Scared - Local Recurrence Diagnosed

Hi everyone.

I’ve posted a couple of times in the past but not for a while. 

I was diagnosed with TNBC in March this year. I’ve had neo adjuvant chemo, followed by 2 surgeries including WLE with recon and axillary clearance (1 node affected), with what I was told were good results. My last surgery was 19th September and 3 cycles of Carboplatin were to follow and then 3 weeks of rads in January.

My last Carbo was due 20th Dec and I was excited at the prospect after quite a gruelling year, but after having bloods taken on 17th, the chemo was delayed as my white cells were too low. 

I also saw my Onc on 17th and at that time told him that a couple of days prior I felt what i thought was another lump in the same breast very close to the surgical line around my breast (where they had operated up to). After an examination he immediately sent me for an ultrasound saying he did not believe it was anything to worry about.

The radiographer said he didn’t have a clue what it was but I could see the mass on the screen. I had 2 more biopsies which I found incredibly distressing as I was still in shock. When I first told my Onc he thoroughly examined my chest, neck etc and measured the lump which scared me considering I thought he would simply say it was to do with my surgery. 

After several sleepless nights, I received my results on 24th Dec, when a surgeon apologetically confirmed a new cancer.

I had a CT scan yesterday and will get my results on 31st Dec. I am so scared. The surgeon who gave me the results was my original surgeon (I ended up with 3), and she looked shocked agreeing with me that this was a very early recurrence but that all BC is unpredictable and she had seen it before.

I haven’t even had my last Carbo or rads. I had good clear margins on 19th September. My scans were clear at the end of June. How could this have happened?

Needless to say, I’m a wreck. My family and friends know but whilst supportive, they’ve all been quiet as they’re shocked and worried too. My husband is fantastic. He has apologised and said that he thought I was being negative; that when the original cancer was removed, he believed what others have said in as much as the cancer had gone; whilst I was saying that it will never truly be gone and I will have to live with it for the rest of my life. He now understands the seriousness of our situation.

I cannot believe this is happening and my head is all over the place. Of course I am thinking the worst. I do not want to leave my family.

I’m sorry for the ramble but this is terrifying and so so quick.

Thank you for taking the time to read my message. I just wondered if anyone is in or has been in a similar position?

 

Kath xxx

 

Kath :heart: Please ring your bc nurse on Monday and let her know how you are feeling, you are in shock and probably being strong for everyone else while your head is going ??? do have all your questions ready for 31st appointment, is it the same bc, I think I’ve seen on here somewhere some else had tnbc then it came back but as a different one that could have tamoxifen. Also treatment plan, remember you are in control of everything, it won’t feel like it at the moment but you are, all decisions you will be making are yours to make. I am sure others will be along to offer :heart:?:heart:Soon ??:sparkles::sparkles:shi xx

Hi kath,

ive just read your story and wondered how you were getting on???

you sounded in need of a hug back in December hope the new year got easier for you. Sending you some virtual flowers :bouquet: for support. Best wishes yx

Hi Kath

I know your post was a few months back but I hope you are ok?

im a while behind you but can definitely relate to the fear that TNBC leaves you with.

xx