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How can I help my mum?

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Member

Re: How can I help my mum?

Thrummiekid,

You sound like a very caring person, who is close to her mum, which is what your mum needs now. You are already doing the right thing by asking what to do to help. I was "lucky" that I didn't need FEC-T but I know from speaking to other women that everyone reacts differently to the treatment, and each suffers different side effects.

Be there for your mum. Give her time to talk to you if she wants to, but don't expect her to always want to talk. Your mum may want to protect you from how she is feeling, and her deeper thoughts, just let her know you love her and are willing to just sit with her, if that's what she wants.

You may want to try and think of planning a treat for when the treatment is finished, to give her something to look forward to. I found during my treatment that little treats helped me, a friend wrapped silly but thoughtful little gifts such as a couple of packs of tissues, a chocolate lollypop, a pair of warm socks, some lip balm, hand cream, dried fruit, and quite a few other things, including something bottle-shaped to celebrate my final treatment. Simply opening them made me feel cared for, and the extra benefit was that they were all useful during and after my treatment.

I hope, now that you are two weeks in, you have a better idea of what is happening, and the worst of the uncertainty is over. Your mum is very lucky to have you by her side, and I wish you both all the very best. x

  

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Member

Re: How can I help my mum?

Thank you I really appreciate that.  It begins tomorrow so it all very scary for us, the not knowing. X

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Community Champion

Re: How can I help my mum?

Hi, you sound a lovely daughter. Just being there for mum will be so helpful. Practically though, perhaps you could look at nightwear. Things do get a bit sweaty Betty with op and chemo, and I found cotton  pj's much easier on the body . I also changed my toiletries, checking that they were paraban free. My hospital gave me Aveeno cream, so I've just stuck with that brand. As for food! Well, I really took a good look at what I was eating. I bought the Royal Marsden cook book, and the Maggies place one and used their recipes exclusively throughout my treatment. Or rather, my husband did, bless that man! No one can guess what is going through another persons mind, but I was scared of procedures and found support on here immensely comforting. I was worried about understanding the procedures, so downloaded some of the PDF 's from here. Particularly helpful in talking to my grandchildren,mans understanding my pathology. I would have loved a daughter to go on treats with before my treatment began, and perhaps shopping expeditions to sort out underwear etc, and to generally keep busy and take my mind off things. I'm sending you both hugs, and best wishes for the future. 🍀💐

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Member

How can I help my mum?

 

My mum had grade 3 breast cancer, they operated and have managed to remove it all, however because it is a cancer that grows on its own, she is having to have FEC -T.  It starts this Thursday.  How can i best help her get through this.  What things will I need to look out for, how will she be feeling etc.  Thank you in advance.  x