Hello Jaybro Just cos you are not crying on the outside you maybe crying on the inside. It sounds like you are dealing with your own emotions in your own way which in turn is good for you. As you have said you don't really cry that's fine. I have met some people on my path of life who have said the don't cry, again they have dealt with their emotions in their own way, what is best for them at the time. So to coin a fraise " Its good to talk". That's why I think this forum is good we can let out our feelings of the moment, even if we want to scream, cry, shout, be angry, have feelings of loss, even be numb and the list will go on. At least now I can let go. As much as my family I trying to support me, I am sure there are times they don't know how cos unless they are going through my emotions, how can they help. I hope this helps in any way, as I said before cry or don't cry it is how you feel . we are not alone. Big Hugs Too Us All. Purple Lady xx
Hi purple lady and Jowels
I just wanted to say that numb is good. Numb is how I got through everything till radiotherapy, by which time I was emerging into the world again. I didn’t google, I didn’t read the letters sent to my GP. I had no idea if I was HER negative or positive, let alone what it meant. I asked no questions. To me, it made no difference and would probably scare me further so I just numbed out and let them get on with it. I was well and truly assisted by chemo effects which reduced me to zombie status at times!
My one regret is that I still haven’t cried. I’ve never been a crier and I managed about 30 seconds on the day I was more or less told that was it, all finished (it isn’t but hey, what’s the odd extra chemo or an MRI?). I really do envy anyone with the capacity to have a good sob and get some of the pent-up emotion out - so go for it.
Wishing you both well x
Hi purple lady
I can relate to the feeling of numb.I hope you can recover quickly and are being looked after by your family /friends.
I have just had a sort of shower to feel a bit cleaner without getting my dressings soaked so wasn’t very enjoyable and to be honest I’m shattered now!
sending lots of hugs
Hi jowels At this moment in time I am feeling numb not really sure if that is a good thing or not. Not numb as in body but in mind. Wow you are very brave and strong even though there are times you do not feel it, I think crying is good it as it's place in our mixed up life. I am sure your family have the strength to get through this with you. I am so glad I have found this forum between all of us we will have the strength to support ourselves. Take Care Best Wishes Purple Lady x
Hi purple lady
i read your post which sounds like where I am.I am 40 and have an amazing husband and 5 year old son.Im reaching out for support where I can get it particularly around supporting our son as I do worry about it’s effects on him,with him being so little.I was diagnosed 6th Dec after being treated for a cyst for 4 weeks.
i had a mamoplasty and SNB 14th Jan and am recovering slowly. I’m doing a lot of crying and hate the excercises but I know they have to be done.
im pottering at home but am pretty knackered still.
im hoping the margins are clear so it’s no more surgery.Then my dr said probable 6 rounds chemo then radiotherapy.Seems like a huge mountain doesn’t it!
how are you feeling at the moment?
best wishes Jowels x
Hi Jan I want to say thank you are so right about me I am usually the person who is control of situations, supportive of others on a professional manner, this also falls into my family life, my family need me just as much as I need support now. That is why I decided to call out for support from this forum so I can be strong enough to support my family. You said it having cancer is the most frightening and misunderstood thing to have in your life. So as for being practical I can do that I just needed someone to remind me how and not to let my cancer and future treatments take over, though at the same time allowing the support in. So what now I am doing my exercises, taking each day as it comes. Thank you x
Hi purple lady
You sound very pragmatic. You reminded me of myself last Christmas - I cancelled everything since my first chemo was Christmas Eve, but I had no family to consider. Be prepared for a lot of fear among your loved ones and friends. There is so much misinformation around and so much alarmist thinking - we usually see the worst of it all. But the survival rate for breast cancer is over 90% now, which is brilliant. Focus on that, rather than on the big fear we all have to go through.
What now? You DO YOUR EXERCISES. I can’t stress that enough (being a shirker who is paying a bit of a price), you talk openly with your friends and family, you and everyone you know avoid Google like it’s the plague and you hope. The latest surgery findings will determine your treatment plan, which might well have been discussed today (Friday seems popular for multi-discipline team meetings).
If your nodes are affected, you may need more surgery and/or chemotherapy. I was terrified and I got through it (as if that helps you. Basically I’m saying it’s bearable, often it’s not that big a deal if you’re lucky). You’ll probably have radiotherapy, again something people react to differently (I thought it was a doddle) and you’ll have hormone therapy of some kind, depending on your age. Whatever your treatment, you are going to need a lot of support so remember all those offers of help and ask - you’ll be surprised at how many people will be willing to transport you hither and thither, fetch prescriptions, cook you food etc. But you do have to ask because people are very scared by this particular illness and don’t like to tread on toes. I learnt so much about the nature of true friendship this past year.
I hope you get the best of the bad news and wish you well with whatever lies ahead.
Well here I am didn't think I would be doing this guess I not in the movies or in a dream this as really happened to me. I was diagnosed 3 weeks before Christmas I had breast cancer, my left breast the tumour was 1cm in size. So after everything was explained to me what was going to happen next, My family and I were left with this news. So we got on with Christmas in the weeks a head of my pending operation I explained to my place of work and my work colleges who all were stunned and not sure how to react. Though I did have lots of hugs. So moving forward to now I had my wide local excision also had some lymph nodes removed this was done on the 8th Jan so now in recovery mode, waiting for my results which will be 23rd Jan. So what now.