G'Day lovelies! I was saddened by the news and only visited the dark woods as an observer but now I reckon Rev Cat will be busy dishing out the lace hankies which will be needed.
Doz my flower so glad you enjoyed your week with Viks and feel for you re Afgan Dan but not too long hunny and he will be home. Jane,Ami,Janice,Carolyn ,Jane2 and all our flitterbys who drop in and out along with our new flutterbys I hope you are all well and I do think of you all as I said you were my biggest reason to finally do this! Ami I will be back I have no intention my lovely of going anywhere!
As for Oz it is such an amazing place and so much space that my poor jaw keeps hitting the floor on a daily basis! My wonderful Bessie is going well (very Oz!) we have been to the compulsory BBQ , met some lovely people and been to some lovely places with much more to come! I feel so privileged to be here in this place which I did think would never happen but wow! I am enjoying it so much and the catch up with my adopted family here has been wonderful. I will as promised send you updates on our time here so sending you all much love,spoons and of course group hug Em xxxxx
didn't want to put this on the DDW thread but I was and still am knocked sideways by poor SCACO and ELTICKS...am feeling better today but still fragile and quite frightened to be honest.....am determined to get on with it though...from personal experience of cancer bereavement...life still goes on regardless whether we like it or not....hopindg all you ladies are feeling fine...Maggie
Wooo! Big long post Doz! Thank you for taking the time and care.... welcome home! We missed you.
Probably been quiet on here, cause folk have been visiting the Dark Dark Woods to say goodbye to Elticks & SCACO. Knocked this particular flutterby for six, and made me feel VERY fragile and vulnerable. My lovely locum colleague dealt with all things heavy and emotional yesterday (bless him). I had a good chat with BCN (who told me to go home and look after myself - so I did!) On my own today, which will be good too... don't get much space...
Hope you precious ladies are OK...
My daughter's partner sent me a lovely animated "smiley face" hug yesterday - if I could paste it in here for you all, I would....
Home and chilled 🙂 What an amazing week we both had... Very sad saying goodbye to Daniel again tho he will be home for New Year and his birthday so we will be enjoying this coming new year activities me thinks 🙂
Ragdale Hall is an amazing place to relax be pampered and find some inner peace... Vikki slowly flourished with the back massages and Thermal Spa's and halfway through the week she was able to shed the back brace for quite long spells, which in a way gave me the chance to relax too 🙂 so I reckon it has done us both a power of good!! We should have been coming home thursday night but neither of us wanted to so we booked an extra night and with it being short notice we got the only room available... a suite 🙂 and didnt have to pay extra woohoo!!! in fact with being there 5 days we got it at a reduced rate so it really made us smile 🙂 All in all a week to remember!!
Just been catching up on all the posts.......
Janice not long to go till its Centreparcs ENJOY 🙂 We used to take ours when they were younger and always had an amazing time.. though one of the best times was when a group of us went without the children and found the child in us again 🙂 Hoping all is well with the family and of course yourself xxxxx
Jane I love the little wave 🙂 you are a busy lady I dont know where you get the energy from? But on the Green Chutney oh yes please 🙂 On the sleeping problem... that'll be me too once i'm back at work (tomorrow night) I still take half a 3.5 Zopiclone it does do the trick tho is'nt a long term solution but by taking half it just kicks sleep in and I dont feel too bad the following day I feel so sorry for anyone suffering with it as the more it affects us the more stressed we get its such a vicious circle.. after 3 days of my hols I was sleeping like a baby for a good 7 hours so I know for me its stress 😞 I spoke to one of the therapists while I was ther and she suggested hot milk before bed then when you get to bed lie quiet for a few mins and start to tense every part of the body from head to toe (listening to calming music) then slowly work backwards un-tensing each part breathing deeply... then lie quiet and imagine you are somewhere warm and peaceful!! We went to a relax and unwind session where they did this and within 15 mins someone started snoring 🙂 so it didnt work for me then as I just wanted to giggle 🙂 but I was halfway there till then 🙂
Carolyn I do sympathize bless you we try to get on with our lives in the best way possible but BC takes so much out of us 😞 and mentally were sometimes not as capable of sorting things out... or dealing with whats thrown at us, its the same in the NHS now.. so much is thrown at us and I know my head sometimes is'nt able to work the way it did, causing us more stress, stress that we could do without.. I think your Boss could be a little more understanding rather than putting the guilt back on you, thats really not fair, I hope you find a level playing field soon and manage some ME time for yourself hon xx
Ami how thoughtful you are moving to help your Dad i'm sure with your kind and wonderful sense of humour you will be a blessing for him, but I dont envy you upping and packing to move eeeeek I dread to think of moving again I have collected so much (clutter comes to mind) since living here I would'nt know where to start?? xx
Stella I hope you are feeling a bit better with yourself without having to go back on tablets 😞 and well done you for taking up line dancing 🙂 it does'nt matter if you loose step as long as your getting a buzz from it just laugh at yourself.. I do it all the time and laughter is wonderful medicine 🙂 xxx
E-Jane that was good news for you with the cyst.. tho unpleasant it must have been such a relief 🙂 France is one of my favourite places I often say if I win the Lottery HA HA!!! I will move there, the food is so tasty and fresh so I hope you had a wonderful time.. it sounds as if you did 🙂 as for the spiders... I found a few hiding when I cleaned through too... I moved the sofa as I have wooden floors and if we move the furniture it is scuffing the wood so decided to put some fresh scuff pads on the feet!! only to tip the sofa over and a HUGE spider ran out from the base.... I almost dropped the darned thing and when I say huge I mean huge and the scary thing is I dont know where it went eeeeeek!!!! xx
Well Girlies I think you must all be sleeping by now 🙂 sorry!!! If I have forgotten anyone please accept my appologies and a big hug 🙂 I hope life is treating you all well i'm soooo relaxed after my break its hard to find the motivation to do anything but I must so better shed the PJ's and crack on :)... after one more coffee!!!
Love hugs and spoons to everyone flutter gently Girlies xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxhugsxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
P.S Em if you get to see this HAVE A BRILLIANT HOLIDAY SWEETIE 🙂 xxhugxx
Sleeping potions.... I use Melatonin, which is the natural stuff we produce at night to tell ourselves to sleep. Only available online, but it seems to help... and Natrasleep for when the brain won't turn off.... and Sominex for when I'm really stressed... You're not getting the impression I'm an insomniac flutterby are you? or a herbal junkie!?
Stress doesn't help us when we feel down... and sometimes we can't do what we used to do... and people SHOULD understand that (but often don't)... I feel for you....
Well done EJane - HUGE relief....
er..yes.. that flutterby is my artwork. Actually, the way it's turned out the detail on it is awesome (tiny veins) - couldn't do it again if I tried (I did, and I couldn't!) Becaue it represents how i feel at the moment, I've framed it and hung it near my computer.... it means something to me...
posh wedding in Cambridge colleges tomorrow... and I'm SO tired.... but the good news is that the punting on Sunday has been cancelled, so I can come home and veg... or is that dig the veg? Ah, I remember - I was going to make green tomato chutney.. maybe have a snooze first!
have a good weekend flutterbies
lots of love to all... down under... on holiday... wherever you are... J xx
Carolyn, you haven’t missed any news regarding my Dad….just that we are forward planning to move to him to share our lives and a bit of support. I can’t believe how much stuff we don’t use but keep, and considering we have moved many times and thrown out, we still seem to collect! I honestly don’t know how you handle your job, I don’t think I’d have the patience. No wonder you’re worn down. I just hope you can rise above it and know you are the most important person in all this and you don’t deserve to have to carry it all by yourself or put up with it if it’s not acceptable.
Stella, I hope you are feeling a bit happier. Sometimes you just can’t help the way you feel and even when you’d give anything to not feel that way, nothing seems to work, does it? Maybe it’s just time you neeed that will heal? I expect you’ve tried Nytol to help you sleep? They do a herbal one as well as the usual. Good to hear you are line dancing. Music and dance always lift me!
Emmy. If you’re there, hope you’re having a wonderful time, flutterby!
Elsa-Jane, what a leap forward for you not to cry. A milestone, and I like the “cheeky mare”! Ha ha ha!
Janice, how is your cleaning and decluttering going? I have a combi-microwave and we decided to upgrade so we ordered one and it arrived and I left it in the box while I went to use the old one and found it wouldn’t work! Must have been listening and gone into a huff! How odd is that?
Jane, friendly wave also! I felt sorry for my little lonely Flutterby! And another one cleaning, it must be catching! At least we feel like doing some these days!
Love to anyone I’ve not mentioned
Sending hugs, Ami xx
Hi Carolyn, oh I do sympathise (have a shoulder). I can see hubbys point but perhaps you need something from GP to help you address the issues at work. Its difficult to deal with 'issues' feeling as you do. I'm feeling very sorry for myself at the moment and feel such a wimp cos of all the good thing I've got going for me. Tablet (amptripyline hasn't kicked in yet (if its going to) and feel really down. I mentioned citalopram to my GP cos I'd heard people say it was good and don't want to panic anyone else but she said she's not prescribing it at the moment cos there's an issue with the heart? - Didn't go into details, they all have side effects I suppose cos of what they're doing. One would think your boss could see what the workload is doing to you and try to reduce it for you. Are you considering a job change perhaps?
I bought some Melissa Dream (herbal) to help me sleep, the dosage is 2 tablets at night and I did sleep but felt groggy all next day, when I reduced to 1 didn't work - it might be worth you trying.
I started line dancing Tues night, enjpyed it but found it very difficult to remember and concentrate on the moves - chemo and tabs still playing with the memory! BIG HUG to you.x
Jane, is that your artwork? Very colourful flutterby.
Ami, Janice hope you are doing ok.
Have a nice day all.
Crabbit-you sound so stressed you poor love..obviously I don't know what is happening with you but I work in children's mental health and I know how difficult this can be...a lot of my work is seeing children with challenging behaviours and I can only imagine what it must be like actually having to deal with these challenging behaviours face to face day in and day out.
Stella-I hope you are feeling better and not so down....how lovely to have a choice with hair!!
Emmy-you should be in Oz by now....enjoy yourself....it must be great seeing your friend again
Ami-I did melt with relief when I was told it was just a fluid filled cyst...I had an inkling everything was ok when after doing my ultrasound the doctor said I didn't need a mammogram. I didn't cry at this appointment as I have at every other one...consultant was well impressed! She told me she now expects a few tears and had the tissues ready...cheeky mare!
I'm getting ready to go to Mull washing clothes etc....we leave very early on Saturday morning as have to catch ferry mid afternoon..can't wait...as Chris Packham says it's never dull on Mull.
Hello to all you flutterbies I haven't mentioned...thinking of you all..love and hugs and spoons to everyonexx
Psst Hi Jane, I'm still here, just busy busy. Hope you're doing ok. xx
Hello Ami, lovely to see your cheery posts again, oh yes I am still grumpy, but more on that later!! I've missed the news with your dad Ami. I hope things are okay and I hope you are looking after yourself too. x
Hi Stella, I hope the new AD does the trick. We can't function without sleep. It's awful so I have everything crossed for you. x
Oooooo Em I think you will be away by now. Lovely time of year to go to Oz. Have a fabulous time, you certainly deserve it. x
Elsa, yeah I am glad you had the cyst identified and drained. It is such a worry and I think we get to be so practical with BC you can't help preparing for every eventuality. Glad it's ok x
Hi Janice, thank you, You'll be counting the days until centreparcs and your boy being here for Christmas. Lovely family times. I'll spend a week in October at my sister's in HERTS, looking forward to that. x
Doz, I hope you have had a fantastic break too! xx
Five weeks into term here and I can't say too much on these forums but workload and 'challenging' behaviour issues have got me worn out already. Not been sleeping and the days are relentless and then I'm finding it hard to get the paperwork done too because of all the 'fire fighting' through the day. Sorry I know it's a bit cryptic but in short I have the most challenging situation in my workplace and it lead to me talking with boss this week She really tried hard to be supportive but the sub text is still ' I only gave you this because I thought you could cope ' so the guilt is still here for me.
I know I have severe stress and anxiety issues, Hubby wanted them all to be addressed at work, this can't happen so I might try GP again for some citalopram. He is not in favour of this because he feels I am having too much asked of me too soon but I feel I need something to help me survive and sleep.
Other than that I am trying (honest) to keep my life in perspective. xx Hugs to all xx
Quick wave to everyone on the way to w.o.r.k..... I've not had time to catch up on you all... but I think ankles are healing... families are coming... holidays too.... and someone is CLEANING???? What??? No - I did that the weekend before last having had to scour the house for a friends keys, i realised how filthy it was.. embarrassing! Hey ho...
Doz I too was diagnosed in November so xmas 2010 was a washout and then last year had my gynae op and problems so this xmas will have to be the bestest ever I hope.Have a great time.
Stella hope your new pills help I have so far stayed away from a/ds but sometimes wonder if maybe I should take them if even for a short while may have another chat with my doc xx
Elsa Jane how worrying for you but so glad all was ok.Hope you continue to remain well.
Em already wished you a good time but will do it again have fun
Ami I am having days too when I have a burst of energy and start clearing things out methinks may have to start in the kitchen tomorrow as some cupboards are becoming lethal as stuff is piling up and up.
All you other flutterbys I haven't mentioned have a good weekend everyone and hopefully the sun will be shining love and hugs to all and loads of spoons for Doz and Emmy to enjoy themselves without getting too tired bye for now Janice xxx
I expect you are, or have been saying your goodbyes today, Doz? Hope you’re not too down now Dan’s gone. Bu off to Ragdale tomorrow, Yay! Hope you have a great me, me, me time…both of you, you deserve it! What a lovely son to buy his sister an i-pad, Daniel must get his thoughtful generosity from you. Pleased your ankle is getting better for tomorrow. I’m still clearing out too. I’m looking long term and preparing in advance to live with my Dad as our support will be helpful to him.
Carolyn, wow! You’ve done so well on your run, I’m envious and raising so much money, you must be so proud of yourself. Clap, clap, clap! A busy time for you at the moment being back at school…. the kids have only just gone back this week around here. You’ll have done your Fiday run this morning I should think? And as for you saying you’re crabbit and grumpy??? Never!!!
Janice, what a long time without seeing your son! How hard for you both. Bet you can’t wait for the time to come round when you’ll be together! That’s something to really look forward to, it will be floodgates opening with all the tears!
Elsa Jane, what a horrible worry for you to find a lump on your holiday!! Having to face it all when you came back again, I can imagine how awful you must have felt, flutterby! I would have been beside myself and would have melted into a pool on the floor with relief when I got those results! I really feel for you. I love the part of Scotland where you’re going, so relaxing.
Emmy, all the thank you’s? I hope you’re planning on coming back to us! I think I should be thanking you for your support, my flutterby! Have a wonderful happy time, both of you, with your friends, I can’t tell you how happy I am for you! Bye bye! Hanky out and trumpeting a boo hoo!
Stella, so sorry you’ve been so low. I feel tearful if I don’t get sleep, not from anything in particular, just makes me want to cry a bit. Letting go on Tuesday, I’m sure will have helped, when I pick myself up, I too feel better for it! Such a release. Enjoy some sun this weekend, won’t you?
Love to all, Ami xx
You have a wonderful time, enjoy and relax - you deserve it! And what an inspiration to all of us - going to see a flutterby of 22 years - gives me faith. Hope your laptop doesn't play up and you can keep us posted with everything you're getting up to!
Elsa - what a worry for you on holiday - glad it was a cyst, but you can't help thinking the worst can you however hard you try be positive. Hope you have a lovely week in Mull, sounds very relaxing.
Carolyn, well done on your 10k, remember to get some 'me' time as well.
Welcome to our new ladies - I had my coloured 6 months after end of chemo in May this year and going to have some hi-lites next week. I'm in between wig and real hair at the moment but what the hec, I have a choice!
Saw dr yesterday and she's changed my a/d so I'm hoping to get some decent sleep over the coming weeks, I have felt really low this week with coming off the other one though - didn't realise it would be so bad. Didn't come into work Tuesday, sat and bawled all morning - but feeling better for it.
Janice - I can't imagine not seeing my sons for 6 years -must be very hard. Hope you are keeping well.
Have a lovely weekend in the sunshine everybody.
Hugs all round
Hello lovely flutterbys! Just doing this now in case I have probs with my pad in Oz! I hope to send weekly updates but just in case I wanted to say a HUGE thank you to all you wonderful ladies who held me up when I felt like falling and for being here when I needed an 'ear', the virtual hand holding when going for mammo's and all manner of things! I am pretty sure we would not be making our delayed trip if I hadn't felt your support through this wonderful thread, you gave me the courage to say YES!
So I am on my way to see a dear friend and spend time with her, she too is a flutterby and survivor of 22 years which is another thing that kept me going!
I wanted to say that you are the best kind of friends anyone could ask for, non judgemental, supportive and all in all pretty amazing! But you all knew that!
I have so much to do this weekend that I needed to say this now before the madness of last minute catches up with me! It always does! Right soppy head off! I have to find room in my hand luggage for fruit gums! I am taking them as a gift for my friend as they are so expensive in Oz, who knew they could be so heavy?
Take care and hopefully I will be in touch if not I will defo be in touch when we get home! Loads of love, spoons and a big group hug! Em xxxxxxxxxx yep sunglasses too!
I haven't posted for a while...have been on hols and only came back on Saturday..we had a lovely time..did canoeing, eating,swimming, eating, sightseeing oh, and eating!! Great food over there. Slight downer in the first week when I found another breast lump...my heart sank, my boob was really tender...I didn't know whether to tell my husband as I didn't want to spoil his holiday as this was supposed to be our treat after this awful year. But, after much thought, I decided to tell him as I needed to phone the hospital from France to line up an appointment for when we got back. I was determined that I wouldn't let it ruin our holiday but it was always there at the back of my mind...what if? Anyway, long story short...saw consultant yesterday..I felt so sick...couldn't eat my breakfast, my hands were cold...so anxious...had an ultrasound and it turned out to be a fluid filled cyst which was drained. I was just so relieved....So, we're going to Mull a week on Saturday so perhaps I can use this holiday to really relax.
Been trying to catch up with all the posts..welcome to the 2 new flutterbies, Emmy...how many sleeps to go now!!You sound so excited....hope you have a wonderful holiday
Doz..there must be something in the air, I'm having a clean up this morning..even washing the skirting boards today! Can't believe how many cobwebs there are though, spiders must be coming in due to the colder nights
Jane-not sure I could be silent for over a week but, I am going to use Mull to take time out and reflect on events..even decided to take a sketch book to do some drawing; plus my bag of knitting and a couple of good books to read
Anyway, there's cleaning to be done then hircut this afternoon then friend coming round this evening for a chinwag
I dont know how you have coped with 6 yrs bless you.. I reckon the tears will flow when you finally meet up again 🙂 I was diagnosed just before christmas so it holds some strange unreal memories but with Dan coming i'm hoping the festivities will take on the christmas spirit again..... its time life threw something nice at us all for a change eh!! 🙂
I have had a couple of busy days I decided to have a summer clean out and i've washed curtains rugs (one being 4'x8' which is now hanging on the line) and anything that got in my way... including the dog!! I hav'nt got the enthusiasm or motivation I used to have so it was a coffee break here and a sit down there 🙂 but i'm all sparkling again and ready for my break 🙂 er.. just realized there's still the ironing to do 😞 but if the sun keeps shining I will be setting it up in the garden, the forecast is good up to the weekend so I'm keeping everything crossed it stays nice 🙂
I wont be posting for a week now as the laptop is'nt coming with us so i'm just sending love hugs spoons and tons of sunshine to you all and EM HAVE AN ABSOLUTELY MAGICAL HOLIDAY WOO HOO 🙂 xxx
Flutter gently girlies and enjoy the weather while it lasts love as alwayz Doz xxxxxxxxxxxhugxxxxxxxxxx
WELL DONE CAROLYN what a star.
Doz glad ankle is improving and I am sure your break at Ragdale will do you and Vikki good.We are going to Center Parcs in October and I love spending time in the spas there as its so relaxing so looking forward to that.Sad Dan is going back but won't be long to xmas and hopefully we will both be enjoying seeing our sons as my eldest is hopefully back here for xmas and its 6 years since I have seen him so it will be great.
Hope all you other ladies are fine flutter gently in what little summer we have left love and hugs as always Janice xx
Hello lovelies (and our new girls),
Sorry I have not been on for such a long time. Four weeks being back at school and I have no time to myself at all! I don't know how often I'll be able to check in because OH is also working away most weeks and I am in scrambling mode just trying to keep things ticking along doing the basics.
I haven't had time to catch up properly but so pleased that you've managed some decent time with your Dan Doz and glad that you and Vikki are getting some joint pampering!!
I did finally do my 10k for BCC at the weekend though and was delighted that my 6 weeks of training had done enough. £350 raised for them, people were unbelievably kind and generous. Now I am determined that I will continue this (esp when work is so stressful!) so Friday morning ( when I am off!!! ) will be a long run day and I'll try to do a race every now and then - but no charity stuff for a good year.
Love and hugs to you all, yes I'm still crabbit and grumpy!!!
And welcome to our 2 new girlies 🙂 as Janice says this site has been an incredible support.. not just for reassurance which we all need but for the chance to get to know some amazing ladies!!! and its a help to know the new us is quite normal, which we have all learnt, I dont think we change so much as in change.. I think we become different when we've been touched by C... it takes the wind out of our sails for a while and then makes life that little bit more precious once we come to terms with the new us and the effects of treatments xxxx
No Janice I didnt get the xray in the end.. tut tut!!! there has been so much going on with Daniel being home and going back to Afghanistan this friday 😞 then Vikki and myself going off to Ragdale on saturday that there didnt seem to be the time to spend hours in A&E.. which would be the case, so its being rested iced and strapped up whenever possible, also wrapped myself in cotton wool 🙂 and quite selfishly I didnt want them to tell me I had damaged it and for it to spoil my break its calmed down and the bruisings gone and I can walk on it.. its just a bit sore when I pull my toes up so I think i've just wrenched the blessed thing!! Its no fun growing old it takes so long to get back on your feet.... literally!!! I should have been in Mallorca this week 😞 and as much as I know I needed the break its brilliant that me and Vikki are now able to get some pampering together 🙂
Its been lovely having Dan home he has stayed with us for a couple of days much to Vikki's delight and he bought her an ipad to keep her occupied (an early xmas present) its been so good having both my offsprings around 🙂 Happy Mummy!!! Not looking forward to saying our goodbyes again tho, but i'm taking him to Manchester so I will get some time to get used to it 😞 then off to the Spa saturday woohoo!!!
I hope you are ALL well and enjoying this little bit of late summer....
EM!!!!!! NOT LONG NOW 🙂 I bet your heads somewhere else at the moment hon 🙂 have yourself a magic holiday and we will look forward to your messages.... tho i'm sure you will be a bit preoccupied 🙂 and why not!!!
Love hugs and flutter gently Flutterbys..
Welcome applestreet and verityc how lucky you are to have joined this web site I have found everyone so helpful and they are there for you whenever you need them.I colour my hair but am starting to think maybe I should just let it grow in naturally but it is a mish mash of grey and browns and reds that it looks such a mess.
Hope all you other flutterbys are doing okay. How is your ankle Doz and did you get that x ray.Take care all love and hugs Janice xxx
I haven't got anymore treatment apart from Tamoxifen....and side effects.....I am coming round to the idea of the new me and my OH says he's just grateful I am here....I am looking forward...just a little bit...to getting back to some kind of normal life...whatever that is now....I'm going to have a look for the frizz serum and just use that for now and see how much it has grown by Xmas...which to me is just fantastic as this time last year I was diagnosed and was convinved I wouldn't see Xmas last year...best wishes to everyone M
Hi newling flutterbys! I am finding that my hair has started to actually grow in length instead of outwards! It grew like wild mint but outwards, not an attractive look along with the frizz.Still so grateful to have hair now so any kind is fine with me! A good friend pointed out that grey is rather sexy now thanks to ladies like Helen Mirren and Judy Dench hmmm! I like that! ami you are so right I have struggled for the last few months to lose the weight and only managed four pounds but rightly I would have scared myself if it had fallen off! I am now in serious countdown mode, we fly a week Monday WOW! Where did the time go? Like a kid at xmas counting the days and sleeps to go along with barmy friend in Oz who sends texts with days,hours and minutes. I hope you are all well going for the broad brush stroke as our lovely Jane would say as on touch pad and fingers not brilliant. I will be able to update weekly on our adventure so I won't feel out of the loop when I get back! Much love and welcome new flutterbys group hug, spoons and exceedingly wonderful hair growth! Em xxxxx
My hair has now grown out the frizz and it feels more like my own. I was on Herceptin for a year after Chemo and the texture didn't come right until it started new growth after I finished that. It's been a long haul waiting so I don't want to do anything rash to my hair. My hairdresser advised a good cut, good meaning skillful cutting and a style which can be brushed in any direction. It's now months since that advise 'cos I've been waiting for the texture to grow properly but it's come right in the end.
Jane, I used John Frieda serum and now I don't need it much. I'm finding Tigi Catwalk range great! The eyelash serum is L'oreal and cost under £10. I think if I have colour on my face, my grey hair looks fine but I need makeup or I look a bit wishy washy. How vain am I?? Oh, and you are cleaning the carpet because you are like me....cannot sit and do nothing?
Applestreet, the lump you had certainly does make you think! I'm getting used to the different me, now. As you, I put on weight and haven't lost it....but then I don't want to start losing it and start worrying as to why! I think us Flutterbys can look great at any age with a bit of effort, but we haven't had the inclination before as we haven't always felt well enough to bother much. When we feel better we take a step back and study ourselves with a detatched eye and gradually things start to come right again. As you say, it's so true....we are grateful for everyday now.
Verity, I asked myself eventually why I was wanting to start colouring my hair again and I think the answer was because I hadn't accepted myself when I looked in the mirror. When I'm dressed up I'm happy with my appearance but I do realise I need some colour. Not hair colour but clothes and make-up colour to lift me. Perhaps your friends reaction to you is like our own, we look different to them now and it takes a bit of getting used to. I think you're right about women being more concerned than men. Some women pay to look like we do! When I eventually got some length I felt much better about my hair but it's hard to be patient and our hair makes such a difference to our looks!
Sending good hair thoughts, Ami xx
you're not wrong about the salt and pepper thing but i see women with funky hairstyles and their hair is 2 shades of grey. I might not bother dying mine. My onc said it is OK but I am like you Verity I worry if I aggavate my body with chemicals will I start it off again? I couldn't bear to think that because of vanity I wouldn't be here. I am going to let it grow a bit, it looks OK now but the frizz is a pain. I had a sleek bob before....time for a change?????
I hope you don't mind me joining in, but the comments about hair dye caught my attention and struck a chord....My hair is growing back and is salt and pepper. I had been dying it for years and have bought several hair dyes post treatment and regrowth but I can't bring myself to actually dye my hair. I too am worried about putting chemicals on my head, and even the organic dye I found had quite a list of things. I don't think it looks too bad but some of my friends react quite badly to it, which makes me feel bad. BUT, just when I think that I had better dye it, I find myself thinking that it will be me and mine who will suffer most if I develop another secondary, so perhaps people had just better get used to it.
Interestlngly, women seem more concerned about salt and pepper grey than do men...
and lots of thanks for the welcome... salt and pepper is quite the way to describe my hair.. I.m quite a bit nervous of colouring it because I read of Parabens or something being found in tumours. I don't know if it had anything to do with my lump but I am 54 this year and have been colouring my head with various things since I was 14... I had a lump on my neck at the bottom of my hairline at the back for years. The doc told me it was a gland but it's gone since I stopped colouring...due to having nowt to colour...or it could have something to do with the chemo...I'm never going to know..I might just wait till it grows a bit and have it styled and then decide. Jane you are right.. I look in the mirror and the new me is still a bit strange. Even my shadow looks different... my shape has changed as I have gained a bit of weight and my head shape's changed as well. My beloved grandson calls me nana fluffyhead. Butterflies are a lovely way of putting it...whatever I look like I'm just grateful for everyday at the moment. M
Welcome Applestreet.....My eyelashes are still stubby one year on - but they never WERE lush! What's the serum? Does it Costalota? I'm playing with the idea of low-lights.... but I may stick with the salt & pepper... not sure... the frizz is growing out gradually, so the brllo-pad look is disappearing. John Frieda hair serum helps with the frizz by the way... and Aussie shampoo/cond were recommended (and I like)...
As Ami said - we are emerging (into butterflied or flututerbies) but different from how we were before... big lesson for me was/is to be gentler with myself. So.. will someone please tell me WHY I'm "vaxxing" the hall carpet when I'm not feeling 100% with a cold????
It's really nice to see you on this thread. Another lady on the mend, so congratulations! I'm 2 yrs past chemo but remember well your description. I coloured my hair for years and it was only when it grew back after chemo that I decided to leave it the colour it was as it was such freedom not to have to keep up the colouring. Now I'm grey and I quite like it. It's much softer to my face than before. I've lightened my make-up colours too and look more natural, I think. Much of this thread is learning to adjust to the the new us. Somehow the old us, we ask ourselves, "where did we go?" Hope you are feeling much better now. Do you have any more treatment to do? Sending a hug, Ami xx
Haven't posted on this thread before so I hope I'm not intruding...Ami, I am 3 months post chemo and for the first time today I got out the mascara!!! Drumroll..... I had noticed my eyebrows which I have been inventing for the past six months with brown eyeshadow...have started to reappear, my hair is doing an impression of Judi Dench...not quite as classy but it's doing it's best and I'd forgotten all about my lashes as they fell out in January....welcome back to them..haven't got enough hair to colour yet so brillo grey all the way for me....my friend told me before it looks quite funky...at least I think that's what she said! M
I waited for my eyelashes to grow back after chemo but they came back very stubby and never grew beyond that! Well, I've been using an eyelash serum for over a month now and they've actually got a bit longer! I didn't have much faith in any product claiming to give longer lashes but thought I'd give it a try so I was surprised when I saw some improvement. Watch this space....I'll soon have lashes long as spiders legs!
I've discovered in my family tree that I'm related to a famous explorer! He's my first cousin 6 generations ago and when I mentioned it discovered there's been a TV programme about him. He's the most interesting yet!
There's been an abundance of Butterflies on our Buddleah bush in the last week. I did notice that I haven't seen hardly any over the summer. What I did see when I got up during the night was a fox sauntering down the road, he turned round and round under a street lamp and settled down in the middle of the road. Occassionally his ears would come up and he'd look around and wash his paws. I watched him for about half an hour until he got up and strolled into someones front garden before disappearing into the bushes.
Hope you're all set to have a good weekend, and poor Doz, have you had that Xray yet?
Hugs to everybody, Ami xx
So, if we see a cotton wool "mummie" walking down the street, it'll be Doz!!!!!
Just done a full week (worked Monday)... will be on call over the weekend (and IN briefly Sat for a service with a couple for their babe) and taking the mains ervice Sunday.. then Mon-Fri again.... Sat OFF (at my husband's church day) work Sunday, Mon-Fri again... feels like a lot - might have to try to take some time back. That last week I'm thinking of having the hair low-lighted (low-lit!?) and at the end of the week is my God son's wedding in a Cambridge College chapel, reception in another college Great Hall (13th century) and his mum has asked me to be her support, so I might end up on top table! Eeek! Trying to work out what to wear!
have a good day EVERYONE... group hug <<<<< xxx >>>>>> Jane
Hi all just caught up with posts.Love the butterfly Jane and glad your silence did you good but try not to get bogged down doing too much or you will be needing another break.
Ami I too have been tidying out and have got rid of stuff that has been in cupboards for years and never used so had to be ruthless ha ha .
Doz you are def a walking disaster I think we need to wrap you in cotton wool to protect you so sending some virtual for you to use and hope it helps xxx
Emmy you must be getting soo excited now hope you are feeling better
Stella Yvonne Carolyn and anyone I may have missed take care and hope you are all okay love and hugs Janice xxx
I have been practising the words NO... NO... NO and i'm struggling to recognize it 🙂 I do usually say no if i'm rang at home but when your already there its hard to say the dreaded word.. so I think I need more practise!!!
I went to the minor injuries unit at a hospital close by after taking Vikki for her meds review only to find the xray dept shuts at 5 and it was 10 past 😞 so i'll go again tomorrow.. our Dr saw it when she was sorting Vikki out and said to get it checked so I will.........
Dont work too hard Jane and yes Stella I think I do have the ability to thrive on misshaps 🙂 I get so many its becoming the norm!!!
Take care flutterbys i'm off to watch the Paralympics Opening Party 🙂
Doz, well done to Vikki, eating out and back to some semblance of normality with everything. Work doesn’t sound good. Can you put yourself first sometimes or risk having burn out, and that‘s all you need right now! Your foot sounds bad, have you had the Xray done yet? Bet you can’t wait now for the indulgence at Ragdale, but take care and look after yourself beforehand or you might not be fit!!
Emmy, I do hope by now you’re feeling better. If you’ve been taking antibiotics, you should be feeling more like yourself. I do hope so..…jumping up and down, in fact…. ‘cos time’s marching on for Aus and you want to be well and full of beans for that!!
Jane, you should be much rested and invigorated after your silence, well done, you certainly deserve it! And after that masterpiece you’ll be changing career and become an artist if you’re not careful!!!
Stella, are you still waiting patiently for your job share?
Yvonne, hope things are looking up for you and your family.
Janice, have a very happy birthday!!
Hope you’re OK Carolyn
Have been having further clearout at home and letting some furniture go, so had a busy week. Love to all, Ami xx
We've had this conversation before Doz - stand in front of the mirror and practise : "no" "no" "NO"
I know, easier said than done!
I couldn't survive 2 mins in silence AT HOME - but when no-one's speaking - it's a breeze! If you need something you just ask for it, rather than do a pantomime, so it works OK.
Talking of working OK... my only colleague aroudn this week is now on compassionate leave! And I'm doing my best not to work overtime... almost managing..... only seen 3 patients so far this week though! Meetinged out!
Oh Doz, why does it always happen to you! The job situation does sound awful but you've got to look after yourself as well. I know it sounds awful and don't mean it in a horrible way but perhaps you should be more selfish where works concerned?? But saying that you always sound so positive, perhaps you thrive on it! Take care of that foot.
PS Happy birthday Janice - have a lovely day. x
Finally a morning when I have the chance to sit and catch up 🙂
WELL DONE JANE... Love the flutterby 🙂 I dont know how you managed it but good girl my admiration to you 🙂 I had some nudules removed from my vocal chords about 20 yrs ago and the consultant told me no talking for 2 weeks!!!!!!!!! I'd only been home a couple of hours after being discharged and the phone rang...... need I say more!!! ha ha!!!
Stella thats good news about your job share I hope it gets sorted quickly so you can take advantage of the extra time off....
Talking of the NHS funding dilemma... its really not good news for employees 😞 more wards are closing where I work yet they have just spent millions on the site.. staff are being sent all over the place and our ward which is a specialist neuro rehab centre should be running on 16 beds 2 off which are allocated to amputee patients is now housing 22 patients the 6 extra being elderly 😞 which is really sad as we hav'nt got the staff to properly take care of their needs and the staff we do have are going down like flies on sick... I have done 3 extra shifts in the past 10 days and its not good 😞 I ended up doing monday and tuesday as extra's yesterday being a double... and boy did I know about it last night 😞
I had a wee accident (well it has been a few weeks since the last one!!!) I had taken Vikki shopping when I got a call to say could I do the late as someone had rang in sick... leaving only 3 to take care of 22 patients 3 being very poorly so I was rushing about as Vikki was sat in the car (she still has'nt got the ability to walk far) and I cockled over a very tiny kerb... OMG the pain was dreadful.. it certainly stopped me in my tracks 😞 so had to call it a day so I could get home and put some ice on it... only to rush home to find a message saying the girl who had rang in sick had now decided to go in??? Ankle blew up like a balloon and by monday when I did have a shift it was black blue yellow and purple but not too painful so in I went and managed the shift but when I got home my foot had taken on the shape of my shoe 😞 yesterdays double shift was soooo busy I was going to get our Dr to refer me for an xray but we were too busy so today I will be putting my feet up and not wearing shoes!!! I will get for an xray if I can as its still bruising round my toes.... Oh the joy!!!!!!
Daniels in Ibiza this week with Megan so we will have all next week to catch up before he goes back a week on friday then its Ragdale woohoo... which cant come soon enough 🙂
I hope everyone's well and Em is chilling before the big event 🙂 love to each and everyone of you as always hugs and spoons if required 🙂 flutter gently girlies and Happy Birthday Janice xx
Afternoon ladies - just caught up with all the posts.
Glad you enjoyed your week Jane - still don't know how you did it though!
Yvonne, I'm so pleased for you, Hope the balance is improving. Did you enjoy London?
Emmy, hope you're feeling better this week, holiday countdown, not many sleeps to go now.
So glad Dan made it home Doz, can just imagine the excitement in your house. Shame you had to cancel your holiday but I hear Ragdale is really good - you deserve lots of pampering.
They interviewed for my jobshare partner last week so hopefully won't be too long now.
Carolyn, Janice, Ami - hello to you too.
Woo! It's taken me ages to catch up! Yvonne, I'm SO pleased for you... regarding physio, my daughter is one, and reckons I'm not safe on my pins, so she told me to stand on one leg WITH MY EYES SHUT (and then swap legs)... clearly having something like a kitchen work-surface to grab on to helps.. but the research evidently shows that the improvement is more rapid if you close your eyes... I think a few flutterbies tried it, and it made me giggle to think of a whole load of ladies up and down the country standing with eyes shut and wobbling! I pass it on... might be worth a try
DOZ - DAN BACK! Woo hoo! Enjoy - every moment.... so pleased..
Yes, I did keep mum (more or less) The few words I spoke were "appropriate" I was told! And I had a fab time. It's actually VERY self-indulgent not to talk - my OH came as well, and I knew it would all be strange to him, but his welfare or how he was coping was nothing I could do anything about - he was the responsiiblity of HIS mentor person... I had no-one else to consider apart from myself - what a luxury is that!? Anyway, as a person who has no sense of perspective, nor any ability to draw, I was amazed to find myself "playing" in the art room all week! The first thing I thought of doing was a flutterby.... and it all developed from there! Much of what I made went in the bin. Some of it WILL go in th bin, but some of it taught me something about myself or myself in relation to God.. and it was just FUN. I'm astonished! My bestest friend is into modern art in a big way, so just for fun I painted her a spoof modern art picture - a thick black line, a thinner brown line going across the page and a white circle... we put it in a clip frame and took it up last night and she's thrilled and it's on the wall!!!!! I was only taking the Michael!
Anyway flutterbies, hopefully you can see something of my flutterby.... great to be back
Em - how's your sore throat? I thougth I was going down with a cold while I was away, but it seems to have passed.
Back to work tomorrow... I haven't read emails from work yet, but I see from the title of some that we've got to save more money from our budget again... Hard times in the NHS...
Hi lovely flutterbys! Quick one today as still a bit poorly! So glad for you Yvonne it is scary being back in the waiting room though I did behave this time no giggling in the corner! I smiled when I went for my mammo just thinking of all the women here being in the corner and they did promise not to look too!Back to Scotland Janice you will be adopted by the place! I am sure you will enjoy time with the boys, enjoy they grow so fast! Doz you nutter you are probably running around like a loon then wondering why you are tired? So happy for you all and I hope Dan has a lovely holiday with his Megs, and I am glad to hear Vik is putting her head above the parapet a little good for her!
I wonder if Jane managed it? I thought about her as I had such a sore throat this week and it hurt to swallow or talk funny really it is the worst of things when you want to! I have been on anti b's and should be good to go as the soreness has now gone but finishing the tabs as they are a course. ami I am so lucky they have been really good at physio and I have the O.T coming to the house next week to see if they can help further with any aids, I could not go on Wednesday as I did not want to give anyone this sore throat thing and staying well away from hospital today as you have to sit on chemo ward, I would hate to be the bringer of nasties to all the bods having treatment! Carolyn I hope you and Lewis have had some really lovely times together this holiday and yes as ami says the w word must be coming up for you so enjoy the rest of the hols while you can! Whoop!Whoop! yes the time has rolled around quickly for Oz two weeks Monday girls and I will be on my way! my friend is beside herself and I am not much better!
To Jane, Stella, and any other flutterby I haven't named my apologies as my head isn't on straight today! I am still a bit dopey but then what's new? Take care all and group hug Em xxxxx
Thats brilliant news Yvonne scar tissue can be a begger at times but in your case such a relief hope the letter does'nt take too long to come Janice is right Physio should help with the balance problem...the trip to London is just what you need hon enjoy 🙂 x
Janice Hope you have a lovely time in Scotland it does'nt matter what the weather does if your happy 🙂 though I hope it stays fine for you all x
Ami Wow what a good result and amount bless them.. having a lovely time with my offsprings Daniel came to the rescue and took Vikki to stay with thier Dad (wonders never cease) for a day and night so for the first time in 6 months I had a day off 🙂 though I worked a late shift it was strange but so enjoyable coming home and not having to do anything 🙂 I had a bath and was going to open a bottle but... I fell asleep on the sofa ha ha!!! first time i've been on it since Vik's came home so Tues night it was MINE 🙂 we met up at an Italian restaurant last night and had a lovely meal Vikki managed well though we didnt stay long after the meal but it was the first time she's eaten out since february 🙂 an achievement in itself 🙂 Daniel and Meg fly off to Ibiza on friday for the week then the week after i'm on annual leave so I will get to see them before he goes back for a few days.... not thinking about that yet!!
I should have been flying to Mallorca next week but I have now finally cancelled and re-booked to go next year, looking forward to our stay to Ragdale Hall it will do us both the power of good 🙂
Hope Jane is keeping Mum 🙂 in the nicest possible way of course!!
Em not long to go now woohoo 🙂 Oh I bet your excited 🙂
Well flutterbys love to everyone hoping all is well with you all and hols are being enjoyed...
Flutter gently hugs and love as always xxxxxxxhugxxxxxxx
Hi Yvonne, I’ve been thinking of you and hoping that all went well and I’m very, very pleased to hear all is OK….you must be so relieved and happy! The nerves can recover somewhat I think after chemo but it takes time, so hopefully you might see some improvement in future. Now you can go to London and enjoy it! Yippee! Doz, what a lovely idea to keep Daniels arrival quiet for Vikki. What a wonderful surprise. I bet your heart was singing!I’ve been a bit busy so my post is short, but love to both you flutterbys and I’ll post again soon. Oh! My relative had an open day with garage sale and teas and cakes. I donated lots of good stuff to put towards raising funds for our Cancer Hospital. They raised £600!Hope all is well with everyone, Love Ami xx
Hi Yvonne soo glad all seems ok enjoy your time in London we are off to Scotland so no doubt it will be rainy but we see grandsons so weather doesn't really bother us.Hope all you other lovely ladies enjoy the weekend have fun and some me time love and hugs Janice xxxxx
p.s maybe some physio would help with your legs and help improve balance xxx
Well had ultra sound and biospy, while doiging ultra sound they said they wanted a sample cuz scar tissue and i think she ment cancer looks the same on the scan and it was best to be safe and take a sample, then my dr came in and said he thoughrt it was scar tissue. So iam going with that outcome, dr offered me a choice of another app for the results or a letter in the post, so iam waiting for a letter , so i wont have to go back to the hospital untill Arp 2013. so i feel iam now free. even tho my balance is soooo bad, dont really know how iam going to deal with it as its the chemo that has damaged my nerves in my legs Well iam so glad idont have to worry what was under my armpit.
going to london this weekend (bit hot down south)
Doz Can just see you going to the front door and trying to keep your screams of joy in so that your daughter has a great surprise . Enjoy your time with your family xxxx
big group hug to one and all xxx
How good it is to have my son finally home 🙂 he is looking so well... the surprise for Vikki was amazing tho I had to keep from screeching myself when I answered the door in case she saw him before he surprised her... and surprise her he did 🙂 she was in bits in the nicest possible way 🙂 happy days!!! Had a really good catch up with him on sunday over a delicious Indian meal 🙂 today he is taking Vikki to stay with their father tonight (wonders never cease) but a change of scenery will do Vik's the power of good and I have the house to myself 🙂 a chilled bottle of wine is ready in the fridge for when I come home from work tonight 🙂
Yvonne I hope everything went well for you yesterday.. tho if its typical you will be waiting for the results so if thats the case I hope your not waiting too long hon xxxxx
We had a visitor in the garden yesterday a huge white Cockatoo...... it was screeching its head off... for an hour my neighbour and myself were trying to coax it down from the apple tree where it was happily munching away but with no success.. so on my way to work I called in at the Pet shop in the village to see if it was one of theirs but they said its been around for a few weeks and they dont know where its from? so I guess its living in the wild?? Tho Vikki called me at work to say it was back in our garden most of the afternoon so I may catch it yet? Pet shop said they would take it in if we did so we are all on alert now 🙂
I hope everyone is well and life is treating you to some happy days 🙂
love and hugs as always flutter gently Girlies xxxxxxxxxxxhugxxxxxxxxxx
Yvonne massive hug on its way.I will be holding hands Monday and hope everything goes okay thinking of you and glad you can tell us flutterbys as you seem to want to protect your family love Janice xxxxxtried to post yesterday but don't know if it went so if this is duplicated means you have extra hugs xx
Yvonne massive hug on its way.I will be holding hands Monday and hope everything goes okay thinking of you and glad you can tell us flutterbys as you seem to want to protect your family love Janice xxxxx
I'm sooooooo excited 🙂 just had a call from Daniel he's sat in the waiting room in Dubai and he got a message over the PA system to go to check in...... they got him on an earlier flight YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY he will be back home tonight!!! I hav'nt told Vikki i'm going to get her to answer the door when he gets here... you will hear her screech all over the UK 🙂 and I'm probably going awol for a couple of days ha ha!!!
Ami i'm so glad pooch is still ok bless him and dont forget 60 is the new 50 age is just a number 🙂 I feel 21 again today and i've got butterflies!!!! Hope the BP is steady when you go back think calm before you go in 🙂
Em i'm sure this goes without saying 🙂 not long now hon 🙂
Janice so nice to hear your feeling much better lovely 🙂
Jane Mull is soooo beautiful I hav'nt been for quite some time but its a magical place to relax and recoup so you enjoy 🙂
Yvonne love and healing thoughts on the way and a hand always available take good care x
Sorry its short and sweet but i'm a tad preoccupied today 🙂 love hugs and good wishes to you all have a lovely weekend I think I might 🙂 xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxhugsxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx