ive posted a few times over the past few weeks and find this space so helpful to share how I feel.
I have my lumpectomy and snb tomorrow and I’m so worried.
I have never had a general anaesthetic before so that is not helping, i have just said bye to my little boy who is staying with his dad for a few days & I’m finding everything really hard.
I have tried everything to try and ease my anxiety since my diagnosis I have been to reiki and have started cbt counselling last week.
I have been an absolute wreck since finding out and I see posts from ladies on here who are so strong & I am really not good at this at all.
i have a fear of test results I’m already worried about the next appointment my mind does not switch off I have also contacted my gp who has given me something to help me to sleep.
I feel so guilty when I look at my little boy that this is happening in our little world and I am so scared for the future and any little niggle that I am getting I convince myself it’s all related.
@tweenie - first of all a big gentle hug coming your way, and good for you putting down your thoughts on paper, and reaching out on here. I could have written your message myself, as I’m sure many others could. So you are not alone in feeling as you do, particularly the day before your op. Your medical team will have dealt with anxious patients before so tell them how you are feeling and they will be even more caring.
The GA is a strange feeling, the injection goes in and you are “out of it” before you know it, the next thing you know you are waking up in recovery. I was also very anxious and I seem to think they gave me a sedative before - but it’s all a bit fuzzy now so I may have imagined that. A close friend has just had a lumpectomy and snb and was home the same afternoon, and thankfully is recovering very well.
I also had counselling after my treatment and that helped a lot, as did a book that was recommended on here called The Cancer Survivor’s Companion by Frances Goodhart and Lucy Atkins. The line I always quote and try to remind myself is “fears are NOT facts” - much easier to type than put into practice of course. We have to try to deal with facts if we can.
Again easier said than done, but the best advice I had was to take one day at a time or even one hour at a time when things get really tough. We are all right here for you and will be with you tomorrow holding your hand virtually. Please keep chatting on here if that helps. Sending hugs and strength, Evie xx
I feel I must reply to your post and wish you all the best for your surgery tomorrow. I too was a stranger to the world of general anaesthetics, having only had tonsils out at age 4 and still remember waking up from that. I was extremely worried about my operation but wanted to re-assure you totally that all will be actually OK. All you have to do is make sure you do the things the Nurses want you to do, and if you can’t - eg I tried but couldn’t get the compression stockings on - do make sure you ask for help. Ask for painkillers if you need them. I was very well looked after and I am 100% sure you will be too. Time will absolutely fly by. Make sure you get some lovely buttered toast, lots of teas, coffees and biscuits afterwards. The sooner you can prove you can eat, drink and have a pee without too much trouble, the sooner you’ll be home relaxing with your family who I am sure will pander to your every need. Remember, your cancer is treatable and having it out is the right thing to do.
Regards General Anaesthetic - D’ya know what? It’s the easiest and BEST bit of all this BC operation s**t you’re having to go through. I had two boob mast and ANC ops, and a number of knee ops, and I can definitely and reassuringly tell you, EVERY time, the anaesthetics team were ab-fab amazing. Ultra caring, kind and so reassuring in their approach and manner. Honestly.
You’ll probably have a pre-op sedative tablet. They oh so “caringly” administer the GA, ask you to count down from 10 or similar, and by the time you’ve reached 5 >> zzzzzzzz. You’re totally out of it. Every time, it’s always been the best sleep EVER Trust that you are in GOOD HANDS, and that they’re ALL doing the best for you.
Also, you’ll have been “starved” for quite a few hours, so waking up in warmed blankets, hungry, and to someone else making you tea and toast? Likely to be the best you’ve ever tasted!!!
I’m sure everything will go well, and we look forward to hearing from you afterwards, when you’ve woken up properly, and when and if you feel like reporting back. xXx
Tweenie, get you, I had to reply. I read post one and wanted to send big squishies, but now look at you. You DO have strength, just your own sweet way. After the op I felt a bit wobbly (emotionally) but after three weeks was feeling positive and ready for the results. the waiting is tough, but you do get your head around it. I’m a real worry wort and everything would set me off, but surround yourself with good friends and family and keep up with friends on here and you will get stronger and stronger. I loved your wish: ‘I cannot wait to be home tomorrow night in my pj’s knowing that another thing has been ticked off this list and give my son the biggest cuddle (with my good arm of course).’ wow that sounds super strong and the fighting spirit you have been looking for - it was there all along. Yes you will get wobbly, and that is OK, but for now girlfriend you are doing great.