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3 months on... what now?

11 REPLIES 11
delly
Member

Re: 3 months on... what now?

Hi BrigetJones

Forgive me, I'm not wishing to appear rude or ignoring of you. I soo hope your op went well yesterday, that you're comfey, and it heals quickly. You didn't explain what a Braxton implant is?

Amy - Hope you may be feeling better today? Here's that link to a post I mentioned. Sorry it's a bit long.

https://forum.breastcancernow.org/t5/Public-Archive/How-do-you-all-cope/m-p/1144479

Keep kicking that butt girls. Lots of love, delly  xxxx

delly
Member

Re: 3 months on... what now?

My dear Amy

So, besides it being very early days, you're still on a post op "softie" filler and soft post-op bra. You'll feel a lot better, not just given time, but also having a proper fitted prosthesis and bra. Other people may not agree with me, but one of the things I did, was to just NOT LOOK AT MYSELF, especially topless. I'd seen enough immediately day after op and broke down in sobs in the ward bathroom when I "forced" myself to look. And that was still with a dressing on. After that, I just didn't stand and scrutinise myself in front of a mirror, naked or with underwear on. OR look down at my frontage when in the bath. Just got dressed and undressed without looking. I didn't LOOK even more so after my 2nd mast a year later, and STILL DON'T. I don't need to remind myself, or want to. Other women? Some can look and grow used to how it looks. But that isn't me, and maybe not you. It isn't weakness, it's whatever suits a person best to better cope. We aren't all the same.

If you're still struggling, get in touch with your BCN and tell her, talk to her. She has sooo much experience of this with 1,000's of other women she's helped. See what she suggests. But PLEASE don't struggle on your own. Hey?? Promise me please darlin'.

I feel so much for you all, can't tell you. It's a ******g PIG this BC, or any Cancer, or any major disease, disability.

If I could cure it by LOVING it all away, I would. Here's a start!!! >> ❤️ ❤️ ❤️   

Delly xxxxxx

 

delly
Member

Re: 3 months on... what now?

Hi Amy

You've been very quiet on your other thread. Is that because you're so upset and struggling? Or perhaps conscious of Peony's plight? Or my posts seem to be dominating a lot of it's space at the moment?

It is not a very nice outcome for Bridget at all. It's very, very unfortunate that this "problem" has happened for her. But there are 1,ooo's of women on this Forum who've all sorts of varieties of successful recons. Immediate or delayed. 1.000's. But that's NOT the part you're struggling with at the mo'. 

You've said you feel glad to have just got rid of the diseased boob. That's a great attitude. You've have to remember, you are "Grieving and Mourning" your loss. Yeh, it's horrible, isn't it. How long are you post-op now? 2 wks? It's going to take some time to come to and reach better terms with it, and feel more comfortable with and about that loss. You WILL get more used to it, sweetie. I think last you said you didn't know if you'd be able to have your proper prosthetic fitting, because your wound site was still very swollen. Did you have that done, or not and are still using a post-op foam one and a "soft" post op bra?

Amy - I'm happy to pm you my no's. so you can give me a call and we can have a better chat, if you like. 

Delly xxxx 

Amy1988
Member

Re: 3 months on... what now?

Bridget 

I'm sorry to hear that. That's what worries me about reconstruction, is complications but, it's a risk I'm willing to take just so I feel a bit more 'normal'. Just focus on getting better now and like you said, at least you might be able to have more of a say about what you want and get the best result next time. We'll both hopefully have new breasts by the end of this year lol. I hope it goes well on Sunday 

 

 

Delly

I'm really trying to not get too upset about my breast but its difficult. I think it hit me, when I put on a pretty post surgery bra, but, I didn't feel good in it. I don't miss my old breast because I knew it was riddled with cancer and it would of killed me if I didn't have it removed. But it's very unusual just  being flat on one side now! But I'm going back to see my surgeon in October to discuss reconstruction, so I will  just have to make the most of my prosthetic breast for now lol. How are you? Like I said before, I'm useless at keeping up with everything!

delly
Member

Re: 3 months on... what now?

Hi Bridget  -  Braxton? I've heard the name. Does it refer to the tissue matrix "sling" that supports the implant under the skin??

Ohh, that is sooo disappointing for you, ref this area of skin. Did they think the skin had broken down or died, due to a small area of obstructed blood supply, as it had a discoloured appearance And I'm presuming then, that it'll be the same surgeon on Sunday.

Well hope all goes well for you, darlin'. It must feel frustrating, but good it's being dealt with so speedily.

Lots of love to you and everyone, Delly ❤️ xxxxx

BridgetJones
Member

Re: 3 months on... what now?

Thank you Delly for your lovely reply.

I had a Braxon implant but I am not sure if you have seen my reply to Amy, but I am having surgery on Sunday due to an infection.  Oh gosh, back to the drawing board!

I had an area underneath that had never really healed, it was very red/purple and shiny anyway I dared to have a good look with my magnifying mirror at the weekend and decided to make a call, it didn’t look right and lo and behold they think its infected.  It is dead skin that needs to be removed so the implant will have to come out and a smaller one put it (an expandable one) and this will be reviewed in 8 months.  So, maybe by that time I will be in a better position to discuss the new implant then, having already had one that was not suitable.  They were all very surprised that I have not felt unwell or had a fever.  Surgeon was apologetic today (but not his fault in fairness) these things happen, but its a shame we are 3 months on and I was just getting back to normal, now we start again.  Hey ho.  At least I am one of the lucky ones and will be getting an operation.  I did mention to my BCN behind the curtain today that I was not happy with my implant.  But I realise this is one day at a time... sending you lots of love.  Thanks again xx

BridgetJones
Member

Re: 3 months on... what now?

Thanks Amy, really appreciate your kind words, I’m sorry you’re ‘without’ but at least you can confide in your consultant and he seems to have empathy which is nice.  

Guess what though, turns out I have an infection and am back in the operating theatre on Sunday morning!  I’ve had bruising underneath my new breast ever since my op but it hasn’t ever healed like the rest of the area and I could feel a scratch type thing with a tiny bit of blood along it, hardly anything but when I got a mirror under it I can see it is still v red/purple.  I got to see him this morning and they haven’t seen this before or know exactly why this has happened but they are concerned.  It’s dead skin which needs to be removed - hence I will have less skin, this implant now has to come out (!) a smaller, expandable one is going in and then a further op in 8 months.  I’m just processing it all now - they said ‘it’s a good job you phoned’ So, thank goodness I did and maybe in 8 months when I get the chance to re-talk about implants i will be able to say ‘this is more what I want’.  But I need to get thru this now...  We’ll be having the same op around the same time Amy 🙂   Fingers crossed for a good one this time.  I’ll be in a better position then to maybe say ‘I was thinking more of this shape/size.  Oh gosh will it ever end??!!

Sending lots of love and good wishes xx

delly
Member

Re: 3 months on... what now?

Hi, BridgetJones (<<ha ha)

I agree with Amy on your surgeons inability to sympathise, having to hand that "bit" it over to your BCN?!!

I'm so sorry to hear you are unhappy with your new boob. You haven't told us what type of recon you had? Implant or self tissue? I would think that would make a difference to what you "could" or "can" have done further to rectify what you now have and aren't happy with. 

Personally, I would opt to have a different surgeon to do any further work. You could do to be with someone you can "connect" better with for a start, as well as provide you with something better than what you have, if you're so unhappy with it. And yeh, you MAY have to wait longer for it, because of Co-vid, but if it is possible, in this current mad time, no harm in exploring your possibilities/alternatives. Help settle your mind a bit, perhaps? Ask your BCN if she can recommend anyone else, but do it discreetly somehow, because she won't want to upset your current surgeons "feelings"?! If she can't help you, you'll need to ask around, get some recommendations somehow?

Amy - I sooo know what you're feeling, after losing my first and being without, when I'd sooo wanted immediate recon. Even more so, the second one a year later, and being without both for 7 yrs. It makes a huge difference still having one of you own. And yes, you cetainly DO grieve, for that part of your body you lost. Hope you can have your recon soon, flower.

Delly xxxx    

Amy1988
Member

Re: 3 months on... what now?

Aww bless you. I would've been upset too if my surgeon/consultant had treated me like that. I've been lucky with mine, he seems to genuinely care and want the best for his patients, so I feel quite safe with him doing a reconstruction too. I've seen a lot of people are having their reconstruction cancelled too, it must be so frustrating. It's weird how I feel about my breast, I hated it and couldn't care less when they took it. But, its unusual having nothing there now. I'm seeing my surgeon in October to discuss it again, so it gives me something to focus on. I hope you manage to get the results you want, and like you say, we will eventually get there!

BridgetJones
Member

Re: 3 months on... what now?

Thank you for your reply.  It’s a sad situation to be in isn’t it?  I haven’t had to have any follow up treatment, luckily.  So good luck with yours and I am sorry you haven’t been able to have reconstruction yet.  But you will be able to in time.  And then I am sure you will feel better.  You do grieve for your breasts.  It feels like vanity and that silly, its still a part of us, like an arm, a hand, and if it wasn’t right, you would push for better.  I was told yesterday that current ops are not having reconstruction now because of Covid, so I feel bad for that.  My consultant has never once asked me how I feel, am I happy, unhappy so yes, I am veering towards asking for another surgeon if I do push for it.  I’ve cried twice, once at the diagnosis and he just turned round for my BCN and the day of the surgery when he came in to draw on me and I was a wreck and he just said ‘phone the BCN’ thank goodness for BCN’s!!! So yes, its all overwhelming, and a journey.  We will get there! Thank you again for replying.  I wish you well with your treatment and future reconstruction.  Lots of love x

Amy1988
Member

Re: 3 months on... what now?

Hi bridget. Sorry to hear about your situation. I've recently had a mastectomy, but decided against immediate reconstruction because I will having radiotherapy soon. I'm very happy that the tumour has gone, but admittedly, I do get depressed when I look in the mirror now. I saw my surgeon the other day for results and I asked about reconstruction. I said to him, I was worried others would see me as ungrateful for wanting that. Like I was being vain and should just be happy that the tumour is gone. He said to me, that I had every right to be asking and it was me showing signs of moving forward. I think you should definitely push for the outcome you want! We didn't ask to have breast cancer and lose breast/s. If your current surgeon refuses or you don't want them to do it again, maybe you could ask to see another? It's worth enquiring about. Good luck with everything 

BridgetJones
Member

3 months on... what now?

Hi lovelies, new to this forum, so hello

I had a mastectomy (single) in October following screening/biopsies/DCIS.  Despite the shock and upset prior to my op, following my op I have felt OK, accepting of it and trying to get on as best you can; staying positive, etc and I do feel fine.  A bit of disbelief it actually happened!  Took me a long time to look at my new breast (I lost my nipple and had reconstruction) but now I have, and its almost 3 months later, I am really not happy with its shape.  My surgeon is a man of very few words and I’ve felt quite frustrated throughout and in a nutshell, has anyone on here been through similar?  I suppose what I am asking is, has anyone had theirs re-done?  Or requested it to be redone?  I feel like I shouldn’t be asking.  Is this necessary in the current climate?  Am I being vain?  Should I be grateful?  But, bottom line is this is not the breast I want and he says he will do the other one in a few months but I’m not sure i want him to... 

Is it a reasonable request to ask for a better boob?  Thank you x