Hang in there honey, it WILL get easier for all of you.
When I was first diagnosed my sister and I just broke down on the telephone (she lives in US, me here in UK). I was sure I was dying and she was right there with me. About a week later she went out with a friend and they started making a list of everyone they knew who had had bc and was still hale and hearty years later. As the list got longer and longer, she felt a little better, and on the telephone that night she said "I'm not burying you yet!!!". Your mum must appreciate your support, but she won't want you to blow your opportunities around school. Please don't google--please try to do your work as well as you can. We've all been there, many of us on both sides of the story--yours and your mums, and we do feel for you. The treatment's no picnic, but if you've been reading around, you'll see it's do-able, even chemo. A woman on here once said "worry is NOT preparation", I try to bear that in mind when I get scared. Chin up, you will get through it, and so will your mum.
I told my college today - but just the councillor for my year. He has said that he is going to contact each of my teachers individually to let them know that I'm having issues and they are all going to extend my deadline. It's still going to be hard, I've only been given an extra week and still feel like I could break down haha. It's not fair!
i really don't want to muck up this oppurtunity at college but it's so hard because I'm coming home everyday and being so tired cause I'm spending my whole day stressing about life and my mum and everything else. And then when I'm home I'm spending as much time as I can with my mum to support her.
Please do tell your college - they will then be sympathetic if you are struggling to keep up. My daughter was 17 when I was diagnosed, and did badly in one of her AS's that summer - all her marks up to then had been good. The school appealed her mark and she was re-graded upwards on the basis of my cancer.
Found out today that my mum has to have a test tomorrow where they put blue dye into her blood stream so that they can perform X-rays on her body to find the lymphnodes under her arms. Then on Wednesday she will have an operation under general aneasthetic where they will remove some of the lymphnodes to find out if they are containing any cancer cells.
Fingers crossed that it hasn't spread. Will keep people up-to-date just incase anybody out there is worried like i am and i can offer support to.
Thanks for your comments too, it helps so much to hear from a mum's point of view - i can relate it to my mum.
Thanks to you too Maggie, you sound a lot like my mum. Shes one of the strongest people i know, and everyone who has messaged her has said she is going to kick cancers butt hahaha.
I'm just scared for the process, and hope im not kept in the dark about any of it so that my mum has to take on all the stress herself.
I will take your advice and talk to her about it!
Thanks Angie, i appreciate the support. I have private messaged her, its incredibly helpful to know that other people understand exactly what you're going through!
Thank you very much for your comment xxx
Hi my son is 19, stiff upper lip and all that and has broken down twice on me. He is absolutely petrified that I'm going to die.
I really thought he was coping because although I had mastectomy and currently having chemo, I don't feel that I'm your typical cancer patient, I've kept my hair, no sickness just nausea and am a strong person, who just copes.It's just me and him, always has been so I suppose we have a friendship/closeness rather than mum/son.
I have been strong for all my family, haven't broken down in front of them at all, mainly because I feel confident with myself and my treatment plan. I also have to Remember that not everyone dies with this disease, so I'm going with the flow.
I'm in a better position than your mum at the moment because I'mhalfway through treatment, this does make it easier to deal with. Once your mum knows her journey she will sit down and discuss with you. Once you are informed you become stronger honest... It's the not knowing that sends us into a dark place in our minds.
Please honey talk to mum, let her know how you feel. Once she knows she will always involve you. My son felt excluded, no one talked to him, thought it was all secrets between me my mum and sister, not him or grandad he felt were included. I just felt it was a woman thing and he would feel awkward to discuss with me. When I got my false boob to put inside my bra, I asked him how it looked, his reply was a yeah ok matter of fact so I thought I would leave the boob talk for friends instead. I got it so wrong, he was interested he was trying to be brave for me and grandparents and the pressure was too much.....hence the meltdown!
Find a good friend to share your concerns with, because you won't always want to share with mum for fear of upsetting her, maybe someone at college whose own mother went through BC. It helps to know how mum will be feeling with side effects etc....Do Not!!!! Listen to anyone that spouts on about someone they knew had cancer and died, and it was awful and they suffered.... Your mum is not them, she is not terminal, she has a condition that will be treated and she will be your friend for many many years.
Remember the forum is a great soundboard for family too so use it,
my daughter is 23 and she was the same as you, whatever you might be thinking i'm guessing has gone through her mind too.
its ok to be upset, thats normal, dont try and keep it to yourself, letting it out will help even if its just on here, there are lots of people to listen and chat to.
as for the treatment, mum will just be starting to find out what she is going to get, and she will be looked after all the way by you and the rest of your family as well as all the medical professionals.
its a very scary time, for anyone involved, but you've come to the right place for support for yourself and for you to support mum.
i had a mastectomy on 5th march, and my daughter had to travel to visit for just 1 week(550 miles) but she is in it with me every step of the way, as i'm sure you will be.
if you would like to chat to my daughter she is on this site username katiesupportingmum you could private message her, she might be able to tell you things that us mums can't.
good for you taking the plunge to come on here, hope you get all the help that you need.
big hugs to you,
Hi everyone, I'm 18 years old and found out last monday that my mum has been diagnosed with stage 2 breast cancer. At the moment, i feel like i don't know enough but i know that she has to have a mysectomy and shes having an operation in 2 days to find out whether its spread or not.
My mum and dad keep telling me that hopefully she won't have to have chemotherapy but i've read on here about people having chemo when they have just stage 1 breast cancer.
I'm absolutely terrified. I am putting on a brave face for the whole family, and then on Saturday night i just broke down into tears infront of my boyfriend and felt like i could just crawl up and die.
My mum is my best friend and i really need to have an understanding of whats going to happen so i can deal with it better.
Also, i haven't been concentrating on my work as much, i don't know if i should tell my college or not.
Thank you x