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If you had or are going to have a mastectomy

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Re: If you had or are going to have a mastectomy

Hopefully your feeling more settled now and we will wear all that lovely underwear once treatment is over and we're back on track positive thoughts really help ,I'm not brilliant using these forums but try my best , as i find them a comfort , I'm waiting for my booking appointment , it feels strange I want it to start so it will finish and hopefully life will return to normal xx
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Re: If you had or are going to have a mastectomy

Hi Melanie Thankyou so much for your reply. You sound so positive. I’ve been really good so far but have had ‘a wobble’ whilst walking through the lingerie in M&S today, wondering if I’ll ever wear nice underwear again! I bought some non wired bras, a support cami & some button front pjs. I guess it’s the time of year as well. I’m not very good with medical things ie drains, and i think I’ve left it too late to get a bag for them, I’ll have a look in Matalan as Trixiladybsuggested.. Thankyou for the tip about a pillow I’ll definately get that. Xx
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Re: If you had or are going to have a mastectomy

I’m new to this forum and have just had a double mastectomy. I haven’t looked into bras yet, I was unsure about styles, plus I wondered if they would ride up if there’s nothing there?

I have secondary breast cancer, and had a very aggressive tumour in my left breast which had stopped responding to letrozol. I’m a bit concerned about the amount of fluid in my drains, instead of decreasing it’s increasing, it has only been 3 days but I was wondering has anyone else experienced this? Plus the area around one of the drains is very itchy, it’s driving me mad! 

Maxi63

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Re: If you had or are going to have a mastectomy

Matalan do lovely little bags for drains £3 xx
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Re: If you had or are going to have a mastectomy

Hi sports bras also available at Asda £7 , T K max £12 ish & Sainsbury's xx
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Re: If you had or are going to have a mastectomy

Stargazer 1 forgot to add the bras you need are soft, sports bras, front fastening ( m&s do one for £25 ). Ideally they need a wide band under the bust , no seams on the cups and wide straps. You’ll also find button front shirts, pj’s and leggings really comfy xx
Member

Re: If you had or are going to have a mastectomy

Hi stargazer 1, I had my mastectomy on 7th Dec and had an immediate reconstruction with implant. My drains are still in place as they are still draining over 50ml per day and my surgeon won’t take them out until they are below 20 for 2 days.

ive had no pain from my surgery at all, a bit of discomfort and tightness but nothing more. The drains are a nuisance but you soon learn to live with them. A drain bag is a must ( I got mine from the cancer research on line shop ). I actually purchased a gift pack of soft velvet heart shaped cushion for under my arm - a godsend - a padded cushion to protect you from the seatbelt, a plain black cord drain bag - very discreet, and an eye mask. There is a Facebook group called Jens Friends who will also send you heart shaped cushions for just the cost of the postage. These are much firmer so I use them whilst I’m sleeping to keep my armpit comfy ( who knew ).

i only take paracetamol and ibuprofen ( and now tamoxifen ) so can still enjoy an occasional glass of wine which has been nice over Xmas.

im allergic to waterproof dressings so have now gone 3 weeks having a strip down wash and washing my hair over the sink. Deep joy today they are trying silicon dressings so tomorrow I’m having my first shower. Suspect my drains won’t come out for another week. Hopefully like me you’ll be amazed how well you feel after the surgery, I stayed in one night because of the reconstruction and low bp but honestly felt I could have come home the same day.

if you have any questions don’t hesitate to ask, stay strong and keep your chin up xx Melanie 

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Re: If you had or are going to have a mastectomy

Thankyou Tili for your reply. I’m currently taking down the Xmas decs in anticipation of being out of action for a while. I’m going shopping on the weekend for pjs & some sports bras as you suggested. I didn’t know about the bag for drains that’s very helpful.xx
Member

Re: If you had or are going to have a mastectomy

Dear Starglazer,  I had a mastectomy 3years ago, with a reconstruction, left hospital with next day with two drains, was suggested I used soft sports bra for a week or so after approximately 5 days of all goes well your drains will be removed you will then be able to shower, this is a bit uncomfortable, however gets better each day. I put my drains in a little bag with a handle as suggested by BC nurses to carry around with me.

Hope all goes well for you, have lots of rest and take good care BRAVE LADY.

BIG HUGS TILI

 

Member

Re: If you had or are going to have a mastectomy

Hi.After previously having bc 5 years ago, a lumpectomy and radiotherapy I have just found out I have another primary cancer in the same breast.  I am having a mastectomy on the 2 Jan with an expander implant. I am actually coping quite well, even though i say this myself!, but i like to be prepared and cannot find any information on what I should wear immediately after the mx? I will have 2 drains fitted, what are these like? what will i be albe to wear when i am home from hospital? how will i shower with the drains? will they just hang there?  Im sorry for so many questions but I need to be prepared for next week xxx

Member

Re: If you had or are going to have a mastectomy

Hi Helen, many thanks for your words. You're the best and not old but pretty wise for sure! Thanks also for your prayer, I'll be thinking about you either and yes, I'll enjoy Christmas and my family.

I wish you and your family a wonderful Christmas and that 2019 be far better than 2018 was 🌲🤗

With love,

Carol
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Re: If you had or are going to have a mastectomy

Hi Jane, thank you! I'll try to enjoy Christmas and I wish you a good one too 🌲🤗
Member

Re: If you had or are going to have a mastectomy

Dear Carol,

 

I echo what Helenann has written. Please don't feel bad. As she said, it's traumatic having any surgery. I will really hope and pray that they have got clear margins. If there had been any chance of my having a lumpectomy instead of a mastectomy then I would have jumped at the chance!

 Try not to worry about the future, and also don't worry about the cost to the NHS for your treatment. We all contribute and I can assure you that I would far rather be still in the position that I was paying for other people's treatment, rather than having to go through it myself. But it is what it is, and thank goodness that we have the NHS.

Please try to enjoy Christmas and I hope you find peace.

 

Love Jane xx

Member

Re: If you had or are going to have a mastectomy

Dear Carol- you don't 'owe' anyone an explanation. What you have been through is VERY traumatic. I'm just so pleased for you that the medical team gave you the choice to try for a lumpectomy (This is still a big operation, so don't feel 'bad' that you haven't had a mastectomy).

I'm glad we were here to give you support and help with our own experiences - it doesn't matter where you're from.
You've obviously had the added stress of all this Brexit stuff to deal with. I really hope it all works out for you and your husband.From what you say I don't consider you a 'guest' here - sounds like you both work hard and as you said pay your taxes etc - so you're just as entitled to treatment under the NHS as anyone - so don't ever feel like 'bad' about it.
Now try and put this to the back of your mind for now, have a good Christmas.
You're only young- in one way much worse for you being diagnosed at such a young age - but with youth on your side hopefully you'll be fit enough to get through any treatment you may need in the future (im 62 so a wise old head hopefully).

I'll say a prayer and light a candle for you over Christmas.
You take good care of yourself- aches and pains will subside as time goes on. Take paracetamol and ibuprofen for now. Much love, Helen😍😍😍xxx

Member

Re: If you had or are going to have a mastectomy

Sorry, one question, does anyone feel pain in the arm and armpit after surgery? It's seems funny, but my armpit, part of my arm and part of my side and back( actually all places sorrounding the surgery area) are so painful and numb! It has been more than one week after surgery and I can't handle this pain anymore. It has been hard to keep my arm touching my side since both are so painful. Sleeping has been horrible too. I asked my BCN the day after surgery and she told me it was normal, but now, many days later, I can't believe it's normal. Maybe they hurt any nerve when they took some lymph nodes? 😥
Member

Re: If you had or are going to have a mastectomy

Hey everybody, It seems like, if I wasn't so unhappy and tearful with mastectomy, they wouldn't give me the choice they said, later, I could have, as the lump wasn't touching my skin. They say now that as I'm small breasted, I'd be better served by mastectomy followed by reconstruction. They didn't realise that I don't care if I have small breasts, I have been always happy with them and mainly, they're part of me. It could be any part of my body and I'd be terrified of losing it anyway. I'm in my early thirties( but I could be 80 and would probably feel as sad as I was) and my family has no cancer history, could you imagine how shocked and scared I was when I was told that I had cancer and they needed to remove my breast with skin and nipple? Even my family thinks the diagnosis is wrong(I know that they only don't want to believe in it). They had never told me I could try lumpectomy and keep my skin and nipple. I know I need to wait for the results, but I'm happy they are at least trying something less traumatic. I had so many worries in my mind with delayed reconstruction that I couldn't have piece. As you all can realise, I'm a foreigner and the BREXIT and it's consequences can affect me drastically. My husband has a good job, it's why we moved to the UK, but if he lost it, how would I finish my treatment? I was scared about being left flat chested for more than one year if I don't know even about my future after March. I was also feeling so ashamed for giving NHS such kind of expenses ( what's crazy since my husband and I pay high taxes, but I feel anyway, like I was being a bad “guest” for your country). Before leaving my country I had all sort of exams to make sure I was healthy, including breast ultrasound, and it was everything fine! How could it have changed so quick? My surgeon told me I was only “out of luck”. Sorry for telling you all all of it, I just wanted to tell it to someone and I hope anybody feel “cheated”(I don't know if it's the right word to express what I mean) because you all gave me so much support about having mastectomy and it ended in a “simple” lumpectomy. It was a surprise for me either.

Jane, I also feel pretty bad about knitted knockers. I asked them the prosthetics and asked as an urgency since they have pull the mastectomy forward. I wrote to them to say how sorry and embarrassed I am as I no longer need them and they were very kind to tell me to keep them and how to make them smaller if it's needed and for me don't worry about have asked for them. :-)

Thanks for giving the chance to talk about it. I didn't tell me family and even my husband about it because I didn't want to make them worrier than they are.



Member

Re: If you had or are going to have a mastectomy

Hi Jane, thanks! I'm happy it wasn't delayed again too. Very relieved without that lump in my body.

I'm glad you're doing well on radiotherapy and even happier that you and your family are having a good time 😃

Thanks for your best wishes, I wish the same for you :-)

Carol xx

PS: I wanna try explain what happened because you all gave me support when I was feeling sorrow and I m very thankful for that :-)
Member

Re: If you had or are going to have a mastectomy

hi Carol Lina,


It is good that you are sounding more positive. I see that you had a lumpectomy rather than mastectomy. I am glad a decision was made with no more delays!

I had my first radiotherapy this morning! I have no effects so far.

Our daughter was back from Uni on Friday, and our son came home from his internship , for the weekend, so we were all together, which made me very happy!! He comes home for the Christmas break this Thursday, so we will have a lovely Christmas, and I must say, I appreciate my family and friends even more, after my diagnosis.


Happy Christmas to you and enjoy your family reunion soon.

 

Love Jane xxx

Member

Re: If you had or are going to have a mastectomy

Jane, is everything ok? Have you started radiotherapy? How does it feel?

Are your children already at home? If yes, I hope you're having a good time and happier now 😃

Carol xx
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Re: If you had or are going to have a mastectomy

Hi Helenann, thank you for your fingers crossed 😄I feel happy for you be feeling like you again 😃

I'll take off my dressing tomorrow and my results after Christmas (or maybe after New year, don't know yet). For now the only thing making me anxious is my family's visit right after Christmas. If anything good came with this journey it's to see my family earlier than I expected. I haven't seen them for three years. I can say, at least for now, that I'm happy 😃

Hope we all have a wonderful Christmas, despite of our journeys 🎄🙌🎄🎁

Carol xx
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Re: If you had or are going to have a mastectomy

Hi Carol -Thanks for posting your update - I've been thinking about you. Great that you were eventually given the choice and well done on geting through the lumpectomy surgery. Don't worry too much about any scar you might have when the dressing comes off - scars fade and you can use all sorts of nice creams and oils to help them fade quicker.

It's quite usual to feel sick after an anaesthetic, I think - I know I felt sick but it soon passes.

I think Asda do some post surgery bra's that are quite reasonably priced - might be worth a look.

When do you go back for your results? Will keep my fingers crossed for you🤞.

I'm doing really well, thanks, starting to feel like 'me' again.

Take care and do keep in touch.

Love, Helen. xxx

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Re: If you had or are going to have a mastectomy

Hi Helena, thanks for asking. At the end my surgeon gave a choice between mastectomy and lumpectomy. I chose lumpectomy and had it on Wednesday. I worked from anesthetic feeling so bad that stayed overnight at hospital. Now I'm relieved for having get rid of the lump and trying not to think about results and about how my breast will look when I have the dressing off. I'm also trying to handle with the numbness ( I barely can feel my side breast, part of my arm and armpit. I don't know if it's normal), the itching is also an issue and sports bra are giving me backache and my ribs are very painful too 😟. At least the pain in the cuts are very soft, which surprised me 😃

What about you, Helena?

I wish you all a good week :-)

Carol
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Re: If you had or are going to have a mastectomy

Hi Carol Lina - How are you doing? Thinking of you.💖xxx

Member

Re: If you had or are going to have a mastectomy

Thank you Carol Lina,

It sounds like you have had similar frustrations to me. I think we just have to accept that we are just one of many many people, so there are bound to be administration errors at times.

 Thank you for your good wishes about my forthcoming radiotherapy. I hope you are right! It will be fifteen sessions, Monday to Friday, but due to Christmas Day, Boxing Day and New Year's Day, it will extend to 10th January.

 They just phoned again yesterday and said they need another scan whilst I hold my breath ( as my breast cancer was left breast and it will protect my heart if I hold my breath during the radiotherapy. I had read up on this, but when they took the scan they told me to breathe normally, and then they said, as I was leaving, that they might call me back if the oncologist decided he wanted another scan with my breath held.). So they asked me to ' pop back' tomorrow for another scan. If it's anything like last time then that will be another four hours out of my day! I don't mind while I am off work, but that is why I have asked them if there is any chance of bringing the appointments forward as I really want to complete them before I go back to work. ( They have said it is really unlikely).

Best wishes

Jane xx

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Re: If you had or are going to have a mastectomy

Hi Jane, that’s a shame you need to travel to have radiotherapy, but I'm glad there's a lot of people willing to take you there (these people make us feel wanted). What happened to your oncologist is irritating. If you need to see him, why have they booked your appointment when he’s not working? They did something similar to me, they first made an appointment with me a few hours before the team met to discuss the results of my MRI, and today I knew my NCB won’t be in my surgery because it will be the day she doesn’t work! The person who makes me feel a bit confident will not be with me. About dignity, since I heard the phrase “you have breast cancer”, taking off my blouse and bra don’t bother me (which would have bothered me much before, since I'm shy). I believe you’ll undergo radiotherapy pretty well, you did well with quemo (hopefully), and will do even better now ;-). When will you start? Will it be 5 days a week?
:-)
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Re: If you had or are going to have a mastectomy

Hi Mai, Thank you for your post. You are really good at articulating the emotions regarding mastectomy, and I always find your posts very comforting.

 

Hi Carol Lina,

Thank you for asking! It was not too bad. Unfortunately, our new radiotherapy unit in our town has been delayed in opening, and opens five days after my last radiotherapy! So it's a forty minute drive- not as bad as some and I have lots of offers of help, though I drove myself today. There was a mix up, and I was supposed to see my oncologist first, but he doesn't work there on a Monday! So I couldn't ask all the questions that I had for him. 

 There were four people in the room, including a young female student and a young man who seemed to be pottering about in the corner! I felt a bit vulnerable and exposed, as only the surgeon and my breast care nurse have seen my scar, and then here I was, lying with my arms up above my head, having measurements taken, and the tattoos placed. You certainly have to surrender your dignity, but I keep telling myself that they see this all the time.

I am anxious to get on with the next stage, but I feel so well in myself now that I hope it doesn't make me feel too tired, especially as I go back to work on 2nd January ( but mornings only until radiotherapy finishes on 10th January)


Jane xx

Member

Re: If you had or are going to have a mastectomy

Hi Jane, how was your appointment?
Community Champion

Re: If you had or are going to have a mastectomy

Janie123, you are doing really well and the fact that you are able to discuss your mastectomy is part of the healing process.  I stuck my head in the sand for a whole year!  I like your image of me galloping off into the distance.  I think that's exactly what are afraid of, metaphorically, after cancer.  We are afraid to move towards a positive horizon and risk stagnating our existence because of it.  With the equine therapy you just interact with the horse but don't ride it so its also suitable for non-riders.  I had a horse in my youth so it's possibly a place I would seek comfort as it has happy associations for me in the past.  I'm sure you'll be able to get back into running soon.  I've been running a few times since finishing treatment but prefer to just do a couple of miles nowadays as I don't want to drain my immune system. xx

Member

Re: If you had or are going to have a mastectomy

Hi Mai,

 

Thanks for your good wishes and I hope you have a wonderful Christmas with your family too. I have always been grateful for my lovely family and wide circle of friends, but goodness, these past seven months have made me appreciate them even more!

I love the imagery of you on a horse, galloping throught the countryside, with a counsellor galloping alongside! 

I always used to find running a fabulous release. Headphones on, wind in my hair, and alone with my thoughts. I have a radiotherapy planning appointment today, and I shall ask if I can start running again. It is almost five weeks, post-mastectomy.

 

Jane xx

Community Champion

Re: If you had or are going to have a mastectomy

Carol Lina, I think it would be a good idea for you to chat with the nurses on here to help you get a bit more clarity on what is happening.  xx

Community Champion

Re: If you had or are going to have a mastectomy

Janie, the best counselling I've received has been equine therapy.  It was great to be in the countryside with a horse and I had to shout for the counsellor to hear me.  That kind of forces the emotion out of you in a strange way.  I hadn't been able to talk about my surgery until recently.  I just couldnt even begin to put it into words before.  I'm sure I'll get there in the end with the decision.  My kids too will be home from Uni soon.  Glad to have been here for you and I hope you have a fabulous Christmas with your family. xx

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Re: If you had or are going to have a mastectomy

Pastasmissus, I'm very glad you can deal so week about being flat. You're blessed. Unfortunately it's complicated for many women. Although I think that my life is more important, I can't feel "normal" about losing any part of me. I "was made completed" and losing any part of my body is very painful to me.
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Re: If you had or are going to have a mastectomy

I forgot to tell you Mai that I'm sorry to here you have issues about reconstruction. Although I'm sure they'll find a good solution for you :-). I know that look at "my new shape" would be a cancer reminder to me too, so I don't want to look at that.
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Re: If you had or are going to have a mastectomy

Thanks Quaggie for your advices. What hard time you had, going through surgery three times :-(. I'm happy that you're feeling well(as much as possible) about this journey!
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Re: If you had or are going to have a mastectomy

Many thanks, Jane, for explaining what DCIS means( what I knew about it was that is still inside of the duct (not invasive tumor). Thanks for clarifying ;-)
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Re: If you had or are going to have a mastectomy

Hi Mai, they told me few things(something that I don't like here is that they don't give us any exam. I hate that, it's supost just to believe in doctors whiteout seeing anything? I didn't even see any picture from my MRI(and he has changed his mind TWICE after seeing the results. How can I trust?). He told me that it's estrogen positive and protein negative (although there's something else which needs to be comforted the more biopsy). He suggested using Tamoxifen for ten years :-(
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Re: If you had or are going to have a mastectomy

Hi Mai

Thank you for posting. I think you are right- I do feel that my trauma has been trivialised. I also feel that I have, on the whole, worked through my emotions by talking with family, friends and ladies on this forum, so I don't feel that I need counselling now, but I needed it at the time. I still have had no follow up to the survey that they sent to me, when I indicated that I was very traumatised by the mastectomy.

 I wish you luck with coming to the right decision. Thank you for the pertinent points you make. I, too,am very grateful to be alive, and I am enjoying life too. So looking forward to Christmas- children home from Uni and the house will be full- that's when I am happiest!!

Best wishes

Jane xx

Community Champion

Re: If you had or are going to have a mastectomy

pastamissus,  I can keep my mind distracted very well intellectually but I can't sugar coat what I've been through.  I think I was very detached about it early on after surgery but less so after a year.  I'm pleased that you are able to feel unemotional about it.  I'm caught in the middle of  making some big decisions at present and it can be a bit overwhelming at times. 

Member

Re: If you had or are going to have a mastectomy

I went straight for a mastectomy rather than a WLE, as my aunt has had breast cancer 4 times, and I was worried about needing further operations if the margins weren't clear with a WLE.

I think I am very odd, it didn't bother me at all losing my breasts (got it in the other one, so had second mastectomy 6 weeks later). I live in my head rather than in my body, and am a doctor, so I really didn't feel any emotions about it at all, it was just necessary.

I also didn't want any kind of reconstruction. I now have prosthetics, but am happy flat. For anyone who is also flat (even if temporarily) there is a group called flatfriends which is really good.

Community Champion

Re: If you had or are going to have a mastectomy

Carol Lina, do you have your full diagnosis?  Have they given you scan results?  Are they asking you to decide on mastectomy or lumpectomy?  If the decision is yours its usually because you are borderline.  Mine was a clean cut decision based on having an invasive and diffuse tumour.  Will you be going onto endocrine therapy (Tamoxifen or Letrazole) afterwards or are you TNBC?  xxx

Community Champion

Re: If you had or are going to have a mastectomy

Janie123, it is a tough call: caught between being grateful to be alive and traumatised by events.  When I was told I'd need an mx I said to the nurse "well there's not point in a well conserved breast on a dead body" which I still believe is true.  A satisfactory reconstruction is more about sanity than vanity so yes, the emphasis on mental wellbeing should be considered but not hurried at the expense of a better outcome from waiting a bit. Maybe, not being offered proper counselling means your trauma somehow feels trivialised and you are left to muddle along?  Just another perspective to consider.   I'm a year post-mx now and my mx has only affected how I feel about myself.  I keep it covered up all of the time (except in the bath/shower) so I dont have to think about it because I feel that it's a reminder of cancer for me.  I should develop an attitude like the "Monty Python - just a flesh wound" scene!  I have an appointment over the Xmas period for a second discussion on reconstruction.  I don't have any belly fat so a DIEP flap isn't an option.  The other complication is that I had symptoms of inflammatory breast cancer and an implant isn't usually an option after that ....... but I'm grateful to be alive and enjoying life, oh yes I am.  xxx

Member

Re: If you had or are going to have a mastectomy

You are welcome Daisydi. I have had such amazing support from this forum too. Couldn't do it without all these lovely ladies. I have been following your experiences and I really feel for you. I hope you get the answers you need, on Tuesday. Jane x

Member

Re: If you had or are going to have a mastectomy

Now I understand why they have said that if not clear margins of DCIS this time then they will have to do a mastectomy.  I didnt realise DCIS didnt respond to chemo.  Thank god for this forum and thank you Janie for explaining.  I am really hoping for positive results on Tuesday as I dont think I can take any more surgery

 

Member

Re: If you had or are going to have a mastectomy

Carol Lina - a mastectomy can feel 'extreme' but I'd hope that the doctors are advising you on the basis of the size/type of the tumour that needs to be removed. If it is very large then a lumpectomy could potentially leave you with a misshapen breast, different in size and shape to the other one.

In my case I had a lumpectomy and they didn't get clear margins, so they had to take more. The 2nd op didn't get clear margins either and after that the surgeon was concerned that taking any more tissue would lead to a significant difference. And there was still some DCIS in place so there might have been even more in the rest of the breast which would have been dangerous to leave alone.

I really think you need to push to see a counsellor or psychologist to discuss your fears and anxieties. Your breast care nurse should be able to refer you to one but you will have to push and keep pushing for it.

It's also worth looking online to see if there are any local cancer charities that offer free counselling services. I did a Google search and found one in my area - I see a counsellor on a one to one basis there every week.

Often these services aren't offered to us but we need to ask and push, and make a nuisance of ourselves to get what we need.

I hope you can get the answers you need - if you're uncertain of what you're being told by the doctors then you could also call the Breast Cancer Care helpline who have nurses available, they might be able to explain terms or the likely reason behind the surgeon's thoughts on the need for a mastectomy.
Member

Re: If you had or are going to have a mastectomy

Hi Carol LIna,

 

I only had one surgery ( the mastectomy). The DCIS is not classed as cancer ( it is pre-cancer) with the potential to become invasive. There are three grades, depending how close they are to normally dividing cells. I had some high grade DCIS, and some low and intermediate grades ( so all three grades). There was 8-9cm of DCIS of these three grades, and the 4cm of high grade became my invasive tumour ( which was resolved with chemo). So I had the mastectomy because,, although all my invasive tumour was gone, the DCIS ( which my bcn called pre-cancer cells), is not treated by chemo- it can only be removed surgically, and as my DCIS was so big in relation to the size of my breast, they had to do a mastectomy. I am still having radiotherapy because tumours of 4-5cm have a slightly higher chance of recurrence, so the radiotherapy will hopefully prevent this.

Maybe some of the above may apply to you, and may be why they are recommending a mastectomy?

 

Love Jane xxx

Member

Re: If you had or are going to have a mastectomy

I didn't tell you all the changes which has been happening during my appointments because I didn't want to make you confused. It seems to me like my doctor is not sure what to do with me. It make even worse, all the time I go there I'm afraid about what I'll hear and I am never prepared for that because all the time I'm told a different thing. Sometimes I wonder if it's not too much to suggest a mastectomy(when they told me that, they didn't have even scan results). Don't you think it's a too agressive treatment? In my country it's not the "normal". I feel afraid one day to go there and a friend ask me why I left someone do this to me when they don't usually do there. It's proved(when it's possible to be done) that lumpectomy followed by radiotherapy is as safe as mastectomy. I'm feeling so confused. I'd like to be treated in my onw country, but as I gave up of my job there I no longer have health insurance :-(
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Re: If you had or are going to have a mastectomy

Hi Quaggie, welcome to the thread and thanks for your best wishes! No, my surgeon didn't tell me anything about psychologist. My nurse told me to look for help in some kind of group in another city and that's all. I can't go there and I'm not able to talk to a group(but here, where we don't see each other. I'm quite shy person). A psychologist from the hospital or GP, to talk only to me, I wasn't offered.

May and Jane, it's exactly as I feel and yes, it's normal life to the staff, but it's a big deal to us :-(
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Re: If you had or are going to have a mastectomy

Hi Helenann! Don't worry, you didn't make me feel bad, it's just that I realised that word could, not offend, but maybe hurt someone here. Thanks again for your support. It means too much for me ;-)
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Re: If you had or are going to have a mastectomy

Hi Chime, thanks! Did you get your lymph node results? I'm glad that you can cope more easily with it, as it's not easy to wake up everyday when you feel so bad about anything. I also told my BC nurse that reducing the risks of recurrence is my priority when she asked me, but it doesn't mean that I don't feel pretty bad about losing a piece of me, and it's not because of my sexuality or because of my husband, it's about me. I can't get rid of the the feeling of loss :-(
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Re: If you had or are going to have a mastectomy

Kath, firstly I'm sorry that you've been through it again. Secondly, thanks for sharing it. I'm so glad that your husband is so supportive. I'm am also lucky about it. I admire women like you, who can cope more easily with this kind of problem. Unfortunately, I'm more likely to see the negative side of situations than the positive ones :-(