so pleased to hear you got your teeth sorted out.. hope they behave themselves now.. cant be having falsies yet eh!! Mine has settled really well and has,nt caused me any problems at all so hope yours stays the same.. I know the tablets i,m on can cause mouth problems and tho I didnt have chemo it does seem a s/e from all that we go through!!! The gift that keeps on bloody giving.. AAAARGH!!!
Ami... I was so sad to read you lost your Mum too and can so empathize with you as Em said it seems a real coincidence that this all happens so close to a terrible loss and apart from feeling so raw over that this then comes along to test us even further I often wonder how the head and the heart copes but it does hon, although i,d turn the clock back to still have Mum and Dad here for a while longer (but not to go through all this again) never really did get over it I just accept it and try to carry on.. not easy!
I hope your appointment goes well for tomorrow honey dont you just get sick of it all 😞 I was on such a high after my results last week but seem to have come down to earth with a massive bang cos now I,m thinking another blasted yr to wait to see if i,m still ok.. Does it ever go away??
I so enjoyed my weekend away and it could,nt have come at a better time for me but now its over I feel quite flat and a bit despondant.. could be cos i,m back at work on monday and didnt get any words of sympathy from our Sister.. just gave me my shifts and said see you next week and would I still be able to do a double shift on xmas eve as she cant get anyone to cover it 😞 oh well it,ll take my mind of all the last few weeks events SIGH!!!
JMR THINKING OF YOU HONEY XXXXXHUGSXXXX
On a happier note.............. if I can drag myself out the doldrums!!! Daniel Skyped me today woo hoo!!! I just filled up and could,nt speak 🙂 He,s really enjoying his time in Dubai and has had lots of free time to sight see and has sent me pics of the area where he is staying its just something else girls.. its certainly not a country in poverty!!!!! Oh and could I top his phone up!!!! Somethings never change!!!! 🙂
Well my loverly flutterbys I think I,m going to put the old PJ's on and watch a film tonight.. had physio today and knee feels a bit sore, I think I did too much walking at the weekend but its getting there at last.
Love and hugs all round hope you are all not getting too stressed out with the xmas build up.. at least we should be a bit more enthusiastic this year.... ha ha!!! says she with a face like a well slapped arse!!!! 🙂
Sounds like you had an absolutely great time! All girls together. It'll have done you the world of good. All that shopping eating and drinking - what more can a girl want? Glad you managed to speak to Daniel and he's OK and put you in the picture, that will have put your mind at rest.
I never knew chemo affected teeth. I knew radiotherapy does if its in that area. Makes you wonder what else it all does that we don't realise!! Hope you shopped 'til you dropped buying yourself something nice.
I'm off Thursday morning to see onc.!! Hope I don't have to wait too long!
Hugs to all, Ami xx
Hiya Doz! Glad you had a good time, sounds like you need a rest now! Well bless my new dentist (old one retired!) Saved the tooth and told me back tooth is cracked so he has filled it though may need to have it removed at a later date! Eeek! He did however say it is common after chemo as it makes the mouth dry, told him its a shame they don't tell you that to start with! Well done and dusted for xmas. Hope all you flutterbys are well. take care Em xxxxx
I'M BACK 🙂 xxxxhugsxxx
Had a brilliant weekend 11 of us went we took a bottle of Champagne each and over the course of 3 days drank the lot!!!! Well I had a reason to celebrate HIC!!!!
I shared a room with 2 others and they eventually gave us the top suite in the hotel as we complained that the first room was too small for 3 so we ended up with this huge room with 3 beds in it..(happy not to share a bed with these hot flushes ha ha!!!)the view was amazing and needless to say our room was the meeting point for champagne and nibbles each nite before letting loose on Edinburgh 🙂
Had a trip to Glasgow on Sunday.. my bloody feet were killing me I forgot how much they all like shopping!!!
I did ok tho and knee held up thank goodness!
Managed to get a quick call in to Daniel in Dubai he arrived safe and sound so first part of his ??Adventure went well, he goes to Helmund Province early next week, as this week he is with the Military training for safety and security issues!! Gulp! From there i,m not sure where life will take him as yet or which camp he will be working in to start off so i,m hoping he will Skype soon!!!!
I treat myself to some new perfume (Agent Provocative) and was assured by one of the girls in our party it was a favourite with the men!!!! So I went to the counter to pay for it after liberally spraying the tester.. do you know the guy behind the counter served everyone but me!!!!!!!!!! It was then the standing joke of the weekend.. Buggers!
Went to some super restaurants (silly prices) but hey ho we only live once! The best was Angels and Bagpipes were I tried Venison and haggis, soooo scrumptious if I didnt think about what I was eating!
But the portions were minute.. bring back good old fashioned portions!! 🙂
Got home last night and slept for England as we didnt get much sleep there.. its always the same when women get talking into the wee hours and before you know it its breakfast time and I was,nt going to miss my good old english breakfasts so we were up at 7.30 each day.
All in all an absolute tonic 🙂
I did think about you all and especially JMR bless her hope all is going well for her xxx and yes Em a BC free weekend for once thank god! Tho on getting home there was the letter for my app, for Living with and Beyond BC so back down to earth once more!
Told you i,d be back 🙂 with avengance ha ha!!!
I,m still in my beloved PJ's and intend to chill for the day but had to post as i,ve missed you all 🙂 and was so nosey to see what you'd all been getting up to without me 🙂
Love to all you beautiful flutterbys hoping your all continuing to get that damned chrysalis off a bit more each day
How scary! I too lost my mum 8 months before DX as did Doz,who lost both parents at the same time. I am beginning to believe we are all long lost relatives! I feel lucky to have found such amazing people to share with.Well off I go so tired spent the afternoon shopping and as ever spent too much! Take care ami xxx
We are at a loss without Doz are we not?? Really hope she is enjoying her break without thinking BC!! Yes, as yourself, the kitchen is my domain, not that I wanted to take over, just that my hubby showed no interest in cooking apart from stirring pots on the stove! I really like the kitchen & cooking!! His speciality is corned beef hash which he made in abundance every time I went for chemo! Don't know why I shorten it to chemo, I don't think I was on such intimate terms to call it that!! He must have felt so lost in all of this, especially since my mum died a couple of weeks before I had a mastectomy and so I was wrapped up in everything! And still he was there for me.
Hope you read this before you go into hospital!
Enjoy your relaxation & wine tonight. I'm thinking of you for Monday, flutterby. Hope tomorrow flies (parden the pun) and you're in and out in the flap of a wing. Don't worry about posting Wed. night, just coddle yourself. And when you're stressed in hospital, just think of us all on this site, 'cos our positive healing thoughts are with you, sent out there - wherever you are - to download into a 'make me well' head file!!
Big Hugs, speak to you very soon, Ami xx
well flutterbys going to have a couple of glasses of wine tonight as will have to be early to bed tomorrow have to be at the hospital at 7.30 a.m which is early for me. But seeing as it takes ages to get to sleep may just as well have a late night. Thanks to you all for being there for me and I will post as soon as I can maybe Wednesday night if I feel okay.Hope Doz is having a fab weekend and hope the rest of you girls have a nice one too love and big hugs to you all and hope sinead your s/e lessen in time mine are not as bad as they were so hang in there will post soon xxxxxjmrxxx
Hi all, ami I know what you mean about hubby, mine is exactly the same I would have been so lost without him! Who knew he was such an amazing cook? it was only through having this bliddy cancer that I found that out, my fault it was always my domain the kitchen so serves me right but he does such a mean gluten free pasta dish that it is no wonder I have put on weight!
jmr we are all here and yes sending hugs, I told Doz that we were all together with her in spirit holding her hand and the same goes for you.
sinead, I do so hope you are feeling a little better to know that it isn't you and these blasted S/E are a total pain in the rear it puts me all about some days hence the Where did I go? When Doz first posted it was like that was me writing it and some of our lovely flutterbys could write each others post at times we all have so much in common regardless of what treatment we have had!
I so hope Doz is letting her hair down and having a few glasses of wine!
Sue how are you doing? I hope you are well? I was re reading some of the posts and so agree with the free membership of gyms etc I am trying more walking now but hell girl I do still get so breathless!!! I think sometimes it depends if it's a 'tired day' or not!
Well flutterbys have a peaceful weekend doing whatever makes you happy Em xxxxxxxx
Ha Ha Ha you fabulous flutterbys...
I soo look forward to your comments I must look a right pudding sat here... in pj's today Grinning my head off,
Daniels date was changed that much neither of us knew when he was actually going till last week so nothing to be forgiven for hon xxxx
And yes i,m sure O/H loves you to bits and is supportive and why not.. not all O/H have pretty flutterbys in their lives apart from the ones on here.... A VERY EXCLUSIVE CLUB INDEED 🙂
Thanks for the kind words hon, I know how you must have felt now when you got your results its such a weight off our shoulders Euphoric!!!! BUT I still didnt get a good nights sleep I was absolutely drained so went to bed at 10.. early for me, woke at one (the loo was calling me again) then fell asleep quite quickly 🙂 I try not to open my eyes too much.. but usually end up banging into a door frame on the way!!! then at 3.20 woke up again and was awake for ages.. didnt wake up again till 9 so a bit of a wierd night..
I do think i,ll get better its just everything thats been going on recently, and my trip will help me get some normalicy back.. If I dont get chance to post again before you go in my love to you and i,ll be just one of these flutterbys sending a massive hug letting you know were right there for you and standing by for the post to tell us your fine.. and you will be sweetheart 🙂 xxxxx
Em...........you are amazing hon a nutter maybe but priceless, you make me laugh when I dont want too you make me cry when I hear what you have to go thro and your sense of humour is second to none my lovely and are,nt we all getting there from when we first started this bless ya....xxxxxxxxxxxxx
I hope and prey you are feeling a bit better after reading all these posts keep posting honey we might not be able to take the grot away but i,m sure it,ll help you just knowing there are some crazy flutterbys who will always be there for you xxxxxxxxx
A VERY EXCLUSIVE FLUTTERBY SELF APPRECIATION GETTING IT BACK TOGETHER CLUB!!!! AND WHY NOT.. LOOK HOW FAR WE ARE HAVE COME!!
even the bad times dont seem too bad anymore and I know we all still have them so i,ll never ignore that but having you all around has been a life changing thing for me to be able to voice things that ordinarilly would have been bottled up and stored.. a bit like an old wine..
So here we go again cos i,m waffling now 🙂
To all you flutterbys I,m back on monday and I will miss you all but dont think your getting let off that easy I,ll be back ha ha!!!!
Love and hugs as alwayz have a fandabidosus weekend and love to each and everyone of you your all VERY special
Doz & Emmy. You’ve just made my o.h. laugh with your threats. Don’t be too hard on the him - no matter what I look like he still seems to love me anyway. Just trying to make light of me despairing of my hair. Says I worry too much. Am I vain or do I just have standards? He must love me, me thinks. He surprised me a lovely ring for all I’ve been through, then today some fab earings!! Hope you're not feeling desperately down, Doz, about Daniel. I didn't realise he'd gone, I've been thinking about you but I thought it was on the 28th, so sorry.
Sinaed - I’m really sorry to hear you’re still having side effects, it really wears you down doesn’t it? Feels like there’s no light at the end of the tunnel. I’m sure if anyone on here can help they’ll do so. I must say I haven’t had the same side effects as you but you must feel very low, especially when you had hoped to be picking up a bit. Your thyroid can be a fine balance and can make you feel unwell in all sorts or areas until they get the thyroxin dose right. I know because my mum had this problem all her adult life and had to take it permanently after a thyroid gland operation. Anyhow, we’re always here for you to come and have a chat and even though our problems might all be different to yours, we still listen and try to understand so don’t hang back, come and talk to us.
Sending a big hug, Ami xx
Best thing that was said to me was if they have'nt got it they don't get it! So yes lots of funny looks when i take the micky out of myself almost like i have lost the plot (yes!) But it gets me through so sod them ! Em hugs xxx
Agree with you Emmy about the black sense of humour but I have to be careful as I think sometimes people just don't get it ha ha xx
FANTASTIC NEWS DOZ so pleased for you you may find you sleep tonight.I go to bed shattered then snap awake and it usually takes ages to get to sleep then other nights I fall asleep quickly I am beginning to think its an age thing as well with me anyway.I have been going to exercise class at the gym twice a week and do find it helps and the people there are fantastic as all have their own problems.Ia am going to miss it as won't be able to go for next 6 weeks so will just have to get out walking as soon as I feel okay after my op.Don't know if I would have upset stomach with Letrozole as take Lansoprazole for hiatus hernia so perhaps that is helping. Doz this is a fantastic club you started and its great to be able to voice things you probably wouldn't talk about to anyone else but us flutterbys are supporting each other even though we have never met I feel as if you are all true friends so hats of to you all HUGS all round jmr xxxxx
Huge cheer for you Doz!!!!! Well flutterbys we have something to celebrate with Doz's news I am so happy for her.
My goodness (polite as ever!)isn't our 'exclusive' club growing? I think we are bloody amazing even on a bad day! I am a victim of the Zopiclone and am going to try to come off them but doc wants me to wait till after Christmas says he will help with that but hell don't I sleep and nope don't feel dopey (no comments) during the day, I know it's addictive but it got me through those sad nights of haunting my own house!!!
sinead I can really understand your saying about the after effects and no you are not moaning just venting in a very safe place, I have had the same but not thyroid problems. I can agree with the taste thing I finished chemo on New Years Eve, then had two ops then in June had rads. I am now on Herceptin and Arimidex so damned if I know which of these things is still causing my problems,I still have days where I get up so exhausted that I usually say someone put sand in my body whilst I was sleeping! On the omeprazole too have had awful tummy problems but hey ho!!! Still when you think about it we have done quite well despite the s--t we have gone through! I am slowly getting my sense of the ridiculous back and my humour has become somewhat 'black' due to the things we have gone through and done I think!
ami you tell your hubby be afraid we may be flutterbys but we BITE! scarecrow indeed!!!
Hey Sue much respect lovely no I think you are amazing!!! and yes I am a teeny bit jealous as I have never been able to swim!!! Well my wonderful flutterbys off now been a long day ??? Food shopping arrgghh!!! gonna do it online from here on in it is crazy out there!!! Big Hugs to all Em xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Sorry flutterby I missed your post so busy talking about myself.... selfish or what!!
I didnt have chemo but did have R/Therapy which floored me..
Im on Letrozole which causes a really dry mouth so along with the rads I guess were a bit the same.. I type better than I talk now!!!
I finished R/T in Feb and still suffer a bit, it must be common as the Living with and Beyond Cancer team gave me a questionaire to fill in for my app, with them in Jan, and its all about how we are coping/or not and any s/e which are still bothersome and hey ho half way down the side effects is Dry/Sore mouth so it must be common tho that does,nt help when its affecting us eh!!
All in all your right it is all bloody rubbish what we have to endure and i,d be worth millions if I could wave a magic wand and make it all go away but I can only tell you your not alone and I,m hoping sometime in the very near future we,ll all be writing OMG do you remember when we used to moan our heads off.. So moan away flutterby we all do it and we all listen thats why were here..
Bless you honey dont stop posting i,m sure more of these lovely ladies will answer your questions too xxxxxxxhugsxxxxxx
I think not flutterby slap him for me 🙂
I,m wavering now between high and low but i,m sooo tired and now at a relaxed state of mind for the first time in weeks..Its called shattered I think?
At least I got chance to pass on my news to Daniel... he was over the moon for me and I guess it was a relief for him too..
You are right what works for one is,nt always good for others, I will pass on any info from the meeting in Jan, but its a long time to wait sorry, if I come up with anything else you,ll be the first to know hon, the nurse did say our bodies sleep when they need too maybe were just people who dont need a lot? frustrating as that is I will get a good night after 2/3 bad nights!!
I have taken Night Nurse on the odd occasion and my god you get an amazing sleep but like the Zopiclone I dont want to find myself relying on it so it only comes out when I really need it.. its a Nurses tip when we,ve worked nights and need some decent sleep during the day 🙂
Well Flutterbys one and all This Mutual Admiration Society is ok by me look how far we,ve come if thats what it takes then thats what we,ll give.... along with yet more BIG hugs
Doz - What great news about your results!! I bet your on a real high and it must have been a huge relief when they told you there and then. Well done flutterby! I had to wait for mine to arrive in the post, and like you, I burst into tears, I couldn’t help it, it was such a relief. Sleep - I get later and later going to bed in order to be tired yet it doesn’t always work and someone said don’t read, but it’s all about what works for you I guess. I think its often psychological with me. The best thing I found to get off to sleep is a meditation CD which totally relaxes you, but not if I get up during the night. I’ve not heard of help with ‘living with and beyond cancer‘, sounds interesting! Our support and kindness as you say is no more than you have given us all on here. You have a very relaxed and compassionate way which I admire not only in you but in Emmy and others on here, because we all share the same thing. Ha ha, don’t know about Butterfly Club soon be Mutual Admiration Society!
Sue - I love the Exclusive Club bit, makes us all sound very grand!! I agree with all you say about exercise affecting your sleep, memory etc. I the past when I’ve got my mind set to click I find it really does work. Now I’m beginning to see the old self coming back with the addition of experience from BC, if that makes sense and support from the lovely girls on this site. Don’t let the ‘click’ wear off, keep up the swimming, I really admire your stamina!
Emmy - Funny isn’t it how we get creeps about moths but not butterflies. Must get my furry coat bought for the winter nights! I’m also getting up later due to staying up late until I’m tired, but the dark mornings don’t help. Got up this morning and said “o.m.g I look like a scarecrow!” My husband said “Well don’t go down the garden then. I asked “Why not?” He said “Cos you’ll frighten the birds!”
Hugs to all, Ami xx
Thanks for the welcome. Its great to have a safe place to talk without sounding like moaning. Just wanted to ask if anyone else has had side effects of chemo that have lasted like mine. I finished chemo then had rads back in april but still have problems caused by the treatment. I really struggled with chemo and afterwards it affected my thyroid so i now have to take thyroxine for an underactive thyroid. it also caused me to produce excessive acid in the stomach so I am still stuck with omeprazole every day. Also rads affected saliva production so I have a dry mouth all the time. All in all its a bit rubbish as I had none of these things before the treatment and no-one has any idea when they will get better if at all. Would appreciate any comments as i struggle to talk to anyone about these things as it sounds like a moan but in reality it is a cry for help...
Thanks flutterby and no we dont think anyone is bragging when they find something that works so you keep it up girl its good for us all to share.. one day i,ll be in competition with you as to how many lengths i,ve done... thats if I can remember Ha ha!!!Knee,s improved tons so i,ll be in training soon 🙂
Daniel is working with the Troops not actually a soldier tho he is staying on the same camps he,s with a company who test all the Electrical equipment for the soldiers and will be in tents with them all, tho that does,nt make me feel any easier.. as its still very volatile where he is.. but it was his choice to go and he,s got my blessings if it helps the boys out there, its just the reality of where he is that scares me... i,m sure he will be fine and it wont be too long (8 months) then he,ll be home..
Keep it up Sue and keep sending any good tips to get rid of the excess weight... love from a chubby flutterby xxhugxx Doz
Hi there lovely Flutterbies,
Thanks for the welcome to your exclusive club. I hope you didn't feel I was bragging about the swimming, it is just that it made such a difference to the way I felt that I thought it might be an option for those in the grip of depression and apathy -as I was! I am getting a bit obsessed with the weight thing. I weigh myself every day after my swimathon and most of the time it is downwards but only by ounces. - not much I suppose but there are other advantages to the exercise too. I find that I am sleeping so much better. Up until recently I could listen to the radio all night with no sign of sleepiness. Now I wake in the morning having had a lovely sleep and feel so much better. My memory is better too. I don't know if that is because I have to concentrate so much to count the lengths but I do know that the memory lapses have decreased somewhat. I hate taking medication and resent having to take the Anastrazole so when I was prescribed Venlafaxin for the hot sweats I picked up the prescription but haven't even started it yet. I have found that they are so much improved now and I am giving the swimming credit for that too. I really think exercise should be given on prescription - you know, a few free passes to a gym/swimming pool instead of paying for medication.
Oh and Doz, all my best wishes to your son. My eldest was in the Army and went to Iraq in 91. I have never been so worried in my life (and that includes my recent BC). He is still with us and just as ugly so my thoughts go with all the boys that are still fighting abroad. There is a march of the lads that have recently come back from Afganistan, through Leicester this afternoon and I really wanted to go and wave them in but I have visitors this afternoon so I will just say a prayer for them.
All the best to your boy and it won't be long before you are putting the banners up for him coming back.
A L L C L E A R
WOO HOO AND FIDDLY DI DE DUM 🙂
I,m soooo relieved.. I hardly slept last night tho not surprising with Daniel leaving and everything bouncing around the old grey matter.. even though there,s not much to bounce around anymore! ha ha!!
I got up and drove there very calmly almost resigned to hear bad news I was still really calm in the waiting room pretending to read.. as you do! Then they came for me for the mammogram and I started shaking and sweating and got a hot flush all at once and do you know.... IT DIDNT HURT anymore than normal WHAT A WUSS!!!
Then another session of pretending to read and I was called in to see the consultant, she gave me my results straight away and all is clear 🙂 I then burst into tears and I dont know why, she sat and talked to me and when I told her about the past couple of weeks she gave me a half hug. . .the other half Consultants dont obviously do 🙂 she was so lovely tho and told me to go and treat myself on the way home... so I did I bought a packet of chocolate cookies from Waitrose and i,ve just had 2!!!!
So flutterbys when your time comes dont sweat cos it really is,nt so bad its just waiting for the results and i,m praying you get them straight away.. xxx
you are right about the sleep or lack of it! the more we worry the worse it is, its a case of trying to chill when you go to bed..
I spoke to a Nurse today as i,m still part of an omgoing trial with Letrozole and they needed my permission to use my bloods for more tests and she asked how I was doing I told her about the lack of sleep and she said DONT go to bed till your tired then read, no tv as it stimulates and no caffiene for 3/4 hrs before bedtime!!
Thats me stuffed then 🙂
I have an appointment in Jan with the breast care team to talk about living with and beyond cancer and voicing concerns so i,ll chat with them about s/e and all the things we,ve chatted about on here... lets see what they come up with flutterbys xx
Thankyou all for your brilliant support and kindness you are all very special to me my butterfly babes.. I,m getting all mushy now so will close sending you all my love and massive big hugs
ami be very careful you could turn into a beautiful moth!! My husband helped someone with a phobia by telling them moths were butterfly's with furry coats!I am taking my sleeping tabs and getting up later each day! But I am allowed a late one was in work for half day yesterday! I sent a PM to Doz and am thinking of her,I will till she lets us know how she gets on.What a lot to put up with in one week! I am sure she will have all the flutterbys there with her in thought!
I was chuckling at the xmas pressie story it took me back to when the children were small and I was constantly running out of tea spoons, only to find they had been chucking them away with their yoghurt pots!!!
Wow Sue impressed I can't swim for starters and don't have the energy for another , amazing woman we are all agape well done with the weight loss! Funny we were all talking about the memory thing? I was in stupid tears trying to find a birthday card I knew I had bought for my grandson's birthday this weekend??? Found it.......erm...... in my bag! I must have put it there to remember but had the whole house up looking! Poor hubby just goes with the flow (good job) and just says nothing!
Well sitting in my PJ's nice as it is won't do got to take said card to daughters then get some food shopping ! Take care flutterbys catch you all later xxxxEmxxxx
Doz, I think the more we worry about not sleeping the worse we are, don’t you think? I’m always creeping around at the dead of night. I doubt if you’ll read this before your mammo Thursday, as I’m late. For some reason I haven’t been able to post the message and have had to retype. Internet connection’s been playing up all night. Sooo… I hope you go on Ok and they’re gentle with you. I have to go next Thursday to see onc. I’m wondering what he’ll say after 6 months!! I’ll be thinking of you.
Marym, Love the story of the Xmas presents! I have a tendancy to chuck secateurs (don’t know if I’ve spelled it right?) away with the clipping, arghhh!
Sue, big hello and welcome. I’m awarding you a bin lid medal for losing some weight. I also think I look older with extra weight. What with the hair and weight I hate what I see in the mirror. It just doesn’t look like me. I had a bug a few weeks ago and I felt pretty awful. I’m just beginning to get the energy back and threatening to jump on the Wii board and - yes- I know it’ll tell me off.
Oh Cackles - Aww, none of us need permission to become a flutterby - we just are, aren’t we? Just by the very word. Sums all of us up.
Jmr. Hope you like your new hairdo. I haven’t had mine cut yet. I’ve been trying to grow it into some reasonable length for styling. At the moment it seems to have stopped growing but it looks ok when I’ve given it a good styling myself, so I keep on trucking.
Hugs to all, Ami xx
Bless you and thankyou.. its been a hard few days celebrating one minuite then coming down to earth with such a bang tonight having said our goodbyes.. (for now) and sad to say I CRIED... the flood gates opened and I could,nt stop 😞 He filled up too so we were a right pair. It will be an experience for him and i,m sure (hoping) the time will fly, He,s 29 but still my baby 😞
At least it took my mind off tomorrow.. GULP, just remembered!!!!
Oh well we,ve been through worse and i,ve resigned myself to gritting my teeth when the clamps get close!!!! Enough of that i,m getting the collywobbles...
Glad to hear your having a make over 🙂 you will feel so good afterwards I didnt want to go home when I had mine cut a few weeks back! So enjoy it xxxxxx
Cackles.. not quite there yet but i,ll remember your post when I,m there hon 🙂 xxxxx
Love to all you flutterbys I,ll post tomorrow night to tell you how a wuss got on 🙂 xxxxhugxxxx
welcome Sue to the flutterbys they have been a great help to me and Iam feeling so much happier just to know I am not alone.
Hello Doz just to let you know you will be in my thoughts tomorrow as you have the dreaded appointment but especially as your son goes to Afghanistan I pray he will stay safe and the time goes over okay till you welcome him home again.
Hope the rest of you flutterbys are okay I am off to get the hair dyed cut and styled so will feel good for a few hours at least. Big hugs to you all jmr xxxxxxxxx
You ARE a flutterby honey a fully fledged one 🙂
We all support each other as you have with the girls on here and vice versa.. it does,nt take much to become one ha ha.. a few missing words in everyday sentences.. a bad day.. a good day.. not sleeping.. a sitiuation that makes you want to scream/laugh/cry and the most important one a BC traveller!!! all welcome 🙂
I didnt realize you were still the recipient of the dreaded Hickman line, I was lucky enough to not have to go through that bless ya xx but I do deal with patients at work who have them so I do empathize with you in wanting a bath.. Stinky :)sorry I didnt mean that 🙂
I get a bad taste too when I take Zopiclone but I think its just the tablet it tastes absolutely foul.. maybe try taking it really quickly so your taste buds dont grab it?? it is foul so I know where your coming from!
We all want a running commentary the day you get to eat all the scrumptious food hon 🙂 go for it girl, but go easy to start off with
we dont want you with an iffy tummy!
Take good care of yourself during the next 2 weeks.. weathers bloody awful so get the PJs out and chill and keep posting xxxxxxxxx
You are so right in the grieving part I think I can speak for all the lovely ladies on here after getting to know them and from what they have said.. tho it is hard sometimes to say goodbye to who you were I guess thats the denial part of grieving especially when your still the same person but just dont feel the same in the greater scheme of things.
Swimming and exercise is brilliant it gives out happy endorphines.... when you,ve got the get up and go to do it ha ha! mine gets up and goes without permission!!!
I am honoured to have got to know the ladies on here and to hear the journey they are on and have taken, some with great difficulty some with ease but each and everyone of you are getting there.. we all go at a different pace but we will get there flutterbys BIG hugs xxxxHUGxxx Doz
Thanks for letting me become a flutterby girls. Your posts are so supportive of each other. It is so strange I broke a tooth on my first chemo session but luckily it was ok and didn't cause any ulcers. I did have a quick panic tHough . Now in two weeks I can get it filled at last.....Fantastic
I think anybody with a cancer diagnosis should be able to have sleeping pills..... We all can cope so much better for a bit of sleep. So don't feel guilty just relax and have a good nights zzzzzzz. Zopliclone leaves a horrible taste in my mouth ..has anybody else had that problem?
I am going into hibernation until the risk of neutropaenia is over. Only two weeks then salad . Shell fish, fresh cheese, rare meat . etc. the best thing of all will be to have the Hickman out and a soak in a deep bath rather a wash in a puddle.
How long does the sore fingers and toes last after Tax? They are so tender.
I really think that after all the chemo/rads etc has finished is the hardest part. Reading your posts have resinated with me so much. I finished chemo in August and am only now on Anastrazole. My 'noob' is now very neat and I don't feel inclined to have a boob job to make me symmetrical again - don't sweat the small stuff as one of you ladies said. Then a feeling crept up on me that something was missing - my old self. I feel you have to grieve for the person you were before you were dx with BC. Grieving can be a long process and you have to go through all the stages. Depression and anger are all part of it. There are days though when I think, 'haven't you done well!' After the chemo and the se's that went with it, I think we could all give ourselves a pat on the back and congratulate ourselves on a job well done. But on other days, I find I am so apathetic and I sit around doing sod all most of the day. My saviour at the moment is swimming. With the Anastrozole and what went before, I had put on 2 Stones and felt fat and old. I decided that I would have to do something about it and joined a gym. Now I swim every weekday morning. I do 60 - 70 lengths and then 10 minutes on the cross-trainer. I can't tell you the difference it has made! I feel less slothful and have much more energy. My hot sweats have become so much better and I haven't felt depressed since I started. I can't say the weight is falling off me but I am gradually going down. When I started on 15 Oct, I was 10 Stones 10 lbs. I am now 10 Stones 5 lbs, so nothing drastic, but at least I have not put any more on and I feel more 'myself'. I know that swimming will not do it for everyone but some physical exercise, whatever it may be, works wonders.
All the best to everyone struggling with the post-BC blues. Hopefully we can look to the future and see ourselves enjoying life again pretty soon.