Breast Cancer Now Forum

Angie  so sorry to hear your news . No words can make anything better. Sending you big hugs xxx ... View more

Sudzi hope you ok today after your chemo big hugs xxx ... View more

Hi Sudzi  Yes Im ok , still got mushy head . I feel I should not be on here as you and the other girls are going through so much worse . I feel bit of a fraud but its so calming on here I cant help but have a little look . I have a double appointment on Wednesday next week to see surgeon and plastic surgeon . So will have plan then I hope and no anti climax again as in the last time when I  was not expecting to be referred on to other hospital . (  Not sure if you can mention hospital names on here ) But Im going to be seen at a unit with an impeccable reputation so yet again another reason why I  feel blessed  - someone  must be looking after me . The only dread is if they ask for  3rd biopsy from  the suspicious cell area .. that had to be the worst thing Iv ever experienced in my life .. I could have cried my eyeballs out !  Anyway hows you ? any more thoughts on your wig .... dont know why you worried about it . In this day and age you can be anyone you want to be and change your image daily if you want , I imagine the biggy is its ok having the choice to change your image and this is enforced . ..a huge difference . I would be so upset if I lost my hair but I had coffee with a lady who diagnosed with BC two years ago and she underwent chemo , she is an inspiration I have to say . But when I said Id been told I probably wouldnt need chemo she said she had been told the same but following the breast tissue histology and the presence of other abnormalities she did . And went on to lose her hair . Her comment to me was if it happens dont worry about it , it grows back thicker anyway . And she has got lovely hair , grey in colour but it looks in fab condition so much better than mine . She said whatever you have have to face turn it into a positive . So I have thought quite a bit about what Ill do if that happens ....thats me Im afraid Im planning stuff and it may not be necessary . But I do anyway . So I concluded Ill embrace the challenge and maybe experiment with different headresses ..and if not Ill do a Tom Jones " and leave your hat on " . Quite like hats anyway . So Suds.. where are you up to at moment ...let me know .Big hugs and fairy dust for you xxx ... View more

Hi Sudzi  Hope this message finds you in good spirits as its a couple of days since you put your thread on , sorry Iv been off line .  Well my heads a bit mushy , my news is kind of good I think ? I have a 59mm x 25mm area of low grade DCIS , pre invasive and part of the 59mm has suspcious cells too  that they dont know what they are ..so bit confusing . Area too big to take without leaving me with a deformed booby ... plus nipple will have to go .So surgeon asks me what thoughts I have .. I say well as Id already been told I had widespread calcifications ..widespread is widespread so didnt really think there was much option than to have a mastectomy especially as it had already been mentioned as worst case scenario .. surgeon said she was glad  Id come to that decision by myself and she was happy to do a mastectomy . But went over the other issue of low grade DCIS being on trial and as it is contained within the ducts , could take the wait ,  observations and see what happens .But I cant take that option  because there is not enough evidence ...what is there to wait for ?? Also the suspicious cells ....and without taking the breast tissue and sending to histology ...no sure way of knowing whether there is any high grade DCIS in there as well . , So Sudzi my head in a bit of a spin ... very good news  no invasive cancer has been detected  but the double edged sword is that I actually cant be certain of that until after the mastectomy . So really Im bit back to square one not really knowing ...its all a bit of a roller coaster . Outcome at present is after surgeon examined me she felt I would be better with a procedure that she does not do so she has referred me onto another surgeon . Back to waiting for another assessment . Feelin blessed that I am being looked after for the best outcome for me , It has been made clear to me though that the 2nd surgeon will make their own decision to what they feel is right for me too .So all I can hope for is that this is not going  to go on for too long . Breast nurse did ring me on Thursday to let me know that the referral had been received by the other hospital and  I should hear from them soon . So that in a nutshell is where Im at ..Hope that makes sense . ps Not quite sure how Im supposed to feel , Im not complaining because you and the other girls seem to be going through hell and the diagnosis appear to be much more serious than mine is . I just still feel quite overwhelmed but I shouldnt be because at this moment in time Im a very lucky lady xx ... View more

Good luck tomorrow  Treeze.... hope it all goes as smoothly as possible . Take care mwah xx ... View more

Hi Treeze  Im only just beginning my journey and so far I feel very lucky that my cancer is  non invasive . I do have to have a mastectomy because of the size of the affected area and there are some cells which are suspicious too . Some of my  friends and work colleagues have been very sympathetic ,but as you say some people either dont mention it at all or in my case just look at me .  And as the guy I was seeing called time on our relationship I can only assume he ran for the hills in fright , possibly imagining that he was going to get lumbered with looking after me .. ha human nature is a strange thing .  But at this moment in time its only been a few weeks since the mammogram picked up a problem and I havnt been immobilised yet . I have however had other problems in the past where Iv been in a dark place and there were very few people who actually bothered to knock on my door and see if I was ok , and I had or so I thought had a large circle of friends and I was always out and about socialising . And when I was back to normal and out again I encountered some of my oldest and so called friends criticising and making judgements on how I should run my life . Needless to say I was not impressed and very quickly started to question why I had ever bothered with some of them , and others I remembered the times when I had always turned up on peoples door step when I heard they had problems or where unwell . And never in a million years would I have felt it was  my business to comment on peoples personal choices . So I ditched some of them . , amazing myself as at that time I was 50 years of age and had been friends with some since I was in school .  I am now 54 and very happy with the choices I made .  I do accept that everyone has their own life  ( but I always did ) , and at my age most people have  husbands , children, grandchildren , careers , parents still , hobbies etc .The reality is  that everyone elses life continues to run normally . So I would say that yes friendships do change unfortunately , and at times I havnt always managed to support or keep in touch with people who have needed it because I too  could not  due to my own home , work commitments etc .We are prob all guilty at times .  It does not mean you cannot feel sad , angry or lonely for feeling the change . You are human and going through a difficult journey so you rant on girl ! . And yes you will be ok soon ...but in the meantime kick and shout as much as you want ... youre having a bad moment so what ! and after reading what youre up against Im not surprised . Big hugs for you , hope youre feeling a bit better xx ... View more

Hi Sudzi  Glad you have support and your ex is helping ,  In the past Iv always found my support comes from the most unlikely people , those who I would never have guessed and those who I did ...let me down . Life can be strange .  I agree everyone has a story and lots of  people do have sadness and stress in their lives ... I think were all a bit guilty of not noticing . Maybe just as well sometimes I couldnt cope ha  ( tongue in cheek ) . You didnt need the  latest either did you ... Ill be thinking of you on Wednesday and blowing my fairy dust . xxx  ... View more

I love the pics Sue , made me smile xx And Sudzi of course you want Wednesday to come .You will then know what youre dealing with . Im sure my hair has now got a lot more grey from only a few weeks ago , the stress of waiting and wondering is awful . I only have one more sleep and I will hear my fate but bring it on I say so I can deal with it , this not knowing has got to be the worst .  Im sleeping quite well so far I must admit , I have lost weight and Im not feeling any motivation to do anything and I dont particulary care either right now . This is obviously  the way my body has responded  to the situation so Ill just ride with it . I have had a very stressful summer with lots of problems with my daughter and her children ...very long story with a history of at least 15 years . She was in a domestic violent relationship which resulted in all sorts over the years , every year I think thats got to be the last problem ...but oh no here we go again . Now I have a family back at home and all the crappy garbage that comes along too . The guy I met back in March decided to go back to his ex the week after I told him I had been diagnosed , so all in all I think my little body has just decided to shut down for a while . And quite frankly thats ok with me . The most important day is tomorrow and I dont have to speculate anymore . Iv no idea how I am going to react but I do know that all the energy I have will be conserved and used to get me through this next chapter in my life . Crikey dont know why i just blabbed all that I was only supposed to offer support to Sudzi ha ....sorry Sudzi it became all about me there .... big hug honey Wednesday will soon be here xxx ... View more

Dear Moijan  I have just noticed on another thread you are still undergoing treatment , may I please rephase my last sentence , I hope you have managed to have had plenty of good days and experiences amongst the not good ones  ... and to be able to offer advice still youre another remarkable lady thank you xxx ... View more

Big hugs Brenda and Sudzi for this coming week ... I will be blowing some of my imaginary fairy dust to you . I might sound a bit wacky but Im not really , I just know I cant make you better but I wish I could .  Lots of Bubble gum rainbow jelly tot fairy dust for you and all the girls who should not be on this site xxxx Steph x ... View more

Thank you so much for the honesty Moijan . For me that is the most important aspect of all . I can prepare my questions better , It may seem premature planning a mastectomy but thats me .Its not being negative I would just rather be prepared prior and then I am not wasting time making a decision . Im not rushing Im being practical I think lol ... the worst scenario will be if they say radiotherapy and see how it goes ...now that will throw me ! But hey ho Ill have to deal with it . As  Iv already said though it is widespread so cant see too many options available unless 2nd result extremely different from first . That s why I  had started to think  mastectomy  ( and Consultant has already mentioned it and  I would think of recon and strattis but obviously if radiotherapy an option there are the risks to any implant . I like your advice everything does not have to happen at once ...you are  so right . Well two more sleeps to go now and I will have final picture of options ....and cant believe I am actually sleeping ...ha I must be very odd . This information is so valuable I cant thank you enough xx I am very sorry your treatment has been so traumatic and not as you could have foreseen , its a lottery I suppose and I dont say that flippantly either . I truly hope you have managed to enjoy life again xxx ... View more

Hi  Thank you all for your replies . Its so overwhelming . I will most certainly utilise someone like me , the support here is fantastic. And I have def picked up lots of advice and ideas of what to ask . Ruth , Sue and Liz you all sound so inspiring and all your advice is priceless to me . I have read each word over to ensure I take it all in . I go on Monday to find out my fate . I dont know what to expect it could be better or worse but at least a plan of some description will be commenced . Iv pretty much concluded a mastectomy is on the cards as widespread is widespread so unless one half of the breast has harmless calcifications which can be left alone I really dont know what else they can do . But I only have 3 more sleeps to find out . Goodluck to you all and thank you so much . I will most definately ask more questions as I think of them . Possibly in a few minutes when I read your comments again ha xx Steph x ... View more

Emma if you scroll through threads there are some girls with lobular diagnosis x ... View more

So sorry Emma I have no idea . Perhaps one of the other groups on the site may have some information , this is newly diagnosed isnt it ... I look at DCIS because thats what I have so I will ask questions on that one for me .  I had no idea there was so many different types of breast cancer and the terminology ....I guess this is the only aspect of this site which maybe you have to be wary of , because we are all at different stages and some girls have better prognosis than others . I bet you have cried and maybe the advice Treeze suggested is the way forward but its difficult to focus on anything when youre upset ... but it sounds like today has been a difficult day for you and thats fine  youre allowed to (  as my friend always says to me , and  she also says " youre having a bad day  or moment not a bad life " . And thats what I say to myself to chivvy myself along . Im hearing you Em and sending you some hugs and squeezes xx ... View more

I know Im being selfish really ...life in the grand scheme of things is good . I also have other problems which are adding to my anxieties .I am looking forward to Monday when I get my final diagnosis and options  .. Im sure these feelings will pass and then I will take the steps ittle by little . Appreciate your words Treeze . Big hug ... x ... View more

Hi everyone  Having a bad moment Im afraid .... sadness and tears and I dont even know why ...for all I know my final diagnosis could be positive . Its so crazy where the emotions come from ! Theres no point even trying to make sense of why ..its just the way it is I guess . My ex partner from 20+ years ago has been diagnosed with lung cancer ...hes the same . Its a process but one of a hell of a **bleep**ty one .... couldnt ever of imagined Id be ranting on a web site ...let alone to you girls who have more than enough to cope with as it is ....Bloody lol . Im sitting here at kitchin table typing ferociously and the suns cracking the flags in the garden ....normal rule of thumb nothing would keep me from getting those last rays of the summer .... Iv def lost it today . Iv sat on that sun lounger about forty times this afternoon ..only to get up 20 seconds later .... this moment needs to pass asap !!!!!!!  Emma hope you ok today xxx hugs for you , Lesley and Mary too x   ... View more

In response to the feeling frightened . I have been diagnosed with cancer in my right breast and will find out my definate diagnosis on Monday . My emotions have been all over the place and last week I cried on and off . I cant seem to settle and im in and out of the house all day long but not really having anywhere to go . I must be using pounds worth of petrol going nowhere . I dont feel stressed but I must be because my behaviour and lack of motivation says otherwise . So reading what you other ladies have said it is normal repsonse but nonetheless its awful . Good luck Emma with your surgery big hugs x ... View more

Hello Angie I'm not surprised you feel out of control. What a shock for you and all in 3 weeks . My problem was picked up on my routine mammogram. I have no pain or lumps that I have noticed . I feel so grateful that it has been picked up and I am on the pathway. That is something I have not managed to get any information on yet . So I don't know what the guidelines say. Because I now know the second biopsy can tell a different story I don't really know what my definate diagnosis is . I have DCIS and it is widespread in my right breast . That's all I know other than its probably a mastectomy. I'm not frightened at the moment but I am very stressed with the wait . Iv had a few weeks to absorb things unlike you who has had so much thrown at you in a short space of time . Big hugs for you and thank you for sharing your journey with me x ... View more