Just saw the message about Peonyrose as you must have posted it while I was writing mine Delly.
That’s a real blow. I’m glad she’s still got her fighting spirit and determination.
Sending love and positivity her way.
Yes had lumpectomy in December with sentinel lymph node removal but what initially started out as a ‘small thing which will be sorted by xmas’ (consultants words) has decided it’s got more ambition and now need whole thing off with 4 nodes. He said it’s got the ‘potential to travel’ which is why the covid delay was such a blow.
Don’t worry about fridge space-although I do like the idea of the shots...or cocktails might be a good one with little umbrellas! Fun with chemo who knew?!!
Have a good day-off for my covid test this morning! Not before our steep drive has been cleared cause we have snow!!⛄️❄️❄️ Xxx
Am posting this seperately, because it's about our Peonyrose Alice. Results were back yesterday from liver scan and they've found a lesion 😞 So to use a polite word - Flip, Flip, Flip. BUT . . . it's a SMALL one, which is some sort of good news for her, at least. So, because it's HER2-ve and both Oestrogen AND Progesterone +ve, she's reading a book called "Starving Cancer", where you basically cut out ANY foods that contain hormones. There are quite a lot, apparently: "dairy, eggs, meat, cheese, preservatives etc... even sweet potatoes mimic estrogen". I'm interested to have a look at this book sometime. Has anyone else heard of it ?
But, do you know what, after delivering the bad news bomb, she then rallied up saying "I'm gonna fight this blasted thing", 🖕 but used rather more fiery, choice language. Talk about a Wonder-flippin-woman. Crikey bobs. That's some tough cookie talk, hey?
A M A Z I N G 💃 🦏 💝 💎 🦁
I'm sure she'll probably be back posting soon'ish. xxxxxx
Gelbel - Hi, our or your slippers posts clashed. Did you mean to say "Baltic"? Or were you meaning "Brassic", as in bloomin COLD? Another crikeybobs Gel - that IS a lot of nodes. Just raising another beer to you and the girls "Cheers" me Dears. Here's to good results, successful ops, speedy healing, strength, effective treatments for you ALL and kicking that BC BUTT! 🤗
What's the Tech Giant you work for? or is that getting to too personal info to post on public?
Titch - I went back to remind myself, your ops a mastectomy, yeh? Will that be with or without recon? Are your PJ's button up top? Two Titchy Tasks ticked off today.
How you doing Bookish??
See you all soon, nighty night, xxx❤️❤️❤️xxx
Ahhhh Titch, you're checking up on me, good. Yeh, I got up a couple of hours back. Think it may have been someone else's buttock you were pushing up. Just having a few slurrrrps of coffee whilst I type.
That's great news on your op Tuesday. Just remind me what you're having to have done will you please? I don't want to waste valuable chore, or change that to a more positive duty, or Titch job time, scanning back through our posts. Mmmm, yeh, seeerious biz today.
You can keep your chemo in Gelbels and my beer fridge if you like. Am sure Gel won't mind. As long as we don't have a few too many and start drinking IT as "shots" instead. Yey, another party!!! Am getting excited. Have to earn it first tho'. Do we want a "themed dress" one?? Have a think on gals.
Yeh, Peony knows we're all gunning and wanting to be here for her.
Ahh, got my emogies back. Was because I'd had it on larger "zoom" size. Have learned SOMEthing today.
Am gonna buzz off now and do some bizz ❤️ xxx❤️xxx ❤️ < was missing these.
Yes in slippers. I'm an internal communications manager for a Big Technology giant. My role is all about engaging our colleagues outside the UK by sharing the best of the business with them as we transform and to help build a community of advocates for the business. Well you did ask!
So, just spoke to my BCN... only had DCIS as well as the 34mms grade 3 main bit. All of that in a 84mm side to side space. 31 out of 48 nodes - she's never seen/heard of so many nodes. Only 66% as I said to hubby.
She and my surgeon seem reluctant to tell me what the % risk is. Very high by the sounds of it. Can't wait to see those charts on Tuesday when I'm with the onc. consultant. Seem chemo will start within 2 weeks of that appointment so I'm not worrying longer than necessary.
Bone scan on Thursday.
Hello again ladies!
Hope you are all okay today-hope Peony knows we are here for her whenever she feels up to getting back on here again. Never has ‘taking each day as it comes’ been such a relevant mantra.
Delly have you got up and at it yet?!! My back is straining trying to lift that buttock up!!! Come on you can do it!! That horse has gone through his 3rd nosebag waiting for you!!
Good news is my op is definitely going ahead on Tuesday! A 2 hour drive to the hospital as its a safer one covid-wise but at least the ball will be rolling!!
Gelbel hope you enjoy being back at work! Should feel good I imagine to get back into a routine-never thought it would be something I’d miss! Love how you dress to go into the office!!!😍
Just a quick query...when any of you have had chemo did you have to inject yourself and do you have to keep the injections in the fridge? I’m wondering whether to buy one of those beer fridges as our fridge isn’t very big!!
Well hope you all have a lovely weekend! I too will join you in a beer later!
Bottoms up! (So I can stand up Delly!!!😁)
Wearing your office suits and skirts, what with slippers?? 🙂 Leeds to London for work, sounds exciting. What do you do, Gel?
Keep getting a flock of seagulls on the lake at the park. Greedy devils, poor ducks, swans and coots can't get a look in. Keep bullying and divebombing the swans too.
Yeh symbols at the top of the page. Have lost my emogies!! (sounds rude, hee hee :-)) xxxx
Been working from home for 20 years Delly! My little bedroom is my office/dressing room. Occasionally meetings in the office - never thought I'd say I wish I could have a long day or two down to London. I miss Kings Cross Station. 😂 Unlike the rest of the country/world, I started dressing up for work, as if I was going into the office, since March so my skirts and blouses don't 'shrink' in the wardrobe! 😉
Lovely day here too. Baltic though. Myrtle, my car, is in for service and her 1st MOT today so can't rally nip for a walk til she's back - I always do a collect and return.
Don't know what you mean about symbols. Did you mean the bell, message sign etc? I'd been logged out, when I logged back in they were there.
Well done on reaching the top of the door on your FIRST stretch of the day, as oppo the last. That's sounds really good progress. Plus you're sounding a lot brighter than you have been.
That's very interesting about the osteo drug. I hadn't heard anything about it. It interests me how they find out these things? Whether someone with osteoporosis perhaps also had bone cancer, and they discovered it had helped with that too. They use an anticonvulsant drugs for epilepsy as one of the Bipolar drug options.
I might join you in a beer tonight, if I may. Toast your return to work. That's a good positive step. Is that at some form of office, or are you working from home? Have a good night. "CHEERS" from me (clink, n slurrrrp, hic (oops)).
We have beautiful crisp sunshine here today, and am feeling better physically today and a bit more up again, so shall be out in it soon. Also try and get the AA out before peak evening traffic and still daylight, to help me unlock my car, which has locked me out due to totally flat battery with not having been used for a YEAR!! Have to decide what "Titch" chores to do too, so I get some brownie points from her again.
I've lost my symbol box at the top of here. How do I bring it back, ladies??
Hope everyone has a good day. Lots of lurrrrv, Delly xxxxxxx
Thanks for the check-in on Peony, I was going to message her today. Please send her my warmist best wishes.
Seems there is some drug they use for osteoporosis that has a good % of stopping bone cancer. I don't yet have any more details as not seeing the onc team til Tuesday. My surgeon just went through a list of therapies I'll be having - even suggested not to bother writing as it'll be all in my letter from her and from the BCN... expecting a call today.
I have a list of Qs as long as my arm around why no scans showed the extent and how will they know annual mammograms will be enough to check in the other side? And a few more...
Friday, wine day, though I think I'll have a beer tonight. Celebrate going back to work on Monday - I'm ready. I just need my colleagues to stop me chaining myself to my desk for hours at a time.
Gelbel - Ohhh crikeybobs, darlin'. I'm too am so sorry to hear your result news. Am sooo wishing you strength to keep kicking that BC butt HARD, girl. Grrrrrr 😠 Good to hear they're being so thorough with treatment plan, plus with further checks - bone scan. What's the osteoarthritis drug trial about?? Are they trialing it as a treatment for Cancer or something? Or do you unfortunately have that too?
Had to laugh at, and greatly admire your humour at such a hard time for you, with your "BC tourette's" comment. Ha ha, blummin classic.
Titch - Thanks for your praise sweetheart, it's very sweet of you, but am NOT deserving ANY today. Not been well again, so basically had to write today off and NOTHING done. Fallen off the GeeGee again. Mwaaa-haaa-haaa (that's me scriking). And cleaning "frenzy"?? Deffo NOT been a "frenzy", just couple of jobs, but still a "BIGGIE" for me, and better than months/years even of nothing/NOWT/zilch.
Have you had your date yet????
My Dear Girlies - I pm'd our Peony, because I was concerned we hadn't heard anything after her Liver scan. Hoping it hadn't been FURTHER bad news. If so, and upset, it would explain why she hadn't "reported in". If so, and she was struggling to post anything herself, to see if it would be easier for her to report anything back "through" ME instead. Turns out she hasn't the results back yet! BUT, has gone into a very nasty dive, generally with EVERYthing and very much struggling at the mo'. (Another "crikeybobs" from me). I don't think any of us are surprised are we, with the amount she's suddenly been hit with, having to deal with, get her head round!! So, she sends her love to us all, and says (directly copied from her email), "I’ll get back on our forum when I feel better up to it, as every one feels like my family. This is terrible (meaning her diagnosis and everythng that goes with it), but meeting my tribe has been a gift." Awwww ❤️
I'll keep us all informed and up to date, until she's feels stronger to herself.
In the meantime - can two of you get under each of my skinny buttocks and pleeease help me hoik myself back on that Neddy Gee Gee thing with four legs!!! Keeps escaping from me. I yet need to TAME and CONTROL it. Bloomin fickle thing.
Loads, no in fact oooodles of love to everyone, Dellypoos xxxxxxxx I want to be back on Neddy >> 🐎, then gradually work my way up to racing on Redrum >> 🏇 !!
Oh Gelbel I’m so sorry about your results it’s no wonder we all end up with Scanxiety when, as seems to be the case with me so far, they often seem worse than expected! Still you’ve got an incredible mindset and I’ve no doubt you’ll deal with this setback with your usual strength and positivity.
Hope all you other ladies are feeling okay, Delly well impressed with your cleaning frenzy! I could do with some tips! Have you ever watched Maria Condo on netflix? The Japanese lady who shows people how to clean their houses? It’s quite addictive and is a great motivator (unfortunately it only motivated me for about an hour!😝)
Have a good day ladies-feel so sorry for folks today having to be evacuated due to flooding on top of covid!
Lots of love to you all!xx
Oh, Gelbel, that's harsh! I am in awe of your PMA (positive mental attitude). Fingers remain crossed for you, and we're all here to cheer you on every step of the way xx
Hello ladies, well I certainly do not do anything by halves... cancer throughout Exbo (removed boob). Massive - nearly 9cm in total. 30+ nodes out of 40+ had it in. Don't know what grade, my consultant doesn't do grades, though BCN will tell me. Must admit, BC Tourette's kicked-in as she unveiled all.
So it's the kitchen sink of chemo, rads (possibly on neck modes too) therapies for me incl that osteoarthritis drug trial and they are doing a bone scan just to be sure. Though should be absolutely fine as CT scan was clear. 🤞
Back on Tuesday for the plan from the Ocology consultant. Suspect from everything, % risk is high 🤔 - expect the details then, if I can't get a better idea from my BCN tomorrow.
Good news in so much as, just as well I didn't opt for recon at the same time as radiotherapy likely needed on nodes to and my scar looks fab - if such a thing can. I certainly wasn't shocked nor upset when I saw it. Any tips on massage? Was told to and use non-petroleum based cream (I have that).
And in other good news, my hubby is in the clinically extremely vulnerable and 70+ (much older than me!) has his 1st vaccine booked. I'm going to ask about me getting mine done sooner rather than later as I'll soon be in the vulnerable category.
So that's me.
How's everyone else getting on? I do think of our little gang often. ❤️💪
Bookish - Wow, that sounds like quite an amazing surgery you've been given.
I'd say it took about 2 years to regain the light touch sensation in my skin over the expanders. I was so chuffed just after the expanders had been installed, with just a 100mls to keep them in position, after having been without ANYthing, flat for 7 and 8 yrs. Great to see two bumps back, even if shallow. The 3 following inflations took me up to 250 mls, which I was more than happy with, it bringing back to a 34B/C size. My skin wouldn't have allowed any further size anyway - would have been stretching it far too thinly.
Anyway, I'll see how my head-state goes. If I can "maintain" a more stable state, I'll just go to my local hospital in Macclesfield to continue. The ONLY reason I went to the other hosp was to see the same surgeon who did such a brill job, but to only find out then he wouldn't do implant recon. If I'd have had the sense, I could have saved myself a long trek seeing the other surgeon at the same place, and come back here. Much more convenient, and more possibility of staying on that horse 🐎 !! Hey Ho and Neyyyyy xxx
I've done some more cleaning today, wheyhey!! Got to cash in on it whilst not Dellying xxxx
Good to see and hear you.
This is just a quickie, I promise. 1Kg is equivalent to just over 2lbs, which is massive. Do you think it might have been 16oz, which would still be massive at a pound in weight? Anyway, I'm sooo pleased the chemo did a good job of shrinking and you are pleased with your results, but sorry your mast side is very swollen. I hope it does go down for you before your prosthetic fitting.
Peonyrose - How did Tuesday's scan go? I'm hoping all was good, was it?
Lots of love to you all, Delly xxxxxxx
Hey, Delly 🙂
First off, absolutely sucks when miscommunication causes issues. Hopefully the rest can go a lot more smoothly for you ((((hugs))))
I have indeed held on to my nipples, much to my surprise to be offered tbh, but it wasn't because of the immediateness of the reconstruction. In fact, in a weird way Covid gave me the option...! I was diagnosed (again) in March last year, just as things were getting really panicky for the first time. So I was offered a lumpectomy to deal with the (tiny) tumour and give us all a bit more time for more decisions - it seems a bit daft, given the whole story, but I was still on the fence about going for a mastectomy. I thought I'd get another year or two to debate so it was quite a shock when the surgeon started talking months! On the plus side, I was just such a mess mentally, it's probably good not to still have it hanging over me.
Anyway, this all meant that the mastectomy was 'purely' risk-reducing, and that's what allowed for the 2-stage procedure and keeping the skin and nipples. I wonder if it was an opportunity for the surgical team, too, to do a procedure they probably don't get to practice too often? I was far too big-bosomed to not have to start with a reduction (surgeon: "implants don't come in your size!" - cheers, mate!!), but that also let them move the nipple and see if they could save the blood supply - my huge worry was the damn thing rotting off, urgh. It's similar to the ops Angelina Jolie had - only thing I'm ever likely to have in common with her! All went well, and indeed I'm rather delighted to be down to 'just' a D cup (hah!) not to mention symmetrical for the first time in decades, so four months later they reopened the bottom scar, along the crease, and finished removing the remaining tissue.
Alas, for all I think I'll be really relieved/happy with the look - once the shock all wears off? - retaining any sensation is still not something they can guarantee at all. Reduction stage saw it disappear around all the new incisions and from the nipples entirely (I do wonder if I would have bothered if I knew beforehand, but as I say, sure I'll be glad of the whole appearance thing more once I get used to it all), and mastectomy stage has taken most of the rest of the skin sensation. Right now I'm not *as* bothered as I thought I would have been, probably because it's a bit bloomin' late now anyway.
I never had any desire for self tissue recon with either of my masts (2006 and 2007), despite my then new (as in not my "original" surgeon who was retiring) surgeon pushing it, him being newly qualified in such procedures (2006).
I was just interested to know whether you'd had PRE or SUB-Pec placement. When I finally embarked on my VERY delayed recon (then 2014!), I went back to my original mast surgeon, because he'd done such a brilliantly neat job, excellent surgeon. Many doctors and other medics have remarked on how neat my scars were. That time round, I saw him at a different hospital, where he was then actually teaching these self tissue procedures at a large University "training" hospital in S. Manchester. He just wouldn't do implant recon for me, whether he considered it too "beneath" his capabilities, I dunno. But I was recommended to and placed under another surgeon, who carries out gender transformation surgery! 🤔 He installed the expanders SUB-pec, I went through all the inflation appointments (3) ready for the permanent anatomical shaped silicons to be installed, for which he also uses Strattice or tissue matrix slings with. But he cancelled a week before. I had a new op appointment given for 3 weeks later, but I went into a massive dive with other stuff going on, I had to cancel and just haven't got back onto the horse again. So I'm STILL at expander stage, left one DE-flated after 3 yrs (they don't recommend having in longer than 1 1/2 - 2 yrs!), right has partially deflated in the last year. Sooo, I need to keep this mojo up and get them finished. I'll definitely have to have a new expander in the left and re-inflated, as the skin's shrunk back too. I may get away with the right one, not sure.
I'd wanted immed implant recon with my first, in order to have it over and done with in one. Found out afterwards, it didn't happen due to a miscommunication. The surgeon thought I wanted Self-tissue recon and wouldn't do it because I still smoked at the time, it affecting the tiny blood vessels they connect together to keep the tissue viable. That didn't matter with implant recon. I've never had a problem with my skin healing despite smoking, had no problems with either of my masts, scars fully healed in two weeks. So all very frustrating, in that my boobs could have been done and finished all those years ago, instead of years of being put on hold due to other life's brown stuff.
Did you manage to retain your nipples with your recon then, Bookish, as it was immediate recon? That was what made my initial decision of lumpectomy and rads or mastectomy, back in 2006 - didn't want to lose my nipp. Only decided on the actual morning of the op, popped to the ward bathroom, and measured up a 7cm sphere (1cm tumour with 3cm required clearance all round), which on a size 34B boob was practically ALL of anyway, so mast it was.
Gelbel and I were talking about seromas. Both of mine on each side formed after 2 weeks and were aspirated off with a hyperdermic. i think they're that much more likely to form if you've also had ANC, which I had with both. The first was the size of a golf ball, started reforming about a week later, but then the fluid gradually reabsorbed. the other side was only 1/2 the size. Didn't hurt at all to have them done and a lot more comfortable afterwards.
It's interesting about sensation - A lot of my skin sensation has returned. Or were you meaning nipple sensation, or both? Mine would be a "phantom" sensation if it were nipples 😃
Gelbel - Good luck for today, sweetheart. We'll all be gunning for youhooo.
Lots of love, Delly xxxxxxx
Hi again you ab-fab women
I apologise in advance, for this looong post, but it's very significant for me, so please bear with me, as I have a reason and need to share it with you all, 'cos you're all important women to me.
Blame our lovely, inspirational WARRIOR, Peonyrose/Alice for it, as I have HER to personally THANK for it. My thoughts of and on her ATTITUDE, yesterday, along with something else.
So much for trying to reset my sleep clock last night. No sleep the night before (all connected to this dreadful Bipolar biz). Was nicely sleepy at 9 last night - should have taken myself off then, but didn't. Ended up going through again to some weird time early hours this morning, 5'ish, Doing what? Wading through Amazon's reems of vitamin supplements, trying to find the ultimate multivit + multimineral with iron tabs for the most reasonable price to replenish my supply. MAD!!! So slept through most of the day again. NO discipline. Keep on at me, will yer please. I give you ALL permission to TELL ME OFF. Desperately need to get my life back onto a more NORMAL track.
Had had a more "Up" day yesterday too. Due to what? Listening to and watching a U-Tube presentation by a Hypnotherapist, Marisa Peer, I discovered purely by chance whilst looking into Jaybro/Jan's recommendation "Progressive Hypnotherapy". This woman is apparently very famous, has worked with Olympic athletes ref increased performance, and all sorts of other famous people. Has developed her own particular hypnotherapy, that basically gets straight to the actual nitty gritty SOURCE, so by-passing the need for lengthy "Talk" type therapy, which haven't ever done ANYthing for me. Is all about RE-Programming our minds. If it had that effect on me yesterday, i.e. gave me some HOPE back, I need to tune in to one of her many free recordings every day. Maybe even purchase some of her specific recordings: for combatting insomnia, healing your own mind/body, procrastination (another "typical Bi-P symptom" when in my prolonged severe depressions) because I NEVER get ANYthing done. Some of it imperative too and just makes it all worse, vicious cycle. She even has a recording to help "Cope with Cancer".
Hypnotherapy is a very powerful and VERY underestimated therapy. My best friend is one. Does some amazing work with/for people. You'd think I'd have had her to help sort me out (I'd have PAID of course), but we tried it, and it doesn't work so well with someone you know, have a very personal connection to or with. It's that much more difficult to concentrate on what they're saying without your mind straying off. Plus her "voice" isn't conducive to me, I respond better to other particular types of voices.
I'm mentioning it, because if any of you are ever struggling to keep yourself "Strong" with all you're going through with BC, consider it. Many of them incorporate CBT or NLP in a Psychotherapy, Neuroscience sense, which is basically just changing the way you think, therefore reprogramming the mind. But it can be that much more powerful than "normal" types of counselling/therapy, in that its carried out when your mind is in a relaxed "trance" state. (That's NOTHING the same as the badly associated "hypnotic trance" where you perform stupid things on stage!) Your mind is that much more open and "receptive" to positive suggestions when it's in such a state than normal consciousness.
I've so BADLY neglected myself, mind and body due to this Bipolar diagnosis (definitely much of it due to my BC diag and treatments 2006 and 2007 on top of other major loss and traumas). It has so massively and drastically negatively impacted my life, in so many ways, for so many years, especially the last ten, that I've reached a point, mentally, physically and now also financially, where it's gonna be that much more difficult to PULL myself back up from. Have allowed myself to be defeated by it, take me over, to the point where I've no longer wanted to survive and only cowardice of available methods has been keeping me alive. I could never do what my brother (also Bipolar) did 8yrs ago, i.e. hang himself.
SOOOO, please forgive me rabbitting on about none BC stuff (though my Bi-p IS somewhat related to it). I'm putting all of this VERY personal stuff down to you, my DEAR friends, NOT for SYMPATHY, not to depress you, not to lay it on you, but to be WITNESSES. I'm taking a leaf outta PEONYROSE'S book. I'm finally gonna FIGHT it - NOT be DEFEATED by it. I'm going to make a point and habit of hooking into inspiring videos and recordings, on a daily basis. I felt such a BIG "shift" yesterday, after listening to and watching that Marisa Peer presentation, I even did some much needed cleaning for an hour. Belieeeve me, that's a HUGE "biggie" for me, after moving to this house 7 yrs ago, never sorting it, and just getting "used" to living "in" and "with", a complete and seeeriously total s**t tip. So much so, I don't ever allow anyone IN I'm sooo embarrassed about IT and myself. Total opposite to how I USED to be. DIDN'T get me off to bed at a reasonable hour though, did it?!!! Maybe put me on a too MUCH of a "high" - I have to watch those too, though they are sooo much nicer than the "deadness" of the prolonged "lows".
Thank you all for your eyes, ears and patience with me and all of the above, MY DARLIN'S. Don't forget, you have my permission to question me and tell me off. I need to be doing at least one FORWARD job EVERY day, no matter how small. 'Bout time Delly got her show back on the road, and got some of her ole STRENGTH and MOJO back, innit?!
SO NO MORE DILLY-DELLYING!!! 😄 Lots of love to everyone, xxxxxx❤️xxxxxx
Hi everyone. Sorry, I'm hopeless at keeping up with all the posts lol. I hope you're all ok. I had my pathology results today. My surgeon said, I've had good response to chemo but my tumour weighed 16lb (not sure if that's still 1kg) so I dread to think how much it weighed before chemo! Apparently, 8/10 lymph nodes were cancerous on my mastectomy side and the one that was taken from the other side was 'mildly diseased'. He says he doesn't think I will need any more surgery but oncology have to discuss it too. I'm feeling quite happy about it all. I've booked an appointment for October to discuss reconstruction, so that gives me plenty of time to think about it. Recovery is still going well, but I'm swollen on mastectomy side, so my appointment for a prosthetic fitting might have to be delayed if it hasn't gone down
You are the warrior. 🎀🤗
Gosh, I feel tired reading that. While you do not want any of this, it's great that it's full steam ahead - even if it means the menopause*. I'm also pleased to hear you read content that's helped you.
I've everything crossed and sending all positive thoughts for good news for your MRI scan. 🤞
*No idea if I've gone through it as I had a procedure in my 30s that stopped my stupidly heavy periods and I've had no symptoms - well, between us, the only thing in the last 2 years is when I got to go, I got to go! 🌊😉 They are going to test when I go onto hormone treatment.
@delly Well, I did have a nice 15-year quiet phase in the middle (I should have appreciated that more)! But yeah, bit of a saga and then some.
My main concern with implants was sensation - I think I read somewhere that the only hope of regaining a little was with a natural recon. But, the reduction (from 34H, not missing that quite frankly!) saw that disappear, so... I mean, I'll mourn it once everything calms down, but once it's gone it was gone, it seemed, so there goes that reason for anything further.
I also have an acquaintance who had a single mastectomy several years back and went the back tissue route. She was so unhappy with the resulting appearance, especially compared to her real breast. I think that killed for me this idea that 'natural' would automatically be a better look.
If it helps with your own decisions at all, I did challenge my surgeon on the choice for implants and he said I could always change my mind - as in, if I hated the implants, I could replace them with natural tissue. That was a new idea, that this wasn't set in stone (mind, I doubt the NHS would be rushing me in for that kind of nonsense)! But, as he said, it was easier to go this way, try the implant first, avoid a big extra scar if I didn't need it. No use doing it the other way!
Seromas were mentioned. There has been some increase in fluid since the drains came out on day 4, but so far so good and fingers crossed. I had a problem with one after the last lumpectomy, five years back. And I was still an 'H' at that point, definitely not somewhere that needed swelling haha (suddenly the o.O emoji is even more appropriate, snort!!). Surgeon (same one, we've developed a good bit of banter these days!) took great delight in attacking it/me with the biggest darn needle....!! Bleh.
@PeonyRose9 My fingers are so crossed for you - you deserve a bit of good luck in all this! xx
Hi Peonyrose Alice
Golly that has been a busy day for you, with much done and ticked off. So your poor bod is being loaded up with all sorts, + starting menopause to boot.
Yeh, I'll certainly be praying for good results for you tomorrow. You certainly DO DESERVE them. Hope you have a good peaceful and restful sleep tonight, flower.
I've had a few extremely long and late ones recently, so I shalln't be long for the ZZZZ's. Try and get back to normal hours.
Lots of love to you and everyone, Dellywelly xxxxxxx
Hey Delly and my other pink ribbon warriors..🎀. It’s been a bit of a day! Kicking off at 10am with a jab at my doctors to stop my ovaries producing oestrogen/ progesterone... I guess it’s putting me through menopause because my cancer seems to love those hormones! Then off to the hospital for an ECG and a Denosumab injection for my bones, along with collecting my Ribociclib chemo tablets ( and a read through the possible side effects which I’ve already decided I’ll take a pass on!) to start Wednesday with the Lectrozole I’m already taking. Tomorrow I’m back off to the hospital ( I’m sure they’re going to start charging me rent) for the MRI scan on my liver... pray it’s not cancer... It would be nice to get a bit of positive news, although it wouldn’t change the treatment plan that’s in place. Thank you for the links I’ve been given for hope with others in my situation....it’s lightened up a very dark place. You are all amazing women and although I’ve never met you there is a depth within us that I feel couldn’t have been achieved without our shared experiences ❤️🌟🌈🥰
Hi back bookish (geek😜). No, no, I find it all very interesting. I'd read back through some of your earlier posts on other threads, so had picked up on most of your "story", so to speak. That's why I mentioned a prolonged tough time you've had.
I was quite small, 34B, and was recommended the Lat Flap. But I just didn't want self tissue recon, and espesh didn't want to compromise my back muscle, me being slender and it being my strongest muscle. Didn't have any "spare flesh elsewhere to use anyway. But one of my passions is walking/rambling/fellwalking, so didn't want rucksack straps chaffing on two large back scars either. And yes, you're right, one of the "benefits" of Bilateral work is that you can achieve a more even "match".
I'm just glad you're now doing okay. Healing well?? Have YOU had any problems with seromas forming at all? I was speaking to Gelbel about them on the "Auxillary Node Clearance" thread. But then, I'd had separate masts a year apart, both with full ANC at the same time. May be different with your procedure. Has the possibility of them forming been mentioned to you at all?? Mine came up about 2 wks after the surgery.
Hope all you other girls are all feeling okay today, are you?? Amy, Gelbel, Peony.
Titch - have you had a date yet?
Lots of love, Dellywelly xxxxxxx
Long slog. Yeah. I usually try not to think about it all too much, but I have been battling cancer one way or another for three quarters of my life. That kind of sucks. But, I'm still here, still kicking - and that is kind of a miracle!
I think for me it was less about losing my breasts - although sure, a big element - and more just rejecting the narrative of 'just in case'. I strongly believe that it was the 'just in case' radiotherapy I had for the initial lymphoma that caused all the rest of the problems, so not too surprising I've had doubts about such suggestions ever since! I've spent decades trying to pretend this all wasn't really happening, I guess, and there's something fairly un-pretendable about a full mastectomy o.O
However, this time was different - this was the first (of three diagnoses) triple negative. Things felt like they were escalating, and as my surgeon said, "You can't keep doing this" (annual scans, lumpectomy - and hoping that things were caught in time). The risk was starting to look too great. And for the first time, someone told me that my Hodgkin's/radiotherapy put me at a higher risk than the BRCA gene. Still, it felt like one of those horror movies where the baddy offers a horrible death if the victim doesn't pick up a pair of shears and chop off their own fingers or such. What a choice!!
But, yes. The hope is that I'm getting off a merry-go-round. No more annual MRIs and terror of what'll turn up this time. Removing a huge risk factor that I was sort of aware of, but not really acknowledging.
As for the reconstruction... mainly surgeon's choice on the implants (pre-pec, with TiLoop mesh), but I made him explain his thinking and it seemed sound. Having both breasts done it's a good visual result, and much simpler, less drastic surgery overall. I refused point blank to carve up back muscles (I'm still using those!!) for the 'vanity' of boobs. Might have been nice to have the bonus tummy tuck, but might not be viable tissue, after previous abdominal surgery (cos yeah, I am one lucky over-user of the NHS!).
I'm still waiting for things to settle, so I'm withholding total judgement, but I am slightly amazed at how much they still look like my boobs - I 'lucked out' on available options, I guess - and there's one positive from having waited 20 years, as the medical options improved. Reduction - previous step - was a surprise bonus, I really like being a 'normal' size! I 'only' have reduction scars, not classic mastectomy wounds. And even while they are lumpy and rippled a bit, fully dressed no one would know anything (except perhaps wondering if I lost weight? LOL!). So there's things to be glad of, and I'm sure I'll lean into those over the negatives as time goes on.
Phew. Okay. That was a waffle and a half!! Best you're sorry you asked 😉 LOL!
Bookish - Hi again. I've been having a read of your history of C 30yrs ago and BC from 20 yrs ago. Crikeybobs girl, what a looong slog it's been for you. Plus, that's been a huge, massive and brave undertaking to have a Bi-lat mast and recon op. Do you feel, as with my own thoughts with both my mast ops, you didn't want to lose them, but at least you've now reduced the chances and risks of recurrence in breast tissue?? I hope you feel that is at least SOME consolation.
May be too early for you to say yet, but l also hope you're pleased with the results. Did you choose "implant" for "ease" as were my own reasons? Or were there other reasons for not choosing "self tissue" recon? And did you have SUB or PRE-pec implant placing, with or WITHOUT Stattice/or tissue matrix slings?? I haven't yet completed my very delayed implant recon xxxx
Titch - Ref repasting your post. "Thanks", but you flatter me. Mmmm, me thinks it was simply more to do with Delly persistence, and not wishing to be defeated by a flllippin machine(!!). as it DID take a while and a few attempts. Thanks also for the extra info on your girls, cats and not least of course, hubby. Yeh, poor fella, living in a household with FOUR hormonal women!!! Aaaarrrgh for him.
Bookish - But I DIDN'T recognise Robin Wright though. I had to Google her!! Was ONLY then did I realise and recognise that I'd seen her whilst only HALF watching Wonderwoman, on in the background. And yeh, I agree, she does look good in it! Especially if you're saying she was 50 at the time of filming. But I'm afraid I can't be classed as being a member of your "Geeky" class yet 😆 Hey, I'm not knocking YOU, anyone else, or IT. Whatever floats your boat, I say. I happen to love cartoons, Shrek and Despicable Me types especially. To me, they're like going to see a panto (which I also lurrrv😊), in that they are as much for adults as kids, provide a giggle, and are easy entertainment. I'm still a BIG KID, if you haven't ALL already sussed (I can hear you all saying "NO, reeeally Delly"!!), and I don't care!! Still love the ole Disney cartoons. ANYthing Tim Burton, from Sweeny Todd, Alice in Wonderland, Edward Scissorhands. Just his sheer imagination blows me away, and sooo clever. Recently went to see his version of "Dumbo". Sat there, in a cinema MOSTLY filled with KIDS (yeh, in my element!), was totally engrossed, enthralled and entertained by it - just my cup o' tea. Loved it. These last years, I struggle to watch anything that requires a lot of concentration to follow the story. Just want/seek "easy" and uplifting entertainment. May be partly to do with Bipolar Disorder, but is that just an excuse(?) or mostly being down to that BIG KID?!! Ha Ha - I'm NOT ashamed to admit ANY of it. Ohhhh no I'm not (she says with a panto grin😛)
Gelbel - I'm Sorry, I keep hijacking your thread with unrelated stuff. Please forgive me for it. xxx
Lots of love to everyone, Dellypoos xxxxxxx ❤️ xxxxxxx Hey look 🐘 Dumbo!! 😊
(Any one help me? - Sooo, if I plug this old I/pod into my computer, is it as simple to download these U-Tube Hypno recordings into it, as I would anything onto a "Flash Drive" girls?? Obviously I'll have to make sure it's charged up. I'm pretty sure I have all the required leads for it. I'm a bit LOATH to get rid of it, despite it being an antique. But also, they're such lovely designs these Mac products (not to mention expensive). Perhaps I ought to find a download of its instructions?? Thanks in advance xxx
After, all. Hope the weekend finds everyone on a "good day".
Delly - I think recognising Robin Wright in Wonder Woman is a mark of your own geek credentials 😉 She is absolutely my idol in that - spurred a real 'fit for fifty' urge in me. Once I'm recovered, back to that for sure! Having to keep reminding myself that it's still *very* early days - managing to shower and feed myself is absolutely plenty for just now!
I've been home a week now, after 4 days in hospital. Everything still feels so weird. I mean, I have fake boobs o.O It's been 20 years since I was first asked to consider a mastectomy, the reality of it actually having happened (after all this time) is still to sink in, methinks. In the meantime I'm not in pain, really (thankfully!), but I can just *feel* the things all the time, and that's more than a little odd. Brain not really grasping it all yet.
Well, back to my busy schedule of movies and TV binging 🙂
Thankyou for posting my message Delly-you claim to be be behind on technological advances but at least you managed to copy and paste it which I failed miserably to do!
Hope you’re all having a nice weekend -Peonyrose I just started following these ladies on Instagram last night
Lots of information and positivity on their website. Sorry if you’re being inundated with suggestions!
Had my first CT scan lastnight-what a weird feeling it is when the dye gets administered-honestly thought I’d wet myself!!!
Delly I have 3 daughters ranging from 12 to 17 so our house is definitely hormone receptive-at least the cats are boys so other half not completely alone, but yes I’m a teacher as well but supply-I stopped as soon as had my diagnosis in Nov as didn’t want to risk catching covid!!
Hope you all have a lovely Sunday!!!
Love to you all!xxx
Well . . . . "I" have o n l y just finished clearing up after you lot!!!! Mess? and talk about wild?? YOU all ended up making ME look shy and demure in comparison. 😝
Bookish - Afraid I have only TWO words to say in response to your fillem faves - Yeh GEEKY 😆 I'm teasing (well partly! 😛). Robin Wright? Didn't I see her in "Wonder Woman" the other night?? I was too busy bopping and entertaining to watch it fully. Sorry about the "Princess Diaries" faux pas - jeez, I'm showing my age ref films. How are you doing, healing and feeling post op wise now?
Amy and Gelbel - No probs, flower. Thanks for your Happy Birthday wishes. Yeh, Tuesday, got yours and Gelbels days mixed up. Hope you're both having a relaxed and restful weekend.
Peonyrose - You too. Jaybro/Jan mentioned the "Progressive Hypnosis" (look up on U-tube) on the "Axillary Node Clearance" thread, for chilling to, or helping you to sleep. I had a look at a few tonight - reeeally good.
I don't have a mob phone I can record onto, am still using a now antique dinosaur Nokia 6230 !! I have my deceased brothers old I/Pod 2 ( I've never used, or know how to, so I'll try and get someone to show me how to record onto that, then I can take such recordings to bed with me, with some earphones. Told you I was a numpty 🙄
Titch - Thank You too for the Happy Birthday wishes. Are you a teacher? Or when you say "two of my girls", are you meaning two of your daughters?? If the latter, how many daughters do you have?
Lou and Parky - If you're both still looking in, I hope you're both okay.
If there's anyone I've forgotten, forgive me.
So who's birthday is it next then ? ha ha 😆 xxxxxxx
Here's TITCH'S "Spoiler" message!
Hi lovely ladies!!!
I am so sorry I missed your birthday yesterday Delly!!!! 🙄 Feel terrible but Happy birthday or Penblwydd hapus as we say in these parts!! Unfortunately I was on heavy-duty homeschooling policing after receiving emails from schools saying 2 of my girls hadn’t done the required amount off work! ￼😝
Peonyrose I am in awe of you and just wish I could give you the biggest hug-can’t wait for hugs to be a thing again!!
Gelbel hope you’re feeling okay and the soreness goes quickly so you can do those John Travolta ´Saturday Night Fever’ moves on Delly’s multicoloured dancefloor!
Well by rights I should be at the hospital now prepping for my op but got 11 days of getting cramp in my fingers from crossing them in the hope that the new date goes ahead!
Still onwards and upwards...well sideways at least!
Lots of love to you all!!!xxx🙄
I honestly don’t know why my last post showed up as spoiler!!! I’m not giving any cliffhangers away!!🤣
I think only Delly worked out how to see it! I’ve just tried copying and pasting it here but it won’t let me!
I you do want to read it just scroll down to my last message-click on spoiler then click on spoiler again and it’ll come up!!!
Hope you all have a great weekend!!!xxx
Should be Wednesday Delly. Slight chance Wednesday week.
I did wonder why my hip and ankle hurt this am. All that dancing. 💃
Mum not bothered ✋ - had her 1st Covid jab today.
Hey Gel - Awwww, but I like your Norah Batty's. Please can "I" have them? Am making a SNAKE onesie ready for our next party night - it needs to be TIGHT! Please apologise to your Mum from me for the missing trunk on her onesie, will you.
You're another one who doesn't remember last night. You kept pouring the ole "dancing juice" into your drain bottle. Am surprised your BCN didn't say owt about its contents today?! Maybe she didn't want to embarrass you? Mmmm, probably thinks me a bad influence.
More seriously - Guess you are waiting on results again now? Any idea when? Fingers are crossed for favourable ones for you, darlin'.
Lots of love to you all, girls xxx❤️xxx❤️xxx❤️xxx
Had a fab chat with my BCN earlier - we really drilled down on attitude and change curves. It's sort of something I do in my day job. Telling fear to do one sounds fabulous as it's not the stay positive, fight it clap trap people think is well meant.
I had my drain out today. The nurse was happy with everything else and topped up my softie for a better fit. Gonna take my Nora Batty's off. Even survived my husband driving (that I always hate) in the snow. Took an hour to get the snow off the car.
Delly, yes Yorkshire, Leeds - we had 4-5".
My BCN nurse explained next steps and possible outcomes depending on findings.
I'm having a 🍷. Cheers to you all.
Titch - Why does your post come up as "Spoiler"? Took me (numpty here) a while to suss it out. Clicked on it twice for your post to come up. xxx
Amy and Titch - I don't belieeeve you two. You were BOTH with us last night. We have PHOTOS (to prove it!) of you both, taking it in turns to hang from the glitter ball, . . . . . . by your ANKLES. . . . . ROTATING!!! 🤣 xxxx
Anyone seen my elephant TRUNK today?? Probably that Gelbel, claiming her knitted knocker back. 😘
Hi everyone! How are you all? I'm doing ok, still sore but its getting better every day and I'm making sure I do my exercises! I'm seeing my surgeon on Tuesday, for pathology results. I'm a bit nervous, but I'm hoping it will be radiotherapy next.
Happy belated birthday! Sorry, I'm hopeless at keeping up with things. I hope you had a lovely day
I'm so sorry about your results. Keep on fighting this, you're a strong person! I hope you're feeling ok and seek as much support as possible
Ah, to use the very geeky you-have-to-know-the-movie joke: how 'inconceivable' to confuse Anne Hathaway (is that Princess Diaries?) with the lovely Robin Wright, being told 'As you wish' by her dashing Dread Pirate Roberts! The Princess Bride is such a quotable one for fans. "Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die!".
Yeah, yeah - I did say I'm a giant geek! 😄
Bookish - Princess Bride? Is that the one with Anne Hathaway? I saw the first Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter at the cinema, when first released, I get you on the "fantasy" type. But am more a romcom and Mission Impossible adventure type girl. The Holiday is one of my faves, though ANYthing that's uplifting and upbeat. Hope you have a good restful sleep tonight, lovey.
Same goes to everyone else xxxxx
Delly: I've started a long-overdue rewatch of the Lord of the Rings trilogy. I am an enormous geek, and they are so enveloping, ultimately so uplifting, and take me right back to a happier place 🙂 I might follow those with The Princess Bride, Ferris Bueller, and anything else that tickles my fancy!
Thanks Bookish - Ha Ha - No offence taken. I just wish I was doolally all the time. Glad you're feeling comfey. Your "favourite films"? Such as ?? xxx
Happy birthday, Delly! May you ever be 'dolally' 🙂
Yes, I've been coddling myself today. Feeling in need, so it's been lots of tea and my favourite movies.
Peonyrose, you are an inspiration! My heart goes to you, it really does - stay strong!
Eeeeeee, Thank You girls. It's sooo kind of you. You'll have to forgive me if I'm annoyingly excited, but it's so lovely to have someone to share it with (poor Delly 😔)
BluebellTime - I'm a real techno numpty, Mo, so if I can do it anyone can. I make up for it on the dancefloor though 😆
Peonyrose - Yeh, isn't that a brill post BluebellTime linked to. Truly Awesome Pawsome. You up to a bop, if you aren't too embarrassed by what you've already heard and about to see??!!🙄 One of your song's has just come on - "I believe in Miracles . . ." Hang on, now it's "I WILL SURVIVE"!! Yey, Gloria. Afraid my disco stuffs a bit dated. Just doing the "bumps" with you. Whoops, Sorry, didn't mean to send you flying. I can be a bit over enthusiastic with my backside 😆
On a very serious note, and yes I can be at times, I can't tell you how much it has GLADDENED my heart, Peony, you coming back on here today, with THAT attitude, and saying what you have. I REALLY DO APPLAUD YOU. Cheers for Peony, Hip Hip, Hooraaaay. Now go and make yourself useful, woman, and go and pop a few more corks will yer. Yehhhhh "Boogie Wonderland"'s on. One of my faves.
Phew - bit hot these onesies 😩
Lots of love to everyone, DoolallyDelly xxxxxxx❤️xxxxxxx
Happy birthday Delly!! 🥳🎉🍭🍰🦄🐯🦒🐘🥂🎈🎁 I hope you have had a special day ❤️Gelbel, I hope the discomfort you’ve been feeling is on it’s way out and tomorrow it’s settled back down. Well I have managed to get back up again after the latest knockout!! It’s been a tough couple of days, we really do get put through the wringer with this disease! I’ve just popped on here and seen everyone’s messages, support, care,friendship, laughter and love. I’m so fortunate to have you all in my camp... standing with me 👭👭. I have spent the last 48 hours telling fear to do one and recharging my hope tank... and it’s filling up nicely. Then I come on here and you gave me the link to awesome Pawsome’s thread about no evidence of active disease. That’s what I’m talking about.... I’ll have whatever Pawsome is having!... way to go!💪🏼 I’ve started reading a book called ‘how to starve cancer’, very interesting and full of hope... I’ve been hearing so many stories of miraculous recoveries which has helped me get back on my feet. I love my tribe... you give me so much comfort and strength 🌺❤️🌺
Thanks for doing the link Delly. I read through your How to Do it and thought, naaaw, just ask Delly. Happy birthday lovely xxx
Hi Gelbel - Thank You for your kind Happy Birthday wishes. I'm sorry you're feeling tender today. It's my fault for secretly loading up your trolley with so many crates of champers, whilst you weren't looking 😊 I DID PAY for them though!
No snow here today. Noted you're Yorkshire Gelbel - I'm Macclesfield, about 20 miles S of Manchester, just on the Cheshire/Derbyshire border, so it's hilly. Popped out to the park for a walk and to feed the lake birds - it's bitterly cold. Popped to say "Hello" to my lovely elderly neighbour, and thank her for her card. She's a wonder at 87 and a ray of sunshine. Just recently had her 1st Co-vid jab. Told her I'll wait to see if she grows horns and a tail, before I get mine done! 😄
Hope you and other post-oppers, Amy, Bookish are all taking it easy and coddling yourselves?? Peonyrose - I hope you may be feeling a little better today?? Must be very difficult for you, having to come to terms with what you are having to. Sending you some strength to keep fighting.
Don't worry about dancing. I've often been told I'm very entertaining on the dance floor (Huh, cheek of it!!), so I can provide any amount of silly dancing to keep you all amused. I'll just pop some corks on a few bottles, help yourselves to straws girls.
Love and a big warm, gentle hug to you all, DiscoDancinDelly xxxxxxx (singing in an EeebieGeeBees voice - Doin the Nightfever, Nightfever-err, you don't have to do it, waa-aa-aaaa) xxx