Surgery was a success on Tuesday 😊
I fell asleep for the general while bawling my eyes out, I didn’t even know they were starting I just remember crying and then waking up with it all over!
It’s been an emotional rollercoaster since then with me withdrawing from life even more than Covid restrictions, my husband has been really good and has been getting me out for walks everyday.
The drain was taken out on Friday which was a huge relief.
Healing seems to be going well, I only need the paracetamol for pain now and I’m able to do the basic stretches with minimal discomfort.
I just got my letter for my follow appointment on Friday, I’m so glad I don’t have to wait too long to find out pathology results and what the next course of treatment is.
I hope everyone else is doing well.
Hello Katie - welcome to the forum where you will find oodles of emotional support and hopefully some smiles too!! You sound in a v similar position to me - I was a 21mm tumour which turned out to be 18mm invasive but plus another unknown 32mm of DCIS. So like you margins were rubbish also similarly I had macrostatic SNB. I’ve now had 2nd Or re escision and full clearance - no drains which I was expecting to have but have had a seroma which had to be drained. Arm is sore but def bearable. I was only in overnight as no one at home. They go back in through the same scars - mine are two parallel scars on boob but I guess it depends where your tumours are. I have LICAP reconstruction on Monday.
the waiting for results and getting a kickback when you finally get them is a real bummer but keep going and you will get there eventually xx my anxiety and full on panic has been unbearable when I’m normally v pragmatic and rational. Let yourself be and don’t punish yourself for you feel, it’s big news and it’s horrible. Bear in mind though that this is usually a very treatable disease and also lymph is our friend - catching nasties for us!
so we are in theatre on the same day!! Woo hoo x I try to treat these days like spa days with a difference..... enjoy the peace and overnight rest. Just don’t look for a hot tub etc as you will be disappointed!
this time after your operation hopefully you will be free from the disease and can move into next steps. Please feel free to stay in touch and here’s to Monday Katie xx
I know exactly what you mean, I was diagnosed end of August and didn't start treatment until mid October. I had the feeling it was happening to someone else, everyone thought I was so brave because I kept on teaching with a 7 cm tumour and lymph nodes affected and was so positive but really I was dissociated. I wasn't even that worried for my full body scan, I didn't understand how bad it could be, I just thought they will treat it if they find more. I scared myself to death later on finding out on the internet about it speading.
But I didn't force myself to "feel positive" and sometimes have felt really low and negative. I think it's important to accept your real feelings, like you say it is a roller coaster -sometimes i just feel like hiding in bed and crying and I do. Feeling sorry for myself or whatever I need to feel.
I imagine getting results worse than what they first thought must be so hard. Also having to go back for more surgery after you recovered well. Of course we worry it will spread while they are doing all the tests and waiting, it would be insane not to worry really. I knew I had a big tumour from the beginning and that I would lose my breast. But even after six months to think about it I am finding it hard to process.
The good thing is they will do everything to make sure they get all the cancer out and then blast it with chemo if necessary. They fight for us. Do you know if you will need chemo after surgery?
My mum did make it so that cheers all the family up in the transition between chemo and surgery.
Sending hugs for Monday.
This is my very first post. Spent all evening reading various different threads and I’ve found it’s quite reassuring to read there are others having similar journeys to my own and that there are others that worry just as much as I do. I’m always scared that one day they tell me it’s worse than they first thought and question how can they possibly know it’s not spread when I’ve not had a full body scan.
I am due to have a second operation on Monday 15 February which feels like a very long time after I first discovered a lump in September 2020. I had various further tests (MRI and 2 separate biopsies on a lump in my lymph nodes) so first operation which was a WLE and SNB wasn’t until December 2020. This brought about lots of worrying about what was happening in the meantime. Especially as a week before the operation my lump suddenly felt twice the size and all I kept thinking was it should have been removed way before it got to that.
So results of operation was that 25mm tumour was actually 47mm and my lymph nodes were infected. I don’t know the ratio though. Due to the size increase they haven’t removed enough margin either.
So I now need a re-excision of the cavity and axillary node clearance. I recovered really well after the first operation so that is encouraging but I’m a little nervous because I know this operation is more extensive and I’ll have a drain fitted. At least having an overnight stay means they can monitor me for longer as I was quite surprised by how quickly they got me out the first time! I’d never had an operation before.
It’s such a rollercoaster journey, I was so positive after finally getting my operation it was such a low point getting the results.
@emarveling I really feel for you having your surgery dates changed so many times, just extra anxiety in what is such a challenging time. I hope your surgery went ahead on the 9th and that you are recovering well.
@yjj I hope you are recovering well, sounds like you had same surgery I’ll be having. Did you have a drain? 🤞for your MRI results.
@pips88 It only felt real to me once I’d got to the first operation. Felt like something I spoke about but wasn’t really happening to me. The set backs are just unbelievable but I hope you’ve got a new date for your surgery now.
@UmLydia Hope you are doing well and that your mum manages to make it for your surgery. Cancer and COVID is not a great mix with not being able to see family and friends easily. My sister is 145 miles away which isn’t too bad but it might as well be on the moon at the moment. I haven’t seen her since my diagnosis.
Lots of hugs everyone and stay positive.
Hi emarveling, that's great you got your letter, the 9the will come round really fast, although I imagine you won't actually believe it until you are on the operating table after having your surgery cancelled twice already. So tough. It's brave to choose to go flat. I'm glad in a way I didn't have to make that choice. Maybe I will get so used to having the prosthesis I won't want the extra trauma of breast reconstruction. I find it impossible to predict how I am going to react. It does seem really really horrible. That's good you get a night in hospital. My hospital in France is really nice, they specialise in cancer, but they wanted me as an outpatient. The surgeon thinks I will be fine, I am 43. I live in Angers in the Loire Valley. It's tough having family abroad at the moment. Luckily my mum is coming for the surgery, I hope, if they let her through the border. I've been fine for the chemo but feeling drained and she will cheer me up. Also my children are so happy to see her, especially my 5 year old is really excited.
Yjj sending hugs for you. It's terrible to have to go through this. We have to become so strong.
At the moment I’m still on for the 9th, I’ve had the official letter.
A nurse called yesterday offering me the vaccine but I’ve thankfully already had it otherwise it’d be another delay for surgery.
still waiting for a date for my COVID test which is the last step before surgery.
I’ve chosen to go flat but was offered implant reconstruction immediately if I wanted it. As far as I know I’m in for a night although my surgery has now been moved from afternoon to morning, I think I’d still like a night at the hospital to adjust, also to make the most of now being in a private hospital 😁
I also have to wait until after surgery before finding out about further treatment. I’m hoping that after that I’ll have a bit more control over my life again.
Where about in France are you? My brother lives in Briancon, unfortunately we haven’t been able to visit him there yet. Hopefully once treatment and COVID are over we can.
Hello peeps- quick update as back home yesterday. Love new surgeon, v confident in him. Full clearance and re excision all done. CT showed a node on liver which they “think” is benign, MRI tomo and am on ceiling once again with panic - **bleep**ty horrible disease we are all blessed with. Nothing to do but plough on and stay as sane as possible!
smiling minds app is v good - do take a look
im off to find more drugs!!
Pips do you know what chemo you will be having? There are really great monthly support groups. I started mine in October and it really helped sharing the experience.
Sending hugs. I hope your mastectomy goes ahead this time. Did it get delayed due to Covid?. Do you qualify for immediate reconstruction? Mine is 25th of Febuary. No reconstruction. They will analyse the cells in the breast and see how well chemotherapy worked then proceed from there.
I live in France and thank goodness the schools are still open. I don't think I could have coped with chemotherapy and home schooling. Or I would have coped but it would have been a dreadful experience. I feel really exhausted and drained and the looming mastectomy is also taking its psychological toll. Some days I have absolutely no patience with the children.
For me the mastectomy seems enormous, but I saw the surgeon a few days ago and he said for them it is a really simple operation. He pushed for me to be an outpatient. So will be coming straight home. I am not too worried about the actual operation, I trust the team. Glad to know it's not a big deal for them. I've arranged for the children to be away the days immediately after surgery, luckily it coincides with half term. It's strange to talk about chopping your breast off as if it is really not a great deal. My mother in law (who is also a doctor) said it is a "very superficial" operation. Lovely. I am more worried how I will feel on waking up.
It's true not being able to see people normally makes it worse. We will come through stronger. But with a less feminine figure. I thought I didn't care about that at first but of course I do.
Pips that is tough. I hope you get another date for your operation soon. You are so positive!! I was like that at the beginning but have no more energy, just feel every day is a step forward and hoping i'll bounce back some day.
Yjj so glad to hear your surgery went well. Thanks for the advice about the meditation app I will definitely try it. Fingers crossed for CT results.
No you couldn’t write it lol. I think that was the first time I cried, although it was probably more to do with waking up confused and groggy. Anyway, there’s a few smurf jokes going round now and I’m just glad to be safe!
Noooo! Oh god, how bloody awful for you! I had lymphocytic colitis a few years ago and unfortunately there really is nothing that will stop it once it decides to come, as they say, when you gotta go, you gotta go! Has it settled now?
Ill check that app out, thank you.
Hope tomorrow goes well lovely. Even tho my allergic reaction was horrible it’s given me extra confidence that they really do know what they are doing. They will look after you and once surgery is done that’s the cancer out of your body! Fingers crossed ct results are good Too.
Hello everyone x
@pips88 gosh what a bummer! You couldn’t write this cr4p could you, it’s certainly a “journey” that none of us wish to be on. Fingers crossed that your revised date pops back soon and you can get this over with. Hopefully to make you smile, I had after effects from iodine and:or barium from ct scan - non warning uncontrolled diarrhoea...once at home so “manageable” but yesterday on a dog walk, middle of nowhere and about 2 miles from my car!! OMG a very different walk of shame!!
had CT Friday and told would be phoned with results Friday... no phone call so mind in overdrive. Op tomo so guess it will be then but am v anxious
im using Smiling Minds - it’s a free meditation app. I’ve tried them before and failed but I find this one really good and really helpful to turn off my head for a break
@emarveling i think you are on 9th? I too was freaked about anaesthetic first time round a few weeks ago. The anaesthetist will come and see you before you go to theatre. Explain your fears to him and he should reassure you. What is it you are scared of? For me it was being awake but seeming asleep and being unable to move etc. It was all explained very kindly and I was told nowadays they monitor your brain activity with a strip across your head so they know how you are and adjust drugs throughout the process. It’s v v normal to feel freaked out about surgery. I had a meltdown in the ward and in the theatre from anxiety, I was told by lovely staff that this too is very normal and they see it several times each and every day. As soon as cannula was in they administered some “chill your beans” magic stuff before the anaesthetic and my goodness that is brilliant stuff. Literally in seconds you will be very calm and relaxed and before you know it you will be waking up and will all be over. I think kids are generally very resilient, we perhaps worry about them more than they are worrying! The normality if there is such a thing anymore of home schooling and heading off to grandmas as a treat will be great for them x Try the Smiling Minds, I’m finding it really good for the angst xx. You are very right when you say one day this will be a memory - we’ve got this girl xx
hope your all well?
So unfortunately my surgery didn’t go ahead.
I had an allergic reaction to the blue dye they use to highlight the lymph’s for biopsies. It’s quite rare but happens every now and then. I was already in surgery zonked out so I didn’t know anything about it until I woke up with a serious case of the jitters, thanks to the adrenaline and was told the bad news by my lovely surgeon. It was quite a bad reaction so I had to stay in overnight. But I’ve had a good few days of rest and I’m ok now. I was treated wonderfully by the lovely staff at the hospital.
So now I’m waiting for a new date, I will be having the same op, just without the dye!
Serves me right for trying to pretend I was in the February surgery group lol.
How are you all doing?
Love and hugs to you all xx
❤️Emarvling you are doing fabulous ❤️ don’t be hard on yourself, glad the someone like me options been useful, use it as much as you need too ❤️ have you had a look at post surgery exercises yet? Familiarising yourself with them before op will help you focus on post op, so you can ensure you get your range of movement back post op 👍 it is amazing how quickly your body will knit back together post op, just take it steady and give it chance to rest post op ❤️ step by step you run up the mountain as strawberry blonde wrote ❤️ 💪💪💪💕💕✨✨Shi xx
I got the official letter today from the hospital so it’s all feeling a lot more real.
I think the hardest thing about all this at the moment is not being able to see other people and have the other normal distractions. This last week I’ve used the someone like me phone service and it’s been really helpful to talk to others, I’ve even found a local group which has been very supportive, but it’s not the same. All this was making me feel better but now the letter has arrived I’m back to panic mode.
The kids are coping really well considering everything that’s going on. Their school isn’t the best with online schooling but I feel like we’ve got a routine down now. I’m lucky that they can go to my mums for a couple of nights when I have surgery.
I’m having a mastectomy on my left breast and I think they’re taking a few lymph nodes, I really haven’t got my head around all the technical terms. This is the 3rd date I’ve been given for surgery so I am really fed up. I’m really scared about the going under so have been given some anti-anxiety meds, not sure that they’re really helping.
Keep plodding on, one day this will all be a distant memory.
Hi ... we are v close in surgery dates. I don’t know how you feel but I just want it over with! My kids are 11 and 13, I think this is tough but it’s tough on kids as well. I also have zero patience so home schooling is just a nightmare... for everyone! They’re at their dads now so it’s just me the dog and the cat
what are you having done
I hope you are feeling okay...damn stupid thing to say but we have to plod on and trust the experts. I’m in a total tizz as per usual, been in a tizz since Xmas eve tbh.
it’s nice to meet you, good luck for the 9th xxx
Hi pips x how are you doing? I think you had surgery yesterday, I hope you are okay and glad to have the surgery over with? Please let me know
i have ct today and next surgery on Tuesday - 5th. I don’t much like this rollercoaster v much at all
stay strong and smiley lovely xxx
I can join the February group now I’ve been given my new date of the 9th of Feb.
@UmLydia my kids are 8 and 11 so I feel some of your pain there, it’s hard work not having any time or space to yourself. Message me if you want to chat about it.
@UmLydia so glad you have a supportive partner! With all the craziness in the world right now it makes such a difference having them around us.
Have all of your children been off school since Christmas then? I’m sure all the upheaval of that has been tough too. You’ve had a lot to deal with!
My cousin died quite a few years ago now, I think treatments have come a long way since then. She was also a Dr and it’s definitely true they make the worst patients, I think she ignored her lump for a while before finally getting it sorted. At the minute I’m focusing on her mums recovery (my aunt). She was diagnosed 4 years ago at 81 and has made a fantastic recovery!
Yes I’ll need chemotherapy. I think that’s partly due to my cancer being grade 3 and my age, they just want to throw everything at it, and I’m all up for that! Have you had any shrinkage with your chemo? My HR2 results came back borderline so we will have to wait until after surgery and some more detailed tests to see if I’m triple positive.
Hope this past week has been a good one for you!
Hi @yjj Im sorry to hear about your results. How you feeling? That’s a big choice to make isn’t it. Have they given you their opinions of the best way forward? I keep saying to my nurse, just do whatever we have to do! But some choices are definitely harder than others!
I’ve got a lung nodule that showed up on my CT that they are going to keep an eye on. They don’t think it’s suspicious but I get your anxiety around every pain or ache and wondering if it’s the cancer. That’s normal I guess, although everything feels far from normal at the minute!
Have you been homeschooling? I honestly am so in awe of you guys with kids, all this going on in the world and a bloody cancer diagnosis on top. I think you are tougher than you think hun.
Hope your feeling better this week!
Hello - nice to meet you though would be nice for us both not to be here! I am hormone positive but Her2 negative and only just getting used to the terminology...
I also have 2 kids, 11 and 13, a cat and a dog
its tough isn’t it, the mental and emotional stress is astronomical and I find this damn waiting and waiting so terrifying
im very impressed that you have only just had a meltdown. I seem to have a mini meltdown at least once per day since my diagnosis on Christmas Eve. You’re obviously a tough cookie
anyway just wanted to say hello, stay strong and calm - it’s all very doable and treatable xx
id like to join please! No date yet but had crappy appt yesterday following lumpectomy and SNB. They found a large DCIS as well as my 18mm invasive tumour and 1 node is macro static. So .... full node clearance and either LICAP lumpectomy no 2 or mastectomy. My decision????
I was in pieces about first op and hoping that would be that but no! The lucky fairies are not onside at mo
after full clearance of all nodes so this is a type 3 clearance, it’s more waiting to see what the lymph spread is. I’m scared witless over spread
i have 2 kids 11 and 13 - amicably separated from dad who has stage 4 lymphoma.
No treatment plan yet as got to understand the lymph situation, then poss get genome testing before any plan. I’m sure everyone is the same but I’m really scared and think every headache, creak and ache is this devil!
so anyway that’s me in a nutshell
hopefully chat soon
Hello Pips yes it has been challenging. My children are 5, 9 and 11. Luckily my partner is very supportive.
That must be hard waiting so long for the results of your genetic test. How tragic your cousin died at 41. At least they will get the cancer out straight away. Will you need chemo after the surgery? I hope you won't need a mastectomy.
Nobody in my family has ever had cancer, i'm 42 and found the lump myself in the summer while on holiday. I had the feeling for ages that it was happening to someone else, funny how our minds react.
Gosh I bet you’ve had a tough few months with all that going on and having three children at home. How old are they? I only have cats and that’s been hard enough lol.
Although my surgery is very minor compared to yours I am expecting to need a mastectomy in the future. Im being sent for genetic testing as my cousin died at 41 from bc, my aunt and my grandmother also had bc so it’s quite likely I have the gene. Unfortunately the tests can take 4-5 months so I was hoping to have chemo first to avoid multiple surgeries but hey ho at least we are getting started on something!
I’m sure there will be others joining soon who are due to have a mastectomy in feb!
Hello pips88. I am going to have a mastectomy end of Febuary, after six rounds of chemotherapy to reduce a 7 cm tumour. I have triple positive breast cancer.
Even though I have had four months since diagnosis to get my head round the amputation of my breast, for a long time i felt almost indifferent. I don't qualify for immediate reconstruction. I've been having to deal with chemo and side effects, have three children so busy even though I am not working. I have just started to freak out at the idea of the surgery. Had my first cry yesterday. It's hard psychologically. So would be good to talk to others facing it.
I also had some cancer in lymph nodes so will have something done there. I am looking forward to seeing the surgeon on the 1st of Febuary to get more information.
Just thought I’d make a thread for those of us who have just been booked in for surgery if anyone fancies joining in. Not that any of us actually want to join but you know what I mean!
Im actually a tad naughty as my surgery is 28th jan but I was only booked in yesterday and it’s so late in the month feels like feb and the jan girls are all set up. My cancer is grade 3 so originally I was due to have chemo first but they are confident the tumour can be removed before chemo as it’s only 18mm at the minute.
Im due to be having a therapeutic mammoplasty and sentinel lymph node biopsy. Any one else?
Think things have only started to feel real now this has been booked and I literally just want to run for the hills!