Clarissa - you ARE affected!!!! When one of us gets cancer, the whole family gets cancer. Everyone has to live with it, deal with it, cope with it, get fed up with it, not cope with it, laugh about it, cry about it....
I agree with everything Lavender has said (she's a wise old owl!)(sorry, Lavender, less of the old!)
Your mum and you will need your dad in respite care during treatment too. Chemo affects us all differently, but the first week after the treatment can be hard.
My cancer, 2 years ago, brought my daughter and I so much closer. She, bless her, thought of things like taking a day off before my mastectomy to go shopping for bras with pockets (and made it a fun girly day out)...She was just quietly there and thoughtful, and I cannot find the words to say how much I appreciated that.
Sounds like your mum is lucky to have you on her side...
The best thing your Mum has on her side by the sound of it is you!
Finding this site is going to help you both such a lot.
The information side of things is the best, it helps you with questions to ask as you go along.
The Helpline is brilliant, and can cope with anxiety and crying if needed!
The forums are great for practical advice, encouragement, humour and getting to know people.
I was diagnosed nearly 3 years ago at age 65 with Grade 3 Stage 1 breast cancer and had to have a mastectomy. I have other health problems and they thought that chemo might be too difficult for me but I got through it, wasn't fun, but not as bad as I expected either.
Get your Mum signed in with one of the month by month groups on here if she does do chemo, even if you do it for her, it can be such an encouragement.
Good to hear that your Dad has got respite care fixed, they are both going to need help with things as she goes through treatment.
Have a hug, sounds as if you need one
So sorry to hear your Mums diagnosis, you are bound to be worried, that is completely normal. Be assured that your Mum and your Dad should get the best care and if you have any questions, this is the place to be, don't Google as some info is not up to date and you can scare yourself silly! Just be there for your Mum, hold her hand, cry together, be strong together, that's all you can do and you can beat this crappy disease!! Thinking of you and your family, and if you want to rant that's fine too x
so pleased i have found this site! my mum is going for a masectomy on Tuesday following a diagnosis of type 3 breast cancer last friday....possibity of chemo she is 66 and fab. however my dad has early demeitia (spelling) and has to go to respite on sunday, so mum gets some recovery time. this feels like a double blow i am devestrated about my mum and feel so helpless for my dad and then sooo bad for having these feelings as if im affected...................to be honest i dont know how i feel other than not normal xx