Thanks for your reply. I've had a few intense days with almost a doctor's appointment a day and today we met with the multidisciplinary team. Every day it becomes more real and I'm starting to be brave enough to say out loud "I have breast cancer". My husband kept calling it a lump, and today he used the word tumour for the first time.
I've actually already emailed Kate and her reply was a breath of fresh air and I immediately sent screenshots to my husband. We both needed that spark of hope.
Thank you so much for your reply Seabreeze! I find it hard to share personal things but opening up on the forum has helped me starting to open up to my friends too. My husband and I had several meetings with oncologists, a surgeon, etc and have decided to go for surgery, accepting the increased risk of miscarriage. Because of the triple negative and of family history, it feels like the best option and I'm glad we've had a few days and meetings to think through it. I also feel good about starting treatment sooner rather than later. Hopefully in 5 years time I can be back on this forum, helping someone like you helped me, even though I know the road will be a long one!
Thanks so much for posting - it sounds like you have had a lot to deal with recently. How did you find your consultation?
My name is Lizzie and I am a Services Worker on the Someone Like Me service: https://www.breastcancercare.org.uk/information-support/support-you/someone-me-telephone-support.
I just wanted to get in touch to reassure you that if you would like to, we can put you in touch with a volunteer who has experience of the issues you are facing - someone who understands and has been trained to help.
All our volunteers can support you by telephone, and some can support by email too. If you would like to speak over the phone, you can contact us at 0114 263 6490 (we're open Mon-Thurs 9-5pm, Fri 9-4pm).
Alternatively, you can also speak with one of our volunteers over email. Reading your post, I thought you might find speaking to Kate helpful - here is a link to her profile: https://www.breastcancercare.org.uk/information-support/support-you/someone-talk/someone-me/our-volu...
Remember where we are if you would like to talk:)
Welcome to the forum, the special club that perhaps no one would choose to join!
It's a lot to take in when you are diagnosed, let alone when you just found out you are pregnant a day or two before that! It will take time to register it all. I suggest you take someone with you when you see the onc to get your treatment plan, since it helps if someone can jot down notes in case you don't take it all in at the time. You might also want to note down any questions in advance of the visit. Most hospitals will introduce you to a breast cancer care nurse who should be able to give you additional info after the appointment with the oncologist, usually some booklets relating to the treatment of your particular type of treatment, including any side affects to watch out for.
If you haven't already, you might want to think about telling a friend, if there is someone who is relatively calm and practical all the better! I totally understand the struggling to actually talk about your diagnosis angle, however friends will be really supportive of your situation and also a helpful distraction at times.
Most of us find it gets easier once treatment starts, even if the treatment causes some side affects, at least you know it is being removed/zapped by whatever treatment is recommended. I presume you have told the oncologist about the pregnancy? If not please do asap.
Try to take one day at a time and be kind to yourself. There is always loads of support, advice and space to laugh, or eeekk, on the forum, with people who have been there, or who are currently going through treatment. There is also an ask the nurse section.
Additionally if at any point in time you want to speak to someone who has had a similar diagnosis to you, you can call the Breast Cancer Care team and ask them to put you in touch under the someone like me scheme.
Worth highlighting the younger women section of the forum too - there is also a facebook group if that's your thing!
In my experience I found the oncologists and surgeon brilliant. I am now 5 years on and like to give back to the forum, so revisit fairly frequently!
Do post again if you feel like you want to release in any way shape or form.
Virtual hugs to you
I've discovered a lump at the end of July while on holiday and following the mammogram, ultrasound, biopsy cycle, I received confirmation on the 5th August that I have a triple negative cancer, just days after having a positive pregnancy test. After the ultrasound, I went from obsessing over whether I was pregnant or not to obsessing over whether I had cancer. I feel I've come to terms with the reality that I have breast cancer, but at times, it feels unreal. Tomorrow I have my first consultation at the hospital where I will be treated and am slightly anxious because although I've seen a doctor who explained my results to me, we'll need to choose a course of action tomorrow. I have a son who just turned one and I lost my mum about 10 years ago because of breast cancer. I'm 36 (today actually) and I feel somewhat optimistic but also scared. Tomorrow will move from "I have cancer, it says so on paper" to "we are actively tackling this and it will impact me, my husband, my son, my work, my whole life". Quite a long message, but I haven't actually had any in-depth discussion about my feelings with anyone. It makes it all too real.