68.4K members
1.2M posts
cancel
Showing results for 
Search instead for 
Did you mean: 

Wife diagnosed with TNBC...

15 REPLIES 15
Shi
Community Champion
Community Champion

Re: Wife diagnosed with TNBC...

Jam pot thank you for advising us your wife’s surgery has been success. It’s easy to focus on recurrence and it will alway be never more than a thought away but step by step and day by day you move forward, always vigilant but forward as best you can you find your own way hit by bit we all do. Remember to live and enjoy the now because that’s all any of us can really do ❤️ Do everything you want if there is one thing the journey teaches us is live everyday to the max ❤️💕💕Shi xx

Jampot79
Member

Re: Wife diagnosed with TNBC...

Update.

My wife had surgery 10 days ago. All went smoothly and is doing well.

We had results from surgery today. So 3 nodes removed and no sign of cancer ever being there. The tumour was 23mm prior to treatment. There was 1.5mm residual left, and clear margins. 

Obviously we were hoping for a complete response from chemo, and we sort of felt a bit disappointed that it hadn't completely gone. We are happy that the chemo has obviously attacked the cancer massively. 

We are going to discuss oral chemo (Cape) at next meeting tomorrow. It was briefly mentioned today and they said that because the residual is so tiny that it might be unnecessary. But my wife is thinking anything to reduce reacurrance is worth doing. 

So we came away happy that surgery was successful, abit disappointed and a little stressed. Obviously the biggest fear we have is reacurrance and hearing of residual scares us.

Will update tomorrow when we know the next plan.

 

 

Evie-S
Community Champion

Re: Wife diagnosed with TNBC...

@Jampot79 - thank you for coming back to update about your wife, and also for the upbeat positive message. Great news that her tumour has shrunk and that there is no genetic link. Make sure you look after yourself too as it is also tough being the supporting partner, and as Shi says BCN is here for you anytime - for good and bad moments. Very best wishes to you both, Evie x

Shi
Community Champion
Community Champion

Re: Wife diagnosed with TNBC...

Thank you for taking the time to update us on how you and your wife are doing. Breast Cancer Now and all of us are here for you both as much or as little as you need. Step by step and day by day you are both doing great. Thank you again for update. 💕💕Shi

Jampot79
Member

Re: Wife diagnosed with TNBC...

Haven't been on here for a while, but thought I would give a little update of how my wife is doing. 

So, she has completed 4 X EC. She had an ultrasound after her 3rd EC and the tumour had gone from 23mm to 10mm. She is now on weekly Paclitaxel. She's had 4 out of 12 so far. 

She had the genetics testing done as she is only 39. We luckily had private healthcare so this was done quickly and I think they tested 9 different gene types.... But it was all negative so such a relief as we was worried about passing it to our daughter. 

She has stuck to the cold capping. She's had the odd session which made her think about giving up, but has stuck it out. She has thinned out on very top, but has managed to keep hold most of her hair. 

Overall she has been amazing. Obviously there are times she is drained etc, but has said it's all manageable. I am still a massive worry guts though!

We are remaining positive, and have every reason to do so. Forget all the Google stats etc etc. Everyone is individual, and treatments here and now are effective. I can see that now. 

I just wanted to thank people for calming me down initially when I was in a panic for my wife. 

You ladies are all so strong.... Take care

Claire2022
Member

Re: Wife diagnosed with TNBC...

I have 5 friends that had early stage tnbc and that was well over 5 years ago and they are fine and all clear of cancer. Please talk to the breast cancer nurses and McMillan (spelt incorrectly) for support. I also have tnbc but mine is not a good outcome but my tumour was 9cm and had 6 lymph nodes involved. All the best xxxxxxx

ttyler
Community Champion

Re: Wife diagnosed with TNBC...

Hello,

My name is Tara and I was diagnosed with Grade 3 stage 1c triple negative breast cancer in March last year at the age of 36. I had my diagnosis on the 20th March just as the country went into lock down on the 23rd, so I was given surgery first to remove a 1.9mm tumour and 2 lymph nodes. Both were clear of cancer. I then had 6 rounds of fec-t chemo and 9 sessions of radiotherapy.

 

 When I was told I had cancer everyone around me was crying and upset and I just remember thinking, do they all think I’m going to die? In my head I was screaming get this out now! I have 2 children to take care of and I have not seen enough of life yet. There was so much more I wanted to do. In fact I used to talk to my lump and tell it to do one. I remember thinking don’t get too comfy, because you have to go. In fact I think if someone had given me a knife there and then I would have cut it out myself.

 

 In terms of the treatment, I did not find it too bad at all. I took all of the anti sickness meds given and although I bloated and put on 2 stone, I was never sick and was still able to get up to make the boys drinks flask for school and go for a walk to the end of the road each day. I had chemo 3 weekly and on week 3 I felt strong enough to watch my 10year old play football too.

 

 Now in terms of support for your wife I found that my husband struggled and still does now. We never really spoke about how I was feeling, as he just kept telling me I was doing a lot better than he expected and he would often tell me that things would get much worse with my next round of chemo, because that was what other people that had, had cancer said happened to them, so it would definitely be the same for me. Yeah right! Can I just say that every person is unique and we all react differently to illness and treatment. Statistics are just numbers. Who are they actually comparing me to when they say you have this percentage of survival? For all I know it could be women in a totally different age range to me that had my type of cancer 20 years ago. Like I said above no two people are the same, so no one will ever be 100 percent accurate. I think 🤔, but bear in mind this is just my opinion if you believe you can do it and have hope and optimism you float on through. I could have throttled my husband then and still could now sometimes. It’s nice to be told you are doing well and just to have someone sit with you, give you a hug and not talk at times, but just know you are there for her. I don’t blame my husband as he was brought up like this and also in my head I knew if I tried to get up out of bed and carry on the disease would not beat me. So perhaps I made it look as though I had control of the situation when at times I felt a little sad. Not because I didn’t believe I could get through the journey, but because I felt tired, like nothing fit me and I looked like a man with my bald head.

 

 Please do try not to look at google as it will stress you out as well as your wife. Don’t give it the satisfaction of adding extra worries to you at this time. As I write this post I am realising that perhaps my husband may have done this, and this is the reason for his reactions. Be there for her and know that if you or your wife need support there are always people on this site to share your worries with and get reassurance from. In addition your wife medical team should be able to answer any concerns or worries. They are much more experienced than Dr Google!

 

 What other members have said about looking at their  life and making changes has certainly been true for me too. I don’t tend to let people treat me bad anymore, I have the confidence to say my opinion to people now rather than tell them what they want to here to make them happy or to keep the peace and I have just started an access course to go onto a nursing degree next year. If you or your wife realise things need to change from this experience, support one another through it, don’t take it personally embrace the change, as perhaps this situation needed to happen to ensure better things and for you both to realise how strong and capable you are.

 

 I had my first mammogram since diagnosis last month and it came back as no evidence of malignancy. I have not survived 20 years like some of the members on the site yet, but I have survived 14 months since diagnosis and I fully intend to survive many more, to see my grandchildren have children! 

 I hope what I have said has helped a little.

 

 Tara

Evie-S
Community Champion

Re: Wife diagnosed with TNBC...

@Jampot79 - I also wanted to add my best wishes to you, your wife and family as your wife goes through treatment. It’s really good that you have reached out on here for support, as that will help you better understand the treatment and diagnosis, and will also help you to support your wife better. Please feel free to ask any questions at any time, you will never be judged and no question is too big or small.

You have already received some great advice on here, but I wanted to tell you about a friend of mine who was diagnosed similar age to your wife about 14 years ago and she is well (touch wood of course). Evie x

GabyF
Member

Re: Wife diagnosed with TNBC...

So glad you're feeling a bit more positive! You and your wife will have good and bad days, but I found that things are more manageable if you take one day at a time, try to enjoy the small things and even, if you can, have a laugh about some of the frankly ridiculous things she'll be asked to do. Also, if you feel comfortable with this, talk to other patients and families on the chemo ward - I'm still friends with two ladies I met there and we still support each other.

Jampot79
Member

Re: Wife diagnosed with TNBC...

Thanks so much for telling me your story. Really does help my mind get out of the dark places. 

I also uses the nurse helpline on here today. Really did help and explain. 

I feel that there is very much hope and no reason why my wife can't get over this. It was explained to me that every one is different. And studies or research online is often outdated, generalised and just not always right. 

Women do beat this just like the other types of breast cancer. You just don't always see the good news online as those people are enjoying their life. 

I do feel so much more positive. Must not let my head go to dark thoughts etc

 

GabyF
Member

Re: Wife diagnosed with TNBC...

Actually, my diagnosis was in Aug 2018! How could I muddle that up!? 😂

GabyF
Member

Re: Wife diagnosed with TNBC...

Hi James, 

I was diagnosed with TNBC at a very similar stage to your wife in August 2019. Following chemo I was told there had been a 'complete response', ie. the cancer was gone. I had a lumpectomy and Sentinel Node Biopsy to clear the remaining dead cancer cells and finally lots of radiotherapy. None of this was easy, but it worked and I'm still here! The cancer diagnosis was awful, but it also made me rethink my life and career and I can honestly say that I am probably happier now than I was pre-cancer, how ever odd that might sound. I'm telling you all this in the hope that it might give you and your wife some hope. TNBC is very treatable these days. But you MUST stay off Google - so much of the information there is based on false or outdated research and is totally unhelpful. If you have questions, bombard your wife's doctors. They are the experts and are there to help you get through this. I also found the monthly chemo threads on this forum really useful while I was in treatment. It's a scary and difficult time, but women here give each other the most amazing support.

It's not going to be an easy time for either of you, but you will get through this, absolutely!!

Shi
Community Champion
Community Champion

Re: Wife diagnosed with TNBC...

Please do use the number on here and speak to a nurse, they will be able to speak to you rather than you googling yourself crazy, I think most of us have done that at the start, so do be kind to yourself. Yes people do survive tnbc and breast cancer, my gran had breast cancer at 44, she lived till she was 95 (back then they didn’t know what type of breast cancer it was) please do remember your wife’s team have seen it all before and do know what to do, be gentle with yourselves, it is a lot for you all to take in, but you will as your wife settles into appointments and treatments, do ensure you use all that Breast Cancer Now can support you both with, Breast Cancer Now is here to help and support anyone as much or as little as needed. Step by step you will get through ❤️Shi

Jampot79
Member

Re: Wife diagnosed with TNBC...

People do survive this don't they and get to live long healthy lifes? 

All I can focus on is triple negative! And high reaccurance.... 

I know one step at a time...... So worried for my little family..... 

 

Shi
Community Champion
Community Champion

Re: Wife diagnosed with TNBC...

Welcome to Breast Cancer Now, sorry you find yourself reaching out on here, do please use all the facilities Breast Cancer Now can offer support and help with to you and your wife. Please do keep off dr google, it will send you into a spin. A good book that helped me was surviving triple negative breast cancer by Patricia prijatel, she is a 2 x tnbc survivor, it isn’t for everyone but it helped me. Robin Roberts and Joan Lunden are tnbc survivors too if you wanted to google anything. Do keep eye on trials and if your wife could be eligible to go on any, the treatments for tnbc are changing all the time and your wife’s treatments will be tailored specifically for her, it is never a once size fits all treatments plan, reading the threads will help you both each stage of treatments and if your wife wants to join the threads then she will find support and understanding from others who are travelling the journey too and others will pop on with tips and tricks to navigate through ❤️ Do speak to your wife’s team at the hospital too, they are there for both of you too. Remember they have seen it all before and will know what to do, step by step you will get through ❤️ Shi

Jampot79
Member

Wife diagnosed with TNBC...

Hi all..

Hope you don't mind me posting on here. My wife who is 39 was diagnosed with TNBC last week. Early Grade 2. 20mm with no lymth node invasion. They wouldn't give it a stage as it looks early, but said if they really had to it would be 1. I am obviously devastated as is my wife. We have a 6yr old girl who is our world and can't bare to think the worst. I did the wrong thing.... I googled non-stop about tnbc and literally made myself physically sick with panic, worry, etc. All I can see is doom and gloom, etc etc. Reaccurance stats and nothing saying beyond 5 years etc......... My wife has been told it's been caught very early, looks contained and no lymth node invasion. She has had biopsies, MRI, ultrasound, CT scan. We had been trying for another child, so we are going to have her eggs frozen prior to chemo, then surgery and radiation. The medical team have reasured us it's very treatable, and in recent years tnbc is having the same success rates as other types, but after reading online etc, I don't know what to think. Are we just told this to make us calm down!

I really do hope there is hope for us to be a happy complete family for many years to come.

Thank you for listening to me.

X