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Kmk66
Member
since
03-02-2016
111
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Hugs
09-04-2016
11:17
1 Hug
You can cope with this but should you have a wobble just remember we are all there holding your hand with you xx
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09-04-2016
11:14
Hi Pat, sorry you find yourself here but you will find lots of support from the lovely members on here. The waiting to know is the hard part and now you know what you are up against and your plan it becomes easier to deal with. I like you had my diagnosis via a routine mamagram and had a 17mm lump and I also delayed my surgery to fit in with what I wanted and plans already made. My initial plan was the same as yours and I'm pleased to say my plan didn't change and I thankfully didn't need chemo as it wasn't regraded. I'm 7 weeks post surgery and waiting for rads to start at the end of this month (hopefully). I can understand your concerns with the fatigue as I wonder too and I don't have MS to contend with on top. You have already shown great strength so far on your journey but we all have our down days and worries and no worry is a silly worry so if you have a concern......just ask the BCC family. Wishing you good luck. Kerry xx
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09-04-2016
10:48
Hi Charys, my lumpectomy was my 11th op in my life and every time I'm in recovery I just want to sleep. I honestly don't think you will be awake enough for your body to panic but I know everyone is different. As others have said I am more than sure the feeling you will have is relief rather than panic. As for the morphine, I've had it many times and even via a self admin device so I can press a button when pain level is high and I've never felt "drunk" or "tipsy" and as I'm not a good girl and enjoy drinking alcohol and therefore know both these feelings they are not the same to me. I would say sleepy is a nearer feeling. Xx
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06-04-2016
05:20
1 Hug
Oh Kaz I am really sorry to read your news wasn't good and it's very unfair you have to wait a little longer to know what your next step is. Once you have your plan in place, it becomes a little easier as you know what needs to be done. Sending you a big hug xx
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03-04-2016
01:59
Hi Alison, I am totally with you on this lost of feminity issue. I too have lost my womb and cervix 8 years ago at the age of 42 (battled with lots of surgeries to keep my bits for 12 years and finally gave in to having them removed) but I kept my ovaries. Phycologically I didn't feel like a woman anymore as I didn't have the female bits apart from my boobs. My boobs have probably been the only part of me I liked and to then get BC hit me hard and like you haven't felt like a woman or feminine. I had a lumpectomy on 22nd of Feb and now the swelling has gone down somewhat, I can see a slight difference in shape, size and it's a bit more droopy but not anowhere near as bad as I expected. I am a bra size D/DD and my lump was 17mm plus took 1cm of breast tissue around the tumour to get clear margins if that helps. I am currently waiting to start radiotherapy and the oncologist has told me my boob will shrink a bit. I've decided to wait and see how different my boobs are after I'm through treatment and if need be I will have cosmetic surgery to even me out, whether that's putting some stuffing in the smaller one or reducing the unaffected one. If they remain as they are now I doubt I will do anything. My advice to you would be to wait and see as the surgeons are really good at moving breast tissue around to even you up. But I do understand that it's not what you look like to the outside world, it's how you feel inside. Kerry x
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03-04-2016
12:49
I can't help you with the medication aspect but If you explain to them about your fears I know on the day of surgery they can give you a sedative to help you relax a few hours before going to theatre.
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03-04-2016
10:43
1 Hug
Glad you are feeling better Kaz. This site, forum and the ladies who are on here are a great support network as they KNOW exactly how you are feeling. Living with BC can be a very lonely place but like many others, for me coming on here really helps. Good luck Wednesday and let us know how you get on with your results. X x
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03-04-2016
10:35
Hi Charys, Hang on in there girl. It does get easier. Reading down this thread, I too am absolutely gobsmacked with the way you have been treated from getting your diagnosis. And I firmly believe it is due to you being private. Unfortunately, I've had to have more than my fair share of surgery in the past and equal amount private and NHS. The only advantage to me of going private was the private room and ensuite bathrooms. I have never felt that the nursing care was a patch on NHS and wouldn't have contemplated going private for my BC. I'm not meaning the nurses are useless but it's more "general" care and not specialist to a specific condition. My BCN was there for diagnosis, armed me with a folder full of info and I had an appt with her 4 days later (which we sorted at diagnosis) to give me time to let it sync in and have questions that might not have been answered. She is on the end of the phone if I need her and rings me regular to see how I am doing. She is so calming and knowledge as she should be and I know I wouldn't have had this privately. Seriously consider changing to NHS, dealing will BC is hard enough without having to arrange your own care. Wishing you luck, Kerry xx
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03-04-2016
09:42
Hi Kaz, Totally understand how you are feeling and as many have said below they have also gone through the same emotions you are feeling now. This waiting period is just the pits! I like you, am normally an independent, strong and controlled person through life hiccups and have dealt with a demanding job and demanding household but this has floored me and left me feeling weak and vulnerable.......... All very alien to my normal kick ass attitude. My advice to you is to tell those around you are struggling so they know you need support don't assume they will know when to give you the support you need. It's took me since diagnosis end of Jan to last week to admit to myself I can't do this alone and I've made it harder for myself. Also try doing things for you and if you are still working full time, take some time out to do nice things......massages, ladies how lunch, hobbies. Doing things you want rather than things you have to do eg work, will help the time go much quicker. Hugs to you and hope you get your results soon . Kerry x x
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30-03-2016
05:42
Well I texted him to tell him what happened at the appt and had no reply.........what a surprise. Think I'm going to grab a vino, get in the hot tub and play some tunes so he doesn't confront me about the appt today. But think I have to confront him about how he's making me feel after my daughter has flown off Friday otherwise it's all going to make me ill. Thank you for listening/reading and being there xx
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30-03-2016
05:35
Yes I've read some posts on here from ladies who have said they still get twinges of pain a few years down the line. Oh happy days lol. Kerry x
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30-03-2016
10:36
1 Hug
Thank you ladies. I'm currently sat on the hospital car park waiting to go for my initial oncology appt. I've managed to give him the brush off so I'm going alone. I just feel I am better without him at the mo and maybe through the rest of all this. I'm desperate to keep the peace at home as my daughter leaves home on Friday to work abroad for 7 months so don't want to spoil her last few days. I wish i could could talk to a friend about it all but they would be gutted for me and angry with him as he's put me through a lot in the last few years. I may well try the someone like me service as I really am struggling to hold together. Thank you for being here xx
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30-03-2016
07:14
1 Hug
Thank you for replying bottyboo, means a lot to me. Wish household stuff was that simple. Everything is in my name, mortgage, bills, insurances the lot and all comes out of my bank account. We had joint account but he is rubbish with money, which we now know is part of the aspergers, so to protect everything we now have separate and he just transfers part of his income into the household pot. i think your doc is right as I remember thinking to myself when I got diagnosed that this was either going to kill or cure our relationship and unfortunately I don't think it will be the latter
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29-03-2016
08:30
1 Hug
Posting in here as right at this moment I don't know whether to cry, scream or get blind drunk and do both! I was diagnosed January this year with tubular breast cancer and had a lumpectomy on 22nd Feb. I'm healing nicely, had good post surgery results and have my oncology appt tomorrow to discuss starting rads. This should all help me mentally but my partner has been unsupportive from the start or at least I feel he has been. I know he struggles with empathy ( he was diagnosed with aspergers in Nov 15) but somethings are beyond a joke now. The day I got diagnosed, he got blind drunk at night and crashed out in the spare bedroom. I needed a cuddle and ended up crying myself to sleep. He took 2 days off to "look after" me after my surgery but my first day home, apart from asking if I want a cup of tea a few times, he watched horror films (which I can't stand) in the lounge and starting drinking at lunch time. By 7pm, I was feeling very sick and he was unable to stand and fetch me a bucket. I had to get my own and yep he stormed off and crashed out in the spare bedroom. I earn more than my partner by around £1000 a month and unfortunately I don't get company sick pay so I've chosen to work part time from home to elevate any financial worries and only took 3 days post surgery completely off. My March pay was around £700 short of my full time wage (work has broken down my annual salary into an hourly rate). I told my partner this but he has not offered or given me any more money than usual to run the house etc. I feel really let down and I'm stressing about bills as April is a 5 week mon the. It hurts as I fully supported him through losing his job for 6 months last year. He casually informed me Saturday that he has offered to go and give a friend of his a foot massage who has just had a dmx which is lovely...........but where is mine! I'm his partner and he's not once offered to help me relax. If I mention this it's going to look like jealousy but it's not. I simple want to be thought about instead of being this strong and solid person that in fact is crumbling emotionally and mentally. Final straw tonight he has thrown a fit that my oncology appt is 11am, middle of the day and he's got paper work at work piling up and he's tired. He's on call tonight and stormed out on a job and I feel like changing the locks so he can't get in. He has been to every appt so far but I just want to go on my own now. I don't want to be anyone's burden. I'm sorry for the long whinge but didn't know who else might understand to whinge to. Someone else please tell me I'm not on my own for feeling let down and so vulnerable. It could all be my emotional state of BC is heightening my emotional state of other life issues and I'm making a mountain out of a mole hill
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29-03-2016
06:16
I told close family while I was waiting for the results of biopsy as I was quite emotional and usually a very strong person. I wasn't sure if it was the right thing to do at the time but a friend of mine who's mum had BC 15 years ago said her mum didn't tell her until she had the biopsy results and it didn't enable her the chance to get her own head around it before everything started. She said I'd done the right thing telling my daughter from the very beginning and wished her mum had done the same. My daughter is 19 and about to go and work abroad for 7 months. She has had time to see me coping before she goes while I am still in treatment. Yes sometimes I do have to put a brave face on for her but at least BC hasn't stopped her following her dreams. Hope you find the right time to tell your daughter too x
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29-03-2016
05:47
Have my initial oncology appt tomorrow to discuss starting and have a check up. I expect to be starting around middle of the month so will take tips from you ladies starting now. little worried about the driving to and from the hospital everyday especially as I get in week 3 but will see how I go.
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29-03-2016
05:27
I had my lumpectomy on 22nd Feb and it took an age to settle down pain wise - literally only being last week I felt able to use my arm properly. I've unfortunately had loads of previous surgeries (gynae mostly) and never eaten pain killers like I have but think it was more the SNB that I suffered with. i did have an infected heamatoma and seroma which didn't help so if you are in doubt OAD go and see your GP or ring your BCN. I'm surprised the hospital didn't send you home with some sort of codine to help you out if I'm honest
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29-03-2016
05:16
I had one and a heamatoma and they are very painful. I went back to the hospital and they drained it and thankfully it didn't come back. I would say it took Just over a week after the draining for me to get better movement and not be eating painkillers. I would suggest your mum rings to hospital and goes to get it drained
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29-03-2016
05:11
So pleased it is all going well for you Lou and even more pleased you are happy with the results. Keep your chin and positivity up girl. hugs kerry x x
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26-03-2016
08:53
Thank you AC will get that gel on my shopping in in preparation. X x
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