Breast Cancer Now Forum

Hi ladies,  Well I'm in a totally different place to a few days ago. The pain has settled down,  I'm learning how to deep breath if I get breathless. Smartie, it's comforting in a very strange way that you 'get it'  I don't feel quite alone. Stresshead, the oramorph really seemed to help me as well. I've not got oxygen but the deep breathing I'm doing really helps. Funnyface, it's an aspect of breast cancer that you just do not associate with it. In treating one part, it presents new symptoms that I never ever thought would happen. Barton, I do feel improvements a week after My last chemo. Today I had my blood done then chemo tomorrow. I'm not sure how long I slept last night, but woke this morning with pain but not off the scale. That I it's self is helping me cope with this much better. Thank you all again XBlannaX  ... View more

I think that's what is so shocking Carolyn, I'd gotten lots of craft paraphernalia to see me through the long haul.... Now look at me! I might just do the final insult and bling the fingers on a pink glove and blow a huge raspberry to it lol ... View more

Thanks again all, Just writing it down helps. I just carnt see them being able to stop the relentless spread. It scares the hell out of me that 'controlled' is not an option ' comfortable' preferable. Being Tnbc adds another tick to the 'comfortable' tag.  Going next week for the gem part is daunting too. I suppose if the paclitaxel hadn't exploded the tumours to spread like wildfire, I wouldn't be so traumatised.   I went from relatively low pain tumours to fire breathing rock hard crushing boulders. And to add insult to injury, sling in a couple of blood clots to boot! I'm having some councilling booked through the hospice next week, I'm hoping some of this rage can escape. Two weeks is all it took..... Two weeks prior normal upright body with normal aches and pains, to a wheel chair bound breathless wreck. Who needs assistance to wash dress and feed myself.  I carnt somehow see me ever getting back to that place but just worse! So how the blumming heck do you pull positivity out the hat?  I think I'll give that one the two fingers salute today. XBlannaX    ... View more

Hi guys, I took a few days to get my head around what happened. I was, booked in for an MRI and was in so much pain despite the effort and care by the staff. The bcn got the onc to come see me, I was struggling to breath and crying. He checked me over and said he would get me something to make me more comfortable. At this all I could do was wail pitifully, I was sobbing so this is it then? I'm to be put in the corner and made comfortable? I can feel it strangling me I want to gulp air, I need to breath I can if you do something, the onc looked blank.. I'll be dead by Friday for the chemo - I begged and sobbed. He went off came back gave a high dose of Steriods to be taken, instead of Friday I was to go in the next day they brought it forward. I almost got immediate relief from the Steriods. Hubby took all the details of meds given. I went on Tuesday for my infusion, by the evening I felt like a hard dead lump of meat was wrapped round my neck. My lymph fluid is moving, and instead of rock hard on weeny bit is soft.  I carnt write anymore, but please God I didn't want to die wide awake like that, XBlannaX  ... View more

Hi, I can really empathise with you not wanting to let go of something that is/was working, I hope you find out what's happening as that's the worst part, isn't it.  Hugs and love   XBlannaX  ... View more

Thanks Carolyn, Im going to try and see some good in the bad, I might not be able to use my hand, but I still have the other one. XBlannaX ... View more

Thanks EJ85, I'm at the point now where I will ask for some kind of surgical intervention. I know it inoperable and very aggressive currently, but I feel helpless feeling it crawling around my neck shoulder and chest, the tumours on the right side atre now starting to pulsate as it that's growing too, at this rate it will be growing faster than the chemo can finish infusing me. So sorry I'm now on such a downer. ... View more

Hey Tiger & Scratch, I had little bit more sleep tonight,very achy and sore, but not agony like it was before. The thing for me is the utter cold panic of not breathing and moving properly, my heart starts jumping and for a moment the terror of dying because I carnt breathe takes hold. I think I need some kind of meditation to get me through these episodes would help. I'm now counting the days till I can start the next treatment and get this under control. When I was in the throws of not breathing properly in between panting, I told hubby, if I'm like this tell them to knock me out, I don't want to be awake. Pure terror.   But today Is another day, another day to adapt to the limitations I'm now experiencing on a daily basis. XBlannaX  ... View more

Thanks both, I'm itching to get the chemo started, at the moment I can feel it swelling moving and getting hot. My neck to the left is rock hard and I'm finding it difficult to move around. Carolyn, I carnt do any of my craft stuff, I've got no movement in my arm or any dexterity of my wrist and fingers, my hands are so swollen I just about managed to get my wedding ring off, now that feels strange.  X blannax ... View more

Thanks Ellie & Helen, I spent a few good hours being wheeled back and fourth for my bloods today in a wheel chair, hard to think I what I was like just a couple of months ago and the change in me, I've got a  very swollen loppedsided shoulder, now a large pouch lump going from my shoulder up to my neck. I'm out of breath, my voice has changed and I'm so constipated I look in the later stages of pregnancy. My stomach is so bloated, just to add to the list of positions I can no longer get into to feel even a little bit comfortable. And what's the term? "oh mustn't grumble" lol in fact I think I am on the brink of hysterically laughing. One saving grace is I've at least managed to get on top of proper pain control.  I hope it lasts, and isn't just a once off flooke. The trouble is I'm drinking plenty of fluids to try and get it all moving and it just adding to a never ending list of problems. But being on here I know I'm not alone and I get some comfort in that. Oh and I'm now having wonderful hallucinations from the morphine! Brilliant! XBlannaX     ... View more

I'm OK marirose,  im more alarmed at how swiftly this is spreading, it's like each day it just grows, all I want is just to stop it in its tracks, now for me that would be a bonus. I've got a good team at the Marsden, when I went this morning they got me a wheel chair as I was so puffed out and short of breath. I'm stuck at the moment slowly watching my hand dexterity getting worse with no grip, that's less than a couple of days.  Thank you all again for your positivity hugs and vibes I really do appreciate it, XBlannax ... View more

I've had my appointment at the Marsden, I'm on carboplatin and gemcibatine, three weekly, then gem on different days, pain has settled down and the morphine is keeping it settled, I'm feeling more positive. Off for a liver function test tomorrow, then I have to have an MRI of my skull tumour, then my treatment will start. they said this one is a bit more aggressive and I've shown a good resistant to Se which is why they have put this one forward. I seem to be improving pain wise now just need this chemo to do its work xxB'lannaxx ... View more

Thanks again all, being taken off paclitaxel has had an effect to, lack of sleep, my hubby done a pain sheet so we can track all the medication and dosage times to try to get some rest and sleep, pain leaves you exhausted, a few more hours would have been nice, but small mercies at least I got some. I had an horrendous time trying to do my ct scan Friday, and I think I'm only just starting to get over that, but that's something I'll post later, as it is too long to go into. My median nerve has been impacted also, so my thumb and two fingers are numb and tingling right up to my neck. Sorry I'm tired again will try to post more hugs to all xxx ... View more

Hi all thanks for your positive words, I've just got out of three days in hospital, loads of tumours pressing on main vasculature veins in neck with a couple of clots which has left me out of breath and breathless all the time I now have them from my skull to a bone in chest 24 in total, I'm scared, all my other organs are clear. I see onc Wednesday to find out where I go from here, there is talk of vascular specialists to sort out the impacted main artery in my neck shoulder and arm. Dam this cancer. ... View more

Thanks all for your support, I've just got back from the Marsden, I had chest xrays and Ct scan Friday, chemo suspended, and the pain team came to see me, I'm on tablet slow release morphine, paracetamol, ibuprofen, something for the sharp pain, sennacot and stomach tablets, instead of liquid oramorph I have tablets instead. It might need tweeking up or down but she thinks she's got it about right. So in the kitchen is a pharmacy corner. I'm in bed as I only got three hours sleep last night then in for bloods at 8:30 this morning so I'm in pain still. Onc gave me the full once over and told me not to panic as there were alternatives for me. Ive had enough of writing as I'm tired.    XBlannaX ... View more

Morning, Thanks Nicky, my husband ended up phoning the Marsden in the early hours, I had to take my oramorph every hour,because the pain was Un bearable.  This morning the bc nurse phoned and is referring me to the palliative care team as a matter of urgency. I did tell her I thought it had spread and she asked about when my next scans were, I'm in on Wednesday so should know what their thoughts are on the spread. X BlannaX ... View more

Oh fgs carolyn ... View more

Sorry blooming auto spell carolus x ... View more

Thanks carotene, It's tough, I'm short of breath and I'm more and more restricted 😞 ... View more