68.5K members
1.2M posts
cancel
Showing results for 
Search instead for 
Did you mean: 

help am overwhelmed

4 REPLIES 4
ladybowler
Community Champion

Re: help am overwhelmed

Bev

 

That is a great post to read and is obviously helping you lots to move forward.  You are so right the little stuff does not matter any more and the big stuff can be dealt with bit by bit

 

Sending you hugs

 

Helena xxx

Bev H
Member

Re: help am overwhelmed

Thank you for your supportive replies. Am steadily working towards agreed hours, am lucky to be able to say at work when have reached my limit.

Have always been the dooer of the family. Starting the moving forward course has helped, lovely bunch of ladies. Have sorted British gas - swopped supplier am now paying less than my original payment with them!

Mum moves next weekend, so that will be one more thing sorted.

Am learning not to stress about the little stuff and to tackle the big in small chunks.

love and thanks to all xxx

 

 

Jobey68
Member

Re: help am overwhelmed

Hi Bev, that's what we are here for , hope you are feeling a bit better having got that off your chest! 

I think we just view the world differently after our diagnosis, I don't have the same level of patience and empathy for trivial issues thats for sure! We underestimate just how much the emotional side of it all just wears us down too.  

3 years on I'm healthy and content but I tire so much easier now and have had to learn that I just physically can't do everything I want to in a day, I have to pace myself or I end up quite tearful but I know now when to say enough is enough the house won't collapse if I don't mop the floors today! 

 

You have a lot going on so be kind to yourself and don't try to deal with it all at once, do you have any siblings who can help with your mums move? , I don't know about you but I've always been the one who sorts the whole family out and it was exhausting enough before BC! 

 

Hope your cuppa did the trick ️Xx Jo 

ladybowler
Community Champion

Re: help am overwhelmed

Bev

 

I was going to say and breathe but you did xx 🙂 🙂

 

I agree with you, you are being too hard on yourselfand you are not letting anyone down, have you thought about perhaps having a chat with your line manager to reduce your hours for a couple of months to allow you to build yourself back up. We think because we are finished active treatment that things should return to normal and forget what exactly we have been through, major surgery and treatment.

 

You are amazing with all the other stuff you are having to deal with as well and I take my hat off to you.

 

Is the british gas payment increasing because they have assessed that you might use more than they first assessed you on.  I am on a fixed tariff until August this year and in that time they have changed my payments twice, once to dramatically decrease it and then last month put it back up to what it was at the beginning because they reckon I will use more electricity, we have storage heaters and they will be going off shortly so I know it is going to change again when they realise we are not using as much.

 

Sending you a huge hug xxxx

 

 

Bev H
Member

help am overwhelmed

Hi having a bit of a blip at the moment - treatment all finished Jan. Started back at work in March. In a different role - pre breast cancer nurse/manager at dementia care home - post treatment now working as activity coordinator, less stress, more fun, 16 flexible hours a week, in same home. Strange going back like being new but not. Staff all supportive on return. Didn't realise how tired I would feel, job not physically demanding but guess mentally switched on, bit different from being out and about being ladies what lunch!

Am probably my own worse enemy as expect a lot of myself. Don't want to let anyone down, not good at easing myself back in gradually, putting myself under pressure. Very good at giving out advice to take it one step at a time - bit deaf when it comes to listening to that advice!:>

Also Mum has early to mid stage dementia, is isolated where she is so in process of moving her to sheltered accommodation 5 minutes from me. Huge upheaval for her she has lived in her house for nearly sixty years, but is very isolated where she is, finding it very hard to cope with her condition, very different when its family.

Had a heated discussion with British Gas yesterday - on fixed rate til aug 2019, but received letter to say payment going up next month grrrrrrrrrr. Just feels like there is always something.

On a plus am starting moving forward course next week.

Am now stopping to take a breath and make a cuppa. Thank you for being here to rant to. x