Mum newly diagnosed - waiting driving us nuts!

I took mum (69) for her call back from mammogram Tuesday before last when I wasn’t very scared as she’d had a call back years ago with cysts. Now it’s her other breast and thought it was probably something similar. Although she hadn’t felt any lumps etc she had an idea there was something else and kind of knew she would have a biopsy …and indeed she did after a scan showed up a cluster of fibrous tissue. Again with her appointment a week later with my uncle I wasn’t too worried as the doctor said she didn’t think it would be anything to worry about, but the biopsy was just to make sure. She was in total shock with the result and so was I when my uncle rang me. I felt really awful that I wasn’t there with her. It’s taking mum (and the rest of us) a while to come to terms with and it’s the waiting for the next tests which are something to do with injection of dye (think could be MRI scan after reading bits and pieces?) I think to see if the cancer has spread. She’s waiting for a call this week for the next appointment. It’s the not knowing if the cancer has spread, what type of BC it is and the treatment. But my uncle said it wasn’t aggressive (hope so much it isn’t) and they’d mentioned radiotherapy. I love mum so much, like most of us do with mums and I want to be there for her. I know it’s going to be a difficult time - I also work and have 3 children of my own and we lost my dad 7 years ago, which mum took ages to cope with. I told the older 2 children yesterday about it and they cried, but not really knowing how ill she’s going to be. It’s difficult to get my head around that she’s going to be so ill and yet at the moment she doesn’t look ill at all! I keep having a cry now and then, sometimes at work, but know I need to be there for mum when I can. Sorry for going on, but I think I’m going to need this forum to help me get through the times ahead. Mum’s not very computer literate, but I keep trying to get her on the internet - think this is what she’s going to need too.

Hi Sackson

I am sorry to read about your Mum’s diagnosis, you have come to the right place for support and shared experiences, in addition please feel free to call our helpline for practical and emotional support on 0808 800 6000. Lines are open weekdays 9-5 and Saturday 10-2, our team are here for you and your Mum.

Take care

Lucy

Ring the help line, they will be very helpful and supportive. However, when your mum got the diagnosis she sould have, at the very least, been told who her breast care nurse is. Usually they are there in the consultation room when people get the news, and your mum will have been given contact details, and encouraged to contact the BCN with any worries, questions. Try to find out, because this person should be able to answer most of the questions you now have. My thoughts are with your mum and family. Being in the dark is the worst bit, so be reassured, once your mum knows what her treatment plan is you all will feel more in control.

Hi 

 

I’ve come to this post a bit late I’m afraid. So you might have had your questions answered already.

 

Firstly, the dye. I can only think that this is a sentinal lymph node biopsy. Usually performed under a general anaesthetic. I had one at the same time as my mastectomy. If I’m right, they will inject (relatively painless) a small piece of radioactive material into the surface layer of breast tissue. Then, while your mum is unconscious (under the anaesthetic) they will inject a blue dye into the lump or fibrous tissue. They see which lymph nodes the blue dye runs into, then remove them. They will be examined in the path lab to see if any micro cancer cells have gone into them. I had three nodes removed, but only one had cancer cells in it. If there are more, they will probably suggest they remove them all (axilliary node clearance). This will stop the cancer spreading. They might remove the fibrous tissue/lump, and a wide margin of healthy tissue. When this has been examined in the path lab, they will know if it is cancerous, what kind of cancer it is, and be able to give you all a treatment plan. The waiting really is the most awful part.

 

If she does have breast cancer, after her surgery, when there is a treatment plan in place, you will all feel more in control. Your mum might not feel ‘ill’ throughout the treatment, but she will become tired easily and need emotional support too. Keep using these forums for support, help and information. Please do not GOOGLE as most of what is on there is either out of date or wrong. Just use this site, or the Macmillan site or the Cancer Research site.

 

Wishing you and your mum well, and hoping things aren’t as bad as they seem right now.

 

Poemsgalore xx