Hi Nikkit
It's not really fair for your surgical team to ask you to make the decision - I know exactly what you mean about not being able to decide whether to have tea or coffee!! I'm not in quite the same position, as in I wasn't really given an option, but I'll tell you what advice I was given in case it helps you.
When I was diagnosed they took a biopsy of the nodes too and found that it had spread to at least one node. I had chemo first - I was told that chemo is a must if it has spread to the nodes. I then had a mastectomy and most nodes removed and then radiotherapy. I did try to persuade my surgeon to only remove a few nodes but he said the "gold standard" was to remove all level 1 and 2 nodes in case of further spread. He was able to leave level 3 nodes. As it turned out 3 nodes were affected. As you say, all our diagnoses are different and treatments are changing all the time.
You really need someone to take the decision for you, try asking your team how they would advise their wife/daughter/mother if they were in your position. I know it's an age old trick but should make them focus and help you take the correct decision for you. It may be that both outcomes are the same but you need to know all the facts before you can decide.
Never apologise for asking questions or for help. All too soon you will be the one giving valuable advice to others, you probably already are doing so.
Wishing you strength as you try to decide and I'm happy to discuss further if I can help.
Evie xx
